If the husband left the family, how long does it take for him to return: what is the likelihood that he will return?

Reasons for leaving

Any psychotherapist will begin by searching for the cause of what happened, identifying the root. Those who still hold on to the marriage will be able to look for their shortcomings in the list and promptly eradicate them (if they consider it necessary). So, it pushes husbands to leave the family:

Love affair on the side. Here we are talking about a strong attachment, for example, the meeting of first love or the lonely passion of youth. That is, the one he had been dreaming about since his student days appeared within easy reach, and she gave him hope for mutual happiness.
Female infidelity. It is not only men who are to blame for all the troubles. If a wife revels in the embrace of another, her husband is unlikely to forgive her. At least 90% of “horned” spouses do not accept their rival and will not listen to pleas for mercy.
Difficult situation in the family. If there are regular fights, pushing around, reproaches and threats at home, the spouse will first be late at work, and then simply disappear from the discomfort zone.
Financial trouble. A small salary is a stumbling block for many family ties. The situation can be complicated by the wife’s reluctance to help in a difficult situation, constant accusations of laziness and inability to support the family.
Sexual insufficiency. The term is unofficial, but it reflects the essence. Often after the birth of a child, the husband fades into the background, waiting for the end of the breastfeeding period, then adaptation to kindergarten, getting ready for school, the difficulties of adolescence, etc. But men always want more intimacy. And neither a child’s cry nor fatigue interferes with this.
Wife's appearance. Yes, in marriage there is a transformation of lovers into a woman in tights and a bun and a man with a belly and a sofa. Maybe not for everyone, maybe not every day. And if, in the rest of his life, a man is surrounded by well-groomed girls with attractive aromas, then reproaches and discontent will begin.

The last point causes particular irritation, because no one is obliged to wear high heels and makeup at home. Although there is some truth. Loungewear can be beautiful, and a bun will not be accompanied by an angry look. Still, everyday responsibilities eat up beauty, but it’s worth fighting for youth, if only for your own sake.

Manipulate children

Children are immaculate angels, but mothers who want to return a man, through manipulation, suggest that an evil woman took dad away from the family. And now the child is plotting terrible intrigues against the evil stepmother, who took his weak-willed father away from the family. Sometimes, such intrigues take on the scale of a disaster, and a woman regrets that she connected her life with a man with a child. Sooner or later, the homewrecker’s patience ends, and the man is safely thrown out the door. Whether your couple is in danger of breaking up, the Tarot reading “Will the relationship continue” will help you find out.

A mistress is an ordinary woman

By starting an affair on the side, a married man does not want to destroy his family. Men are practical and know that after some time, his airy goddess, who admires clever speeches, will become an ordinary woman, absorbed in a boring life. The bed, burning with passion, will turn into a wretched marital bed, and the man already has all this at home. So why should he ruin his usual way of life in order to get exactly the same thing? Having realized this, he will begin to be burdened by new relationships, because he has a lot in common with his old family.

Reasons for leaving your mistress

This reason deserves separate consideration, since men usually do not go anywhere, they prescribe in detail the path to retreat. But will the husband be happy with his mistress? Statistics answer unequivocally - “No”. In fact, it is not difficult to take a man away from the family, but it is too early to rejoice at the homewrecker. Thus, the majority of those who left the home do not even officially break off their marriage at first, and after 4-6 months, 80% even break off the marriage altogether. So what pushes you to take a rash step:

Polygamy. Allegedly, you can’t go against genetics; men tend to cheat and look for variety. It’s strange, everyone agrees with this, but women continue to be blamed for seeking the strong and rich, capable of protecting and providing for offspring.
Hunter's instinct. Another theory, a tribute to tradition. Allegedly, the male needs to conquer, look for an unapproachable victim, and the wife is already at home “a read book.”
Suppression. How does a husband feel when he leaves the family? Freedom, emancipation, lack of control and reporting. Career women often become the head of the family, giving their husband the role of housewife or lover. The male Ego diligently breaks out of the female shadow, and sometimes arranges an escape. True, usually not for long.
Routine. Monotony in bed and in life can torment both. The wife usually seeks salvation in the upbringing and development of children, arranging for them a whirlpool of clubs, parks, sections and circles, and the husband arranges a holiday for himself with a younger, freer and more cheerful one.
Sexual lull. Another unofficial term. When a friendly truce comes between the spouses, including cheerful conversations, dinners together and falling asleep in the same bed. But it's more like teenage friendship at camp. When a man doesn’t ask for sex, but his wife is happy about it, it means he has somewhere to drain his testosterone. True, usually such a family does not break up, and when the spouses establish a connection, the mistress is simply cut off.

