How to apologize to someone who has been greatly offended? Examples of apologies to mom, girlfriend, colleague, friend.

It's great to have loved ones in your life. Knowing that there are friends and family who care about you and who can always support you in difficult times, a person has a feeling of security and need. But, as often happens, we offend the people we care about most often than others. Where we can restrain ourselves in front of strangers, in the presence of our relatives this is not always possible. And the question arises: how to ask for forgiveness from loved ones correctly?

Squeezing out “Forgive me” is very difficult. If you do nothing and leave everything as it is, then the tension in the relationship will grow. Thinking that over time everything will work out on its own is wrong, because this is an indicator of immaturity. It is easier to respect and trust a person who admits his mistakes. But how can you ask for forgiveness from your beloved girl, from your dad and mom, from your sister or best friend?

There is no statute of limitations for an apology.

You need to apologize immediately after you realize that you did something wrong.
And it doesn’t matter how much time has passed since your action - a week, a month or a year. You can never be sure that at the same time the person you offended or upset is not waiting for your humble “sorry.” Sometimes admitting you're wrong can bring you back a good friend or improve your relationship with a family member, which is really worth a lot. And it will be useful for you yourself to throw off the feeling of guilt and finally live a normal life. People who know how to admit when they are wrong and ask for forgiveness have a much easier time than those who need to expend enormous effort for one sincere apology.

Apologize on time. Then the error will be completely impossible to correct.

Don't put it off until later. The longer you take to resolve or discuss the situation, the worse it will be, as the worry about miscommunication will last longer. The damage to others may be irreparable. Experts say it's not the bug itself that's important, but how it was fixed.

Why is it hard to apologize?

We can talk at length about the benefits of asking for forgiveness. Prepare a speech in poetry or beg him. All this is useless if you don't have the right attitude. The difficulty is this:

Pride and selfishness can become an obstacle to reconciliation. It is pride that makes a person think: “Why me? He is also wrong." Everyone is waiting for the first step from the other, and resentment can develop into hatred. To break this vicious circle, you need to calm down and analyze what you did wrong and how you can correct the situation. The quality of humility will help with this. Is it unfashionable now? Yes, many people think so, but we are talking about relationships with loved ones. The majority opinion should not affect your decisions. There is no shame in admitting that you are wrong; your family and friends will appreciate it.
Education also plays a significant role. If as a child you did not hear the words “sorry” from your dad and mom, then this will be difficult for you too. This requires awareness of this fact and work on yourself. Try to “step on” yourself once and apologize, you will feel light in your soul and in your relationships. Next time asking for forgiveness will not be difficult. Come up with an apology in verse, this will help smooth out the tension.
The right infusion. How necessary it is. Often people think: “If I ask for forgiveness, then I will make it clear that I am guilty and show my weakness.” This opinion is wrong. Agree, at least two people are involved in a quarrel. Do you want to say that you didn’t say too much or didn’t show disdain with your icy silence? You yourself know that there is a share of your fault.

What is the right thing to do when apologizing? Options for various techniques

Take responsibility. Avoid excuses like “I didn’t mean that” or “why were you offended, it was a joke.” Research says that when we are honest, we can avoid depression and anxiety. Saying something like, “I'm ashamed that I said that,” or “I'm sad that I hurt you,” can ease some of the person's distress in this situation. Be gentle with people.

Feel the other person's pain. You need to choose the right time to apologize. So as not to make things worse with your words. Start apologizing after the person is ready.

It is also useless to argue about who has the correct version. After all, each of you will remain with your own opinion. You can say this: “The words I said were not pleasant, and I understand why you upset me.” Then you can move directly to the words of apology.

Be sincere during the apology process! Be sure that the justification comes from the heart. Avoid ready-made phrases like “forgive me if it hurts you.” This expression may seem too superficial to be heard. Don't send messages or emails at first. Body and facial language and tone of voice are lost in writing. Always prefer to apologize in person. If this is not possible, then just call.

Focus on the victim's reaction

“I’m sorry that you were upset because of my words...”

