Anger management: how to turn rage to your advantage

Anger is one of the emotional experiences of a person, which is closely related to cognitive processes, physical arousal, and aggressive behavior. In adverse situations, anger can spiral out of control and become an affect, interfering with a person's social functioning and overall well-being. Anger management - how to learn to cope with emotions on your own and when should you consult a specialist? You will find the answers in this article.

Why do anger attacks happen?

To more accurately understand the causes of anger, it is necessary to consider a number of factors that collectively influence the manifestation of anger:

Biological factors: a type of choleric temperament that is prone to anger. A mobile, strong nervous system reacts faster and more vividly to external stimuli.

Physiological factors : lack of sleep leads to levels of physical exhaustion, chronic stress leads to mental exhaustion. In states of neuropsychic exhaustion, a person reacts to external stimuli with negative emotions and maladaptive behavior, including aggressive behavior.

Psychological factors : dissatisfaction with work, financial situation, personal problems, obligations regarding the behavior of other people, inconsistency of the surrounding world with internal standards, inability to control and express anger - all this causes growing internal tension, which is just waiting for psychological release.

Anger in the structure of mental disorder . This individual factor affects different types of disorders: anger often accompanies personality disorders, bipolar disorder, relapses in eating disorders, chemical and non-chemical dependencies, and addictions. It can also act as a factor in the decompensation of psychopathology in loved ones.

EXPLOSIVE AGE

Young people are much more aggressive than adults, and young men are the most explosive.
The more youth there are in a country's population, the more likely conflicts are. Here, for example, are data for Russia indicating the percentage of youth to the total population: Moscow and Moscow region - 22%, Oryol region - 19.5%, Ingushetia - 30.8%, Dagestan - 29.8%, Chechnya - 28.9 %. American demographer Richard Cincotta, having analyzed the age composition of the population in countries where revolutions took place from 1972 to 1989, concluded that the outcome of the revolution and the system that will be established in the country after it depend on the age of the population.

Cincotta used a measure called median age. This is the age at which the same number of people in the country are older and younger. All countries where the median age was 25–35 years old at the time of the revolution came to democracy. Nine out of ten countries with a median age below 25 have slipped back into undemocratic regimes. If the median age is above 35 years, then the revolution most often does not occur.

What explains this connection? Yanir BarYam from the New England Institute for Complex Systems (USA) believes that an older population indicates that a society has developed social institutions and infrastructure.

For reference: the median age of the Russian population in 1991 was 33 years old, now it is about 38 years old. It is difficult to say what it was like in 1917, but according to the 1897 census, the median age was about 21 years.

https://www.newscientist.com/article/

https://www.fadm.gov.ru/regionmain/

First steps when dealing with anger

Step one. First you need to track how often, after an angry affective discharge, a person justifies his actions, for example:

• "She took me out"
• “This time he really asked for it”
• "We got what we deserved"
• “They had no right to express themselves like that, I answered them correctly.”

It is necessary to try to abandon self-justifying attitudes in order to further successfully work with anger

Step two : determine the degree of intensity of your own experiences. Often, people with anger problems downplay the intensity, which also makes it difficult to deal with aggressive behavior because intense anger limits volitional regulation of emotion control, increasing the risk of impulsive behavior.

Step three : Determine your anger frequency (how many times during the day you feel angry).

And one more stage in the initial work: prescribe ways to express anger (this is the behavior that a person chooses for psycho-emotional release). Write a list of actions (throwing things, breaking dishes, avoiding communication, physical violence towards an irritating object, obscene language, breaking fists until they bleed) and distribute them into groups: verbal (verbal) aggression, physical aggression, passive (hidden) aggression.

Emergency self-help methods

Let's look at emergency self-help techniques in acute situations.

Count to ten

When you can no longer contain your aggression and anger, tell yourself “stop” and slowly count to ten. Don't do or say anything else during this time. You need to restore the balance between your mind and emotions. The account will help you with this.

