Signs of true love
If we start from the definition of what love is, we can identify certain key features of this feeling. The signs may be present all at once, or one at a time. It all depends on the situation. In any case, most of it will always be traced in relationships:
- You constantly think about the person you love;
- Always want to do something good for your partner;
- Periodically analyze the words, thoughts and actions that your significant other performs;
- Inspiration and desire for self-development appear in you;
- You do not change your opinion and attitude towards your partner, despite his shortcomings;
- You respect your significant other very much.
If you observe these signs constantly, and they do not disappear over time, you can congratulate you, your feelings are sincere. It seems simple, then why do people think that affection is love?
What feelings should alert you?
What signs of love can mislead you?
There are also rather dubious signs of love. They need to be treated with caution and assessed in the context of your other feelings and events that happen in life:
- The best thing that happened to you during the day was meeting your partner. We can talk about love only if, in general, everything in your life is very good, and meeting a partner is a pleasant bonus. If he is your only outlet, then believe me, this is not love.
- You have begun to think very seriously about your partner's needs. This is great if you don’t sacrifice yourself or destroy yourself. Giving yourself completely to a person without reserve, leaving nothing for yourself, is the path to the abyss. A loving person, by the way, will never accept such sacrifices.
If you are an adult and sensible person, then you will definitely analyze your feelings. Understand first of all that this is your life, and you should not give its moments to someone who is not destined for you.
When love is born
To understand and understand that you really love a person very much, you need to be patient. True feelings appear after a long period of time. The transformation of affection into true love occurs gradually. Hot passion does not always turn into feelings, and this is not scary. Many people can experience love only once in their life, while others never know it.
It is impossible to say exactly at what point infatuation will degenerate into love. For this to happen, partners need to get to know each other. Having made sure that your beloved person is reliable, your life goals coincide, we can say that a true feeling has arisen. As a rule, this happens after 2-3 years. You should talk about love no earlier than a year after the formation of a couple.
We have considered all possible aspects regarding how to understand whether you really love a person or whether this is attachment. Before deciding to enter into a serious relationship, you need to listen to your inner voice. This is the only way to find out the exact answer to this question and get rid of doubts.
How to develop empathy
By nature we are selfish. Almost all. In the case of the millennial generation, a self-oriented worldview has actually become the norm. Add to this the replacement of real communication with correspondence on social networks, and the forecasts of fatalistic writers who claim that people have forgotten how to understand each other will no longer seem like fiction. When we see the experiences, emotions, and suffering of another person, we usually become embarrassed and don’t know what to do, although we want to help somehow. In such situations, our consciousness turns to empathy - the ability to understand and respond appropriately to the emotional states of others. Read more…
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Patronage
The feeling of a patron resembles the relationship of a parent providing care and protection. A strong union is possible when the patron's partner is weaker and more dependent on him. There is often a large difference in age or social status between such partners. By showing care, the patron satisfies his vanity, he likes to be strong, in charge, this allows him to show condescension and contempt for his partner: “Where would you be if not me?”
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In intimate relationships, problems often arise for one or both partners. But they do not perceive sexual relations as the basis of family relationships. If a dependent partner “grows out” of such a relationship, he strives to break the union, and the patron experiences anger - after all, he raised him “from rags to riches”, but he was not appreciated.
Ability to understand emotional state
Emotions control a person more than it seems at first glance. Even the absence of emotions is an emotion, or rather a whole state, which is characterized by its own characteristics in human behavior. Emotional states are mental states that arise in the process of a subject’s life and determine not only the level of information and energy exchange, but also the direction of behavior. Why is it so important to recognize your emotional state and that of others? It’s simple: the direction of thoughts, thinking capabilities, behavior, level of aggression, motivation, and sociability depend on it. Learn this and your communication will become much more effective. Read more…
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How to understand what it is: love, sympathy or infatuation?
If you ask any person what the word “love” means, there will probably be a great many definitions for this word. Love can define one’s attitude toward one’s homeland, one’s favorite food, surrounding objects, favorite animals, and so on. However, the most common association with the word “love” is the emotional state of a person and the manifestation of feelings. It is difficult to understand whether you love a person. Love or habit? Sympathy or passion?