And again the unwillingness to take responsibility. There is no regret or sympathy on the part of the offender. But there is an attempt to shift the focus to the reaction of the one to whom he is apologizing. It looks very generous: they say, I didn’t do anything special, but since you’re so sensitive and upset, then so be it, I’ll ask for forgiveness.

Human emotions are a reaction to words or actions. They may seem excessive to the offender, but the victim is already experiencing these feelings, and they must be taken into account.

An apology must be backed up by actions.

The moment you apologize to the person, only half the job is done. The second half is reinforcing the apology with your actions so that the person cannot doubt your determination to change the situation.

It's simple: if you apologized to someone for your emotional incontinence and temper, learn to control yourself; apologized for the deception - try not to lie to the person in the future. If your apologies remain only words, but in reality you continue to behave the same way, you are worthless. Next time, don't be surprised if the person doesn't want anything to do with you.

Promises that you won't keep again

How to apologize

Depending on the situation, different media are used to ask for forgiveness.
To choose a method of apology, one starts from the reasons.

If required by assignment or requirements, then you need to apologize at the very beginning of the request. A phone call or email is suitable for this purpose.
If a misunderstanding occurred during personal communication, you can apologize after a while by meeting face to face with the person again or sending him an SMS message.
If certain requirements are delayed or not met, it is worth sending a business letter.

When is a business apology needed?

Staying silent in response to complaints is one of the biggest mistakes. Even if the client’s claims are not justified, it is unacceptable to ignore them. Most business leaders consider improving customer service a top priority.

An apology is made if the actions of the organization caused inconvenience to the client or partner or caused harm. That is, when the client has lost money, time, good mood. It is especially important to apologize if the situation threatens to cause serious reputational damage to the company.

Business specialization determines the most common reasons for apologies. Thus, online stores ask for forgiveness for slow delivery or delay of ordered goods (I take this opportunity to say hello to one of these online stores). B2B companies apologize for poor customer service. For mobile operators and banks, the cause of the conflict may be hidden fees and unforeseen expenses of the client. It annoys everyone.

The modern consumer is attentive to the quality of goods and services, so almost all companies operating in the field of trade and services need to be able to write letters of apology for the low quality of the product.

A reason that does not depend on the field of activity is failure to fulfill the terms of the contract and assumed obligations. Even if this happened for reasons beyond the company’s control: a hurricane, an earthquake, a coup d’etat. Explain this and apologize.

How to Apologize to a Friend or Family Member

If you do not want to lose friendships or family connections, then you should begin conciliatory actions as quickly as possible. Not taking action is a disastrous tactic that jeopardizes your relationship with your loved one. Here are tips on how to apologize:

Admit your mistake. Say you messed up and want to apologize.
Tell us how you plan to correct the current situation.
Make it clear that you will not say or act like that again. Not only do you need to say it, but you also need to be prepared to keep your word.
Sincerely ask for forgiveness.
Remind your loved one that you value your relationship with them. Such a statement will never be superfluous.

Example of an apology to a family member

Dear sister, I am very sorry that I criticized you about your children's behavior. It was rude and unfair of me. Now I understand that I shouldn't have done that.

I would like to make amends. Come join me with the whole family for a board game evening. I will be glad to see you and will greatly enjoy your company.

I hope that you can forgive me. You are part of me and I don’t want to lose you and our closeness. I'll call you in a couple of days. I want to leave my mistake in the past and move on with my life.

Example of an apology to a friend

Dear Anna, I feel terrible about what happened. I'm sorry that I took your favorite scarf without asking and lost it. I shouldn't have done that.

I hope that you can find the strength to forgive me and agree to accept a gift from me. This is a new scarf and a certificate for purchase in an accessories store.

In the future, if I want to borrow something from you, I will ask permission first. I hope you will forgive me for my recklessness. You are the best friend I could only dream of. I would like to regain your trust and atone for my guilt.

Content

How to ask for forgiveness correctly so that you will be forgiven afterwards
Examples of apologies
How to improve relationships if you quarrel
With a friend
With a loved man
How to ask a girl for forgiveness
How to ask a guy for forgiveness
With parents
Rules: what else is important to consider besides words of forgiveness
Why might you not be taken seriously or sincerely and reject your apology?
Errors
How are the phrases you say when asking for forgiveness perceived?

