Kinds
In relationships, marriage
It occurs more often than other types and is very difficult for a partner to live with, since a once close and beloved person suddenly stops paying attention and becomes completely alien and distant - this hits the most vulnerable places.
The qualities that previously attracted him seem to disappear and he turns into a completely different person. Unfamiliar and indifferent. It is very lonely next to him, unbearably lonely, and not everyone is able to cope with this feeling.
Male
From childhood, boys are taught not to cry and to endure suffering, instilling the idea that they should be strong and able to withstand anything. This is, of course, an interesting and attractive idea about the existence of ideal men, but in this case, they need to turn into emotionless robots, which is what some try to do in order to live up to the mythical image.
At work
I am not attracted to the activities that I come to do, so much so that I have to force myself, forcing me to get ready in the morning. Unfortunately, the consequences of working without enthusiasm are either dismissal or lack of prospects for career advancement, and this all only exacerbates the negative attitude towards the chosen profession.
Towards the environment
Killings of animals, destruction of nature, political issues: they may not bother a person at all. Either because he does not want to “get involved” in a process that requires large amounts of energy and time, or because they bother him so much that he chooses to isolate himself and not notice them.
In any case, whatever the reason, such a person relieves himself of responsibility for involvement in anything in this world. For example, when buying a mink coat, he does not think about the fact that this living creature was once brutally killed, and by paying for it, he makes his contribution to this business.
Or he doesn’t go to the polls, giving other people the right to make decisions regarding the future of the country in which he lives.
To the children
Sometimes it happens that for some reason a parent becomes unable to feel love for his children, performing only functional duties. Such children are usually seriously traumatized and believe that they are not worthy of love, do not deserve it, and so on. And when they grow up, they risk becoming the same, because they don’t know how to behave differently.
Synonyms
We don’t think that by considering the replacements, the reader will discover something new for himself, although anything is possible. So, the synonyms are as follows:
- Doesn't matter.
- Indifferent.
- Apathetic.
- Indifferent.
- Indifferent.
- Uninterested.
- Passively.
- Inert.
To one degree or another, these words replace the adverb “indifferent,” this is obvious. One could also add “boredom” here. But boredom is, in the words of I. Brodsky, an “active attitude” to existence, and disinterest presupposes passivity. Therefore, we did not include spiritual longing here, but the reader can use this kind of replacement if he needs it.
Causes
Depression
As you know, this is a disease, and it may well deprive a person of not only interest in everything that is happening, but also the desire to live. Therefore, it is important to be careful, if a loved one suddenly “fades away”, you should not throw hysterics, scandals, or give arguments and facts of his indifference and callousness.
This will only aggravate the situation and can lead to the worst consequences - provoking suicide, as an attempt to finally get rid of suffering. You can learn more about this from the article “How to find a way out of depression yourself: the most effective methods.”
Punishment or manipulation
Yes, in relationships they sometimes resort to similar measures, ceasing to pay attention and give love even for the slightest offenses, wanting to “motivate” to obey and do only as the manipulator wants.
Something like carrots and sticks, they either shower you with gifts and compliments, or suddenly become indifferent, ignoring your presence until you realize your mistake and correct yourself.
Such traps are usually set by perverse narcissists or psychopathic personalities. By the way, this is also the behavior of a banal egoist, an egocentric person who believes that the whole world revolves only around him, and for him.
Illusions
When a person is hurt, he sometimes has a great desire to be insensitive, so as not to experience disappointment, bitterness, total sadness, and so on. That’s why they become indifferent, people have the illusion that it’s easier to live this way.
For example, it seems that without thinking about where and with whom a loved one spends time, he will be calm and happy. But, in fact, by blocking negative emotions, a person deprives himself of pleasant, positive ones. Indifference can easily kill love; gradual distance and lack of emotions can defeat even the strongest feelings; they will simply fade away until they disappear completely.
Alexithymia
This is a disorder in which a person is not able to feel and track his emotions, he simply does not understand what is happening to him, since he can only think logically, without resorting to sensations and intuition.
Professional burnout
When a person overextends himself at work, he does not have the opportunity to replenish his energy reserves and rest, which over time leads to exhaustion. He simply does not have the resources to feel interest, joy and other feelings.
Psychological trauma
Something may happen that will cause unbearable feelings that a person is simply not able to cope with at a given period, and in order to preserve the psyche, the body, as it were, “turns off” the emotional sphere, freezes it.