1.
Sympathy
You can feel sympathy for a long time, but it is more typical for friends. That is why you need to decide on what exactly your love for your chosen one is based. Do you have a willingness to support a person, to help him in difficult moments of life? If you have common interests and worldviews, you will probably feel sympathy for the person, which can then develop into something more serious.
2.
Sexual attraction
If you feel that in the presence of your chosen one you are experiencing sexual attraction and are excited, then most likely you are burning with passionate love for him and you have to understand that you love the person or not. Most often, love is a consequence of the search for something new, bright emotions and adventures.
3.
Set of common interests
The combination of common interests and sexual attraction most likely indicates that you feel romantic love for your chosen one. This is the most wonderful period of a relationship, but, as practice shows, only young couples can have such a long period.
4.
Passion
In a serious relationship, passion is far from the leading emotion. The level of your desire will help you understand that you love a person or not yet. It would be ridiculous for you to confess your love to a person just because you are sexually attracted to him. This kind of “love” does not bode well. For the sake of bliss in bed, you will have to endure literally everything from your loved one.
5.
Friends, lovers and like-minded people at the same time
As you know, there is no love without friendship
Therefore, for true love it is very important to become a friend, lover and ally to your partner at the same time. Moreover, the desire to become more than lovers must be mutual
The desire for eternal love, when partners are ready to keep it forever - this is true love.
6.
Addiction
How can you understand whether you love a person and not become dependent on that person? One must be able to avoid emotional sadism. If you think that at least someone must be next to you, these are signs of false love.
7.
Jealousy
Jealousy never leads to real feelings. Jealous people for the most part are just egoists who want to dominate their partner.
How do you feel when you truly love - 10 ways
The feeling of falling in love is a wonderful and amazing feeling that captures or, on the contrary, scares us. Sooner or later, every person experiences it.
If you fall in love, then in the future you will no longer be able to imagine your life without your soulmate.
It is worth remembering that each person experiences love in completely different ways. Probably everyone who has experienced this feeling will agree that it is the most excellent and beautiful on Earth.
So let's read 10 ways to understand that you really love that person or you just like him:
Waking up early in the morning - this is the first person you think about
If you really love a person, then when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you think about is him, and before going to bed, you also think about him. When you have many wonderful moments during the day, you first want to share it all with your partner. When the day is not going well and a lot of bad things happen to you, you look to him for support.
Your loved one is the best part of the day.
One famous American musician and actor Childish Gambino sings in one of his songs: “When I'm alone, I'd rather be with you.” Even those few minutes that you spend every day with your loved one are the best for you. You will never get tired of your soulmate and will always look for a reason to meet her.
No matter how good the day was, your loved one and dear one can brighten it with just their presence. If you just like a person, she or he will be able to make him or her better, but most likely they will not be able to be the best part of him.
Self-interest comes second
While you are alone, your interests are the most important to you. Love is selfless. If you really meet your true love, then the interests of your soulmate will be much more important to you than your own. This is what love is all about. Your own interests will always seem insignificant in contrast to the interests of your loved one.
You are not afraid to express your feelings in public
If you really love this person, then you want the whole world to know about it. You are never shy about your feelings. If you just like a person, then you will refrain from showing feelings in public.
Are you ready to do anything
When you are in love with someone, you will definitely do anything to make your loved one happy.
Are you planning for the long term future?
A person in love cannot imagine his future without a specific person. Based on this, you will probably plan your future life with your loved one for the long term.
If you just like a person, then planning the future will be very scary.
Your love is imperfect
Love is the ability to accept the shortcomings of a loved one. You may jokingly mention them to your loved one, but in reality you will adore these imperfections of hers or his.
Your feelings are not due to anything
True love is not limited by conditions. When you love your partner unconditionally, it means only one thing - your love is absolute and it knows no conditions.
You're getting better
There are no ideal people and there is always room to grow further. If you love someone, then you always want to become the best “version” for that person.
What can true love be confused with?
