How to understand that a guy has fallen out of love: stop deceiving yourself

Love inspires, energizes, gives joy, bliss. But sometimes love goes away. How to understand that a guy has fallen out of love and whether it is possible to return the old feelings. At first, when the relationship is harmonious and filled with love, the man shows his feelings in every possible way. When all interest in a partner is lost, she will not hear words of love. After all, the explanation is simple: no love, no words.

An invisible crack has appeared

Rudeness in communication has appeared, he admires other girls, but does not notice you, is not interested in you, does not give compliments, avoids communication, finds fault just like that and gets irritated. And that’s not all: he has cooled off in affection, limits communication or is reluctant to talk, looks for an excuse not to meet, prefers the company of friends to your company, does not invite you to visit or other events.

He may also not congratulate you on the holidays, not be jealous, but on the contrary, he will offer to introduce you to anyone, do not take the initiative for sex, you yourself are increasingly trying to persuade him to have sexual intercourse. All this indicates that there is no more love.

Stays late at work

A sign that a man has stopped loving you can be constant tardiness and delays at work. The guy constantly explains his workload by the immeasurable influx of sudden cases, and gets annoyed when they don’t believe him. He is so busy that he cannot even find a few minutes to answer the phone. This is one of the most common excuses for a person who has lost his feelings.

The essence of this behavior is that the young man himself is ready to believe in his indispensability at work. He experiences internal discomfort, the reason for which he does not want to understand. He is ready to deceive himself and attribute all the difficulties to an overloaded schedule.

Doesn't call2

If the relationship is still “fresh” or when the couple does not live together, how can you understand that the other half has fallen out of love? Telephone communication has stopped or become much less frequent - a sign that interest in you has been lost. Usually, a loving man wants to know as much as possible about the object of his adoration. When interest disappears, feelings disappear. After all, it is a normal desire to know what a loved one is doing, whether he is healthy, where he is, how things are, in general, etc. The man no longer cares, and he calls and sends messages less and less. And when you call, he simply doesn’t pick up the phone, and then he may not call back, citing being busy.

How can you tell by a man’s behavior that he has stopped loving you?

You lived in perfect harmony, reveling in your love and passion for several years.
But at some point you began to notice that everything had gone somewhere, the feeling of understanding and trust was gone. Instead, doubts, resentments, disagreements and even personal complexes appeared. Your interests have become radically different. Your spouse has stopped showing reciprocal warm feelings, and you understand that the relationship is becoming uncomfortable. Realizing that quarrels and conflicts periodically occur in every married couple, you hope that not everything is lost, and you think: maybe this is just a relationship crisis? The Internet is often replete with this psychological term, which is considered the norm in family development. To find out the truth, you read a lot about this phenomenon, even took several tests on the topic “how to understand that a husband has stopped loving his wife,” but all this has not yet convinced you. Perhaps the reason is that you are not yet ready to realize the terrible truth. But it is impossible to reassure yourself with delusions for long. Sooner or later, you still need to move the needle, sensibly analyze what is happening and decide what to do in the situation if the spouse’s feelings have cooled or even gone irrevocably. There are certain signs that a man has stopped loving you, which can be noted in his behavior. We will look at them in detail to help you understand the situation and make a decision.

Indifference

In a harmonious relationship, where love and mutual understanding reign, spouses have a common life filled with care, interesting events, participation in each other’s affairs, making plans for the future and jointly solving problems.

One of the clear signs of a partner’s fading feelings is his complete indifference to his other half. If your husband has ceased to be interested in your life, health, affairs, and has become distant and cold in communication, this is the first bell.

It is possible that he has some problems, for example, at work. Because of them, he is mentally and physically exhausted, and he no longer has enough strength to support his family. It's important to note the fine line here. Or temporary indifference and then bursts of tenderness. Or for a long period of complete indifference and withdrawal into oneself, into one’s own interests. And no matter what you do to stir him up and attract attention to your person, the man practically does not react. Or this may be accompanied by a reaction in the form of irritation to all your actions, ranging from “voice too loud, laughing or even breathing”, ending with complaints about the borscht, which he used to adore. This suggests that life together became a burden to him and love died. But the partner does not dare to say about this, feeling guilty, so he prefers to spend more time outside the home.

