Author of the material:
Svetlana Smyshlyak
philologist, writer, lyric poet
For many men, the question of how to impress a girl on the first date is very relevant. After all, the first acquaintance happens very quickly, at least it is recommended that it be so when you exchange some contacts or, even if you meet in some common company, usually the first acquaintance occurs unpreparedly. But the first date is the moment for which the girl will definitely come prepared, and accordingly, you must properly prepare for this event.
Women attach great importance to the first date, because it can often show what a guy will be ready for in the future, in a possible relationship. Therefore, you must prepare as thoroughly as possible to make the right impression.
The big advantage of a first date is that you know in advance the place and time where it will take place, because you have already agreed on it. Accordingly, you can choose the right clothes for this event. Agree, wearing shorts to a restaurant or wearing a business suit to a picnic would be quite strange. So, the first rule:
Prepare for the conversation.
This point is for those men who have poor tongue and find it difficult to maintain a conversation about nothing. And there are quite a lot of such men. And since there is unlikely to be time to professionally develop a delusion generator, we will limit ourselves to a little preparation. After all, coming up with a few initial phrases is not so difficult, but it is this moment, the first few minutes, that are the most nervous. Imagine how you greet a girl, replay the conversation a couple of minutes ahead, this will be very helpful during the meeting itself. In addition, you should select a dozen questions that you can ask the girl during the conversation itself.
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And also five topics that you are interested in and that you can tell your girl about . These can be stories from life that describe you from a positive side, or simply interesting incidents from the lives of people around you. But the important point is that, of course, you can embellish something, but you shouldn’t lie directly. Because this can make your life very difficult in the future.
Summing up the preparation, I would like to note that you will come to the first date prepared, cleanly dressed, in a familiar, familiar place, with ready-made conversation templates for the first few minutes and several topics for further communication.
Even if you made mistakes when dating, this is exactly the moment when you can correct everything. The first few minutes of the meeting will have serious consequences in the future.
What will help you on a date?
- Building Your Real Resources
A resource is your inner quality that makes you a strong, strong-willed and unique man. Everyone has faced difficult situations in life. Remember what helped you emerge victorious or just worthy?
What qualities helped in this?
Also think about what motivates you to constantly move forward? What helps you achieve results?
The answers to these questions are your resources. Feel, feel them. Put them at the center of you.
When you communicate on a date with the girl you like, rely on them. Keep them in your head. These are the real masculine qualities that a girl will feel in you. That fantastic importance of yours is in her eyes.
- When talking to a girl, show your interest
Just don’t give cloying compliments, but tell her realistically about why you feel good and comfortable with her. (You can find a list of attractive compliments for girls on the website).
If you are very confused and cannot praise her voice, appearance, humor, positivity and other things that appeal to you, you can just say: “I feel good and comfortable with you.”
Remember the importance of non-verbal cues and speak with enthusiasm rather than indifference.
- Chat about topics that interest you.
If a girl does not react at all to the plots or stories you propose for some time, ask yourself a question:
“Maybe it’s easier to meet someone else?”
A date turns out to be bright and memorable if the interest is mutual, and not when you go out of your way to captivate and interest, and she is distracted by her phone or looks away.
Do you want a girl who is NOT interested in you? How to behave in this case?
Tell:
“You know, we’ve been sitting here talking for half an hour. But I don't feel any interest from you. I'm used to enjoying communication when they reciprocate. However, I really liked you. Therefore, I want to wish you good luck and all the best.”
Get up, pay and leave. This is a beautiful act. Let him stay with nothing, well, it happens.
- Offer.
Voice your plans for her by the end of the meeting. Let the girl understand that you are a man of action, and you can not just sit and chat with you in a cafe, but have an interesting and bright time. During a date, find common areas of interest between you and her. And feel free to suggest something interesting to do next time.
This is so that you don’t regret later that she, the toadstool, didn’t appreciate you. Did you offer? Estimate.
Always smile.
We must admit that this rule seems to be the simplest, but in reality this is far from the case. A large number of people do not smile or do it forcedly, and therefore not sincerely, and it shows. If you doubt your abilities, practice at home in front of a mirror. There is nothing strange about this, smiling beautifully is the same skill as writing or reading, and if it turns out badly, you just need to practice it. Training will fix everything. After all, there is nothing more attractive than a person’s open smile.
What is wrong with me?
We can talk for a long time about mistakes on the first date (I wrote about them - see the link). But I noticed that the more you start delving into this, the less you want to meet and deal with girls at all. You plunge into the abyss of your complexes (often fictitious) and instead of a solution you get a headache and reflection.
The main enemies of the first meetings include:
— an attempt to impress a girl (tension and unnaturalness);
- priority of sex, vulgar hints;
- lack of sincerity, playing the fake guy;
- disinterest in this particular girl as a person, focus on the result (next meeting, bed), and not on the process (date here and now).
