Self-confidence is a groundless confidence in the absence of negative properties and disadvantages in character. Self-confidence must be distinguished from such a concept as self-confidence, which is a personality trait, the core of which is a person’s positive assessment of personal abilities and skills as sufficient to satisfy and achieve goals, as well as needs.
A person’s perception of himself personally significantly influences how other people perceive him. The more success an individual has in life, the more self-confident he feels. Some factors influencing the development of self-confidence are beyond our control, but there are still some ways in which we can actually consciously strengthen it.
What does "overconfident" mean?
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How do you know when you've crossed the line and become "too much"?
- You are convinced that you know more than others, you have more knowledge and experience.
When it seems to you that no one around is able to give you advice because you know more, then this is the first sign that you are an overly self-confident person.
- You don't take criticism well.
Moreover, you are sure that you have no disadvantages or shortcomings.
Your actions are always correct and do not lend themselves to criticism from others. It’s difficult for you to accept that you did something, you probably perceive other people’s words as nit-picking.
- You take any disagreement quite aggressively.
If a person says something that contradicts your opinion, then you stand up in defense. You rarely try to listen and come to a common opinion; mostly you very confidently defend your position, sometimes turning into aggression.
What does inflated and inadequate self-esteem lead to?
- You have become more suspicious.
It seems to you that everyone around you wants something from you or is trying to attack you. You have little trust in people, considering them hostile against you. It seems to you that it is better to be on guard and ready for an attack than to miss a blow.
- You have become conflicted.
Most often, your communication with other people ends in quarrels. You hold a grudge for a long time, often take offense at little things, and rarely forgive.
- You often strive to do everything at once.
Or you are trying to do something for which you do not yet have enough resources. You exaggerate your chances, overestimate your capabilities. All this leads to overload, because you cannot quit, you cannot give up and show your weakness. Sometimes there are risks in your life, sometimes quite dangerous.
Excessive self-confidence leads to rash actions. For example, you agreed to play “weakly” and will definitely perform the action so as not to seem like a coward or a weakling in the eyes of your opponent. You are trying to overtake, succeed, prove. Therefore, first you do, and then you think.
Negative consequences of arrogance
The main problems of people prone to arrogance are their inability to establish long-term and reliable contacts with others, be it communication with work colleagues, friends or neighbors. An arrogant person has a hard time getting close to people , he is prone to conflicts, which makes it more difficult for him to build a career and personal relationships with the opposite sex, more difficult to make friends and simply communicate with acquaintances.
Often people prone to arrogance really have a very difficult character, which is why they cannot truly change. They need to understand that this pattern of behavior only complicates and destroys their lives. We will talk about methods of combating arrogance below.
The dangers of overconfidence
As you have already seen, excessive self-confidence can be dangerous.
What else is unpleasant about this quality:
- Difficulties in building relationships.
Do you agree that few people would want to communicate or be friends with a person who often argues, is clever and considers himself better than others? When a person talks a lot about himself, does what he wants, regardless of whether he interferes with others, violates their boundaries or not, he always causes negativity in other people.
- Illiterate distribution of resources.
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Maximum expenditure of strength and energy - “took on an unbearable burden” - this is precisely about overly self-confident people. Take on a lot of responsibilities, set a high bar, load yourself with a lot of things - all this in order to prove something to someone, show your superiority, win an argument.
- Living in your own world, escaping reality.
After all, you won’t be able to be the best in everything. In order to think that you are the best, you need to have limitless imagination. And then it is not necessary to develop physical skills and broaden their horizons; self-development is also usually not included in the plans of such people. All you need is to think that you are the best. And it doesn’t matter that others don’t think so or that you’re not like that.
conclusions
Manifestations of arrogance can be traced throughout the history of mankind - the elevation of oneself above others for many centuries was understood as something due, especially if it concerned emperors, kings and other rulers.
But these days, a person prone to arrogant behavior is perceived not as the ruler of an entire power, but as a poorly educated and unpleasant person , who also has serious problems with self-esteem. The vast majority of arrogant people are unhappy, and therefore it is important to detect this negative character trait in yourself in time and try to get rid of it.
How to get rid of overconfidence
If you have determined that you are behaving in a similar way and have realized that you need to fight it, then here are some tips on what to do in such a situation:
- Try to be realistic.
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Evaluate your capabilities before agreeing to something or making commitments. Think before you do anything. Giving up something does not mean showing weakness. This is rationality, proper distribution of resources, respect for oneself and one’s health.
- Stop underestimating others.
Their wishes are also important. Listen to the feelings of others, to their opinions. Take their side too, this does not mean that you have to accept their position and abandon yours. Rather, it means that you respect others and let them speak, because everyone has the right to freedom of opinion.
- Don't compare yourself to others.
Each of us is unique, each has its own pros and cons. Everyone has different abilities and resources. In some ways you are better than others, in some ways they are superior to you. Develop in the direction that interests you, go forward without comparing yourself with others, just move towards your goal. Let yourself be your motivator. Reaching heights, today you become better than yesterday.
- Move towards your goal gradually.
