Not all relationships are meant to last forever, some are worth walking away from (or maybe even run away from), but others are truly worth fighting for.
But how do you know if you should get back with your ex? When is it better to say goodbye forever, and when is it okay to give it another chance?
Deciding whether to get back in a relationship after a breakup doesn't have to be difficult and involve sleepless nights, talking to friends or consulting with a psychologist. In fact, you probably already know the answer.
Some relationships have a decent margin of safety, even if you have already broken up with each other and said a lot of things that you later regretted. When such a union is given a second chance, it actually has a better chance of success than a relationship that has just begun.
So, let's figure out how you can determine whether you should date your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. There are two encouraging signs that your relationship is (maybe) worth a second chance.
Mutual respect
No matter how it ended, you still respect yourself and your ex-partner.
Respect is the basis for love and trust.
You respect yourself, so you can take responsibility for the breakup that happened. And the main beauty is that after some time of complete rupture, truly strong love can be reborn.
When trying to restart a relationship after a breakup, you should also respect that you both did the best you could at that time. This does not mean that something could not have been done better, but this is not a reason to blame yourself and others.
Restoring a relationship after a breakup is a clean slate, so you should be sure to free yourself from all the grievances that arose earlier. The reason lies in the fact that if this is not done, then quarrels will arise again, which means that in the end everything will come to the same sad result. This is especially true for those moments due to which the separation occurred.
If the desire to return everything back is based on reasons such as the desire to protect yourself from something or someone, the desire to increase the “ego” or regret about lost time, then returning to a former relationship is definitely not worth it.
A relationship can be worth fighting for if you prioritize the future of the two over yourself.
My Favorite Practices for Reconnecting with an Ex
Finally, I want to give you a few recipes. I will share the practices that helped me become a Queen in the eyes of my man, restore our relationship and no longer make serious mistakes along the way.
Develop self-love
To keep a man, it is important to love yourself. Increase your self-esteem and begin to put yourself and your desires first, and not at all the interests of a man and your relationship with him.
I like these practices, they are the ones that helped me change the situation for the better.
- Meditation How to make a man fall in love with you in 21 days;
- Meditation How to learn to love and accept yourself;
- Practice How to love yourself to solve love and financial problems.
Enjoy life
Ask yourself: what do I want to do now while the man is not next to me? After all, when your relationship is restored, life with your loved one will be different. Joint things will appear, and you will not be able to devote 100% of your time only to yourself.
Make a plan for 1-3 months: write down everything you have long dreamed of doing. For example, here are some of the things from my list, with the help of which I have already lifted my mood and added bright colors to my life:
- go to a cool salon (in another city)
and get a tattoo; - do permanent makeup for eyebrows and lips;
- go to a professional photo shoot;
- visit the zoo.
Surprise yourself, live happily, and the Universe will give you a gift - an ideal relationship with the man you love.
Notice the signs
In the process of restoring a relationship, I came up with a sign for myself: if I see a car on the street with the same license plate as my beloved man, it means that the fulfillment of my desire is already close.
Every time I saw a car with this number, my mood lifted and a smile bloomed on my face. At such moments, I understood that the Universe was ready to return my beloved to me and restore our relationship.
Make up your own signs and notice the coincidences. If, for example, you meet a couple in love or your friend is invited to get married, do not be upset under any circumstances. Such random-non-random coincidences are called synchronicities. It is simply a reflection of your thoughts: you attract the desired future to you, and it is reflected in your reality. This means that the fulfillment of your desire is already close.
You are full of love, not fear
The next sign that you should start a relationship with your ex is your main motivation for getting him back. It stems from a desire to create love rather than avoid loss.
Often the main reason why, for example, girls and women often want to get their ex back is the desire to simply have a partner in order to avoid loneliness. The main thing during a breakup is to understand what you really want. Ask yourself: “If I weren’t worried about being alone, what reason would I want to get back with my ex?” If you find a positive answer to this question, then you can think about more active actions in this direction.
At the end of the day, only you know whether you should get back with your ex or not, but just in case you're not sure, here are the signs that you should try again.
Mistake 2. Attachment to deadlines and dates
Often girls, dreaming of returning love, become attached to certain dates, for example:
- I want him to come to me on February 14 with flowers and a declaration of love;
- I want us to get married on May 20 this year.
Attachment to deadlines is nothing more than inflated importance, which prevents not only the restoration of relationships, but also the fulfillment of any desire. You can learn more about the inflated importance of desires and ways to reduce it in the books of Vadim Zeland, the author of the doctrine of reality transurfing.
On the subject: How can a woman reduce the IMPORTANCE of desire when attracting love?
In addition, by being fixated on a certain date, you show your distrust of the Universe. I'll explain with my own example.
How I jinxed my wedding
I really wanted a summer wedding with a beautiful date in August 2020. But the closer this day got, the more anxiety grew in me. And when the wish was not fulfilled at the appointed time, I was very disappointed. I decided that our relationship was completely destroyed.
By being fixated on the date, I did not give the Universe the opportunity to realize everything in the way that would be better and more correct for me.