Until now, not a single sage or scientist has been able to accurately, briefly and clearly define what love is. If you ask this question to different people, it turns out that everyone has their own concept of love. However, both thinkers and psychologists agree that love is not. Unconscious people mistake the feelings and emotions listed below for love. But in fact, these are just different forms of expression of selfishness, psychological trauma, internal conflicts and problems.
Falling in love can have a calming effect on the body and mind, and also helps restore the nervous system and improve the memory of the lover.
So, what can love be easily confused with:
- Passion. We begin to experience an irresistible craving for a person, a strong physical attraction. Many people begin to feel like they are head over heels in love. In fact, passion is a consequence of sexual attraction, or simply put, it is ordinary lust. Blinded by our desires, we begin to endow a person with non-existent qualities and are disappointed when we later discover that the object of passion is far from our fantasies.
- Sympathy. It arises against the background of physical and psychological attractiveness. We often experience this feeling towards people in whom we see friends who are close to us in spirit and worldview. Sympathy often develops into true love, but still it is not love in itself.
- Love. Quite strong emotional feelings that mix passion, sympathy, and attraction. Falling in love gives real euphoria, but can make you suffer a lot if the feelings are not mutual. In fact, such strong and vivid experiences are caused by hormones that begin to be actively produced in a state of love. But, as a rule, such a chemical reaction in the body lasts only a few months. When it stabilizes, people’s “rose-colored glasses come off” and we begin to notice things we haven’t seen in our partner before. At this stage, problems and disagreements may begin in the relationship. If people do not overcome the moment of crisis, it means that there was no trace of love there. Just body chemistry.
- Addiction. If one of the partners begins to feel that he can no longer live without his “other half,” there are psychological problems. Dependence is experienced by psychologically immature people or individuals with serious psychological trauma. Usually such injuries occur in virginity. For example, a mother does not teach her daughter independence, making her completely dependent on herself and justifying such manipulation with her love. Although in fact, behind everything is the mother’s fear of losing her daughter and being left alone. The situation is often observed in families where the mother raises the child alone. A person grows up who does not know what self-sufficiency is and is capable of building only a dependent model of relationships. She replaces dependence on her mother with dependence on a man, considering it love.
- Habit. It happens that people stay nearby for a long time (colleagues, classmates, neighbors, members of some club), and when one of them leaves the common area, strange feelings of melancholy, cravings, and worries come. It may seem to one or both that they have loved each other all this time, which is why they are so hard to bear separation. But in fact, this is a common habit, perhaps built on sympathy. In such a situation, there is a chance that feelings will develop into true love.
- Jealousy. Many people think that if a partner is jealous, it means they love you. And this is how jealous people themselves justify their painful emotions. In fact, behind jealousy there are also psychological traumas and unawareness. A self-sufficient person, self-confident and self-loving, will never torment another with jealousy. People with low self-esteem, insecure, immature people who have fears inside them are jealous.
How can you understand that you love a person? To begin with, it is enough to make sure that you are not guided by the feelings and emotions listed above. The main thing is to be honest with yourself and not be afraid to admit to yourself what you are really experiencing. And to make sure that the feelings are true, let’s try to define true love.
Stages of formation
In order for truly adult and conscious feelings to form, several stages must pass. It is after overcoming them that you can determine when you love a person and when you are in yet another unsuccessful romance.
Love
Any relationship and true love begins with primary love and mutual attraction. At this stage, so-called “hormonal chemistry” occurs between people, characterized by the release of large amounts of dopamine, the hormone responsible for pleasure and joy. During this period, a man and a woman feel a strong attraction, try to spend every free minute together and, if separated for a short time, become immersed in some kind of anxiety.
Due to the increased production of endorphins and oxytocin, partners idealize each other, admire and sometimes endow each other with qualities that they do not actually possess. Love lasts no more than 2 years.
Satiation
After several years, hormone production stabilizes and the rose-colored glasses fall off from both the guy and his girlfriend. The lovers no longer feel such a strong need for each other, and the relationship becomes ordinary and familiar. It is at this stage that healthy egoism arises, since both partners begin to value their own comfort and soberly assess who is nearby.
