17 tips from a psychologist on how to stop loving someone you love very much, for a girl or guy

Hello all readers! Lyudmila Redkina is in touch, and in this article we’ll talk about hopelessness and the chance for love. I won't lie if I say that you want to be loved, right? Every person on the globe has a need for love. But, unfortunately, not everyone receives it in return. By the way, there is even evidence that the pain of a broken heart is similar to physical pain in terms of the state of neurons. For many, betrayal, the end of a relationship, or the death of a loved one is the end of life. This is how people live with constant pain and suffering. Today we’ll talk about how to stop loving a person who doesn’t love you, what to do so as not to feel suffering.

We find all the clues regarding the ex-partner

Hooks are certain actions and emotions that make you feel good, give you pleasure, and that you attach great importance to in your life.
The psychologist's first advice on how to stop loving someone you love very much is this: we find all the clues about your ex-person.

If you find all your clues that won’t let you go and make you think about the person, then your attachment to him will decrease.

Find as many of them as possible and remove all clues from your life!

To do this, ask yourself questions

What pleasant things did you receive from your partner?
What did you do for your partner that made you feel positive emotions or hear words of praise addressed to you?
What plans for the future have you made with your partner?
What were your expectations for him?
What special thing did you eat with him or did he cook for you that you had not tried before?
What did the person tell you that was so extraordinary and pleasant that you had never heard from anyone before?
What people and what cool places have you been with that made you feel better?

Answer the questions in writing and find all the clues to answer questions from psychology on the topic of how to stop loving a person who doesn’t love you and not experience the pain of separation and loss.

For example:

When I prepared delicious food for her, I heard very kind words addressed to me. This is a clue.
The woman thinks about how the guy hugged and touched her in a way that no one had ever done before.
Clues can be various declarations of love, words of sentimentality: “I have never had such a person,” “I feel very good with you,” “you are the love of my life,” and the like.
A big clue could be your tenderness and caresses that you gave to each other.

Find all the clues first. How to disable them will be written below in the article.

How to understand that there really are no feelings left

The only way is to understand yourself. This can be done independently or with a specialist.

According to psychologist Anna Smetannikova, sometimes the feeling that love has passed can be caused by accumulated and unspoken claims and emotions. It happens that a person is going through a period of crisis, is tired in general and spreads these feelings to his partner. It may seem that if it weren’t for your soulmate, life would have been completely different. And this makes you think that there is no more love. Finally, often the cause is a banal habit.

Andrey Smirnov

psychologist.

Often the feeling that you have fallen out of love appears when you have too close and too long contact with your partner. When people live together for a long time, they get used to each other and may not notice the good things that exist. As they say, what we have, we don’t keep; when we lose, we cry. This is a very true and vital statement.

Therefore, when thinking about it, you need to take grievances and conflicts out of the equation and decide whether the feelings have really faded away. Here are a few signs by which you can recognize this:

You no longer want to spend time with your partner. You have little interest in everything connected with him.
When you think about the future, there is no place for a partner, at least in the optimistic scenario.
You feel worse with a partner than without him, or at least simply no better than alone.
It seems to you that there is nothing more to expect from this relationship.
You notice all the weaknesses and shortcomings of your partner and are not ready to forgive them. At the same time, you meet his efforts with indifference.
When you think that your partner will stop loving you or meet someone else and leave, you experience joy and a sense of relief.
You meet quarrels with indifference and irritation, you no longer make efforts to get around sharp corners and not offend.
You feel sorry for wasting time, money, and mental strength on your partner.

A Deeper Understanding of Sensational Attachment

Many people become attached to the feelings of intimacy that their partner gave you in bed.

Your memories are connected with the sensations that your partner gave you:

tactile pleasures;
touching;
tenderness and warmth;
energy.

Feelings are not the most important thing in life, don’t attach much importance to them. They are all temporary and give only temporary pleasure.

All people blindly chase after sensations and fall into an endless wheel of suffering. Then worries begin about how to stop loving a person who doesn’t love you.

Look soberly at reality.

Get rid of everything in your home that makes you think about her/him.

What in the home can reinforce addiction?:

gifts from an ex;
his clothes;
general music and files on the computer;
joint videos and photographs;
all sorts of disks and other, at first glance, little things.

Sometimes it’s enough to see, look, hear (and sometimes smell) how memories quickly come rushing back.

Get rid of it all. Or hide it somewhere in the attic, out of sight.

Let's look at my example

While cleaning my house, I once came across a lens from my ex-girlfriend.

She removed lenses at my home when she stayed with me overnight. Immediately there were pictures in my head and warm memories of the moments together.

Such things need to be found and thrown away immediately.

I removed all things that reminded me of her from my sight in order to close questions on the topic of how to stop loving a girl who doesn’t love you and not think about her anymore.

Psychologists' opinions on feelings of love and affection

There are many stereotypes in society. For example, from childhood, girls are instilled with the idea that a man should seek her hand and heart, like a fairy-tale knight. And many guys expect unquestioning obedience from girls in relationships - for the stronger sex this is often proof of love.

How to understand that a person really loves you? Psychologists say that all people are different, and the manifestation of feelings is purely individual. A notorious egoist and a compassionate altruist with experience cannot love equally. Character traits leave a serious imprint on manifestations of affection.

So how can you tell if a particular person loves you? Psychologists recommend paying attention to the following points in your partner’s behavior:

Plans are being made for the future with your participation. Simply sympathy does not give reasons to think about trips, weddings and children. If they regularly make it clear to you that they are looking forward to a future together, then the person is clearly serious. This is love, right?
Attention and care are shown not only in words. How to understand that you are not being deceived, but truly loved? When a person constantly inquires about your affairs and health, it seems that he is thereby showing serious feelings. Is it really? Of course, everyone appreciates the attention. But is it complemented by real actions? If you are sick, then a loving person will not only ask about your well-being, but will also come with medicine even at one in the morning and cook you chicken broth.
Respect and loyalty are common signs of love. If they love you, they not only try to get attention at any cost, but also show respect. Your opinion is valued and taken into account, not insulted and sometimes tolerated. Loyalty is an integral part of deep feeling. Otherwise, why do you need love at all, when you can switch to someone else at any moment?

Each person has his own idea of love. How do you understand that someone has fallen in love with you? Pay attention to your actions and caring attitude, and listen to your heart. The superficial tinsel of compliments, gifts and loud words is a wrapper. Your job is to discern the essence of a person and his true intentions.

How to Silence the Restless Mind and Inner Voice That Make You Suffer

Write answers to the following questions in writing

What negative and painful emotions and states will you continue to experience with your partner if you do not break the connection now?
How will your life change for the better when the person is no longer with you? What will you gain, how will you feel?
How painful will your life be if you continue to be in a relationship with this partner?
If I lived a 10/10 ideal life (where I have everything in order in my personal life, my finances, I have an abundance of choice and am happy), then what would I do?

For each question, list and find as many answers as possible. Write them in list form.

It is very important to do this in writing, regardless of your gender, to remove worries and thoughts about how to stop loving a person who does not want or need you.

Nuances

Write down the answers as thoroughly, deeply and in detail as possible!
After that, every time the mind again begins to remind you of the person, makes you suffer, you open this list in front of you.
A list with answers will shut your mind and remind it of why you don't need the person.
The mind will simply lag behind with its restless thoughts, because the list with answers directly tells it how bad you are now with your partner and how it will be even worse if everything continues.
The next time you remember a person, keep your list with the answers nearby.