Most likely, after this simple action you will no longer want to destroy everything and hurl curses. Of course, the anger itself will not go away, but at least you will take control of it.

Distance yourself from the source of irritation

Anger rarely arises suddenly and out of nowhere. As a rule, it is preceded by other negative emotions: irritation, annoyance, disappointment. As the situation escalates, they snowball and eventually lead to an emotional explosion.

Therefore, try to leave the source of negative emotions as soon as possible, if possible. For example, leave the store if you are nervous about a long line, interrupt a conversation that is unpleasant for you, get off a crowded bus and call a taxi. Yes, this may cause some inconvenience, but it will save your nerve cells and prevent acute conflict situations.

Breathe slowly and deeply

During attacks of anger, breathing quickens and becomes shallow. Start breathing deeply, engaging your chest and stomach. This will help you calm down. Let each inhalation and exhalation last at least 5 seconds.

The ratio of carbon dioxide and oxygen will return to normal, mental clarity will return, and emotional intensity will decrease.

Move

When possible, neutralize anger through movement. If he finds you, for example, at work, find a secluded place and do a short exercise.

Forcefully clench and unclench your fists, squat, jump in place. This will help reduce the concentration of cortisol in the blood.

Write

When there is no way to express your emotions in a natural way - to shout, cry, talk to someone - entrust them to paper. As they say, she will endure anything.

If someone has seriously offended you in a way that provoked anger, calling them out loud may not always be the best idea. And you can express your indignation on paper without damaging your relationships or reputation. You don’t have to be shy in your expressions and cover up the offender with the most offensive words, if that makes it easier for you.

It is better to do this immediately after a conflict arises. So that aggression does not accumulate and poison you from the inside.

Another positive effect of this practice is that after a while you will be able to read what you have written and draw important conclusions. Emotions will subside - the situation will appear before you in a completely different light. You realize that you made a mistake and reacted inappropriately.

Use your sense of humor

Anger and laughter are incompatible emotions. The brain cannot experience them at the same time. Therefore, if you manage to find something comical in the situation and laugh at it, then the anger will disappear by itself.

You can imagine, for example, how a boss shouting at you grows horns. Or how people in line at the bank sing in chorus the song of the group “Hands Up”. You can simply remember a funny joke or a comical incident from life.

And the best option is to find a reason for self-irony and laugh at yourself. Very often anger arises from an inflated sense of self-importance. Self-irony helps to return from the imaginary throne to earth and look at the situation with an adequate perspective.

Look at the situation from the outside

Try to abstract yourself from the situation. Imagine leaving your body, standing back and observing what is happening, as if you were watching an emotional scene in a movie.

Here in front of you is your figure in a tense pose with a red face from anger. Not the most pleasant sight, is it? It’s unlikely that you would want others to remember just such an image of you.

While all these thoughts are running through your mind, you will not even notice how the intensity of your anger will decrease. This is because your brain will switch from experiencing emotions to thinking.

Direct your energy towards destruction

In a state of anger, we want to break, destroy, destroy everything around us. Give yourself this opportunity. You just need to do this in a socially acceptable way so as not to cause harm to yourself and other people.

You can take old dishes you don’t need and smash them on the floor with all your might. Or smash some broken equipment with a hammer. Just don’t get too carried away – it’s very easy to get the hang of it. Naturally, no one should be nearby.

A more harmless way is to tear the paper. Perfectly calms the nerves and helps you relax.

More than 100 cool lessons, tests and exercises for brain development

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I recommend reading Dan Dubravin’s book “Anger Management.” You will delve deeper into the topic of emotional intelligence, learn to control your emotions and competently manage such powerful energy as anger.

Anger management - exercises and techniques for doing it yourself

The most effective and fastest techniques for solving the problem of how to cope with attacks of anger - cognitive behavioral psychotherapy techniques, mindfulness skills, self-regulation methods

Before performing the exercises, it is necessary to understand the chain of anger, and to realize which segment of the chain the work of a particular technique is aimed at. It is important to select techniques so as to involve the development of all segments.

