We are often asked why men come back. Most often, men return after they end a relationship. Your behavior will be a factor in your return. Emotions and tensions run high after a breakup. As a rule, it is during this period that women make most of the mistakes that repel men... Let's figure out why men return to their wife, to their girlfriend, and how you can restore the relationship.
There is a secret bonus video waiting for you at the end of the article.
Reasons for breaking up a relationship on the initiative of a guy
Sometimes a guy, leaving a woman, is guided by the fact that she is not so beautiful, since his friends were not jealous of him. Someone will say that the chosen one did not love him, admired him little, criticized his character, status, achievements. Other reasons why guys leave girls include:
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- imbalance;
- complaints about low income, greed;
- dislike of his friends;
- jealousy;
- inability to inspire the male sex to feats.
That is, the man believes that he is leaving a lady who could not meet his expectations. In his opinion, he deserves more. Girls, having learned the reasons for men leaving them, should take note of these arguments, draw conclusions and try to prevent a possible separation in the future.
Impulsive
Impulsive reasons are considered to be those that arose out of emotion; leaving became sudden as a result. These include:
- treason;
- unpredictable behavior;
- lack of emotions;
- crisis situations.
The most impulsive reason is betrayal. Men are kind of owners. They can't stand it when someone else owns their significant other. A man regards a girl’s unpredictable behavior in society as vulgarity and bad manners. It doesn’t matter how he was raised, his woman must be ideal.
Men need emotional support from women. They need to be admired and supported. If they have this, they have a desire to conquer the world, to be needed, to win, to strive for new heights. When this is not the case, they feel worthless, self-esteem drops, and they shift the blame onto women. Guys leave their chosen ones because they don’t want to perform feats for their sake.
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Crisis situations imply a period of life when a man wonders why he is next to this young lady. He wonders how his life would have turned out if he had been with someone else. Partially, this reason is a consequence of the previous one, when the emotions from the existing relationship cease to be enough.
Objective
Objective reasons are those that a man thought about for a long time and weighed all the arguments.
They can be like this:
- requirement to legitimize relations;
- woman's high income;
- low intelligence;
- lack of self-care;
- incompatibility of characters;
- routine in everyday life;
- siphoning money from a man's wallet.
Most women dream of a stamp in their passport. They love to start conversations with their loved ones about the wedding. If such conversations occur frequently, representatives of the stronger sex get scared and break off the relationship. Most likely, the guys are simply not ready for such a step. When the time comes, the man himself will propose marriage.
An unequal financial situation can interfere with relationships. This applies to couples in which the lady earns more than her boyfriend. Sometimes it is better to remain silent about the amount of your salary. If he knows what the income of the girl he lives with is, he will develop an inferiority complex. Some will be happy about this, but then they will be tormented by a feeling of guilt, they will begin to reproach the woman for not being able to succeed in life. As a result, the man will leave for another lady whose income will be less. Only then will he feel strong, confident and significant.
Men are more interested in living next to smart women. This does not mean that you need to show your intelligence by belittling the dignity of your gentleman. But you can’t be stupid either, otherwise the man will get bored. It is also important for a guy that his lady looks well-groomed. To do this, you need to take care of your appearance.
Most often, the reason for the breakup is stated as incompatibility of characters. This is when it is difficult for people to be together due to the fact that they wake up at different times, like different foods, movies, music, and each have their own attitude to changes in life. Everyday life leads to separation, because it becomes boring to be together, the beloved does not know how to cook, the house is a mess. All this is repeated every day.
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Inflated financial demands of the chosen one can cause harm because the man will begin to consider the relationship with her to be consumer. For agreeing to have sex, such a girl may demand that you buy her expensive jewelry. The gentleman will think that she has no feelings, only material needs. He will think, why then live with her, because sex can be obtained with less effort with another passion.
Awareness of mistakes
If a young man or ex- spouse realizes their mistakes, then they do so because they cannot let go of their ex-partner. She must know that the man who used to use her will treat her badly again. A self-respecting woman will not continue to trust such a partner.