Make good use of your time

Relationships with a man consume a lot of women's time. Often women change their priorities towards spending time with a man, preferring him to a fitness club, self-care and self-development. Now a woman can manage her own time, of which she has a lot.

The best decision would be to use the time to your advantage. Get back to physical training, do what you have long dreamed of. Analyze everything that happened to you, find new goals, take a break from relationships and fill yourself with new energy. And then meeting a new man will not take long.

The way home

So, we understand the reason for leaving, now it’s worth figuring out how to find out whether the husband will return to the family? The faithful actually gives a lot of signs, either consciously, wanting to leave a warm place to retreat, or unconsciously.

Circumstances of leaving

In fact, words and actions before saying goodbye directly affect future events. So, there are several options:

Hollywood - screaming, hysterics, collecting things and throwing everything in a row, swearing and cursing;
quiet getting ready - He announces calmly and coldly that he is leaving for another, things are either folded in advance or packed with a precise arrangement of movements.

Who do you think will return? Of course, the one who caused the emotional explosion left in the heat of passion and succumbing to attraction. Men by nature try to weigh everything and think it over. Therefore, the calmer He speaks, the less likely it is that this is a midlife crisis, when the husband returns after yet another realization that he is no longer 25.

Divorce documents

Leaving your wife is not like rushing off into the sunset at age 20. Legal obligations are sometimes stronger than love bonds. And if you add to this minor children, a mortgage and jointly acquired property, then the scales of freedom will involuntarily tip towards obligations. Although even here there are those who will run from alimony, hate their past life and scream at all corners about how their ex-wife oppresses him. Others will be trampled by their mistresses, who do not want to give away half of the income of the newly-made chosen one, and even share his attention and care with constant calls to pick him up from kindergarten or fix the faucet. Therefore, when husbands leave, they often completely forget that they need to file for divorce. This kind of departure means that he will take a walk and come back.

Why do men want to restore relationships?

The problem of why men return after a breakup has been studied by psychology. Several factors have been identified:

longing for past relationships;
reluctance to share a girl with another person;
awareness of error;
disappointment in other women;
loneliness.

How long it takes for men to return to women after a breakup depends on how quickly they realize their sincere feelings. Only after the breakup does the guy understand who she was to him and how important she is.

Longing for past relationships

The human subconscious displaces the unpleasant moments of life, they are quickly forgotten. Therefore, after leaving, men often remember only the good events that they experienced. The guy now has a lot of other worries and troubles. There is a desire to see a white streak in life. At the moment, the man associates her with his former passion. He wants to relive the happy moments that he had in his life.

Not wanting to share your ex with someone else

Sometimes a man believes that since the woman belonged to him, it means that it should continue to be so, even if they broke up a long time ago. He is annoyed that another person will touch her, kiss her, make her happy. A sense of competition immediately awakens in him. He wants to be a winner. As long as the lady spends time with family and friends, he is calm. As soon as she has a boyfriend, the ex-man again begins to show signs of attention. But as soon as he returns the girl, he will no longer need her again. His main goal is to feel victory.

Realizing the error

There are guys who realize that their behavior was undignified. They begin to regret that they treated their loved ones poorly. This explains why guys go back to their ex-girlfriends. But sometimes, after returning, melancholy overtakes. A good guy turns into a bad person. He leaves again, promising not to remember the lady, not to look in her direction. As a rule, it is not enough for a long time.

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How to forget a guy you love very much: the subtleties of female psychology

Disappointment in other girls

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the guy goes in search of a new lover. He looks for qualities in women that were not present in his former passion. The man is sure that there are more beautiful young ladies, because there are so many of them in this world. After several failures, the guy concludes that his ex was the best, and everyone else is boring and uninteresting, even if they are beautiful and sexy.

Loneliness

The man leaves the woman, raising his head proudly. He is sure that he is irresistible, so he will quickly find a replacement for her. Having met other girls, he comes to the conclusion that he is tired of them. The man is left alone. There is no one to cook, wash, clean or iron. It's cold in bed alone, it's uncomfortable at home. Suddenly he remembers his former passion, forgets everything bad that happened to her, wants her back.

Other reasons

There are other reasons why men come back after a breakup. For example, when former spouses have children together. If he is a loving father and does not want his child to be raised by a stepfather, he will return to the family. But if it is difficult for spouses to be together, they constantly quarrel, then reunification will only do harm.

Some men believe that their ex-girlfriend will disappear and will not be able to withstand the problems that will fall on her shoulders. He might even want to commit suicide. To prevent this, the guys are returning. Lovers of passions, for whom it is difficult together, and even worse apart, also renew their relationship.