Sometimes the chain can look simple:

Trigger situation - angry thoughts - anger - aggressive behavior

Sometimes its appearance is much more complex:

Trigger - angry thoughts - emotions of indignation, anger, irritation - self-inflation - rumination - anger - aggressive behavior

This must be taken into account when choosing techniques.

Assess the possibilities: what will happen if you remain silent?

Often it’s easier for us to pretend that nothing happened. It’s worth thinking: why are you making this decision? Are you afraid of losing the love and sympathy of others? In this case, your irritation will accumulate and result in passive aggression. You will still lose the favor of those around you. Silence is golden, but in a different situation. Your silence makes the problem worse, confusing the relationship. Those who hold back their emotions suffer from excess weight, depression, stress and cardiovascular disease. Your silence is also a refusal to eliminate the cause of irritation.

Learning to manage emotions

Trigger : We make a list of situations that provoke anger, ranking them by intensity, from the most powerful to the least annoying. We write down strategies for weakening its effect next to each trigger, for example:

Trigger – children demand attention when I come home from work tired.

A way to ease the trigger is to go to a cafe after work, drink coffee, relax after a hard day and gain strength to communicate with children. Try to find a solution for each trigger yourself.

Thoughts and self-inflation : use cognitive therapy techniques, write down the pros and cons of each thought, correlate thoughts with reality, remove value judgments, develop an alternative thought for each angry one, introduce alternative thoughts into your life after the trigger.

Rumination : the so-called “mental chewing gum” that a person plays in his head over and over again. These are thoughts about the triggering situation that cause new waves of negative emotions.

Advice: learn to put off rumination, set aside one time for it during the day (for example, at seven o’clock in the evening), and not allow it to invade your consciousness at another time of the day.

Emotions of anger, anger, irritation: breathing techniques, Jacobson muscle relaxation, pleasant visualizations and other self-regulation techniques.

Aggressive behavior : use of coping cards. Cards are prepared in advance; alternative methods of behavior that replace aggressive ones are written on them. These cards can be quickly used when anger arises.

Find out the relationship

When you've kicked a pillow, run around your office building a few times, finished your breathing exercises and feel calmer, it's time to take decisive action. It's time to face the recipient of your anger. Don't rack your brain over the question; Should I show my anger or not?” There is a more important task: “How to solve the problem that makes me angry? If you have a difficult conversation, try to stick to “I” statements. You should start your sentence something like this: “I think that...” If you talk about yourself and your reactions, it will be more difficult for your opponent to argue with you. If you use “you statements” (“You did this, and it’s wrong...”), the interlocutor will have to justify himself, and the conversation will come to a dead end. Operate with facts, not emotions.

Other Anger Management Tips

It is very important to concentrate your attention on the first signs of anger (it is at this moment that the volitional component of control has not yet been weakened, which means that you can more successfully cope with the effect of an unpleasant emotion).

Be attentive to the factors that cause anger: it is always better to prevent the entire chain than to deal with the consequences

Watch how other people express their anger, focus on the consequences, note the most adaptive behavior for yourself.

You can deal with anger on your own or together with a psychologist.

The Nature of Anger

When we feel danger, irritation or encounter another obstacle, our brain activates the production of adrenaline in the body. It is this hormone that makes us furious and desires cruel revenge.

It arose among us for the simplest reason - because of the need for self-defense. Anger, the psychology of which is surprising, can turn the most calm and peaceful into a killing machine.

That is why it is worth paying attention to learning to control yourself and your thoughts.

In what cases is specialist help needed?

In cases where attempts to cope with anger on your own have failed. A person begins to use emotional and physical violence against close family members: child, wife, etc., in the case of a previously established diagnosis of a personality disorder or mood disorders, it is necessary to seek the help of a psychologist.

MAKE FRIENDS WITH EMOTIONS

First rule

, which helps you make friends with your emotions: when you feel anger, irritation or anger, try to analyze what need is behind this feeling and to whom, to what person it is directed. Having realized this, you can already think about how to resolve the situation.

