How to forget the guy you love with 10 steps?

They say that parting is a little death. And a girl who has just broken up with her lover will agree with this.

This is a huge and physically tangible loss that gnaws from the inside... It seems that it will never get easier.

How to forget a guy? Get rid of the eternal feeling of loneliness and melancholy? How long will it take to heal? Let's be frank.

The heart is not a piece of paper, and memories of the past cannot be easily erased with an eraser! Yes, there will be sleepless nights, and tears in the pillow, and lasting sadness...

Only the sooner you can accept the fact that there is no longer room for this person in your life, the easier it is to say goodbye to the past.

Distancei

Stop seeing him. He offered to remain friends and every now and then calls you out when he’s bored? To hell with such friendship!

Cut off any contact with him. If you broke up on a good note, tell him firmly and confidently that you need to be alone. Your resources are depleted and you are unable to maintain friendships. Thank him for all the good things that happened between you and move away.

If a guy pesters you with calls and messages, accuses you of all your sins and continues to cause you suffering, block him on all social networks.

Don't answer his calls and don't call him yourself. Do not write. Don't follow his social media pages. If you have the opportunity, change jobs and avoid attending parties where you might meet him.

If you cannot completely limit communication with him, avoid discussing personal topics. You can communicate on work topics and meet on business, if necessary.

Distance yourself from this guy. To the maximum. It is difficult to forget a person who is an eyesore for you every day.

How to survive betrayal?

If the breakup is your joint decision, it is easier to come to terms with it. Unexpected departure and betrayal are a sneaky stab in the back.

There is a black hole in the heart and universal resentment not only for the guy, but for all men in general. For a woman, betrayal has its consequences:

• low self-esteem;
• thoughts that she is unworthy of love and will always be lonely;
• loss of trust in the male sex in general;
• reluctance to communicate with other people;
• depressive states;
• nervous breakdowns;
• complexes.

Many girls also regard separation as a betrayal. In fact, this is true. The person betrayed your faith in him, your love, and failed to appreciate you.

It takes time to piece yourself together. It is important not to allow yourself to give up and go into prolonged depression.

Don’t look for an answer to the question: “Why did this happen?”, don’t cultivate a feeling of guilt in yourself.

Stop deliberately hurting yourself by thinking about how your relationship would develop further.

Do not give free rein to anger and aggression, try not to take it out on loved ones. After all, if a guy betrayed you, this does not mean at all that you are surrounded by enemies.

If you can’t restrain yourself, temporarily limit communication, but don’t offend people in vain.

Right to suffer2

It's normal to feel pain when breaking up with someone you love. It doesn't matter how long your relationship lasted. And did they last at all?

If you, tired of unrequited love, decided to let this guy go, allow yourself to experience this pain. Disappointment, resentment and anger from one’s own powerlessness.

Allow yourself to drink up this entire cocktail of negative feelings and emotions. Imagine that this is a kind of emotional surfing - catch a wave and surrender to it. Eventually, you will find yourself on the shore.

How long does it take for a girl to forget a guy?

Sociologists conducted a study in which 300 people participated. The purpose of the study was to find out who experienced unhappy love and how.

After discussing this problem with all those studied, the scientists came to the conclusion that you can forget your ex-loved one only after a time that is half the period of your relationship. That is, as sad as it may sound, if a couple has been together for 5 years, then it takes at least 2.5 years for all the wounds to heal.

This formula is not mandatory, and according to psychologists, the pain from past relationships can subside within 3 months. But especially sensitive people can experience the loss of a relationship for up to 3 years.

Women take longer to forget breakups

Breaking up with a partner and emotions after that can be divided into several stages:

• The first stage is associated with shock and bewilderment from the breakup.
• The second stage entails rebellion and refusal to reconcile with the current situation.
• At the third stage, depression comes, a feeling of guilt for the current situation.

Interestingly, men and women have different feelings about a breakup:

• At the beginning of separation, depression is observed in 75% of men and 25% of women.
• But men cope with negative emotions faster and their psyche is less susceptible to negative consequences.
• Women do not suffer greatly, but the duration of their experiences is usually 2 or even 3 times longer. In addition, such experiences can even develop into severe nervous diseases and psychological trauma in the fair half.