Only a responsible man can finally admit all his mistakes. He must be able to solve problems without conflict. This is the only way to correct a difficult situation in your personal life with your ex-darling.
Why do men want to restore relationships?
The problem of why men return after a breakup has been studied by psychology. Several factors have been identified:
- longing for past relationships;
- reluctance to share a girl with another person;
- awareness of error;
- disappointment in other women;
- loneliness.
How long it takes for men to return to women after a breakup depends on how quickly they realize their sincere feelings. Only after the breakup does the guy understand who she was to him and how important she is.
Longing for past relationships
The human subconscious displaces the unpleasant moments of life, they are quickly forgotten. Therefore, after leaving, men often remember only the good events that they experienced. The guy now has a lot of other worries and troubles. There is a desire to see a white streak in life. At the moment, the man associates her with his former passion. He wants to relive the happy moments that he had in his life.
Not wanting to share your ex with someone else
Sometimes a man believes that since the woman belonged to him, it means that it should continue to be so, even if they broke up a long time ago. He is annoyed that another person will touch her, kiss her, make her happy. A sense of competition immediately awakens in him. He wants to be a winner. As long as the lady spends time with family and friends, he is calm. As soon as she has a boyfriend, the ex-man again begins to show signs of attention. But as soon as he returns the girl, he will no longer need her again. His main goal is to feel victory.
Realizing the error
There are guys who realize that their behavior was undignified. They begin to regret that they treated their loved ones poorly. This explains why guys go back to their ex-girlfriends. But sometimes, after returning, melancholy overtakes. A good guy turns into a bad person. He leaves again, promising not to remember the lady, not to look in her direction. As a rule, it is not enough for a long time.
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Disappointment in other girls
After breaking up with his girlfriend, the guy goes in search of a new lover. He looks for qualities in women that were not present in his former passion. The man is sure that there are more beautiful young ladies, because there are so many of them in this world. After several failures, the guy concludes that his ex was the best, and everyone else is boring and uninteresting, even if they are beautiful and sexy.
Loneliness
The man leaves the woman, raising his head proudly. He is sure that he is irresistible, so he will quickly find a replacement for her. Having met other girls, he comes to the conclusion that he is tired of them. The man is left alone. There is no one to cook, wash, clean or iron. It's cold in bed alone, it's uncomfortable at home. Suddenly he remembers his former passion, forgets everything bad that happened to her, wants her back.
Other reasons
There are other reasons why men come back after a breakup. For example, when former spouses have children together. If he is a loving father and does not want his child to be raised by a stepfather, he will return to the family. But if it is difficult for spouses to be together, they constantly quarrel, then reunification will only do harm.
Some men believe that their ex-girlfriend will disappear and will not be able to withstand the problems that will fall on her shoulders. He might even want to commit suicide. To prevent this, the guys are returning. Lovers of passions, for whom it is difficult together, and even worse apart, also renew their relationship.
Here's how to increase your chances...
Now is the time to address the issues that led to the breakup. And focus on becoming a new and improved version of yourself. When men come back, they see something they want to be around.
So, although things are quite difficult right now, you must remember that you are in control of your life and your happiness. Start thinking about what you can do to become happier. Which friends and family members could you spend more time with? What hobbies fell by the wayside while you were in a relationship?
Think about what new activities you can try now. Focus on physical activities such as yoga, Nordic walking, squats, running, etc. Physical activity can be a great help when you are feeling depressed and/or frustrated. This helps clear your head and release endorphins. On top of that, it boosts your energy. So you feel more motivated to do things that benefit you!
Plus, it will boost your self-confidence. Because you will take care of yourself.
This is the best thing you can do when wondering: “Will a man come back to me after a breakup?”
In addition to this, there is another tool that can work wonders in your situation...
When not to get back into a relationship
Some girls do everything to get their man back after a breakup. If he does not see a common future, he has reasonable reasons for this, he should not do this. This is a thoughtful and balanced decision. It’s better to focus your energy on fighting melancholy and finding new hobbies that will help you forget it.