Rule number two:

remember that an emotion cannot be good or bad. Often, when we say that anger is bad, we do not mean the emotion itself, but the form of its expression. One person, expressing anger, will throw things against the wall or hit them in the eye, another will bark something in the heat of the moment, a third will frown and stop talking, and so on. The method of expression must always be adequate to the situation and environment. And it’s much more productive to think about this question than about how to get rid of your emotions.

Lyudmila Boldyreva,

coach, psychologist, business trainer

How does a psychologist solve the problem of anger?

The most important function of a psychologist , which cannot be achieved when working with anger independently, is to find unique personal reasons for anger, a person’s responsibilities, and deep-seated beliefs. Help him understand where and in what ways his boundaries are violated, build a step-by-step, competent work with anger.

Usually, after outbursts of anger and irritation towards a child, a feeling of guilt falls on the person, and the emotional picture becomes complex. A psychologist helps you understand these difficult feelings. Develops a personal strategy for solving a problem for a person, monitors results, and supports the person in working on anger.

It is also difficult for a teenager to cope with anger on his own, since during the period of maturation of the body, the psyche becomes mobile and unstable, and the area of ​​the volitional coping component is not yet sufficiently developed and cannot cope with the control function.

The task of a psychologist is to teach a teenager the skills of control and coping with anger. Explain the mechanisms of aggressive behavior. Role-play daily situations in which the teenager cannot cope with anger and aggression.

Anger and its destructive effects

In psychology, anger is understood as a negatively colored affect (a short-term emotional process of an explosive nature), directed against the injustice experienced by a person and accompanied by the desire for its immediate elimination. During anger, a person is able to “chop a lot of wood” and do something that he will later regret.

It is also interesting that many religions view anger negatively. For example, in Buddhism it is considered one of the five “poisons” that should be avoided. Hinduism says that anger brings death and misfortune to a person. In Islam, despite the fact that "instant anger" - beyond human control - is natural, any actions committed under its influence are condemned. In Judaism, anger is always condemned, except when caused by a sense of justice. Finally, in Christianity it is generally perceived as a “state of mind against one’s neighbor.”

Of course, religious dogmas are not authority at all for many. Therefore, it makes sense to turn to the results of scientific research. According to them, uncontrolled anger worsens physical health, putting the human body at risk of heart disease, weakened immunity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, insomnia and depression.

Irritation and anger have a destructive effect on the mental state, because they not only force you to waste a colossal amount of mental energy, but also deprive you of clarity of thinking. It becomes more difficult for a person to concentrate, evaluate the situation and his actions; he may become excessively anxious and depressed; he may begin to suffer from a variety of mental disorders.

On a more practical level, anger negatively affects success in work and education, and alienates others from its “carrier.” Under the influence of this state, it is easy to offend loved ones, lose trust, and make others feel uncomfortable. Naturally, anger will not bring anything good to family, friendships or romantic relationships either.

By the way, you can check out this short but very interesting video, where the famous lecturer and writer, candidate of medical sciences Oleg Gennadievich Torsunov talks about anger.

We think even this small number of facts is enough to understand the destructive effects of anger. And it would be quite appropriate to say that the ability to cope with it allows you to curb its influence on yourself and your life; one who knows how to manage anger is able to achieve well-being in the broadest sense of the word.

Anger management: cost and time frame for solving the problem

In the absence of concomitant mental disorders that complicate working with anger, this problem can be dealt with in 5-8 meetings with a psychologist, with the frequency of sessions being 1 time per week. The cost of one consultation in our clinic starts from 1000 rubles. When working with anger in the structure of a mental disorder, 10 to 15 meetings are necessary.

An appointment with a psychologist at PsiMedClinic can be made by calling +7 (3532) 45-95-03 or using the feedback form.

A DRILL

1. A sense of humor, or rather a benevolent attitude, allows you to see in any situation not a traumatic, offensive element, but a harmless, funny one. A well-meaning joke about the situation (!), and not about the participants, is the best way to defuse an impending conflict.