Don't run forward headlong. Don't try to jump over your head. Save your strength, achieve your goals slowly, step by step. This is the only way you will get not only an excellent result, but also pleasure from the process.
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- Don't try to repeat after someone, be unique.
Follow your desires. You don’t need to jump from a height to be no worse than someone else, do it if you really want it. If you want to learn the same way as someone else, then learn it, don’t try to repeat it without preparation, don’t take risks.
- Analyze your mistakes.
Think about why this happened and how you can fix it. Don’t be lazy, improve yourself, move forward, help yourself change. Don’t brush aside criticism and advice, accept it, especially from loved ones and those who only want the best for you.
Being a confident person is wonderful. Control this quality, don’t let it take over your personality. Everything is good in moderation.
They establish a secure attachment style
Self-esteem is closely related to the type of attachment. Therefore, it begins to form in childhood, when the baby establishes a close connection (attachment) with the main people in his life - his parents. If they respond appropriately and consistently to the child's needs, offering him love and respect, then he grows up feeling important and worthy of love. In fact, it is in the first years of their lives that children learn to trust both themselves and others, and learn to manage relationships where there is interdependence.
A secure attachment style learned in childhood is later transferred to other relationships. Consequently, these people are able to feel emotional closeness without becoming dependent on another person. They generally enjoy healthy and strong relationships.
Why overconfidence is bad
Self-confidence helps you reach heights, move forward and realize yourself. It is difficult for self-confident people to inspire something, to lower their self-esteem or to “break” them. After all, such people know their worth, are familiar with their shortcomings and weaknesses. They are constantly working on them.
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The main thing is “not to turn up your nose”, remember about others, and not be selfish. After all, when you start thinking only about yourself, you will definitely hurt someone’s feelings or offend a loved one. Consider other people's feelings and desires.
Accept help and support, do not suspect people of some kind of deception or greed. Listen to other people's opinions, this does not mean that you should do something against your will, just take advice, analyze and decide what to do. Often people come up with good solutions, you just need to be able to listen.
Don't be afraid to speak your mind, but also respect others. Don't impose your point of view. Don't try to seem smarter, stronger, better. Just know your worth and go towards your goal without shouting about it at every corner. Show results, and don’t try to prove your strength and abilities only with words. Help others, one day they will help you.
Don't laugh at the weak, but give them support. Treat everyone with respect. Don’t break yourself or try to break someone, respect their right to be themselves. Accept it as it is. Only then will you not be afraid of excessive self-confidence.
Causes
Arrogance is not an innate character trait, it is a typical acquired trait. Psychologists identify two main reasons for its development: the individual’s overcompensation for his own shortcomings and a painful increase in self-esteem against the backdrop of real achievements. Consequently, the development of arrogance is provoked by:
- a feeling of inferiority, low self-esteem, an attempt to compensate for self-doubt;
- inflated self-esteem, developed both due to real and under the influence of imagined successes;
- personality tendency towards egocentrism and selfishness;
- the cultivation of false values within the family, when children are instilled with a hereditary sense of arrogance and arrogance from an early age, or they openly make the child a “family idol”;
- a tendency to flattery when communicating with an arrogant person (this model of behavior only convinces him that he is right).
Usually arrogance develops on the basis of improper upbringing, although sometimes the cause of its occurrence is the human qualities of a particular individual.
Signs of low self-esteem
If a person has low self-esteem, then he has the following qualities:
- Constant self-criticism and dissatisfaction with oneself;
- A person's sensitivity to criticism and the opinions of other people;
- Hesitancy to make decisions and fear of making mistakes;
- Jealousy in personal relationships;
- Constant envy of other people's success;
- The desire to please other people, and at the same time frequent hostility to the outside world;
- A person often has to defend himself, and he has a need to constantly justify his actions and actions;
- Often in life a person is pessimistic and negative.
When a person has low self-esteem and some difficulties arise, he perceives these failures as permanent, and therefore draws the wrong conclusions. The worse an individual begins to treat himself, the worse the people around him treat him, and in the future this leads to depression and mental disorder.
They enjoy subjective well-being more
Subjective well-being is determined by feelings of happiness, pleasure, satisfaction with life and the absence of unpleasant emotional states.
The kind of well-being we all strive for is more accessible to people with high self-esteem. Since we are the most important people in our lives, maintaining a good relationship with ourselves brings peace and joy.
People with high self-esteem are happy with themselves the way they are. They do not delve into themselves and do not reprimand for the slightest mistake; they accept and love their real selves. For this reason, they value their achievements, talents and opportunities much more than others. This means they get more positive emotions.
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They are more optimistic and cheerful
People who know their worth, believe that they deserve the best, look into the future with optimism. They know that everything will work out for the best, even if they encounter difficulties and obstacles. Self-confidence allows them to expect good results, since they have everything they need to achieve their goals. They also focus more on what they are doing well and how to improve the aspects that are not working. Therefore, they don’t get stuck in the image of a victim and self-pity.
Moreover, when difficulties arise, people with high self-esteem cope better with them, learn from their mistakes and only become stronger. Indeed, the level of self-esteem means that they are able to take care of themselves, therefore, they go through all the tests faster and with fewer losses.