Coarseness

When a young man realizes that his feelings have passed, he becomes angry with himself for not being able to do anything, and takes out his rudeness on his other half. Being in love, he idealized his chosen one, complimented her, and carried her in his arms. Now the situation has changed, and not a trace remains of politeness and admiration. A partner's rudeness can manifest itself in various forms:

1. Regular irritation and raising the voice to the point of shouting and swearing at the spouse. Moreover, at the sight of her tears, he gets even more irritated.
2. Criticism of her external data. For example, he began to tell his wife that she had not just gotten fat, aged, or dressed poorly, but that she was “fat, scary, old, saggy, a loser. He even notices small wrinkles on the face or broken nails. He says that he is ashamed to appear with her in public. Whereas before he treated her almost like a goddess.
3. Character claims. For example, he doesn’t like that she has become boring, constantly nagging, blowing her mind, whining and shedding tears. Despite the fact that he himself is the main reason for this behavior.
4. Criticism of any actions of the partner. Instead of dinner, she prepared slop, the apartment is an eternal mess, and the bed will soon get bedbugs from the crumbs (although he is the one who snacks there in the evenings).
5. Anger leads to physical violence. A man can hit you in the face or even give you a good beating. And in this case, the saying “hitting means loving” has no basis at all.
6. Makes comments in public, in the presence of relatives, friends, or even in front of strangers.

With this behavior, the partner seems to be trying to convince himself that it is his wife who is to blame for his cooled feelings, therefore she deserves a harsh attitude towards herself and manifestations of contempt and hatred.

Therefore, if you began to notice how your man is constantly rude and generally behaves disgustingly, then it’s time to understand that he simply stopped loving.

Doesn't take into account opinions

Previously, you discussed all matters and problems together, listening to each other’s opinions, consulting and analyzing everyone’s point of view. Now your chosen one makes decisions on everything himself. Moreover, this does not at all resemble a manifestation of independence or masculinity, but rather a reluctance to take your opinion into account. He is not interested in your point of view on anything. He simply erased his soulmate from his heart and selfishly lives on his own, making plans for the future, without even trying to share them. Or he gives you a choice, but only in economic matters. You simply don’t have any topics left to discuss anything together. Even your basic question “What to cook for lunch?” he waves it off irritably and disappears from sight, making it clear that he is not to be disturbed over trifles, much less serious matters. When communicating with other people, when talking about plans and dreams, he uses only the pronoun “I”, instead of the “we” that was once pleasant to his ears.

Feeling superior

Previously, there was equality and mutual respect in your relationships. Everyone was a full-fledged person, whose opinion was taken into account and they were proud of any actions and deeds. Now your spouse’s attitude towards you has changed beyond recognition. Extinguished love and passion transformed into irritation, contempt, humiliation and a feeling of superiority over you. The partner began to constantly point out that as a man he is in charge, “and you are nobody, and there is no way to call you, so know your place.” He dictates his terms in everything, he can make decisions for you, including what you should wear and whether to go anywhere with him. Or it’s better not to loom before his eyes and sit quietly at home and iron shirts. After all, what else can you be good for?

This change in behavior may be an unconscious provocation for you to make the decision to divorce yourself. Because, despite the fact that he considers himself the master in the relationship and in your life, the issue of breaking the connection is beyond his strength. Usually men are guilty of weakness in these situations.

Reluctance to understand

When a guy’s love and affection fades, understatement and misunderstandings begin in the relationship. He loses the desire to take care of his soulmate, protect her from mental disorders, help her in some way, solve everyday and other problems. And all this ultimately results in disagreements and skirmishes. He completely stops listening to his partner’s opinion and does not want to understand her, thereby provoking quarrels and scandals. The young man turns on a kind of armor that allows him to hear no one but himself. And he tries to distance himself and close himself off from everything that is happening.

Of course, everything can be attributed to his fatigue and preoccupation with some problems or the so-called age crisis. But when this happens regularly with enviable frequency, it is worth considering whether it is necessary to keep a person near you who no longer experiences warm feelings.