2. Remember: “He who is without sin...” After all, there were situations when you were wrong and your loved ones suffered from this? If you learn to forgive others more often, people will forgive you more easily. “The best cure for resentment is forgiveness.”

3. View conflict as a learning situation. Analyze it. In the process of interaction, in every possible way emphasize the similarities of your positions, not their differences. A German proverb says: “Even from the biggest swine you can get at least a small piece of ham.”

Let's sum it up

Coping with anger without understanding its mechanisms and structure (chain) is not so easy. When working with anger on your own, it is important to remember that a single technique or exercise will not help you cope with this difficult task. An integrated approach is important: working through all components of the structure of anger.

If you cannot cope with anger on your own, there are outbursts of aggression towards a child, emotional and physical violence towards a partner, as well as if you have an established mental disorder, you need to contact a specialist for professional help.

Psychology, Anger Management

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Stages of Anger

To control your condition, you only need concentration and willpower. But if you allow yourself to go too far, the fire of rage will cloud your consciousness, dooming you to unpredictable consequences.

To understand what exactly to do in your case, we advise you to divide your anger, the psychology of which is becoming increasingly clear, into certain stages. Their edges are very blurred, but you will feel them, no doubt.

First stage

Mild anger, resentment or irritation. This emotion can be caused either by a fly buzzing over your ear or by a girl accidentally brushing against you on the street. Resisting the first stage of anger is quite simple; anyone can do it without preparation, even a child.

Second stage

If that buzzing fly bites you, and the girl on the street, in addition to pushing you, spills coffee on you, you plunge into a deeper abyss of anger. You want to swat this damn fly and pour something hot on the offender in response. The desire for retribution and justice awakens in you.

You can deal with this in the same ways as with the first stage, but the process itself will not be so easy.

Third stage

Because of a fly bite, you have severe itching and redness, and the coffee got right onto your brand new iPhone! Welcome to the third stage, in which you will furiously swear and curse this unjust world.

You will not want justice, but the most brutal revenge. Anger management is becoming increasingly important!

It is very difficult to cope with this stage alone, because it becomes difficult to justify the irritant due to the damage caused.

But even among advisers there will be many who will say “well, his anger is justified, he can be understood,” which will not help you in any way.

You can learn how to control your anger at this stage in the next chapter, and we move on to the last, fourth stage.

Fourth stage

It turned out that the fly infected you with a particularly serious illness, and now it is brazenly buzzing in front of your nose, as if laughing. And that fool who spilled coffee on your iPhone turned out to be the mistress of your husband, who is now looking at both of you in fear.

Are you already anticipating this explosion?

The fourth stage of anger is impossible without special escalation of the situation by the irritant. Moreover, it must be something that will simply knock the ground out from under your feet. Something unexpected and terrifying.

It can also be a long repetition of the same irritating action - such an effect on the psyche can easily cause an explosive flow of rage and indignation.

It is to the fourth stage of anger that the state of passion can be attributed, because anger at everything in the world simply drives you crazy. Outside help here is not only desirable, it is irreplaceable.

How to deal with this? Part 1

Let's start with the most harmless outbursts of anger. Their reasons are usually minor, so if you set yourself the goal of learning to control your emotions, this will be a great start. Since the first and second stages are very close, we will consider the same methods of struggle for them.

1) Analysis of your emotions

Anger, the psychology of which is already practically clear to you, can be a cover for other emotions. These can be envy, jealousy, disappointment.

Understanding the true reasons for your feelings is a key factor in dealing with them. Analyze yourself and how you feel towards the offender. This is how you will find the answer.

2) Think through the results

Before rage takes over your mind, think about what further escalation of the conflict will lead to. It is unlikely that your anger will improve relations with the offender or erase his guilt. For such purposes, it is better to use dialogue, but not swearing.

3) Look at everything from the other side

Remembering the girl who spilled coffee on you, you should think about the reason for such an incident. Was this an accident?

Probably yes. But what's the point of being angry with her then? You yourself could find yourself in her place. Such thoughts can bring you to your senses.