Guys often write me long stories about what and how they did on dates - techniques and analysis of each of their phrases, actions that have “meaning” and at the end the question - why did she stop answering after that?
“I repeated the entire algorithm flawlessly - first calibration, then humor, then...”
Stop! There are no algorithms! I want you to read the following lines and stop for a moment and think a little about what they entail.
Be honest with yourself. Once you open yourself to sincerity in your eyes, you will go up.
Don't make yourself up (as it sounds!). This topic and philosophy is described in detail in Seneca's Moral Letters to Lucius if you want to learn more about it.
Eye contact.
A girl needs to look into her eyes. Yes, this may not be easy, again training can help to maintain eye contact. By the way, unlike popular pickup theories, which claim that one must immediately show dominance over a girl, including with a “piercing” gaze, and in no case should one look away first, in life everything can happen differently. Here I would like to give advice to those who find it difficult to hold their gaze for a long time: you can look away, the main thing is not to do it downward. Look up or to the side as if something has distracted your attention, and return after a few moments. This will in no way diminish your authority, but it will make it easier to hold your gaze. Although it should be noted that in most cases the girls themselves avert their eyes.
When to kiss a girl for the first time
If you want not only to please a girl, but also to make her fall in love with you, you need to choose the right moment for a kiss.
After you walk a girl home after the first date, she says everything went great? Do you think this is the right time to kiss her? The best thing to do is kiss her on the cheek. Of course, after her permission. There is no need to rush things.
It is better to kiss a girl who is attracted to you after 2 or 3 dates. Then she won’t torment herself for allowing it too quickly. After all, these torments will negatively affect your communication in the future. A girl may become tight and cool towards you after a short time, suspecting you of using her for a short time.
Therefore, wait for a signal from the girl after the 2nd date when she allows you to kiss her on the lips. Then she will like you even more.
Breath.
It is clear that the first date is an extremely exciting moment for most guys. But even so, you will have to control your physics. First of all, this concerns breathing. It should be deep and measured. This is where the fact that you are in a familiar, familiar place and have prepared in advance for the meeting will help you well. After all, it is precisely the lack of confidence in one’s abilities, multiplied by the natural excitement of the moment, that takes one’s breath away, makes it intermittent, and this is noticeable. In addition, it affects your speech.
Become a multi-faceted diamond
One of the most significant trump cards of a man is versatility . Like a diamond, no matter where you turn, it shines with its facets everywhere and they are all incredibly beautiful. If applied to a person, then these numerous facets can be called the volume of personality. Moreover, this does not depend on character or temperament. And the more of these facets, the more voluminous and interesting your personality.
Our parents were taught to be the same, similar. Everything was the same and simple. Therefore, human versatility is in trend now. What edges are we talking about? For example, the ability to take matters into one’s own hands in difficult situations. The ability to play and win in ordinary everyday life. The ability to experience deep emotions and the ability to show them at the right moment, for example, when a girl needs romance or sympathy. Form your unique facets and learn to sparkle with these facets. This will make you a charismatic person.
Diversity is not about knowledge in thousands of topics. This is a concentration of different emotions, sides and interests of your personality. Simply put, your different qualities (sometimes opposite to each other).
This can be seen in your various hobbies. Perhaps you love racing your bike and collecting butterflies at the same time. This is expressed in your image and lifestyle. Today you have an extreme two-day rafting trip on a mountain river with accommodation in tents, and on Saturday you have a meeting at the wood carving club.
How to improve your versatility? Start communicating with people who have different facets of hobbies that are also interesting to you.
There is a universal method called “immersion in the environment.” You listen and listen to people who have these skills. When you are around them, you unwittingly develop yourself.
Yes, you can play with versatility, but there will be no point in this game. After all, it’s ideal when you are loved sincerely, with all your shortcomings and imperfections.
Develop: look for new aspects of life that are interesting to you, which you have never even thought about before. Acting, yoga, swimming pool. Discover unfamiliar places, activities, communicate with people different from your lifestyle.
The wider the range of hobbies your friends have, the better. The more people from different fields you surround yourself with, the faster your growth and movement forward will be. Well, on a date you won’t have to force yourself to talk about topics - you will automatically and involuntarily become a very interesting interlocutor.
Speech.
The main thing to have a good conversation is not to mumble. This is something that can kill any impression. Speech should be confident, clear, slow, but not drawn out. You need to speak calmly, pronouncing your words clearly. You trained in advance - you know what you say, so say it confidently. Voice is also important. It would be nice to develop a so-called chest voice, but this takes time; as a simple matter, just try speaking half a tone lower than usual. This can create the desired effect.
How to interest a girl?
All thoughts are only about one girl, that I want to be only with her. To do this, you can use the advice of experienced people.