7. Alcohol or drug abuse
Over time, due to any of these types of addictions, the structure of the brain is destroyed, which affects the psyche and emotional sphere. By the way, an excessive amount of medications also leaves its mark on the ability to feel.
Mental disorders
Because of them, a person becomes detached and unable to experience any emotions or sensations, plunging deeply into his own inner world and fantasies.
Personality structure
He was born like this, callous, unable to empathize and generally worry, plus his parents were the same, which is why they didn’t teach him to care, be interested in something, be attentive, etc.
Indifference Indifferent
We live in a world where callousness and indifference are increasingly becoming the norm of human relations, and our souls, like a shell, are covered with scabs of dried suffering and resentment.
Robert James Waller. Bridges of Madison County
Indifference as a personality quality is a tendency to show indifference, disinterest,
selective lack of interest in someone or something at a given moment in time;
setting the mind to eliminate the excessive importance of someone or something. One day, a student who had studied less than the rest of the students asked the Teacher: “Teacher, I have this difficulty .
I noticed that often when I sell something, it doesn’t matter to me whether the buyer buys the product or not.
I enjoy the process, and it is this pleasure that is most important to me . - “Do you sell a lot?” “I have long been considered the best salesman in my company. And in the company where I worked before, I also sold more than anyone.” - “How long have you had this indifference to the result?” - “About six months. That’s why I came to you.” - “I can’t help you much. It seems that you have already comprehended the Path.”
Indifference is a vicious personality quality if it manifests itself in the form of indifference to people. Liz Burbo writes: “An indifferent person has no feelings, no special interest in anyone or anything; it does not vibrate; he is not touched by others; something happens, but his life does not change in any way. He simply does not pay any attention to those people and things that do not interest him. It is usually difficult to experience human indifference. You feel unnecessary, uninteresting, insignificant and, most importantly, unloved. Many people prefer to provoke the anger or bitterness of another person rather than suffer from his indifference. People with the injuries of REJECTED or Abandoned suffer the most from the indifference of their neighbors. Remember that every person has the right to decide that someone or something does not interest them. This does not necessarily mean dislike or disgust; it only means that a person has made a choice and that it is nothing more than a choice. And it is especially important to remember that behind an indifferent appearance there is often hidden a sensitive, vulnerable personality.”
Indifference is the other side of interest. This is interest turned inside out. Interest and indifference are two different poles. The path to interest comes from indifference and vice versa. The girl was indifferent to football, but in order for her beloved guy to be interested in her, she became interested in football. At first the interest was for show, but after attending several matches, I became imbued with a genuine interest in this game. When they broke up and there was no one to go to the stadium with, interest in football gradually faded away. The pendulum has swung towards indifference. This is how we go through life, swinging the pendulum from indifference to interest and vice versa.
Often, ignorance makes us indifferent. We are indifferent to everything that we do not know, about which we have no idea. The guy was indifferent to opera, but one day a girl dragged him to see La Traviata. The performance captivated him so much that the following months could easily be described as overcoming a sprint distance, where the start was indifference and the finish was interest in the opera.
If the pole of indifference predominates in a person, we consider him indifferent. This does not mean that he does not have any interests. A person is indifferent to others, to things, but he has a hobby - stamps. People will definitely call him indifferent because this quality of his personality is demonstrated in a convincing way. Few people know that stamps replace all other joys of life. He will starve, but will not sell his collection. People's assessments are indifferent to him. For him, only brands matter. In other words, a person is always at a certain point on the “Interest - Indifference” scale. A person is rarely immediately indifferent to all his connections with the inner and outer world. It is difficult to find a person who would be immediately indifferent to family, to friends, to things, to spiritual values. If the manifested side of a person (more than 50%) is associated with indifference, we call him indifferent. When a person approaches the “Indifference” pole, this can lead to apathy, depression and even death. Therefore, working with indifference is the path to the opposite pole. Indifference caves in as interest rears its head.
Indifference is insulted by indifference. They are put in one synonymous row, although they differ significantly from each other. Indifference is the loss of the ability to love something or someone, and indifference is a selective lack of interest in someone or something at a given moment in time. An indifferent person can love one woman and be indifferent to the rest. So they call him indifferent. Indifference turns into a vice when a person is indifferent to people, their fates, and he becomes fixated, for example, on some fanatical idea. Indifference combined with Evil is a hellish cocktail. However, under normal conditions one cannot equate the inability to love with a temporary lack of interest in someone or something. Therefore, indifference does not carry such a heavy negative meaning as indifference.