How to correct a mistake in a relationship with a man
If you're going to attract what you truly want, does it matter when it happens? The Universe or the higher mind - there is always some force that will make your dreams come true in an UNEXPECTED way, at the best moment for this. You do not need to fight for what you want. Just be patient and allow yourself to have it. Imagine your ideal relationship with a man. Try to feel them as if all this has already come true.
Desire has no power. It can't even lift a finger. This is done by intention, that is, the determination to act. Intention also includes the willingness to have.
Vadim Zeland “Reality Transurfing”
The moment you let go of deadlines, you demonstrate faith and gain determination, and your intention gains strength. And then the wish comes true much faster and better than you could imagine. The man himself makes the decision on how to restore your relationship.
The reason for the separation is no longer a problem
Time heals wounds, right? Maybe all you two need is a little time apart to get to know yourselves better? Or maybe you both have become more mature after a while?
Often, after some time, people forget the bad things and are ready to start all over again. If time has made you two realize that you want to be with each other, then why wait even longer?
If the reason you broke up is no longer an issue, then by all means, go ahead and reconnect.
Maybe you broke up because the relationship was built at a distance, and now you live in the same city? Maybe your partner was a workaholic, and now he has realized that there is more to life than just work? Once you realize that the problem has disappeared, post-breakup relationships will become possible.
How can a man get a woman back?
The same tips will be useful for adult men who have broken up with a woman, but want to get her back after the breakup.
Psychologists give advice on what a man should not do if he wants to return his beloved. You shouldn’t be intrusive, write endless SMS, kneel, humiliatingly ask to come back, press for pity. The woman won't like it.
Active actions will help restore the relationship, if the woman really loved deeply and is waiting for a reunion.
If the breakup occurred on the woman’s initiative, then during the meeting it is important to discuss all the man’s misdeeds that led to the ending. The main thing is not to make big promises. If there is a new refusal, utter words of relief. This confuses women and they give the man a chance to return the almost extinct union.
Even better, arrange a “random” meeting, which you can calmly end on your own initiative. After this, you can disappear for a while without maintaining contact.
After a breakup, any woman expects a man to fight to restore the relationship. This flatters her pride. If feelings have not cooled down, then you need to use all your reserves to rebuild the relationship.
Both want the same thing
Sometimes you meet someone, but you realize that you have different goals. At this moment, the relationship must end, since they have no common future.
For example, before your partner didn’t want children, but you did the opposite. However, people change, and with them their desires and needs change. He may reconsider his views and want to have kids with you.
If you both want the same thing now, getting back together after a breakup is a good option.
Why does understanding come after separation?
After a breakup, people go through a stage of reassessing the relationship and the reasons that led to the breakup. The partner is assessed from a different perspective. When people start living together, at first they don’t pay attention to their partner’s shortcomings. This is the period of falling in love, euphoria from new feelings prevails. When conflicts arise, they pay more attention to negative character traits and behavior.
When partners separate, they begin to look at the situation differently . The usual way of life changes, the person with whom there was a deep emotional connection is no longer nearby. Sometimes a partner understands that he loves already after he has separated.
Evaluating life together, partners or one of them begin to realize that it was good, comfortable with a particular person, there were emotions, joint plans that could not be realized. The ex-partner acquires a different value after separation, so renewed relationships often last longer than the previous ones.
How to restore family relationships
When discord begins in a family, everyone suffers, no matter from which side the trouble came. Most often, discord begins due to the husband's betrayal. A woman usually finds out about this by chance or her friends will tell her that her husband went to the left.
How to live after betrayal
No one knows this for sure, not even psychologists! Many women, even after betrayal, remain to live with an unfaithful husband, turning a blind eye to the betrayal.
But there are determined women who push the unfaithful out of the door, while continuing to love him. They say it’s not scary if you accidentally cheated once, it’s worse when you leave for someone else.
Psychologists say: one should not think that a husband easily separates from his wife. After all, after parting, he comes to someone else’s family, sees someone else’s woman, someone else’s children, someone else’s environment. Almost every infidel wants to run back. That's what they do.
How to deal with a prodigal husband? You can file for divorce. It’s good that they don’t give you a divorce right away, so you’ll have to stay together for a while. At this time, you need to try to revive faded feelings.
To do this, you need to start changing for the better so that your husband notices it. And the husband needs to become more attentive and caring. The main thing is to stop the flow of mutual reproaches and accusations. Hence the key advice: do not remember old grievances, do not nag each other, keep your mouth shut.
If the chance is not missed, the family can recover. It’s bad if the husband leaves the family forever. When breaking up, a wise woman should not block the door, cry, beg, or scold her mistress. Is it worth lamenting if he made his choice?
Interesting advice from a psychologist: don’t help him pack his things. Let him puff on his own.
After the breakup
Almost none of the husbands leave forever. Returns are always possible. Now the wife will decide whether to accept or not.
After a breakup, you should not take the initiative to meet, and you should not invite the cheater back to the family. The longer he lives outside the family, the heavier the burden of the new family will become, the faster the tenderness of his mistress will disappear.
It has been noted many times that after a divorce, after living with someone else’s woman, men value their family more.
