How to apologize to your mother if you seriously offended her. How to make peace with your mother

A mother is the most dear and beloved person on earth who loves her children for nothing and always forgives them. But despite this, we must also learn to ask for forgiveness from our mothers!

Making mistakes is the common nature of all people. Yes, each of us has had at least once a case when we hurt our mother in a bad mood and did something that should not have been done. But for this there is forgiveness in our lives! And mothers are the original proof of this. Although sometimes the wound is really serious. But if you offended your dearest person, then don’t be late to apologize to your mom! Although there is no need to lie - we always have something to thank and ask for forgiveness for! And we will help you with this by choosing the right words.

How to ask your mother for forgiveness?

The best way to apologize is to open your heart to your mother and repent. Every mother, even a very offended and angry one, loves her child deep down. The reluctance to forgive in most cases is caused by the desire to teach a lesson, to make them realize their mistake and reconsider their behavior.

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In order for your mother to forgive, you need to not only apologize, but also explain what made you commit the offense. Even if these are not entirely pure thoughts and intentions, the main thing for the mother is that you were able to recognize them. Learn this lesson and try not to repeat the mistake again. Ask your mother for advice on how she thinks she can prevent such situations and conflicts. This will help you get closer and restore trust.

How to make peace depending on the nature of the conflict

Quarrels are different, just like the characters of mothers. If standard advice is not suitable or does not work, then you need to look for an individual approach. Let's look at the most common conflicts between mothers and children:

1. Strong quarrel, lies, bad deeds. Obviously, the matter is serious, so it is better not to hope for quick forgiveness and resolution of the situation. Apologize to your mother and offer to correct what you did. For example, if not only she became aware of the lie, admit your guilt to this person and tell the truth. Start helping out more around the house to show how much you value your relationship. Gradually your mother's heart will soften and she will forgive you.
2. If it's your fault. Even the most shameful act must be recognized. This will determine whether you can overcome the challenge and change for the better, or whether your reputation will be tarnished. Perceive the situation as a disease that needs to be cured by taking a bitter pill (confess and ask for forgiveness).
3. If it's mom's fault. Sometimes a guy or girl thinks that they are being punished unfairly. For example, that they were delayed on the street. Mothers, in turn, justify even unnecessarily cruel punishment, scolding, by the need to protect and protect. Obviously, in such a situation, both sides are wrong. However, it is harder for adults to apologize because they are afraid of losing authority. To resolve the conflict, you should say something like this: “I’m sorry that this happened. I understand your feelings, it’s very unpleasant for me too. Let’s make peace and try not to let this happen again.”
4. She doesn't want to talk. Don't insist on talking. Most likely, the mother withdraws from communication so as not to say too much. Give her time to cool down and think about the situation soberly. At this time, do something useful, offer your help in everyday life, think about how you will improve. After a while, come back with an apology.

It is important to understand that mom is the same person, with her own shortcomings and cockroaches in her head. You don't need to demand too much from her. Try to accept her as she is, albeit hot-tempered, even strict, a little unfair. There are no perfect people. Look for compromises - this is the key to a good relationship.

What to do if you didn’t manage to make peace the first time

• Write a letter. Just it shouldn’t be an SMS or an email. Write it down on paper. Words must be written carefully. You can attach your drawing to the letter if you think you are good at drawing. For example, there might be an apology from a daughter like this to her mother: “Dear mom, I understand that you are upset because I made a mess in the room. I know that the house must be clean, and you spend a lot of time cleaning. I promise to keep it clean from now on and help you with cleaning. I love you very much and I hope that you forgive me. With love, your daughter."
• There may be an apology in prose, or you can try to come up with a poem. You don't have to be a great poet to come up with an apologetic quatrain.
• Arrange a surprise. Surely you know what your mother likes. If you know she loves apple pie, have a tea party for her and try to talk, admit mistakes and ask for forgiveness. It’s unlikely that mom will be able to resist.
• Understand that sometimes forgiveness takes time.

How to calm your mother when she swears and cries

Talk to her calmly

If your mother has come to tears, then you probably understand that she is really very upset and it is not easy for her to cope with the situation emotionally. Answering her in a similar tone is unlikely to improve the situation. Answer calmly, but this calmness should be sympathetic, but not indifferent or distant. Perhaps mom needs to speak out - don’t try to interrupt her. However, during pauses, choose the most necessary words that suit the situation.