That is, we can say that men do not suffer for long, but are deeply immersed in sad experiences and show them to others. Women do not show their sadness, but they eat themselves up from the inside day by day much longer than men.

Couples can get back together after breaking up

By the way, American scientists have come to the conclusion that 80% of couples who break up and meet again after a while develop very strong relationships. This occurs provided that none of the partners are related by marriage or relationship. But even marriage is not always an obstacle. 60% of people who met their ex-love even leave their husband or wife for the sake of past feelings.

Support group3

This guy is no longer a part of your life. But you have people who really love you. Spend more time with family and close friends. They have seen everything you have been through and are there to support you.

Should you discuss the topic of your failed relationship with them? It's up to you. Try not to dwell on it.

Do you have no close people at all? Read the stories of girls who experienced the same thing as you. Read blogs, leave comments. Millions of girls around the world have gone through this. They suffered and thought that they would never meet their love again. And after some time they found their happiness and remembered the past with a grin.

Keep a diary. Paper or electronic. Express your emotions and feelings without censorship. You can write this guy a letter - this is also a very popular practice, which is recommended by many psychologists. There is no need to send a letter, so don’t hold back and don’t be shy in your expressions.

Psychologist's answer: why can't you forget your ex?

It's been a long time since you broke up with your ex, but you can't forget him? Have you even started dating another guy, but still your thoughts keep returning to your ex? Let's try to understand the reasons for this situation:

• You blame yourself for something. Perhaps you believe that you made many mistakes in your previous relationships, which led to their final end. You have a lot of fears in your current relationship and you are afraid of repeating the same mistakes. You also have a lot of unsaid things in previous relationships. Therefore, you need to analyze the situation and write down all your experiences on a piece of paper. If the situation allows, then you can meet with your ex and have a heart-to-heart talk. Ask him the questions that are bothering you so much. And if this is not possible, then just understand that all people are different: one did not like it, while another may be delighted with the same thing.
• Take a closer look at your current relationships. There is clearly something that doesn’t suit you about them if your thoughts constantly return to the past. Analyze them: what do you lack in them, what irritates you. Tell your partner honestly about this and try to find a compromise.
• Intimate life. If you had a passionate and intense intimate life with your previous partner, but it’s somehow boring with your current partner, then this could be the reason. You remember the partner who brought you more pleasure. Therefore, add variety to your intimate life with your partner, discuss your intimate moments together and share your preferences.
• Stop comparing your ex-partners. All people are completely different, that’s how this world works, that’s the point. Don't live in the past. Work on your current relationships and develop them.

You need to live only for today's moment, your present. Find the advantages and positive aspects in your relationship, there are actually a lot of them. And remember, what we focus on is what increases. So let's notice more good things.

Gratitude4

It is difficult to thank a person for bringing you pain and suffering. But hate won't get you far.

Perhaps he taught you something, opened your eyes to some things and changed your picture of the world. Gave you wonderful memories or helped you find your life’s work.

And even if you loved him with unrequited love, he gave you very valuable experience. Thanks to him, you strived to become better. Thanks to him, you experienced such a range of feelings.

Focus on the good. Thank him for everything that happened between you. And for something that never happened.

Any relationship in our life is an experience. And it depends only on you whether this experience will be useful or not.

When it becomes necessary to forget the person you love

No more relationship

Your romance has run its course or never started. Your loved one has made it clear to you that he is not interested in continuing your communication. As a rule, you most often initiate contact, but the man rejects any of your proposals for a meeting or reluctantly agrees to them.

You are used, not loved

You understand that the person you love has a lot of reasons for not breaking up with you, but none of them have anything to do with love. You simply suit the chosen one according to some certain parameters, or he sees a certain benefit for himself in his relationship with you.

Forget if he's already with someone else

Despite your feelings, the young man has decided to start a relationship or stay with another woman. Given a choice, he chose not you. Even if he continues to write to you or look for meetings, you are still in second place for him.

Circumstances are against you

He lives in another country and does not see the opportunity to move to you, just as you cannot move to him.

He cheated on you, and now he can’t decide who to stay with.

You have completely different views on your future life and no one wants to give in to each other. It becomes clear that your breakup is only a matter of time.

Ideal5

So, now you need to find out why he captivated you so much. Why him? Why not the guy who tried so long and hard to get your attention?