If young people were connected only by physical attraction, their union will certainly fall apart. To move to the next level of achieving love, partners will have to learn to compromise and take into account the needs of the other person.
Disgust
The most difficult and ambiguous phase is the disgust phase. Many divorces occur at this time, when the level of irritation and anger reaches its peak. The positive qualities of a partner begin to literally disappear before our eyes and depreciate, so many people make attempts to adapt their loved one to themselves. Mutual claims and reproaches, disappointments and quarrels are the main manifestations of disgust.
Tests that must be overcome on the path to sincere love:
- complaints about appearance;
- searching for other sexual hobbies;
- disharmony in intimacy;
- financial difficulties;
- disagreements in raising children;
- perception of different life values.
Humility
After numerous conflicts, the couple begins to come to common points of contact, correctly evaluate each other and adequately analyze life's difficulties. Only those partners who know how to work on relationships can move to humility.
During this period, lovers develop tolerance and a sense of kinship. Now the couple has become even closer to love and complete mutual respect.
Service or respect
At this stage, people begin to value the union and show selflessness. Many problems are left behind and people realize that they have something to lose, so they try their best to maintain good relationships. At this time, a man and a woman reach emotional maturity, become faithful assistants and reliable support.
The lovers realize that they cannot change each other and actively adapt. The battlefield changes to the negotiating table and the spouses begin to forgive, accept, tolerate and respect.
Friendship
At the stage of friendship, a platonic connection arises between partners. Spouses can completely trust each other, share their most intimate things and provide full moral support. A man and a woman try to get out of conflict situations peacefully, to do something pleasant and useful.
The period of friendship can last several years, and sometimes even a lifetime. It manifests itself most clearly when the children together have grown up and the partners have enough time for each other.
Love
The last, strongest and strongest stage is love. To achieve it, lovers will have to overcome many pitfalls, reasons for disagreement and crises. After many years of living together, partners literally grow together with each other, perfectly understand the feelings and desires of the other perfectly and enjoy communication.
It is at this stage that the connection becomes truly harmonious, bound by the bonds of true spiritual affection. A person no longer tries to understand whether I love my partner or not, since he is 100% confident in his own emotions. This period is the most holistic and calm.
Do all people know how to love?
Yes
14.29%
No
85.71%
Voted: 7
Test: loves or no longer loves
If the question arises: how to understand whether a guy loves you or not, you can take a special test compiled by psychologists. The number of points will help you determine what your significant other’s attitude towards you is.
For each positive answer you must add 1 point, for a negative answer - 0. The answer to the question: how to understand that a guy does not love you, the test will definitely show.
Rate each statement (“yes” or “no”):
- your betrothed always finds time to meet with you;
- always asks how your day was;
- when you are sick, he takes care of you;
- constantly wishes you “good night” and “good morning”;
- introduced you to friends and parents;
- you have excellent sexual relationships;
- gets excited when meeting you;
- prefers your company in all his free time;
- tries to please you in everything;
- constantly talks about his feelings.
How to understand that a guy doesn't love you anymore? If you get from 5 to 10 points, you don’t have to worry, the person is not indifferent to you and has passionate feelings. A lower number of points indicates dislike.
Advice from psychologists
Experts generally do not advise asking the question whether a particular person loves you or not. Such thoughts are quite understandable, as long as they don’t drag on too long. Sometimes, especially at a young age, we begin to become fixated on one person and look for signs of reciprocity in his every step. Feelings for him gradually turn into mania, and this is already a disease.
If this is your first time asking such a question, then there is nothing wrong with it. After all, you probably feel interested in yourself and want to know the depth of feelings directed in your direction. But, if you have been watching your dream object for a long time, day after day, looking for signals of love, stop. This is a wake-up call that could mean the following:
- You have low self-esteem. You work yourself up and fall in love with any more or less attractive person, immediately looking for return. You really want to be someone's love, although first of all you should love yourself.
- Your life is boring. Your brain is tired of everyday life and craves bright emotions. It is the subconscious that pushes you to search for a potential partner. Impatience makes you look for the answer to the question: “Does he/she love me?”