Hug, kiss

However, more often than not, upset mothers need more than just words, but to improve their relationship with their child. She is unlikely to pull away if you hug or kiss her in a moment of emotional weakness. However, even if this happens, and she brushes aside your expressions of tenderness, do not even doubt that her soul will become much easier, and with your gesture you will only improve the situation.

Say that you appreciate and love him very much

It is important for a mother to hear words of love from her child - such confessions are never superfluous! It often seems to parents that their children do not appreciate all the sacrifices they make for their children, or do not even notice them. Perhaps there is also such a problem in your relationship with your mother? Tell your mom that you see how much she does for you and really appreciate her efforts.

Get creative

You can come up with so many ways to beautifully apologize to your mother. Stretch your imagination, and something unusual will definitely come to mind.

For example, you can record a staged video in which you turn your whole soul inside out and tell how bad your words are now. Don't forget to tell your mom how dear and loved she is to you. Set it with beautiful background music.

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If you have non-conflict neighbors in your yard, then you can use this option: draw your apology on the road in front of the house. It would be nice if the windows looked directly onto this place, and mom could see everything right away. Words should be readable and beautifully designed. If you are good at drawing, you can even try to draw graffiti.

Poets, in moments of sadness and melancholy, take up a piece of paper and sometimes create real masterpieces. Dare you too! Perhaps you do not have the gift of poetry and do not know how to write huge poems, but this is not required - everyone can come up with at least four lines. This is another good way to apologize to your mother. Mommy will definitely be surprised by your creative abilities and will instantly forgive everything.

Honor your parents

The past can both take energy from us and give us strength. If you have unforgiven grievances or feelings of guilt for having offended someone, then you are probably having problems in the present. The people who symbolize the past for us are our parents. If you are offended by them for something and cannot forgive them, then the energy support of your family and the Universe is closed. This can affect your children too. For example, if in your family grievances against men are repeated from generation to generation, then the flow of male energy stops and, as a result, success in many activities is impossible; Women’s personal lives do not work out; diseases appear that are localized on the right side of the body.

Buddha said that even if we serve our parents all our lives, we will not have enough time to repay our debt to them. If you feel like your parents are living wrong, remember that they gave you life. We are given the parents we deserve, and those who are best suited for working out karmic tasks. In Russia, respect for parents has been eradicated for many years.

It was believed that in order to serve the homeland one could abandon one’s relatives. But this is disrespect for the family. Many of us think that our parents are too conservative and do not accept new knowledge. But think about what many religions say: “Honor your father and mother.” Honor them without any strings attached!

Why is it hard to apologize?

We can talk at length about the benefits of asking for forgiveness. Prepare a speech in poetry or beg him. All this is useless if you don't have the right attitude. The difficulty is this:

• Pride and selfishness can become an obstacle to reconciliation. It is pride that makes a person think: “Why me? He is also wrong." Everyone is waiting for the first step from the other, and resentment can develop into hatred. To break this vicious circle, you need to calm down and analyze what you did wrong and how you can correct the situation. The quality of humility will help with this. Is it unfashionable now? Yes, many people think so, but we are talking about relationships with loved ones. The majority opinion should not affect your decisions. There is no shame in admitting that you are wrong; your family and friends will appreciate it.
• Education also plays a significant role. If as a child you did not hear the words “sorry” from your dad and mom, then this will be difficult for you too. This requires awareness of this fact and work on yourself. Try to “step on” yourself once and apologize, you will feel light in your soul and in your relationships. Next time asking for forgiveness will not be difficult. Come up with an apology in verse, this will help smooth out the tension.
• The right infusion. How necessary it is. Often people think: “If I ask for forgiveness, then I will make it clear that I am guilty and show my weakness.” This opinion is wrong. Agree, at least two people are involved in a quarrel. Do you want to say that you didn’t say too much or didn’t show disdain with your icy silence? You yourself know that there is a share of your fault.

Why is it important to accept and forgive parents?

The feeling of unconditional love and acceptance of parents play an important role. You can suffer and be offended by your parents all your life. You can refuse, ignore them, hide your feelings and believe that in this way we will close the issue and problem.

Not forgiving is a freedom of choice that everyone has. But think about why you need this burden that you voluntarily carry, and sometimes review for valuable grievances and memories. Hatred, pain and anger at parents block the source of unconditional love. And with it your happy life.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting grievances... because when the opportunity arises, they will be remembered! Forgiveness does not mean accepting what was done to you! To forgive is to FOREVER let go of the pain from your heart and free your soul from stones to let in the healing energy of love and wisdom!