Lack of tenderness and intimacy

You remember how good you had together. Your partner enveloped you in his tenderness and warmth. And passion burned in his loving eyes, which he could not tear away from you. How you didn’t get out of bed for days, giving in to the incessant attraction to each other. He took care of you and made pleasant surprises: he brought you coffee or breakfast in bed, covered you with a soft blanket, carried you in his arms, gave flowers and gifts, was there during illness and gave you medicine.

But now for you these are just fairy-tale memories or maybe even a dream. You realize that nothing like this has happened between you for a long time, and you wonder what happened to your once such delightful relationship.

You are trying to blame everything on being too busy at work, at home, or focusing on your existing children or career. Such reasons can undoubtedly lead to the extinction of passion and less affection and care. But not to their complete disappearance from family life.

Clear signs that a husband has fallen out of love with his wife are the absence of tenderness and sexual intimacy over a long period, manifested in the following moments:

1. The spouse stopped kissing and hugging you, looking into your eyes, calming you down, and taking an interest in your well-being.
2. You have almost forgotten about intimacy. He constantly finds some excuse for this: he’s tired, it’s been a hard evening and he has a headache, he’s been overworking at the gym, etc.
3. In general, he tries to avoid any clashes with you and spend more time separately in the apartment or even outside the house. For example, he may stay at work for a long time or often spend time with friends, staying at their place overnight. Or lock yourself in a separate room with a TV, newspaper, beer and a request not to disturb him and let him rest.
4. He regards any actions towards him on your part as “brain blowing” and disrespect for his personal space.
5. Does not respond to your attempts to persuade him to have sex: he is not inspired by new sexy lingerie, the offer of an erotic massage or testing intimate toys, etc. Or, in rare cases, the spouse agrees to the provocation, but the sex is dry, mechanical and lasts a couple of minutes. After which he turns to the wall and falls asleep.

And these are not one-time situations where there is a chance that the partner will rest, think and return to the previous warm relationship. This has become a constant in your life together, which means he simply doesn’t love anymore. It is worth taking into account that in a relationship filled with mutual love, there will be no desire to be absent from the party for a long time or to disappear under any pretext. And even more so, refuse sex if there are no problems with potency.

Communication on the side

A very common reason for a partner’s cooling of feelings is his affair on the side. Therefore, wondering what is happening in your relationship and why he has become so rude and indifferent to you, take a closer look to see if he has another woman. This fact can be indicated by the following signs:

1. The man stays late, and sometimes does not come to spend the night at all.
2. He became secretive and suspicious.
3. From time to time he smells like women's perfume, and you can find foreign hair or other incriminating clues on his clothes or on the car seat.
4. He began to pay increased attention to his appearance: he spends a long time in the bathroom, washing himself and shaving, he began to visit the gym, and he carefully chooses perfume, clothes and shoes.
5. He doesn’t let go of the phone number that is password-protected for you, periodically calling or texting with someone.
6. He stopped paying attention to you, pleasing you with pleasant surprises or flowers, and is not jealous of possible admirers.
7. Or, on the contrary, he suddenly began to give expensive gifts for no reason. This may be a sign of a tormenting conscience and a desire to pay off sin.

If your suspicions are confirmed, but you want to save the relationship, you can talk frankly with your chosen one. Let's say this is just a passing hobby, and then he will confess to you, repent of what he has done and want to be with you. But if your partner has serious feelings and true love for another woman, then it is better to break off the connection with him. Otherwise, the already excruciating pain will become simply unbearable in the future and can lead to various negative consequences.

Great disappointment

Sometimes, when the passion cools down, it becomes clear that this was not true love, but only falling in love with a strong physical attraction to each other. But over time, everyday life and habit took their toll, and the partner simply became disillusioned with such a relationship. Because the courtship period and honeymoon are a fairy tale, full of delightful events and raging passions. And subsequent life together is a completely different side of the coin, where problems arise that require solutions. And the wife is seen in a different light: unkempt in the mornings and not always smelling pleasant in the evenings, with periodic notes of discontent and bitchiness in her character. Such a life simply begins to kill the feelings that seemed like love to the chosen one, and alienate him from his partner. And she, in turn, begins to lack attention, care, tenderness, and she throws out her disappointment on him, thereby pushing him away from herself even more.