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How to apologize to your mother and make peace

Here are the basic tips on how best to do this:

The best option would be to apologize in person. It may be a difficult and unpleasant conversation, but it's better than texting or emailing. This will show your sincerity.

Speak calmly, respectfully and clearly. You can start like this: “I'm sorry I upset you. I should have paid more attention to algebra so I wouldn't get a D on the test. I'm ashamed and I promise to study harder to improve and get only good grades. I hope you forgive me."
If mom is angry, it’s better to wait and approach her later when she calms down. But don’t delay, if a lot of time has passed since the quarrel, it may seem that you don’t care.
Do not argue during a showdown, do not shout or interrupt.
Don't be insolent or ignore her. Your mother wants only the best for you, worries about your safety and wants to raise you to be a good person.
Don't make excuses. Making excuses makes your words seem insincere because they are trying to shift the blame onto circumstances or someone else. It is worth admitting that you were wrong if you want to earn forgiveness. For example, you shouldn’t say: “I lied because you wouldn’t let me spend the night with a friend anyway.” It's better to say, "I know what I did was wrong, I'm really sorry."
Agree to the punishment for your wrongdoing.
Ask your grandma, dad, or siblings for support. Perhaps they can talk to your mom and ask her to forgive you.
Do not lie. Lying (even if it seems like it is for the good) will only aggravate the situation and cause you unnecessary trouble, upsetting and angering your mother even more. If you lied, the lie will still be revealed sooner or later, it’s better to admit it and explain why you did that.

A short apology to your mother from your daughter in your own words

Mom, mommy, I ask you very much - forgive me. I'm very sorry for you. I never thought that I would offend you so much. I'm very embarrassed. You are my dear loved one, I shouldn’t have done this.

Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I apologize. Bowing my head, I ask you not to hold a grudge against me. Not everything in life works out in the best way and the way you want. So it didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I'm sorry, I'm very sad that this happened. Let all the clouds of misunderstanding go away, and the sun of warm relationships shine brighter than before!

Dear Mom, once again I feel guilty and don’t look up. It's very, very embarrassing. Darling, forgive me, forgive me quickly all my sins!

Your warmth has enveloped me since childhood, Your care, affection, wise advice! I'm sorry that I was irresponsible at times, I didn't set my priorities correctly... No one can replace you, Mommy, Your big heart can accommodate everyone! You have become my luminary for me, That brightly illuminates my path in life...

Each of us makes mistakes in our lives, but not everyone is able to admit them. I admit and sincerely apologize for them: this is very important to me now. I know it’s not easy to forgive... But forgiveness is the skill of strong people, and I know for sure that you are a strong and fair person. I promise I won't repeat my mistake and won't cause pain. I'm sorry, please!

I admit my guilt, I hope for forgiveness. I swear, from now on I will change, Bad behavior. I promise that everything will be fine now. Just be able to believe me with both your heart and soul.

I am very sorry for the rude words I said to you. I didn’t want to hurt your heart, but I ended up doing it in the heat of the moment. I deeply and sincerely admit my guilt and apologize for all the unpleasant words and actions towards you. I realize how unpleasant and painful it is for you. Forgive me please. Let stupid and meaningless words fly away from your head without leaving a trace.

Love, friendship, support, mutual understanding, kindness and warmth - these are the basic values of a person. I would like to apologize for all the unsaid words, for all the missed opportunities to make you a little happier. Sorry, I will definitely correct myself... And may everything be fine from this day forward!

Humans tend to make mistakes. And man, alas, is weak. But if something is done wrong, the most important thing is to realize, admit and apologize. Being able to forgive is also important. After all, when one side apologizes and the other forgives, there comes mutual understanding, relief, and peace reigns in the soul. Please accept my sincere apologies for the mistakes made and unfair words.

Social media

Social networks have a little more options than SMS. Here are a few options on how to do this:

Record a video and post it on her page.
Create a group and ask your friends to leave comments in it so that you can be forgiven. Then send her an invitation to this group.
Use all kinds of postcard apps. There are special ones on this topic.
There are even groups created on social networks in which others share their experiences of how they apologized.
Post a status on your page with touching words or poems.