True story

Whether to accept your ex-husband back after a divorce largely depends on how long it took for him to decide to return. At first, emotional instability takes him to extremes, from the desire to burn all his things to to forgive and love until the end of his days, if only this nightmare would finally end. Unfortunately, the first option is more realistic than the second. Because even upon returning, everything will not be the same as before. There are many published stories where a husband left for his mistress and then returned to the family nest. And it seems that he is the same, the same character, the same appearance, but the look, the lack of trust, the tormenting doubts inside, turned life into hell.

Here is one of the true stories told to me first hand. My friend married for love, after 5 years of dating and an unofficial romance. But they lived together for only a year, and the faithful rushed out the door. And nothing foreshadowed, the house was clean and tidy, his wife was beautiful, his things were always perfect, the food was hot and tasty. When her husband announced that he was leaving for his mistress, she was struck like lightning under a cloudless sky; she did not know how to behave, who to blame. All she knew was that she loved her madly and had no intention of letting her go.

But her friend was not going to fight hand-to-hand with her rival. I took a more evolutionary and educated path. And if I only learned about the moment of leaving from her, then we already felt the rest together. It all started with watching numerous YouTube channels about unfaithful husbands, their psychology and the rationality of their actions. To be more faithful, we watched a couple of videos about unfaithful wives. Then we went through practices on increasing self-esteem, learned the secrets of seduction and went shopping for a new wardrobe. This was the most logical and adequate thing, which only took about a month.

The husband miraculously did not show up, so the forces of the universe came into play. At this point I decided to take a break, but a friend says that she managed to clear her mind and aura, become cleaner and more enlightened. At the same time, under witchcraft rituals with chants under the moon, she cleared the house of debris and moved heavy furniture according to the forces of Qi. And either the spirits heeded her persistence, or the neighbors with pleas for the noise to stop, or it was fate, but when she tried to push a chair into the elevator to get rid of the energy frozen in it, He showed up on the threshold.

As a result, He helped her take out the chair, and at the same time come in for tea after working part-time as a loader. As a result, they got to talking, he asked for forgiveness, said that it was a momentary infatuation, that he was to blame. She did not tell me how much she had done to get him back, she simply agreed to forgive. And it just so happened that 4.5 months have passed since leaving. This is exactly the period psychologists voice when calculating how long it takes for a husband to return from his mistress. Coincidence?

How to understand that your husband's intention is sincere?

People who have been married for several years know the habits, desires, their partner, his life story. A man who wants to return a woman “arms himself” with just such knowledge. The main signs of the sincerity of an ex-husband:

Perseverance. When the desire to restore the family is real, the man will not stop after his wife says “no.”
Romance (flowers, sweets, entertainment). The ex-partner is not shy about doing what his beloved likes.
Past memories. The man, through his behavior, persistently tries to remind him of the time when both were happy.
Apologies. A person’s frank admission of his mistakes and omissions in the past.

The list goes on and on. Usually women are able to simply sense whether their husband's intentions are true. The experience of living together allows you to see through a person.

A serious conversation about the advisability of restoring relationships will help put everything in its place. It is also necessary to look at the events that happened from the outside. Was the decision to divorce hasty, or is this an irrevocable and final ending? In the first case, there is no doubt about the sincerity of intentions. The second option involves weighing the pros and cons, reasoning and observation.

He will not return

There is still that 20% that will not come back. Moreover, this is largely facilitated by the behavior of the ex-wife herself. It happens that the husband rushes about, he left the family, but he continues to come, but cannot stay. Often, because he returns exactly to where he ran away from. Therefore, if the desire to return a man persists, you should avoid making a number of common mistakes:

Humiliate yourself and beg for your return. This approach will push him away even further, especially if it is done at the moment of his epic screaming departure. Don't fall, don't ask. They don’t return to the weak, and living not out of love, but out of pity, is the worst of all.
Threats and manipulation. This can include the entire spectrum of intimidation, from suicide attempts to the inability to see children. You shouldn't go this route. This certainly won’t add beauty to the ex-wife, but the husband is definitely capable of inflaming him with hatred for her.
Questions about the future. A rather naive warning, but in one of the sources, there was advice that questions like “Where are you going?”, “Who are you going to?” will make him think and stay. Or in this way, it will be possible to understand the sobriety of the decision made. Don’t think that when he leaves, he will pour out his soul before the final credits with a happy ending, like a villain from a low-budget film.
Persecution. Calls, spying on a new passion, all this is only beautiful in TV series. In reality, it is humiliating and ineffective. The worst thing is to go even further and start ruining your ex’s life in every possible way.
Depression. Divorce is, of course, a very difficult event for the psyche, but falling into long-term despondency over this is not an option. Especially if there are children waiting at home who need an adequate and strong mother. Crying is allowed, but only for a limited time.
Search for a replacement. As revenge or in order to show that not only He is capable of pleasing other people, you should not go to bed with the first person you meet. Feelings of shame and personal humiliation are guaranteed. After ending a marriage, you should first raise your self-esteem, work on your mental well-being, and then build a new life.