4) Look for the positives

Troubles can play into our hands. Especially in terms of motivation. Bitten by a fly? Thank you for reminding me that it’s time to buy a mosquito net for the window.

Did you spill your favorite T-shirt? Shopping time! Anger management no longer seems unrealistic.

Even if the benefits are pretty dubious (I was planning to wear this T-shirt for at least another month!), positive thinking will allow you to calm down your anger.

Sometimes it’s better to convince yourself of innocent stupidity than to stir up a serious quarrel.

5) Talk to the offender

Imagine that all this did not happen to you, and try to enter into a neutral dialogue with the offender. Understand his motives, the reason for the action that angered you. If neither of you is focused on conflict, such a conversation will lead to a real truce.

How to deal with this? Part 2

The third stage of anger. She is already dangerous both for you and for the offender. Aggression can interfere with sound thinking, so a special approach is needed. Already at this stage it is important to know how to control your anger.

1) Step back

The offender now only makes you want to throw something weighty straight in his direction. That is why it is better to retire and distance yourself from his company as much as possible. The irritant should leave you while you cool down.

Anger, psychology, threat - nothing should bother him, he just has to go away. When the rage passes and only righteous anger remains, you can come out of your ascetic hiding place and start a conversation.

Watch your rage level. If it goes off scale, nothing will work out for you.

2) Breathe

Are you secluded, but want to scream and bang your fists against the wall? You urgently need to calm down; deep breathing techniques can help with this.

Oxygen will speed up the processes in your body and remove adrenaline faster. In addition, breathing techniques are used in meditation, and this is exactly what you need right now.

Sit down and take a deep breath. Slowly release this air and again take a quick, confident, oxygen-filling breath. If it helps, imagine how with each exhalation you are releasing all the negativity and anger from yourself.

After repeating this several times, you will feel clear relief. You can try this technique not only in solitude. But in this case, be prepared for a surprised look from your offender in response to your confident puffing.

3) Take your anger elsewhere

The rage can flare up so much that it seems impossible to calm down and come to your senses. I want to pour out everything that has accumulated, but where? The best choice would be a punching bag and a delivered punch.

Having protected your hands from injury, allow yourself to confidently take out all your anger on this pear. If you are not a fan of martial arts, regular exercise will help. Ideally, you should go to the gym, but if that doesn’t work out for you, drop to the floor and start doing push-ups and pumping up your abs.

This is not only useful, but also effective. Stress hormones will burn along with fat. Sounds tempting, doesn't it? Anger management can be like that.

4) Count to 10

One of the most common anger management tactics is counting to 10, to 50, to 100. It sounds crazy, but it works! In addition to anger, this technique helps to concentrate and endure pain. What is her secret?

When you count, your brain switches from a critical situation to number processing. This happens especially effectively when counting backwards to front - 100, 99, 98, 97... Stress hormones and adrenaline cease to be produced. The body goes into another mode.

The count can be used both in privacy and in direct contact with the offender. It all depends on your focus and self-control.

How to deal with this? Part 3

A state of uncontrollable rage or a state of passion is dangerous for you and everything around you. You cannot understand how to manage anger, so it is better to have a friend or loved one next to you who will protect you from recklessness.

But in most cases, we are faced with troubles one on one, and we have to think for ourselves how to cope with ourselves and the problem. Under such circumstances, you need to rely only on yourself.

1) Run

We have already advised you to seclude yourself, but at this stage of anger, escaping from the offender is simply a must. In a state of passion, you will not be able to do this, but feeling the storm growing inside you, take everything and run as far as possible.

The ideal location would be a large empty space, such as a field or steppe. In a city setting, this could be an empty courtyard or a deserted square at night. Don't run into a room with objects if you don't know how to manage anger. You may start hitting furniture and dishes, which you will regret later.

2) Shout

There are many people in the world who are passionate about screaming. They climb onto the roof, go out onto the balcony, go into nature and... scream! The whole point of their actions is that by screaming we release anger. And you know, this makes sense.