In general, use all the possibilities of the Internet. Social networks are probably needed to help each other.

Beautiful apologies to a girl

My lies may have been the dark clouds, but your forgiveness will be the stars and the sun in our relationship. I beg your pardon.

If you don’t see the tears in my eyes, then I beg you to at least feel the pain in my heart. I am sorry.
It's sad that your love so kind was spoiled by my selfish mind. It's sad that your so selfless love had to deal with all this mess. And now, ironically, my regret and grief are seen as fake. Tell me, what do I need to do to make you believe in the sincerity of my apology? I'm ready to do it.
My dishonest mind made the mistake of lying to you. But my heart and soul are forever devoted to love only for you. Therefore, I ask for your forgiveness.
Before you forgive me, I want you to hug me and put your hand on my heart. Maybe you'll feel it tearing apart. Because my actions caused you pain. But with every blow you will hear the words “excuse me.”
I'm sorry! Let's move from anger or resentment to love and communication, if you are ready to accept my apology. (We recommend reading ways on how you can successfully manage your anger and irritation).
I am ready to apologize to you in front of all my friends and family. And even publish your apology on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Vkontakte. So that everyone knows how sorry I am for offending you.

Apologizing to a girl in your own words

When you say your apologies, speak in your own words, but sincerely, from the heart, and then such words are more readily believed. Below you will find several examples of such apologies. (You can read more about how to properly ask for an apology from your girlfriend by following the link).

I never wanted to be indifferent and remain on the sidelines. I'm sorry that my behavior has made you feel like we're drifting apart. My behavior was stupid, but my love for you is the greatest proof of my bitter regret about what happened. Please, if you can forgive me, please forgive me.
I know that you want to leave because you are tired of me. But I won't rest until I finally see you. I understand that you want to live separately, because after our quarrels you feel sick. But I won't rest until I do everything right. And I won’t make amends so that you can forgive me.
Forgiveness is an integral part of being in a relationship as intimate as ours. Please accept my apology, bringing an end to these painful hours for both of us. I beg your pardon.
I repent of my mistakes and howl in pain. Because I’m worried that if you don’t forgive me, my whole life will be in vain.
I remember you once said that you would do anything for me. All I ask today is that you accept my apology. I made a mistake, but I promise not to let this happen to you again, please forgive me.

SMS apology to the girl for the offense caused

I'm sorry about what happened. I fully admit that this is only my fault, so I want to do everything to correct my mistake. Because I love you! And the last thing I want to see is you suffering because of me.
I have never forgotten you, but now I apologize for the harm I did to you. I want to light up your smile again where I turned it off. Allow yourself to restore your heart.
I really don't want our story to end in a misunderstanding. Therefore, I am ready to compensate for my apologies not only with words, but also to shower you with kisses. Because I love you too much to lose you.
Life is like a book, where every day is one page, clearly different from the other. Each of us has pages that he would like to tear up and throw away, but this is prohibited! Instead, we can take the pen of the heart and the power of love to begin to write a new chapter together, if you forgive me. (I advise you to read interesting proverbs about the meaning of human life).
I know that when you hurt the person you love most, there are hardly words that can correct this mistake. That's why I'm not going to apologize just for the words, but I want to apologize for the facts. Little everyday facts, if you give me the opportunity to apologize to you.
Forgive me for the harm I brought to your heart. I hope you will forgive me and erase from your memory the day when I offended you, even if it is marked with indelible ink. Of course, there is no excuse for my actions, but I will continue to hope for your forgiveness.
I can't forget you, it's too difficult for me. I should hate myself for the evil I did to you, but I hate even more that I don’t know how to write a beautiful apology to the girl I love in my own words. Sorry to write to you about this, but it's true. Please understand me and stop hating!

An apology to the girl in your own words for rudeness and pain caused

In this part of the article you will find the right words to ask for reconciliation in front of a girl! Among them, undoubtedly, there will be the most suitable phrase that can break the tension that was created by your rudeness and insult to your beloved girl.