Many people see only evil in indifference. In fact, this is a deep misconception. Our wise body finds a niche of safety in indifference when it is necessary to hide from depression, stress, shock, fear and situations with high tension. Protecting ourselves from the outside world, we become indifferent, detached from what is happening around us. We are overcome by paralysis of emotions, mental activity decreases, and there are no desires or urges to act. We become inactive, taciturn, lacking initiative and alienated from the outside world. Indifference protects us from feelings of despair and loneliness.
In other words, in such situations, indifference comes to the throat of interest and rages in full force. A little more and interest will go to the trash heap. In what life situations does such an imbalance between interest and indifference occur? First of all, the main ally of indifference is stress. Loss of a job, conflict, retirement, death of a loved one, natural disasters, problems with the law and much more can become a factor in the exaltation of indifference. Life is so multifaceted that taking medications can be factors in the growth of indifference. You can swallow sleeping pills, birth control pills, valerian, heart medications, antibiotics and become indifferent to everything. Alcoholism, drug addiction, chronic diseases, lack of realization of creative abilities, and old age also do not contribute to the growth of interest in life. Gerontologists and psychiatrists regard the indifference of older people as a way of protecting themselves from strong experiences. What would happen to us if there were no indifference? As a result of a strong shock, we spend a colossal amount of energy. The nervous system, entering a state of indifference, seems to press the brakes in order to restore wasted energy. Otherwise, we would face life-threatening nervous exhaustion. Another thing is that you cannot remain in a state of indifference for a long time. Sustained indifference to oneself stops personal growth and leads to degradation and ossification of the soul. There is only one way out here - to awaken interest. You need to push away from the pole of “indifference” and move towards the pole of “interest”.
In a pair of interest and indifference, both sides are equally important. For example, you brought your daughter to the figure skating section. The girl became interested in this sport after she saw the performances of figure skaters on TV. From the pole of indifference to figure skating, she rushed to the pole of interest in the hope of becoming the new Olympic champion. Years of hard training pass. The most complex elements are worked out to the point of automation. The girl makes it to the Olympic team. The significance of the upcoming performance, the interest in winning a gold medal limits its strength. Previously, her interest prompted her to take action and overcome difficulties. Now interest becomes her main obstacle. Success and Olympic gold depend on how much she reduces the importance of the upcoming performance and the importance of the opinions of coaches and television viewers. Interest prevents you from performing the program as in training – professionally, “automatically”. To do this, the girl must be in a state of indifference. There is strength in indifference
. Indifference unconsciously increases strength. It cannot be worked out in training. It must be born naturally - in unity with the mind. There is a saying in the Indian language: “Interest makes kings, but indifference makes emperors.” The girl will become the empress of figure skating only when she is able to naturally enter a state of indifference.
A child once asked his dad: “You carry the heaviest loads day after day, but you don’t get tired. What's your secret? The father looked calmly at his son and said “indifferent.” And he was right. A boxer who intends to win knows that if he thinks about how and where to hit, what consequences the fight may lead to, he will most likely lose the fight. Its strength lies in indifference, and the subconscious will do its job. Interest will make him “wooden” and inhibited, indifference will make him fast and unpredictable. He, like a wasp, will sting the enemy and will certainly win.
When a person cannot be hooked into importance or manipulated, then we are talking about an indifferent person. He cannot be led astray, because he is indifferent to obstacles. A weak person makes problems out of obstacles. An indifferent person has no problem because he is indifferent to the obstacle and therefore it disappears.
Indifference does not argue. The arguer does not defend his point of view, but his importance. This is his weakness. He is trying to prove something to someone, not understanding the absurdity of his intention. An indifferent person will not prove anything to anyone, make excuses or object. Even when the whole world tries to insult him for his indifference, he will say: “Your words are also indifferent to me.” While a person attaches importance to thoughts: “I am not loved or appreciated. I'm being treated unfairly. I don’t deserve this,” he is weak. As soon as a person eliminates the excessive importance that he attaches to himself and the objects of the external world, as soon as he becomes indifferent to people's rumors, he becomes strong. Indifference is true strength. Others tear their belly button to maintain their “coolness”, but still do not evoke respect and a sense of strength. When a person has no interest in holding, possessing, grabbing, tearing, then in the eyes of the outside world he will see respect, significance and charm. But he won't care.