Try to run away and just scream. If you don't want to embarrass others, scream into a pillow. Your goal is to feel the full power of your scream, your anger, on your vocal cords. This will reduce the intensity and bring you to your senses, at least for a short period of time.

How to learn to meditate

Meditation is the oldest spiritual practice. Its healing effect has been proven not only on the psyche, but also on the body. Harmonization of all internal processes improves well-being and helps to calmly experience the most critical situations. You don’t have to attend expensive courses to learn the basics. There are some techniques that are easy to learn on your own.

A quiet corner in nature is perfect

Add activity to your life

If anger is your frequent companion, you may be lacking in physical activity. Increased levels of adrenaline in the blood can cause strong emotional reactions. It is successfully neutralized by active muscle work.

The most universal advice is to go in for sports. There is nothing better neither for physical health nor for moral. Sports train endurance, self-control, willpower, and endurance.

To relieve tension during a temper tantrum, boxing and sprinting are good options. You can take out all your anger on a punching bag, and you will immediately feel better.

However, to learn how to channel the energy of anger into a peaceful direction, these sports are not suitable. Psychologists advise choosing non-aggressive activities with a small number of participants. Another useful component is breathing techniques. During attacks of anger, the breathing rhythm is disrupted. By learning to control your breathing process, you will significantly reduce the severity of your emotional reaction.

Oriental martial arts are perfect: aikido, judo, karate. In addition to sports, they also have a spiritual component. The key concept of their philosophy is acceptance. The point of the fight is not to attack the enemy, but to parry the blow beautifully and accurately.

WATER AND BLOOD

One of the reasons for aggression is the struggle for resources.
Scientists compared the level of rainfall and the incidence of armed conflict in Africa and saw that these two variables are inversely related - the more rain, the less blood. What’s interesting is that comparisons were made in a variety of African countries, sometimes differing from each other in all respects. Potts M., Hayden T. Sex and war: how biology explains warfare and terrorism and offers a path to a safer world. Dallas, Tex.: Benbella Books, 2008.

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Physical exercise will help you “reset” negative energy and get rid of bad thoughts

When we move or engage in physical activity, we release endorphins that help us calm down.
This is another way to manage anger. How to control anger: Move, do any exercise... Go up and down the stairs, clean the house, go outside for a run, take a bike and ride around the city... anything that can somehow increase your adrenaline.

There are people who, in a fit of anger, begin to rush and hit whatever they can get their hands on. If you feel an overwhelming urge to hit something to quickly release energy, try purchasing a punching bag or something similar.

Don't be categorical

Categorical nature, maximalism, perfectionism - all these qualities enhance manifestations of anger. People who are too demanding of themselves and others are much more likely to experience disappointment and collapse of hope. Calm and phlegmatic people react to this with frustration, while more impulsive people may experience outbursts of aggression.

Start looking at things more simply and stop judging. Our world is not ideal, but that does not stop it from being beautiful. Forgive people for their weaknesses and imperfections, take off the mantle of judge and just enjoy life.

Get rid of the excellent student complex. You should not strive for excellent results in everything. Sometimes it is enough to do something with a C grade in order to leave time and energy for more important things.

Express anger in a safe space

It is not safe to express one's anger in a situation where there is a strong inequality of power between the parties. For example, you are alone and unarmed, but your opponents are armed and there are many of them. Therefore, step aside, arm yourself with your daddy, equip yourself with resources, gather the press, witnesses and support group, invite a lawyer, and then calmly make your claims. No anger.

Everyone, if necessary, knows how to say quietly, but meaningfully! Sometimes a simple voice recorder can become a powerful weapon.

Sometimes the most environmentally friendly decision may be this: do not quarrel with your tyrant boss now, but postpone the conversation until tomorrow. "The morning is wiser than the evening".

Of course, you can only be aware of your anger if you understand the boundaries of your interests and their violation. Therefore, when working with emotions and feelings, it is useful to know yourself. At least a little.