- You are in a dysfunctional relationship. If you, being in a couple, are not sure about the feelings of your other half, then everything is clearly not going smoothly between you. Here you need to strengthen the relationship in order to get the long-awaited confidence, and not guess whether your partner still loves you or not.
You can't escape fate. Love will definitely find you when you don't even expect it. Press yourself less and enjoy life.
How to distinguish love from affection?
1. When sympathy arises between people, it usually leads to the creation of a relationship. They may not necessarily be love. For example, just friendship. If sympathy is enough to start a romantic relationship, a new couple will be created.
2. Sympathy will definitely develop into a strong feeling if people have common topics for conversation, mutual interests and aspirations. If 2 people want to build a harmonious relationship, nothing can stop them.
3. But it happens that something interferes with the building of love, constant quarrels, scandals and nervous tension occur. You need to look for the reasons for what is happening within yourself. The question involuntarily pops up in your head: “How do you know if you love a person?” Were the feelings real or was it attachment?
4. If you cannot be near your chosen one, you are constantly nervous about trifles, this means that you have no desire to build a life together. Most relationships are destroyed precisely on everyday grounds.
Signs that you like him/her as a person
1. The subject of your feelings is not like everyone else. He or she is lucky.
2. You don't just like his appearance. Congratulations, all is not lost for you yet.
3. You wish this person happiness. Great. It would be nice to wish happiness to most people.
4. It makes you ready to try something new. Great, you have found someone with whom you feel comfortable and pleasant.
5. Your partner inspires you to be better. Role models are also inspiring, but you don't like them.
How to understand whether you love a person or not after a breakup
The emotional state after a breakup can be very unstable, when you want to kill someone with whom you had romantic feelings and such nostalgia rolls in that you want to return. Here it is worth dealing with the question of how to understand whether you love a person or not after breaking up, because perhaps this is attachment or an unfilled emptiness, and the main thing here is not to confuse such things with the loss of love.
To understand yourself, you need to isolate yourself from the influence of the opinions of others, who can either engage in PR for a rare scoundrel or denigrate a truly loved one. You can prohibit talking about your former relationship and providing any information about the person’s current state of affairs, and if requests do not help, temporarily stop communicating with those who are trying to influence your perception. Listen to how easy it is for you to live every day on your own, how often you remember your ex, open photos and look at him from an intimate point of view, because you can react to the changed life (that no one rattles the coffee maker or the fact that you didn’t have to carry groceries from store). Look back and evaluate whether there are grievances between you, often love can be confused with the need for his apology or atonement for your own feelings of guilt. Also imagine the future, general old age and evaluate the feelings from such a picture - if it has become warm and cozy, then you can talk about love, if it is cold, disgusting or nothing at all, then there is nothing, even if this has caused a lot of activity and a desire to be there, then check - do you like the family picture or this person in it.
It’s also good to analyze his motives and if it seems to you that feelings are alive after the breakup, think about the lack of reconciliation or steps in your direction from your ex. Usually, if the love is sincere, then it is mutual and both regret the separation. Getting rid of the false idea will help getting rid of the fear of loneliness - imagine in as much detail as possible that you are in a wonderful relationship, where you are valued and you are happy, and through this state evaluate your feelings for your ex. If, while in a relationship, you don’t remember your past love, then it was a veiled fear of loneliness, and if you think about it, then it makes sense to put your current relationship on hold until you completely understand yourself.
Feelings for your ex are normal; when they arise, it is important to keep in your mind the full picture of what is happening, with all its shortcomings, all your dissatisfaction, and share it. You can love the way he hugged you in his sleep and hate the rest of the time, you can miss walks in the park together and enjoy the silence in the apartment in the evening - then this is about very specific things that you need, without all the unwanted list
But if there is an understanding that you need this person and his shortcomings are complementary to yours, then this is love that can still be returned if you quickly realize and do not wait for the feelings to go away.
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Methods
In addition to the characteristic signs of love, you can try various methods for determining your feelings.
- Advantages and disadvantages. Take a piece of paper and divide it into two columns. In the first, write down all the positive traits of your partner, everything that you like, in the second - all the shortcomings. Now analyze what you wrote. If there are more shortcomings, then your love is in doubt.