Who teaches indifference? The teacher of indifference is interest. By realizing interests, we suppress indifference. And only when we reach the peak of realizing our interests do we revive indifference. Having known indifference, we learn what interest is. Then, as the parable says, we comprehend the Way.
Indifference is the fruit of our mind. It has nothing to do with the soul. When a person falls into a state of indifference after a shock situation, the mind blocks our feelings and emotions. And when we return to normal reactions to situations in the outside world, again the mind gives the green light for this. If indifference is a consequence of reason, then indifference is a consequence of “paralysis” of the soul. We can be partial and at the same time indifferent to pleasures. Indifference presupposes a volitional effort of denial, refusal, detachment from someone or something. A person may be partial to alcohol, but his mind forbids him to even think about it. As long as the mind is strong, a person will suppress the “beautiful impulses of the soul” and will be indifferent to alcohol. A man sees a luxury car at a car dealership. The soul sang: “Buy it. Cool car". But the mind says: “Calm down. Walk past and don’t twitch.” If he has already developed the practice of controlling his emotions, he passes by with indifference.
Indifference denies interest in personal life, in the family, in the work team, in the cultural and political life of the region, country and world. For example, a woman notices an interesting man. She develops a certain interest in him that goes beyond indifference. She doesn't love, she's not in love, she's just not indifferent. However, her mind whispers to her: “You have a husband and two children. Family is more valuable." If reason triumphs over lust, the woman will respond with indifference to all his verbal and non-verbal signals. Indifference cannot exist without its opposite. A person may show interest, but he does not care who will be right in family relationships or who won the elections, with what promises and slogans, etc.
Often people see indifference behind the high concentration of a scientist’s mind on any problem. At night, at home, the astronomer watched the starry sky. Meanwhile, a thief broke into the house. In the morning, having discovered the loss, the astronomer reported to the police. The thief was detained. During interrogation, he claimed that there was no one in the house at the time of the theft. To more accurately qualify the crime - theft or robbery - the investigator called an astronomer. - Where were you at the time of the crime? - At home. “But the thief claims that you were not at home.” — The thief focused on what is valuable to him. I am on what is important to me. I was "in the sky." He was "in action." We were in the same room, but we never saw each other.
Petr Kovalev 2013 Other articles by the author: https://www.podskazki.info/karta-statej/
What to do?
First . If your loved one has changed, try talking to him about the reasons for the change. Maybe he has a serious problem that he is trying to hide in this way, pretending to be indifferent? It is only important to refrain from making claims, scandals, hysterics and other things, so start a conversation only when you realize that you are ready to hear the truth or have the strength to cope with it.
Second . If you are trying to influence your partner using perceived indifference, then think about how it hurts. Are you sure that you are deliberately ready to cause pain and sometimes unbearable suffering to your loved one? There are examples when they punished for treason in this way, but ignoring it does not relieve the suffering of the one who was offended. Even if it seems to him that he is not experiencing anything. Only forgiveness will allow you to free yourself. It is not necessary to continue to be together, but it is necessary to forgive in order to release the burden, take care of yourself, and move on.
Third . If this happened to you, try to understand what is behind your insensitivity? What are you hiding from, or, on the contrary, hiding? Only by realizing the cause can you find a way to heal.
Fourth . Work on your self-esteem, especially after encountering total loneliness as a couple, and in general. You will learn recommendations on how to increase it in the article “The best methods for achieving success that will help you finally believe in yourself.”
Fifth . Be honest and sincere with yourself, you shouldn’t put on a mask and play the role of a happy person if your soul is sad, you won’t hide from melancholy, but you won’t feel joy either. It’s better to have courage and look into the eyes of those emotions that you are avoiding; only by living through them can you free yourself and “break the spell.” If you are afraid that you cannot cope alone, enlist the support of your loved ones or a qualified specialist. The main thing is to act before the swamp of apathy sinks deep.
Sixth . In the case of psychological trauma, it will take time. Learn to simply be close to the one who has suffered, and wait without reproaching or putting pressure on him.
The flip side of success
Western civilization has long been about efficiency and effectiveness. Therefore, when a person is in a corporation in the broad sense of the word, he is indifferent to many things. This is fine. When deadlines are constantly pressing, there is a lot of work. The human psyche sweeps away the unnecessary and focuses on the main thing. I don’t even have the strength to sympathize with my parents. In the 19th century, the hero of our time was Pechorin, and in the 21st century it was Meursault. Is there a way out? Certainly! Understand the relativity of corporate values. And most importantly, understand that money is not everything.
