- Attention-hungry women
- What does it mean to “pay attention”?
- How often does a woman need attention?
- Let's talk a little about quarrels
- Why do women need a lot of attention?
- Bottom line
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Almost every man faces such a problem as a woman’s reproach that he pays little attention to her. In fact, if the reader of the men's magazine masculino.ru does not close his eyes and deny the obvious, then over time he actually begins to pay less attention to the woman. Undoubtedly, there are many excuses here, and quite compelling ones, which should help a man rehabilitate his behavior. But the fact remains: the woman is unhappy, which creates another problem in the relationship.
Many men don’t understand why women make a problem and a tragedy out of such a small thing. In fact, we are talking about a rather important aspect of the relationship, as if a woman stopped sleeping with a man. The problem of lack of sex in relationships is of great concern to men; for women, the problem is just as worrying when men do not pay attention to them. And while each side considers the discontent and indignation of its other half to be petty, the problems only get worse.
So, a woman reproaches a man for paying little attention to her. In fact, this is a problem that needs to be solved, because otherwise there may be not very pleasant consequences, which may include:
- Treason. A woman will simply start dating a man who pays attention to her.
- Parting. Women are ready to break up with men only because they do not pay attention to them.
- Sawing. Many people are familiar with this phenomenon. If you don’t want a woman to nag you, start paying more attention to her.
- Ignoring. Believe me, a woman can also begin to treat you like empty space. If you don’t want a woman to not notice you at all, then listen to her requests.
Attention-hungry women
Someone else's attention to one's person is the desire of every woman. On the one hand, this is quite natural, since every person wants to be in demand, his life is empty and meaningless until he feels that someone needs him. On the other hand, a person who craves attention is highly dependent on the opinions of others about himself. If no one pays attention to him, he gets lost and looks for ways to renew what he has lost in any way. This includes crimes and an extravagant appearance, because this is another opportunity to become the center of attention of people around you.
Why is a woman included in the “attention-hungry” category? The reason is that she is not herself. Please note that not a single star, actress, or even a beautiful girl in your area is what they are, in the pose of photo and video cameras, or in the eyes of other people and fans. If you go to their house unexpectedly, they will appear before you in a completely different form: exhausted, wearing only shorts or with bruises under their eyes. These people live for the sake of others, but at the same time they do not know themselves. They know what other people expect from them, what they say and write about them, but they never express their own opinions about themselves. We can say that these are not individuals, but simply humanoid creatures who only fulfill the wishes of strangers.
Attention is the energy supply for the ego. Dependence on a false personality pushes people to be the center of everyone's attention. His ego is stroked and satisfied when people around him start talking about him, even if these are not entirely good and pleasant things. For many “stars” of cities and countries, it is not the importance of the attention that is paid to them, but simply its very presence, because this tells them that they attract eyes and thoughts. What else could be more beautiful for the human ego?
Psychologist's advice
The psychology of men is such that it’s not that they pay little attention, they just hide it. Women are more emotional, while guys are more reserved. If a partner rarely pays attention or shows it less exquisitely, this does not mean that he does not love. Guys find it difficult to express feelings in words.
Relationships will normalize if you don’t get hung up on sex and emotions. Guys also need care and support. If they insist that nothing worries them, there are no problems, it is better not to insist on making them public. It’s better to distance yourself; over time, the man will tell you everything himself. Every person makes mistakes. Patience and mutual understanding will help maintain a warm relationship.
It is difficult for some girls to realize that the reason for the decrease in attention to them lies in themselves. Their whims, tearfulness, selfishness, jealousy, excessive demands and disrespect for the interests of guys cause rejection and hostility in the opposite sex. Men's attraction to partners decreases. If both accept each other's interests and find common ones, then this will bring them closer.
Relationships collapse due to the adherence to principles and categoricalness of partners. When they refuse to make concessions, the desire to care for a loved one disappears. If you analyze the relationship, you can notice how many scandals there were, how much time the guy was around. With a lot of quarrels, he could get tired and withdraw into himself. You can get him back if you reconsider your attitude and reduce the number of claims and scandals. Of course, appearance is also a strong indicator of attention. A man loves and wants to see a well-groomed companion in front of him.
The girl thinks that since the guy pays little attention to me, it means he has found another passion. However, this is far from the only reason for his indifference. If you want to be together, you both need to work on yourself. But when efforts do not help fight, they should be saved for starting a new life.
What does it mean to “pay attention”?
In love relationships, one of the main complaints of partners towards each other is lack of attention. Some of the parties are so busy with themselves and their own affairs that they are not able to devote much time and attention to their other half. However, if you trace the stories of many couples, you will notice that there are people who also receive little attention from their partners, but they are satisfied with it. They do not have the feeling that their partners have forgotten about them. It turns out that in fact the same amount of attention is given, but some feel unwanted, while others feel loved.