- Meditation. Take a comfortable position, close your eyes, be alone with your thoughts. You can sit like this for half an hour or longer. It is important that there are no factors that can distract or lead to other thoughts. Focus on your breathing, calm down, imagine the person whose feelings you doubt. Mentally seeing him, try to understand what you are feeling at the moment, whether there is a desire to approach him, hug him, kiss him, or whether any negative feelings appear. Having assessed these sensations, you will be able to understand how dear he is to you and whether there is love here.
- “The beloved is no more.” The technique is quite radical, but very effective. You need to imagine that such a moment has come and your chosen one is no longer with you or your acquaintance never took place. How do such thoughts make you feel? Do you feel comfortable or do you experience severe pain? The fact is that many people sometimes do not understand what feelings they have for a particular person until they lose him. But then it's too late to change anything. That is why it is so important to resort to this method in order to identify what feelings are actually hidden in your heart, how dear this person is. If severe pain arises at the mere thought that he is not around, then you need to do everything in order to preserve this relationship. There is definitely love in your heart. But we should not forget that love addiction can also give a similar result, because a person who is obsessed with another, cannot imagine his life without him, also experiences pain.
Why and for what do they love?
Sometimes they love in spite of everything, common sense, the slander of relatives, they just love and that’s it, quietly and tenderly, often saying to themselves, “well, how mine he is, this dear and beloved person.” And at the same time your heart skips a beat with happiness!
I remember how one of my friends said that “I even like his hoarse voice when he plays and sings with a guitar”... it’s definitely about love!
One of the men, oh, click, here it is, mine! But this does not always happen, because love is a calm, good feeling and it does not come immediately. With love, the amplitude of vibrations is practically absent, there is simply “everything on top” and EVERYTHING!
What to do if you don't like each other anymore
Falling in love flares up quickly, like a match, and love develops in small steps and only grows every day. However, she leaves using the same method. It is impossible to stop loving a person in one day. Passion, attraction, and then emotions gradually disappear. But even if there is a strong resentment, it will not be possible to stop loving or ignore thoughts about your soul mate.
Personality develops throughout life, during which its hobbies and worldviews change. This causes misunderstandings and leads to separation. You can alternately accept heightened emotions, their decline, periods of happiness and disagreement. However, if the relationship does not bring satisfaction, as in the first months, you need to talk with your chosen one, and do not be afraid to be sincere. Perhaps he has not been in love for a long time, but does not want to take responsibility for breaking the union. Don't delay - dislike breeds disrespect and loss of interest. This is hardly a short-term disorder and it makes sense to experience each new crisis again. It is better to let each other go, look at your shortcomings and find your true happiness.
How to distinguish love from addiction and attraction
Psychologists believe that the hallmark of true love is primarily the desire for constancy, while attraction can be felt towards several people at once
A lover truly has only one person of the opposite sex to whom he devotes all his attention
Addiction is characterized by a pathological desire for possession and boundless jealousy. The addict does not recognize the free will of the object of adoration and experiences extreme pain if his desire is not satisfied immediately and fully.
Attraction is often dominated by the desire for physical intimacy. High spiritual values inherent in true love, such as sacrifice, self-denial, the desire to create a family, attraction are not inherent or are in their infancy.
A certain test for true love is temporary separation, for example, if one of the couple has to leave for a while. The French thinker La Rochefoucauld compared separation to the wind: it blows out a candle, but fans the fire. Temporary attraction, when you don’t see a person for a certain period, will go out like a candle. A real feeling helps a couple survive the period of separation, and after a long-awaited meeting, love flares up with renewed vigor.
How to learn to read a person: 7 tips from a former FBI agent
Knowing how to read people greatly impacts how you interact with them. When you understand how another person is feeling, you can adapt your behavior to effectively influence them. You will be able to understand when they are lying to you or simply hiding their true motives. We collected the tips offered in the article from the pages of Lara Kay's blog. She worked for the FBI for 23 years and now shares her knowledge and experience with people who want to improve their communication skills. We'll talk about baseline behavior, identifying deviations and context, keywords and other important things that professional profilers use. Read more…
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Love or affection?