It’s easy to offend a person, but it’s difficult to return to your previous kind-hearted relationship with him. Don’t offend mothers; most likely, we ourselves are to blame for something (and to a large extent). Let us be more careful towards the one who rocked us in the cradle, sang songs, taught us to walk. Let’s not take out our negative mood on a loved one.

Demonstrative silence

Sit in the corner of the room, take a sullen pose and a hostile expression on your face, and with your eyes send offended glances at your parents... This is also not the best tactic in a quarrel. Yes, this “war” can go on forever - a day or two, and then you yourself won’t like it, because in this way you won’t achieve what you want, but will only worsen the situation in the family.

The worst thing is that other family members may suffer - brothers, sisters, grandparents and even pets - cats, dogs, rabbits... Often, two sides try to find allies in these people. Imagine this situation: you quarreled with your mother, told your younger sister about it, who shared the news with her grandfather, who did not share your opinion. And poor Tuzik becomes the last one - the favorite of the family, because both you, grandfather, and mother want to take a walk with him, but because of your conflicts, no one can decide who will do this task. Who benefits from this?

When you need specialist help

If you are overwhelmed with emotions, if self-support techniques that you read on the Internet do not work, if resentment towards your mother ruins your life, communication with relatives has become very difficult, you can turn to a psychologist for help.
A specialist will help you get out of the emotional hole. Not everyone can cope with this on their own - and there is no shame in asking for help. We don’t endure toothache forever. There is no reason to endure mental pain either. Healthy? Join my group on VKontakte: You can also find me on FB, LiveJournal and Telegram:

Be proactive and show respect

If you have done something wrong, you must be the first to take the initiative, without waiting for an incentive from your parents. What needs to be done for this?

1. Give mom and dad a gift that shows how much you regret what you did.
2. Call them for a frank conversation and be the first to take the floor, explaining the reason for your own action.
3. Admit your guilt not only in word, but also in deed.
4. If relatives do not talk to each other, you should be the first to get in touch, call or write.

Asking for forgiveness is equally difficult for both a girl and a guy. To do this, you need to step over your own pride and admit that you are wrong. However, by showing initiative now, a person will show his maturity and sincerity.

Think about the situation and sincerely apologize once and for all.

Usually, parents are very reluctant to forgive a child who has repeatedly broken his own promises. For example, having once stolen money from a family, a person apologizes to his relatives. Mom and Dad forgive him, but a week later the problem repeats itself. Next time, loved ones will not show such humanism. They will forgive a person with great reluctance.

So the best way to achieve forgiveness is to think carefully about the situation and try to never get into it again.

It is also very important to acknowledge your wrongdoing and apologize sincerely. Falsehood and lies are always felt. This is why sometimes parents say that they are not ready to forgive their precious child. One word “sorry,” spoken sincerely, is sometimes more important than an entire ballad spoken just like that.

What not to do: warnings and ultimatums

Quite often, children try to go all-in and give their parents ultimatums. They say they will leave home just to get an apology. This position is fundamentally wrong, since it does not imply repentance. Resolving the conflict from a position of strength will lead to its deepening in the future.

What other way should you not seek forgiveness?

1. There is no need to try to buy parental forgiveness. Money will not help in this situation.
2. Getting drunk out of grief is also not the best option, as it will even better show the parents the child’s inadequacy.
3. There is no need to scream with foam at the mouth, proving your opinion and demanding immediate forgiveness.
4. You should not speak in memorized phrases that do not smell of sincerity.

The main difference between using it with parents and apologizing to friends or your girlfriend is that mom and dad will definitely forgive their child. Their love is limitless, and the only thing that is required from the person himself is to realize his guilt and choose the right words.

Galina, Irkutsk

How to apologize to a friend

There is no friendship without a showdown. Only a true friend will not let you do something stupid, he will stop you, even at the cost of friendship.

Apologizing means saving the relationship. But how to apologize is a rhetorical question. Not all actions deserve forgiveness; sometimes they lead to a break in relationships. This is why the apology must be sincere. You should ask for an apology without pride, with all your heart.

Important!!! To be honest. Explain the reason for the action. This is the only way to restore trust.

How to behave when you apologize.