In what case is a person satisfied with the attention of his significant other? By “paying attention” it is most often understood that the partners are together in one place, doing something, relaxing, etc. But even here you may not be satisfied, since you can watch TV together and prepare a meal, and then go to bed . That is, the partners were together in the same place and at the same time, but they do not feel that they were given attention. In fact, the partners just sat next to each other while watching TV and spent time together in the kitchen while they prepared food.
People are often dissatisfied with the attention of their loved ones because they don't necessarily need to be close to each other. There is something else hidden underneath the feeling of neediness. In addition to the fact that your partner can be next to you in the same place, there are also such concepts as the direction of energy, turning your attention and openness. It is these three components that can make it so that your partner will not be next to you every day, but you will feel loved and needed by him.
Where does the other person focus their energy? While you sit together and watch TV, your partner's energy is directed towards the TV. You can hug, cuddle with each other. But a person directs all his energy not to hug, kiss and talk to you, but to watch TV. This does not happen when, for example, you are walking together or sitting in a cafe. Your partner talks to you, turns his attention to you, which is why you fill your “need cylinders.” So, while your partner is not directing his energy towards you, he can be with you all the time, but you will still feel like you are missing him.
Paying attention is associated with energy. If your partner is constantly distracted by phone calls, communicating with other people, reading leaflets that are handed out on the street, etc., then you cannot feel that he is with you. Your partner's body is physically next to you, but his thoughts and attention are elsewhere.
It is very important that partners are open to each other. This is not about honesty, although that is also important. The point is that when you communicate, you do not hide anything from each other. Your partner talks about any topic with you, you talk about any topic with your partner. You see that they listen to you, understand you, and communicate with you. Then, when you see that your partner is open to you, he talks about all his affairs for the day, about his feelings and experiences, you feel that he needs you. He wouldn’t open up to other people, but he tells you everything indiscriminately. And for this, your partner does not have to be near you. He can call you or send you a letter, which will be as effective as if he were next to you.
Thus, to be satisfied with a man’s attention means not just to be physically next to him, but also to feel and see that he directs his energy and all his attention to her, and is also so open to her that he does not think about what he wants. tell. This is what allows people to feel needed and not need their beloved partners to be with them around the clock.
What to do if a girl demands him?
The first step is to listen and take a closer look at your behavior.
Perhaps the man, without noticing it, lost interest in the girl or became closed to conversations, stopped showing feelings and caring.
A man may stop showing love due to difficulties at work or in relationships with friends or parents.
After the girl has expressed her concern about the current situation, you need to analyze the last month of the relationship. Search for the reasons that led to a decrease in time spent together.
In other words, understand yourself. There can be two main reasons:
- Problems that take a lot of time .
This is an objective factor. In this case, you should tell the girl about them. If she sincerely loves a man, she will not only listen and motivate him to solve problems, but also offer her help. And, of course, such a heart-to-heart conversation will eliminate the understatement, since it will reveal the real reasons for the man’s employment. - Lost interest in the girl. And “things” are just an excuse not to spend time together. In this case, the guy should decide whether he wants to continue dating or whether he should end the relationship. But first, understand why interest has disappeared and whether it is possible to return to the previous level, when hours in the company of your significant other flew by.
After stating your position and calmly explaining the reasons, you need to monitor the girl’s reaction.
If she understands the man’s position and treats him with sincere care and respects him as a person, she will take part, at least emotionally.
At this stage, you can recognize an unpleasant type of girl with a selfish character. Such ladies need not just attention, but daily presence nearby.
They do not want to hear about the difficulties and failures of their partner; they treat him consumeristly in every sense . Including - they claim his main irreplaceable resource - time.
If the girl reacted understandingly, without causing a scandal, then in the future it is necessary to adjust the strategy of behavior with her. Namely, show more interest and attention.
How to do this is described in the last section of the article.
How often does a woman need attention?
Men resist women's desire to pay them sufficient attention for one reason: it seems to them that they will have to spend a lot of effort and energy on this. In fact, everything can be made simpler. So, your woman wants you to pay more attention to her than usual. What to do?
- When you pay attention to a woman, start seducing her and having sex. This way, you will be interested in spending time with her and having fun. And the woman will feel attention on herself.
- When you pay attention to a woman, discuss with her topics that interest you. There is no need to talk only about what is interesting to your woman. Spend half your time on things that interest you to discuss.
You don't have to spend a lot of time paying attention to a woman. Believe me, an hour a day is enough for a woman to be satisfied with your attention. What should you do for this? Just put aside all your affairs, worries and activities and concentrate only on the woman.