Another common question: how can you understand whether you love a person or is it just affection? First of all, you need to understand that pure relationships and emotions are almost never found. Love, jealousy, sexual attraction, desire, affection - we experience all this at the same time, but only in different proportions.
As we said above, selfless care is considered an important sign of true love. Attachment is considered a kind of psychological dependence on a chosen one or partner.
The main feature of attachment is not selflessness and happiness, but dependence and sometimes the suffering that a dependent person experiences. If attachment is accompanied by special feelings that deprive a person of freedom, we can talk about psychological obsession.
Attachment in relationships
Attachment in relationships is characterized by instability and dependence. One or both partners are characterized by full, comprehensive participation in common interests. There is a feeling that no one matters to them anymore. A person evaluates the strength of the need for a partner as proof of love. In fact, attachment in relationships can be a consequence of fear of loneliness. The attachment figure's old friends and interests are put on hold to serve the needs and desires of the "loved" person, so the feeling of self-sacrifice is perceived as a sign of love.
Preoccupation with the thoughts, behavior, and feelings of a “loved” person leads to dependence on his or her approval. The self-perception and self-esteem of a dependent partner reflects the reaction of the “beloved” person. Expressing real emotions and thoughts becomes too risky
Therefore, playing it safe is important and can take the form of repetition or even ritual. For example, a statement such as “if you don’t call me from work from nine to three every day, then you don’t really love me” is not uncommon.
With addiction comes intolerance for the time a couple spends apart from each other. Ownership, jealousy and patronage prevail over trust. A dependent person cannot tolerate being apart, even when there is conflict in the relationship or when the relationship is unhealthy. Experiencing unhealthy attachment in a relationship, a dependent person, at the slightest possibility of separation, clings tightly to his “other half”, feeling hopeless. Being apart can provoke physical symptoms such as impatience, lethargy or loss of appetite.
True love is difficult to part with; giving up attachment is easy.
The surest way to know if you are experiencing true love is to lose it. When she disappears from your life, you lose all meaning of existence for some time. It's like you've been stripped of your very soul. Sadness and grief presses from all sides. But if you don’t experience something similar after a breakup, then it was an ordinary attachment that did not carry anything serious.
Love is a manifestation of caring, and affection is exceptional selfishness.
True love does not tolerate selfishness. Once you enter into a serious relationship, your priorities will change dramatically. The whole philosophy of life is turned upside down. You will constantly think about your beloved, care and worry about him. But when you are no more than simply attached to your partner, then selfishness will prevail. Everyone wants to do what is best for themselves. It's easy to notice and draw conclusions before things go too far.
Love is not a light burden; affection comes easily only when you are together.
Love is a very complex type of emotion that occurs to every person. Often, it is very dynamic and it is extremely difficult for two people to maintain such a pace. There will be ups and downs in a relationship, but supporting each other will help you overcome all difficulties. During a non-serious relationship, when everything comes down to affection, you will not be able to get along for long at a distance.
Love gives freedom, but attachment paralyzes.
It is impossible to experience real feelings when you forbid each other to do certain things. Sincere love has no prohibitions. Mutual trust and bright feelings will overwhelm lovers, and therefore they have no problems with personal space. Ordinary attachment, on the contrary, paralyzes. Participants in a relationship cannot stay far from each other for long, and life without rules does not seem possible. This lack of love is a prison.
Love is support; attachment creates stagnation.
True love inspires people to be better people. But attachment does nothing: partners simply exist. Loving hearts can share their dreams, help each other achieve certain goals, etc. They form a kind of driving mechanism that only strengthens their feelings. Attachment people are locked in a little box and they don't want to be better.
Love lasts; affection is limited by time.
Love is one of those feelings that lasts forever. We are talking about a real and sincere manifestation of this bright feeling. There is no place for naked desire to satisfy your needs. Attachment has this. Therefore, it lasts as long as the partners are satisfied. But sooner or later the thirst will appear again, and they will begin to look for new experiences. And new partners.