Eye to eye, this is the tactic that allows your interlocutor to believe that you are not lying. This is how you can see a friend’s reaction to an apology. If his eyes have become kinder, then he will forgive. But if suddenly in the process he looked away, it means that the act does not deserve forgiveness. Apparently you did something that really offended you. It takes time to be forgiven.

What not to do when apologizing.

In no case can you say that you are not the only one to blame. That he provoked you with his behavior to such an act. Such a conversation will be the end of friendship.*** “Admit your guilt, this is the main trump card of an apology.”*** A heart-to-heart conversation over a glass of beer is the best option for resolving difficult situations.

Don't make fun of your friend, especially don't push him, trying to cheer him up. This behavior can be very hurtful. The irony of this situation is that by your action you humiliated him, and you laugh. Offended people are vindictive. Who knows what awaits you? Don't put off apologizing until later. Over time, a person will come to terms with the insult and become indifferent. Then you have lost a friend!

Forgive me mom

Unfortunately, sometimes it happens that we can hurt the closest and dearest person, offend them, even without malicious intent. An inadvertently spoken word, a random gesture - and then a small storm turns into a formidable storm.
***

Mommy, I know that I am not ideal, I now want to return a lot of things, Forgive me, please, for my rude fuse - I don’t need other indulgences and rewards!

I just want you to forgive me, So that peace and harmony always reign in our family, So that you let go of your resentment like a bird, So that every moment gives us joy and positivity!

***

Forgive me, mommy, for the most annoying puncture, know that I appreciate you, I love you, reduce your angry pressure!

***

Forgive me, Mommy, for the tears, For the ungifted roses, Forgive me for the inattention, Your nightly expectations. You are the sun on my way. For everything, my love, forgive me!

***

Mom, there are so many grievances between us, Sometimes it’s impossible to express in words All the burden of stupid guilt... I want us to be friends,

They admitted their mistakes and did not repeat them again. I ask you for forgiveness, my beloved mother!

***

My dear, mommy, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you at all. It all came out of stupidity, I didn’t dare behave like that.

I hope you forgive me, I'm sincerely trying to apologize. It hurts me when you're sad, I'll try to change.

***

Dear mummy! Forgive me for everything. I am your daughter. Come on, don't be sad!

I will become your little girl again. Let's close this topic - Forgive me quickly.

***

Forgive me, dear mother, Forgive me my words, My soul suffered from the insult, I know how much you love me.

How sometimes you don’t sleep at night, How you care about me, Believe me, I didn’t do it on purpose, I’m sending you an apology.

I love you, I won’t do it anymore, I’ll upset you, mommy, And from now on, I will watch your words, believe me, I will always.

***

Forgive me mom for the misunderstanding, for the harshness in words, quarrels and inattention. I swear that I won’t repeat this, because I love you, mom, with all my heart.

You are the only one I have, modest, sweet, the kindest, unique, and everything you want, I will give for you, my beloved, gentle mother!

***

Mommy, forgive me. I'm so afraid for you. Children are always doing something, They don’t notice their parents’ tears.

I know that you are a mountain for me, You are my superhero. Forgive me, please, I won't allow this to happen again.

***

Forgive me, mom, for the stupid quarrel, Forgive me, dear, for my rudeness. Let's forget the grievances and disputes. You know how much I love you!

You were very, I know, offended, and I apologize to you. You are very upset, I am very ashamed. When you hurt, it hurts me doubly!

How to apologize properly

A person who asks for an apology gives the impression of being cultured, well-mannered, and wins over society.

Only an accomplished person who is aware of his actions can ask for an apology. For many, an apology is like humiliation, and to apologize is to be humiliated accordingly.

From early childhood, our parents taught us to apologize for various stupid things. Sometimes even when it was not our fault, our rights to freedom of speech were infringed. For the unconscious child's psyche, this was regarded as humiliation.

In order not to feel disadvantaged, humanity has learned various tricks. For example: “Well, I’m sorry if I really offended you.” It sounds like this, well, it turns out I also offended her. By saying this, a person not only does not repent of what he said or did, but also blames the other, not realizing his mistakes.

Asking for an apology is to return emotional balance to the person, and not to shield yourself. You must let the person know that you truly deserve his forgiveness. Apologizing means taking a step towards reconciliation. Take responsibility for the current situation and restore trust.

For a proper apology, you need the correct sequence of words:

• Please forgive me for...
• Talk about why exactly, justify your action;
• Repent for what happened. This will give you more confidence that you are truly sorry;
• Sympathize with those who have been offended;
• Ask for forgiveness.