Do you remember how at the beginning of a relationship you and a woman walked, visited different places, just talked, touched, kissed, etc.? Start doing the same now. Just start giving your attention exclusively to the woman. Set aside an hour during which you will not do your own business, but devote it to your woman. You will communicate, walk, do something, etc. Give your woman joy, fun, pleasant emotions and impressions during this time together.
If you do this to a woman every day, then her resentment will go away. Of course, she may not get enough of that amount of attention. However, the fact that you do spend time with her will be enough not to make you a complete scoundrel.
Original signs of attention
If you want to give a gift to a girl, then make it unusual. Originality is the first thing you can do to surprise your loved one.
Give her a surprise. If a girl likes practical gifts, then the present can be related to household appliances. Of course, first it is advisable to find out what exactly your beloved wants. Her friends will be happy to tell you.
As a rule, many men invite the girl they like on a date to a cafe or restaurant. You can make the date unusual. For example, invite her to the theater or the circus. Perhaps your loved one will like an amusement park. Even adults love to have fun like children.
Almost every person will enjoy boating or motorboating. Invite the girl to spend her leisure time on the water. Take provisions with you and set sail. After such a walk you feel tired, but it is very pleasant. Such entertainment will raise you in the eyes of your beloved.
Serenades under the window used to be in fashion. Why not take advantage of the hint from the past? After all, at that time men knew how to surprise and conquer women! Come with a guitar and sing a heart-warming song under the window. Few will remain indifferent after the serenade.
Write a poem for your beloved. Girls like such original signs of attention. After all, it’s not every day that poems are written in her honor.
Remain attentive to your chosen one at any time. Try not to push her away, help her in everything, support her. Make your chosen one's life varied. A man who shows original signs of attention has a better chance of winning a lady.
Let's talk a little about quarrels
Interesting fact: arguing is a way to attract attention. Marvelous? But psychologists have more than once encountered the fact that quarrels between spouses often arise due to a woman’s desire to attract the attention of a man.
How does this happen? First, the woman asks the man for attention, is dissatisfied, and cries. If all her attempts to get a man to finally spend time with her in a good way remain in vain, then she may intuitively start to make trouble with him. As they say, even a bad attitude is already at least some attention. If a woman does not get hers in an amicable way, then she will quarrel with a man over trifles in order to get at least some attention to her person.
Why lack of attention is bad for relationships
Photo by Justin Groep on Unsplash
Showing attention is an expression of love and care. Something without which normal relationships cannot exist. At the initial stage, a person’s own interest is enough; we “fall in love with our love.”
But later it turns out that this is not enough. If you don't add new wood to the fire, it will go out. It’s the same with feelings: they definitely need to be warmed up. Showing attention is a signal: you are not alone, I understand what is happening to you. Some men believe that women are dramatic and that they never get enough.
Complaining to friends, they say: “I work around the clock so that she has everything. And she whines that she doesn't have enough attention. But if I devoted all my time to her, who would buy her beautiful dresses and pay for vacations on the seas? Fair? Quite. And such a point of view does exist. But one does not exclude the other. If you wish, you can learn to maintain balance.
What happens in a family where a woman lacks attention and therefore constantly feels unloved? Conflicts, petty squabbles and quarrels over trifles. Lack of attention equals lack of communication, and this is the basis of any relationship. Some women begin to obtain on the side what they do not receive from their husbands. This behavior can be assessed in different ways, but the fact remains: everyone suffers.
Is that why a man pays little attention to you?
Why do women need a lot of attention?
Many men do not understand why women are so pathologically waiting for attention to their person. But here everything is very simple: attention = love! And here's how it can be explained.
If you remember yourself, dear men, at the beginning of a relationship, then you pay a lot of attention to the women you like. We can say that women bask in your desire to be with them when you first met and want to conquer them.
If a man pays a lot of attention to a woman, she thinks that he is interested in her and loves her. And this is true, since a man runs around and cares only for the woman he is in love with. Herein lies the answer to why women cannot receive less attention over time: if men do not spend time with them, they feel that they have stopped loving them.
Attention = love. At the beginning of a relationship, a woman determines a man’s feelings by how much attention he pays to her. If over time the attention becomes less, then the woman begins to understand that the man is no longer interested in her. And, perhaps, this is also true: over time, a man really loses the interest and passion that he had at the beginning, when he was just getting to know and conquering a woman.
Reasons for lack of attention from a guy
If a man stops giving time and attention to a girl, the first thing she thinks is that he has found a replacement for her. However, there can be many reasons: fatigue, problems at work, workload. Instead of causing a scandal, it is necessary to reconsider the possible reasons, both objective and far-fetched.