The further, the more ideal

Time is a merciless teacher. The mistress, who became the wife, is nearby every day and has become commonplace. Scandals with a man and inevitable quarrels with relatives will force a man to remember his past wife, and his memory will present her in an ideal light. After all, everything bad has been erased. And now it seems to the man that his former wife’s pies were more rosy, and she got along with her mother much better.

The mistress is now endowed with more negative traits compared to the ex-wife. Remember, memory is selective, and often a man remembers the best moments from his family life. The ex-wife, having acquired ideal qualities over time, will become a tasty morsel for a man, and he will want to return to her.

Results

So, many are trying to escape from a legal marriage, but the overwhelming majority are trying to return. The main thing is to behave calmly, not to succumb to resentment, pain, and not to try to find out everything immediately after announcing your departure. As time passes, the ex will be pulled back, and it’s up to the offended spouse to decide whether to accept or learn from mistakes and prevent divorce next time. They do not leave strong, independent, self-sufficient women who have a goal in life and it is not concentrated in the world of one man. Those who have been abandoned can look back and see that they devoted themselves entirely to family and home, but in the end they were left with nothing. Family is a constant work, an investment of strength, but not only in comfort and husband, but, first of all, in yourself.

Write in the comments, is it worth letting the runaway husband back? What reasons for leaving can become a lesson, and which can be forgiven?

Comes from childhood

The famous phrase of psychologists: “we all come from childhood” is especially acute in family relationships. A totalitarian mother and an incomplete family can cause childhood traumas that a man will bring into his family life. Infantile, rushing between two women, he will not be able to decide who is more suitable for him and will bring misfortune to both women. The man will leave and return until they make a choice for him.

Do people get back together after divorce?

Question: “How to live further?” becomes the main one.

Any physical activity burns it, like in a furnace. It also protects against exhaustion and nervous breakdowns, which may require medication, psychotherapy and rehabilitation assistance. In our urbanized world, people forget about this, because stress hormones force the body to work for wear and tear.

From love to hate there is only one step; it is easier to destroy than to create.

These two truths perfectly characterize couples who break up under the influence of emotions and then get back together.

Spouses who decide to get back together after a divorce can be roughly divided into five categories. The first group includes spouses who were unable to survive the separation.

How to save your family and keep your loved one?

According to statistics, every second family breaks up after the first year of marriage. How can you save your family and live happily ever after with your loved one? The answer is simple - work on relationships. Family life is painstaking daily work. Both sides must make an effort to strike the perfect balance.

A popular proverb says: “The husband is the head, and the wife is the neck.” Which direction family relationships will turn depends on the woman. A representative of the fair half of humanity is able to keep her beloved husband even in the most hopeless situation. Several recommendations from psychologists for preserving family relationships:

Focus on your husband's positive qualities. A person is not a robot with a set of given functions; he has the right to make mistakes, get tired, and rest. Remember all the good things you loved about your spouse. Negative emotions will immediately go away.
Open up to your partner. Wives mistakenly believe that their husbands understand everything at a glance, and it turns out that the wife hints, and then is offended that her husband did not understand anything. Men don’t know how to think, they need to clearly formulate their desires and thoughts.
Understand yourself. Problems that come from childhood are often projected onto one’s own family in adulthood. Once the root of the problem is removed, conflicts will practically disappear.
Don't be afraid to take the first step. Men appreciate it when their partner wants to take the initiative.
Keep calm. Scandals over trifles, uncontrollable jealousy, hysteria are bad ways to keep your loved one close. Yoga classes will help you relax and increase stress resistance.
Develop yourself. Self-development improves personal qualities and adds confidence. An intelligent and beautiful woman is a source of pride for her husband and a clear reason to stay.
Try to understand your partner. Expressing empathy for your spouse is key to maintaining a good relationship.
Don't be stingy with praise. It encourages your partner to become a better person and lifts your spirits.
Joint activities. Offer your loved one a new hobby that will strengthen the union and promote rapprochement.
Know how to forgive, but don’t do it systematically. Remember that perfect people do not exist.

The psychology of family relationships involves combining efforts aimed at strengthening and preserving a marriage. Love and trust can be easily restored after a breakup. The main thing is to know for sure that this is necessary, to be patient and strong. In complicated situations, partners will receive qualified assistance from a specialist.