For me, you will forever remain the only person I love. Can you excuse me for being rude to you? Now I realized that my behavior was stupid and unworthy of your good attitude towards me. Despite this, I managed to offend you, for which I apologize.
I had no intention of hurting you. But it seems that circumstances intended to make you feel that I did it. Please forgive me for hurting you with my rash actions. I really regret this.
I know that I offended you when I spoke rudely and showered your love with insults. But I will do everything to make amends and bring back your smile. I beg you to just sit down with me, look at me, and listen to my apologies. It seems to me that as soon as you see my repentance, you will forgive me. I apologize to you.
I feel bad because you're sad. I feel guilty for the pain I caused you, after which you began to doubt me. I'm sorry, please forgive me. (I'm sure you'll like tips on how you can quickly cheer yourself up when sadness makes you feel bad?)
I hurt you with my actions. And you hurt me by not forgiving me. Please, let's start all over again and, first of all, with my apology to you.
I'm sorry I cursed so much. Unfortunately, I didn’t think that it could cause you such pain and hurt your feelings. Now this mistake is costing me dearly. But I assure you that love for you is all I tried to show from the very beginning.
I was a little drunk when I said all those nasty words. I'm sorry, but my judgment was completely blurred. I hope you can forgive my senseless outburst. I never wanted to appear before you like this. Please excuse me.

For those who are not ready to ask for forgiveness!

“Darling, follow the voice of common sense, not anger...”
“Maximum remedium irae mora est,” Eugene, be angry, but do not sin.”
“Alexandra, will you.., transfer your anger to mercy! Let’s rather light the fire of strong friendship than look at the ashes of enmity.”

And in conclusion, remember: in order to learn to forgive yourself, learn not to be offended!

Why might you not be taken seriously or sincerely and reject your apology?

You are not serious

To ensure that your apology is taken seriously, it is better to choose the right environment for it. If you mutter, “So, are we friends again?” while bursting into laughter at a party, your words are unlikely to be taken seriously. It’s better to choose a place where you can explain yourself in a quiet environment, showing your feelings.

You are insincere

If you do not admit your guilt, your words will sound insincere. The opponent will treat them with distrust. He will think that you have no intention of apologizing and will only become angrier. An effective apology must address the feelings and needs of the offended person.

You are not sure of your words

You don’t understand your mistake, but you are trying to somehow improve the relationship. Most often it looks like this: “Forgive me, but I don’t know what I did.” The use of words such as “but” and “if” makes the addressee take them lightly.

Wrong time

An apology won't work if you shout out that you're sorry during an argument. You won't be heard or taken seriously if you're still arguing. This is because when a person experiences negativity, they will not listen to you. Therefore, it is better for you to wait until you both calm down.

Forgiveness via SMS

You are unlikely to be received sincerely if you apologize via SMS. If you meet in person, you are more likely to be forgiven. This way you can convey your feelings not only through words, but also through facial expressions and gestures.

Trying to hush up the conflict

"Sorry, and let's forget about it."

Apologies don't work like the neutralizer from Men in Black. They do not erase the offense and its consequences. It’s one thing when a victim’s foot is stepped on—it’s usually easy to forget about it. And when the offender stepped on his foot and broke it before an important sporting competition, this incident will probably come to mind more than once.

And that's okay. One person messed up quite a bit, although he didn’t do it on purpose (I’d like to think so). And the second one can experience a whole range of feelings, periodically slipping into anger and despair. So we need to give him time to accept the situation.

What should I do if it’s not my fault and I have nothing to apologize for?

If you feel like you shouldn't apologize, there are 2 options. Or you have not yet realized that your actions caused pain to someone (which happens most often). Or you are being manipulated.

There are situations when it is really not your fault. The person who is demonstrably offended by you (usually a friend, spouse or relative) is trying to get something from you. This kind of resentment is called manipulative. It is often resorted to by small children or adults stuck in childhood. Signs of manipulative resentment:

A person is offended by you literally every day.
As a pledge of forgiveness, he tries to beg for an expensive gift, or to ask for a difficult service.
Money/services/favors become a source of solving your conflicts.

Any person from your environment can be a manipulator. We wrote more about this in the article on psychological effects.

Sources

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