It is sympathy that makes a person understand that the offender has repented of his actions and needs to be sincerely forgiven.

How to apologize to your mom if she doesn't want to talk

The resentment can be so great that it temporarily discourages the desire to communicate even with one’s own child. If you find yourself in a situation where your mother ignores you, then it is still necessary to say words of apology. Sooner or later, the offense will fade into the background, and your words of repentance will be heard, and as soon as your mother cools down, she will be the first to enter into dialogue.

Also, as an option, you can try placing notes around the apartment with words of apology and compliments in her direction.

Don’t forget that we live in an age of high technology, and you can ask your mother for forgiveness by sending an SMS or an email. In order to soften your mother's mood, do the most difficult and least favorite work for her - clean the apartment, cook dinner, take out the trash, wash the dishes. Seeing how hard you try, your mother's heart is sure to soften.

You can ask for forgiveness by wrapping your closest person in a tight hug. Believe me, the smile on your mother's face will not take long.

Reasons for constant quarrels

Typically, disagreements arise for the following reasons:

1. Reluctance to obey. Parents often point out to their children the need to obey the rules existing in the house, since younger family members are completely dependent and are not able to solve issues on their own. Popular phrase: “my house, my rules.” Such a harsh position can cause a desire to rebel, to demonstrate one’s own autonomy and independence: coming home late, refusing to do homework, ignoring phone calls, etc.
2. Financial disagreements .
   The reluctance or inability of parents to pay all the child’s requests can lead to serious disputes, as well as the child’s inability to competently manage the pocket money given to him. For example, funds intended to pay for school meals during the week are spent on going to the cinema.
3. Distribution of household duties . A teenager may be assigned a number of simple household responsibilities: cleaning his room, vacuuming the apartment, throwing out trash, etc. Reluctance to carry out such tasks and constant avoidance of them become a reason for conflicts.
4. Low academic performance . Complete indifference to school, absenteeism, comments from teachers, all this greatly upsets mothers.
5. Appearance. Demonstration of independence can also manifest itself in extreme experiments of a teenager with his appearance. Not every woman will be happy to see that her child has dyed his hair blue or gotten a temporary tattoo on his face.
6. Friends.
   Parents always pay attention to those with whom their child communicates. If the circle of acquaintances is suspicious, they make efforts to protect the child from such communication. Such interference in personal life is regarded not as concern, but as disrespect.
7. Closedness . Often the reason for quarrels lies in the reluctance to share your experiences and problems with your mother. Complete ignorance of what is happening in the life of a son or daughter makes a woman worry, which negatively affects communication.

Effective ways

Show love to your mother by hugging her often.
Since asking for forgiveness is always very difficult, there is another way to melt your mother’s heart. There are several ways:

• start spring cleaning in the absence of parents;
• give a bouquet of wild flowers;
• admit your guilt in the inscription on the asphalt under the window;
• write an apology letter beautifully;
• read poems asking for forgiveness;
• hug, kiss.

Cleaning the house, hugging and kissing are more common for girls. Sons must do more courageous things, and, of course, they cannot do without flowers. Naturally, after a quarrel, some time must pass for the emotions of both parties to subside.

If your mother does not respond to attempts at reconciliation, do not give up - continue to act and do not skimp on compliments. The main thing is to make it clear that this situation will not happen again.

My fault

It happens that you have a very strong fight with your mother, and then you realize that you were fundamentally mistaken and greatly offended your loved one. How to behave in such a situation.

1. Say your mistakes out loud. Admit you're wrong.
2. Talk to your mom sincerely. Sometimes it won’t hurt to cry in a fit of repentance.
3. Use an individual approach on the path to reconciliation. You know better than anyone else what actions and surprises your mother will be very happy about.
4. Having a live conversation is important. Even if reconciliation takes more than one hour, you can have a heart-to-heart talk and sort out your feelings.

Psychologist's advice

Mom is the only person who accepts and loves you as you are. However, understanding this comes with age. For a long time, life experiences have prevented children and adults from understanding each other. Perhaps now the mother’s attitude seems incomprehensible, wrong, and even evil. But in reality, behind all the accusations and scolding, there is a desire to do what is best for you. Try to see this, and the relationship will move to a new level.

No matter how many mistakes you make, your mother will always forgive and love you. Cherish this and try not to offend her if possible. And if you mess up, admit it honestly. Rest assured, you will not be executed.

Lyudmila, Kaliningrad