READ
What to do if a guy doesn’t write or call after a date
Objective
Objective reasons why the guy became cold include:
- very long-term relationship;
- the emergence of new hobbies and values;
- behavior change;
- fading of feelings;
- big requests.
Couples who were once in love are faced with a situation where the love spark is lost. Most often this happens to spouses, since monotonous days with routine work and household chores lead to despondency. Constant fatigue makes life together boring. The problem will be solved by distributing responsibilities between family members, going out into nature or other types of recreation.
When a person develops new interests, he dives headlong into exploring them. For example, a partner went to study, got a new job, started a business, downloaded a new computer game. All his attention is focused on his hobby, and not on the lady. In this case, you just need to wait. A little time will pass, he will get tired of the game, he will get used to work, learn to manage time and will again be able to pay attention to his partner.
During the candy-bouquet period, people show their best side, reveal their positive sides, hide their negative ones. Over time, the girl will make some indecent gesture that the guy will not like. This will ruin his opinion of her.
The most unpleasant reason why a guy does not pay attention to a girl is the fading of love and the appearance of another woman. This situation is difficult to correct.
Far-fetched
The far-fetched reasons why the guy began to pay less attention to the girl are due to temporary circumstances. These include:
- self-hypnosis;
- depression;
- fatigue.
A girl can convince herself that a guy is not paying attention to her. Before drawing any conclusions, the problem is discussed with the man: you need to find out what worries him and talk about your concerns. But you can’t bother with questions, you need to strive to do without a scandal. If the guy is not in a good mood, it is better to reschedule the conversation.
When a gentleman faces difficult moments in life, for example, a car breaks down, a boss scolds him, clients are lost, friends are jealous, he may become depressed. It's rare that a man admits this. A woman should help him, and not demand attention. He needs support.
Again, if not depression, then the gentleman may become mentally exhausted. It was a hard day at work, he needed to rest. A girl demanding attention to her only makes the situation worse. If she gives him a couple of hours to rest, it will help avoid problems.
Surprises as a way to take care of a girl
1. Give small gifts - sweets, vitamins, fruits, berries, nuts. It perfectly lifts your spirits and envelops you in a feeling of care and tenderness.
2. Write her a love note . Precisely a note, handwritten. This is all taste and romance. Here are some options to get you started:
“I think about you all day…” “Have a nice day, my angel” “I’m really looking forward to seeing you in the evening”
It is ideal if you place the note in such a way that it will be a surprise to find it. For example, if you know that she will read a book, then place it between the pages. If you sleep together, write a note and put it on the soap in the bathroom, or just in your purse.
3. Flowers. A universal method to show your care and love to a girl. What flowers to give – read my article. The simpler and more delicate the flower (field chamomile, for example), the brighter and more touching your concern looks. Don’t forget about modern opportunities – flower delivery to the office, for example.
4. Buy a bottle of wine, grapes and cheese. Have a cozy dinner after a hard day (if you're over 21!). Make mulled wine on a cold evening to warm her up. Well, or brew tea in a thermos and go for a walk in the nearest park.
5. Cook something she likes. Or you can just any dish, but according to her recipe. Rest assured, the girl will rate your creation 100 points!
How to show you care if she is much more than just a friend to you
1. Value her opinion and respect her decisions.
Respect her views and never force her to comply with your decision. If you care about her, you will never make her feel that her ideas are ridiculous or uninteresting.
2. Introduce her to important people in your life. To show that you care about her, you must allow her into your world. These could be your friends, colleagues, and most importantly, your family.
3. Plan your leisure time together - attending events, quests, walks, trips to stores, shopping lists.
4. Make a playlist for the car based on its favorite artists, music genres or compositions. The girl will be incredibly pleased to hear her favorite track when she rides with you.
5. Be there for her in difficult or simply emotional moments of life. Sometimes a silent presence nearby is more important than any words.
6. Be proud of her and don't be afraid to show it. Showing a girl that you care also means recognizing her achievements and congratulating her on her successes. Feel free to tell everyone how lucky you are to have found such a wonderful girl.
7. Remember the dates that matter. Add them to your to-do list or reminders on your phone. This is important: caring is remembering your special days. You can't even imagine how happy you will make her.
8. Make her feel wanted . Make her feel that she is an important part of your life, that her presence is very important to you. This can be done simply with words. Show that you want her not only as a girlfriend, but as a life partner.
9. If she comes to spend the night with you / lives with you, then buy her the little things she needs - a brush, comb, slippers, cozy pajamas, a book, a phone charger. It's very sweet and shows your sensitivity.