Remember your first impression of him. Did he initially attract you, or did it happen gradually?

Remember how we talked about how any relationship is a valuable experience? Now we will try to turn a traumatic experience into a useful one.

Make a list of the qualities you like about him. Don't forget to also include some of his habits and mannerisms.

Now you have before your eyes an approximate list of what attracts you in men. “Handsome”, “confident”, “he has a good sense of humor” - this is not enough, think further.

“Can’t sit idle”, “knows what he wants from life”, “knows how to make money”, “an extrovert and the life of the party” - now you can work with this.

Phases of experiencing relationship loss

According to the American psychiatrist E. Kübler-Ross, no matter what emotions and experiences overcome the girl, she is destined to go through five stages of rehabilitation after a breakup in order to completely forget. A girl can experience similar emotions with initially unrequited love. Whether you like it or not, for full healing after a breakup you need to go through all the stages; you can’t skip through any of them. But everyone has the power to speed up the process.

1. Negation. Lack of desire to perceive reality, to take parting with the man you love seriously. The hope is that the guy will return, everything will return to normal.
2. Expression of feelings. A storm of emotions overcomes. Anger, pain, fear, despair. Giving free rein to your feelings means speeding up the healing process after a breakup. Don't be afraid. Emotions are a detector of your state of mind; they help you forget the man you love .
3. Dialogue, bargaining. Relationship scenarios are scrolled through, excluding separation. The girl figures out how to bring back, and not forget, the man she loves unrequitedly. He is trying to make a deal with his conscience, with his self-esteem.
4. Depression. It comes with full awareness that the breakup has happened, the ex has left forever. After a breakup, there is a feeling of despair - how to live on, is there any meaning.
5. Adoption. The girl gradually begins to realize that her ex-man should be forgotten
   . Life goes on. Bright thoughts replace dark ones, the world around us again plays with bright colors.

Each girl goes through the healing journey in her own way. How long each phase will last depends on the duration of the relationship, the degree of emotional attachment, and the reason for the breakup. When trying to forget the man you love , both a smooth and abrupt transition from one stage to another is possible. Sometimes, after completing a stage, you can return to the previous one.

Antihero of your novel6

Now remember his shortcomings. About those qualities that you simply could not put up with.

Now is the time to come down to earth and remember that your lover is far from perfect.

Here you have another list. The anti-top qualities of a guy that you are not ready to put up with under any circumstances. In this list, also include qualities that are not shortcomings as such, but are simply unbearable for you.

If it seems to you that he is absolute perfection, we have to disappoint you - you are seriously mistaken. Either he skillfully pretended, or you don’t know him at all and fell in love not with him, but with the ideal image that you created in your head.

Accept the fact that everything in this world is temporary

• Your object of adoration can always change . You need to understand the fact that months and years fly by, a person can change. He cannot remain the same person all the time. You yourself change throughout your life.
• It's the same with life . Everything in life is temporary and changes. There is nothing that remains unchanged. Everything has the end.
• People don't like it and resist it . People don't like it and don't want to face the fact that they can control everything. They cling to moments, to people.
• If you continue to cling , you will continue to lose and experience heaviness and bitterness. If you have already managed to find a good person for yourself, then you will succeed again.
• There's no reason why you can't create a new, strong relationship. Accept your journey called life as it comes. Thus, you will no longer need any psychological methods to force yourself to stop loving a person.

Self-development7

Right now. Don't wait for Monday, the first of January, or your birthday. Start changing your life for the better right now.

I bet while you were pining for this guy and shedding tears, your life slowly began to fall apart? It's time to fix it.

The word “self-development” is too loud and vast. It is frightening and disorienting. We need specifics. Make a list of everything that doesn't suit you at the moment. For each problem, select methods for solving it, indicating specific deadlines and adding subgoals.

Now more than ever you need new bright emotions. Set new goals, get yourself a new hobby. It sounds corny, but it works. There is no need to reinvent the wheel - you just need to competently use what humanity has already invented a long time ago.

Change of scenery9

Change your social circle, go on a trip, or have the courage to move to another place. Especially if everything around reminds you of him.

If you are an avid conservative, then you simply need such a shake-up. Visit new places, try new foods, read new books and watch new movies.

Speaking of films...