Initially, they invite a girl and try to get a positive response. The meeting place becomes both her favorite cafe and an unusual date area. Making a great impression on your companion will immediately incline her to a positive answer. It is important to be on the same page with her and emphasize the similarity of interests.
Sincerity has always attracted the female sex, but you should not say unpleasant things to your companion. If a girl is interested in such an opinion, then a dialogue will definitely take place.
Basic rules for a successful date
Pick-up artists offer several basic techniques that help create the right environment and liberate your chosen one.
Following a clear plan makes the task much easier, but you always need to remember the individual characteristics of your lady and make adjustments if necessary.
Intimate atmosphere
The primary task is to instill confidence in yourself and create a positive emotional background. As a rule, the first meeting takes place in a cafe or restaurant . Being in a crowded room, it is difficult to achieve the desired level of privacy and get closer. Therefore, it is advisable to choose a table in a closed area so that strangers do not distract attention.
Diversity
It is useful to divide a date into several separate locations: a walk, a movie, dinner in a cafe. This creates the feeling that there have already been several meetings. This relaxes and helps to relate to possible intimacy more easily.
Correct self-feeding
If you immediately hint that the purpose of the date is sex, in 99 cases out of 100 the meeting will end in failure. Even the most liberated young lady will not appreciate that she is perceived only as a means of satisfaction. We need to make her feel welcome and interesting.
Therefore, the best line of behavior is sincere interest and enjoyment of communication. This will help the lady relax and feel like she is in charge of the situation.
What to do if you like a girl
Every girl knows her ideal guy by appearance and character. Some people like active, cheerful and reckless individuals who do crazy things every day. Others intend to build serious relationships with quiet and modest people who prefer to spend the evening not in a noisy company, but alone with their beloved.
Even knowing the ideal guy of the girl you like, it is impossible to embody this ideal in yourself in a few days.
You cannot pretend to be someone you are not, your true nature will be revealed, and it will be extremely difficult for the person himself to wear a mask every day and do something that is not typical for him. Even the best cover will be blown.
The first thing you should do if you like a girl is to make a pleasant acquaintance with her. The first impression is very important, because if you behave aggressively, arrogantly, you can forever become an outcast. You can find out in advance about the girl’s tastes, talk about topics that are familiar to her and in which you are best informed.
There is no need to try to support and express intelligent thoughts on topics that are unfamiliar, because this can cause not respect in the eyes of your opponent, but hostility and the risk of being labeled a fool.
The second point is an invitation to a date. There is no need to invite extra people, the meeting should be one-on-one, because people should communicate in an informal setting and get to know each other. The best time for frank dialogues is the evening; it is at such times, according to psychologists, that people are most open to personal topics. During the conversation, you need to be sensitive and not ask questions that could offend or embarrass the girl.
About love and falling in love, what is it?
It is common for everyone to fall in love, break up and date. Everyone believes that they deserve the best, and no one wants to settle for mediocrity. It’s just hard to be the best; it’s much easier to think that you’re already good enough to have the right to vote to want more. In this case, the girl is your best reward and reason for change.
Small people surround themselves with even smaller ones in order to appear in such a friendly environment a little taller and more capable than others. Strong and high, reach for even higher ones in order to realize the real height of your flight and once again not be mistaken about yourself.
Relationships are the same level of gambling - whose friends are better? It's embarrassing to admit that your boyfriend or girlfriend can't do anything, but only complain or blame. Some leave, come to others, a constant movement, the goal of which is to find not only the best, but also the loving one.
To be the best and remain loving is truly one of the main tasks of not only men, but also women. In this vein, your love is not an escape from yourself, an escape from spiritual or physical lowlands, but the key to happiness, surrounded by your loved one and the best person in the world.
Love is too difficult entertainment, which can only be mastered by a select few. For everyone else, there is a beautiful love. A transient and narrowed model of real feelings, just what you need to look, touch, smell and forget.
It’s just not possible to try - this is only one tenth of the possible feeling. The maximum you can count on is to bite off a piece of the fruit, covered with a bitter and tough skin. Cough, spit out and go on your way, looking for something that acquaintances and chance encounters do not lead to. Love is the final stop when you are ready to sacrifice your life for the sake of your loved one without hesitation!
Traditional role reversal: knight and princess
Many men still live by stereotypes about the traditional distribution of roles: the prince conquers the princess while she obediently awaits her fate in the castle.
Therefore, modern conquerors are trying to attract attention by creating the image of a prince: successful, possessing all material benefits. Many people focus on pumped up biceps and toned abs, trying to impress with the appearance of a real male.
Of course, these attributes may make an impression, but they do not guarantee a successful end to the evening. Most ladies are not so concerned about the financial situation and social status of their companion. Much more important are personal qualities and the ability to present oneself correctly, to be calm, confident and even a little impudent, and not a romantic prince. To be sexy, a girl just needs to follow a few rules.