After a breakup, a girl needs to sort out her feelings and understand why she wants him back. Perhaps it’s just the habit of waking up next to each other, going for a walk, having breakfast together. This is longing for certain events, not for a person.
If you imagine that you managed to get the guy back, it’s worth thinking about what will happen next. During the first few days, both will try to change. But there will definitely be features that no one will agree to change. Conflicts, pain, disappointment will begin again. If there are negative traits, attempts to restore the relationship are useless.
You earn more than him
Having married, some young people with low incomes begin to feel free, since the spouse is provided with housing, has a good job, connections and is able to fully support herself. This eliminates the need to live with parents. Morally, an irresponsible person with bad addictions, for example, alcoholism or drug addiction, can break off relations with such a wife.
If a wealthy woman has children after a divorce, then it will not be difficult for her to support them alone. Most often, ex-husbands without permanent jobs return to their spouses closer to old age. It’s good if she was able to marry a normal person, otherwise she will face problems and a sense of duty to society for a man who has lost his social status.
Unable to arrange his personal life after the divorce, the ex-husband loses hope in anyone except his children and their mother. Feeling his inadequacy and uselessness for his family, he will come and leave again, proving that he is still capable of something. It is better for an abandoned woman to immediately put him in his place, pointing out the existence of a certain barrier between them.
Advice from practicing psychologists
When girls are abandoned, they wonder why their lovers do not return to them after breaking up, and wonder what psychology says about this. Many young ladies make mistakes, become annoying, trying to often catch the eye of their former gentleman. They call, write messages, blackmail with children. You need to pull yourself together and let the man go with ease, because this will worsen the relationship.
After a woman is abandoned by her boyfriend, she begins to take care of herself, learns to cook, and maintain order in the house. These actions had to be performed at all times. To be able to accept him back and restore the relationship, you need to work on yourself.
There are many reasons for breaking up a relationship, objective and impulsive. Sometimes you can restore a relationship with a guy if he left. But in some cases it is better not to do this. Only with the desire of both partners and willingness to work on themselves will it be possible to renew the union.
Who abandoned whom?i
A guy will rarely want to return to the one he himself, on his own initiative, decided to leave. If he no, no, and even comes to see her, or even if they started dating again, perhaps it was the girl who initiated the separation.
The man simply did not stop loving her, thinking about her even in moments spent with his new passion. And as soon as his ex beckoned him to her, he immediately went.
How do such stories usually end? In most cases, nothing good. The woman will again keep the gentleman next to her until she gets tired of him again. And perhaps this time he will go again to the one from whom he only recently left. Why not? Don’t look for another girl when the previous one is ready to accept!
Revenge
Whether it was a chance meeting or he saw a new photo on your profile - it doesn’t matter.
Any man wants the woman next to him to radiate happiness. This is a matter of pride, apart from everything else.
Worthy - does not focus on this. It is enough for him that you are happy and give him feedback.
But for a man who is insecure, every compliment addressed to his woman is a new coin in the piggy bank of his self-esteem. And so he meets you and sees that you are blooming and smelling WITHOUT HIM. Or even worse - with someone else. And the biggest disaster is his cooler status.
What does a woman need to do to get her ex back?
A young lady who has broken up with her lover and wants to return him should not provoke scandals. Psychologists recommend adhering to the following tips:
- do not write angry messages;
- do not pester your loved one with endless calls;
- do not push for pity;
- avoid discussing relationships during a chance meeting with your loved one;
- show that you are independent and positive;
- Organize a date yourself if your spouse does not offer it;
- think over your image, the main thing is that it is natural.
Take the test and find out what your chances are of getting your husband back
He wants to start over
Relationships with your ex are like relationships with an old frying pan.
You see a new and beautiful one on the display case - with a non-stick coating and a heat-resistant handle, but you pass by. Because eggs are fried easier and tastier on an old lady.
Also with men, you have two options: create and develop in a new relationship with a new man or get stuck in those that are simpler and more familiar, with the same one.
Honey, everything connected to the past takes energy to create the present. Think about it!