If a man realizes that he is disappointed in the relationship and no longer feels love, then no matter how hard you try to keep him, he will still leave. Or he will live under duress and make both of them unhappy.

Take note of all the described signs and compare them with the behavior of your chosen one. And perhaps the conclusion will suggest itself. If a husband has fallen out of love, then he behaves like a rude man, a tyrant, a morally and physically indifferent partner, and sometimes even like a traitor. It is necessary to keep in mind: it is possible to make a final conclusion that a man’s feelings have faded away completely only if there are several signs, and not just one. And only then can a decision be made.

Irritation3

Perhaps the man has not yet figured out his feelings towards you. But subconsciously you cause him to be rejected. He gets angry for no reason, gets angry and irritated, finds fault with little things, although at the same time he behaves as usual. Reproaches with or without cause are increasingly heard. And no matter what you do, the tyranny does not stop. Out of nowhere, a scandal may break out with a showdown, where the man, as if on purpose, provokes you to this. Such pickiness is the first signal that not everything is good in the couple.

How to act to get your loved one back

If you find out the reason why a man fell out of love, you need to carefully analyze your attitude towards him. There are two options: break up or try to return your former love. If you value relationships and are not ready to miss them, you need to do everything in your power. Therefore, it is urgent to act as follows:

1. In no case should you humiliate, beg, threaten or blackmail. A reasonable decision would be to maintain your own dignity, improve yourself spiritually and physically (improve your appearance, learn a new profession or find a new hobby). Let a man see who he can lose.
2. Do not throw hysterics, do not cry, do not insult or humiliate a man. Become kind and calm, smile more and exude positive energy.
3. Do not be an obsessive, overly loving and ideal woman in everything, who from now on will fulfill all the desires of her lover. Even in the best manifestations, moderation must be observed.

Indifference and indifference6

The man seems to be withdrawing into himself, hiding in his shell from you. Stops participating in family life if the couple is married. The guy is immersed in his own affairs and problems. Sometimes a man doesn’t want to change his usual life for the unknown, or waste time, money and energy on a new relationship. The formed comfort zone does not allow you to break off the relationship, even though there is no more love. A woman ceases to feel loved and desired and experiences a lack of attention.

Avoids intimacy

A very important question is whether a man can stop loving a woman if he is sexually attracted to her. The answer will be yes in very rare cases. Most often, feelings go away along with intimacy or make it a primitive performance of marital duties. A person simply may not want sex because of fatigue, accumulated problems, or a bad mood (this applies to both men and women equally). But in the case when love passes, everything looks different:

• after sex, a man becomes less tender;
• the guy avoids sex by staying late or going to sleep in another bed;
• sex turns into a duty that is devoid of spirituality;
• a woman’s attempts to diversify her sex life are met with indifference or irritation;
• Sex life stops completely.

Not jealous10

There is not a single man who does not experience this feeling. Even if a guy does not show jealousy, seeing attention to his companion from another man, he will definitely react and demonstrate ownership. When a guy doesn’t care: who his girlfriend communicates with, how other representatives of the stronger half look at her and try to please her, it means that love is dead. He will only be glad if you have someone to relieve himself of the burden of worrying about you. And so - the girl is already settled in and does not cry. A loving man with serious intentions will not share his woman with another man, even if these are just signs of attention.

Irritated

One of the signs that a man has stopped loving you is his excessive irritability. He considers himself deceived because the woman did not live up to his hopes, and feels irritated and disappointed. And the more he experiences internal discomfort, the more angry he becomes with his other half.

Some representatives of the stronger sex behave extremely unworthily. In a fit of rage, they insult their chosen one, are rude and create scandals over trifles. Unfortunately, this reaction is quite normal. A man feels like a prisoner of a relationship, and aggression is his only salvation.

How to let go of love correctly

If the question of why a man stopped loving a woman is left behind, and the final decision to separate is made, it should be done correctly. To do this you need:

• limit meetings with your ex-lover as much as possible;
• try to communicate more with your friends and relatives in order to feel their support in difficult times;
• do not allow the opportunity to call or write to a man, you need to restrain your impulses;
• you should not hold a grudge against your ex-partner, since every person has the right to choose;
• try to build new relationships, extracting only positive aspects from past experiences.