Culture and history tell us that marriages between older men and young girls were common in the past. And even today, many guys prefer their partner to be younger.
But this is not a rule at all, but only one of three possible scenarios for the age relationship between partners. The most popular is still a union between peers and people less than five years apart. By the way, according to statistics, it is in their group that there are the fewest divorces.
- M+F The ideal age difference between a man and a woman: does it exist?
The third, also absolutely normal category of couples is where she is older than him. And it is precisely this kind of union that we will talk about today. What are the main nuances of such relationships, and what are the pros and cons? Let's discuss.
Wife is Older than Husband: 5 Potential Benefits
Before we begin, we want to clarify that the advantages and disadvantages of unions with a large age difference listed below are average and approximate. Each couple is unique and has its own experience of building relationships and the specifics of interaction.
Sexual compatibility
American biologist and sexologist Alfred Kinsey's classic work on sexuality concluded that male sex hormones peak at age 18, and female hormones peak after age 30. Of course, sexuality is influenced by other factors, such as experience with sex or libido levels, but a man increases his chances of intimate compatibility by marrying a partner who is older than him.
Maturity in relationships
Over the years, a person usually becomes more mature and gains experience. This means that he (or she) has a clearer idea of what he wants from a relationship and will be more serious about choosing a partner.
Maturity in raising children
Raising children is a much more complex and stressful process than many people think. It requires the maturity and composure to consistently set limits but not too much, remain calm, and work through problems together with your child. A woman over 30 will probably find it easier to do this than a woman in her twenties.
- M+F 5 reasons why dating an older woman is your best choice
Most likely, she has already achieved some success in her career
As mentioned above, mature people had more time to move forward in their careers. So, when a wife is older than her husband, on average, it not only increases the chances that she will contribute more money to the household income, but she may also be able to offer career advice and even help her spouse find a better job.
In addition, having an experienced and successful woman as a partner allows for confidential career counseling, which is less likely in an alliance with a peer.
Health compatibility
Statistics show that women live five years longer and men die earlier in nine out of ten leading causes of death. Research summarized in a BBC review notes that the difference in life expectancy is due not only to lifestyle, but also to biology - genes and hormones.
From this we can conclude that a man who chooses a woman five years older is marrying his “physiological peer.”
Which men prefer older ladies?
There is an opinion that a girl must certainly be 3-7 years younger than her chosen one, or even 10. However, modern men are moving away from this trend and more often try to choose women the same age, and some are not at all embarrassed by the age advantage of their partner. These men include:
- Those who lacked maternal care in childhood. The gentleman is subconsciously looking for a lady who can compensate for this shortcoming, who will be both a wife and a mother in one person.
- Guys who copy their parents' relationships. If a boy grew up in a family where his mother was older than his father, and mutual understanding always reigned in the house, then he, of course, will look for a more mature companion.
- Those who are smart beyond their years. Psychological age can easily not correspond to real age. There are men who are simply bored with their peers. They do not see potential in them, and therefore are drawn to ladies who will satisfy their intellectual appetites.
- Men who are looking for development. Next to an experienced and accomplished companion, a guy develops faster and achieves his goals. Such a woman knows how to inspire and properly motivate.
Young husband and older wife: 3 potential problems
Despite the fact that a man may be more comfortable in bed and more interesting with an older woman, such unions also have three common nuances that a couple may encounter.
Condemnation of society
If you and your beloved are happy with each other and want to get married, you should not be stopped by the opinions of others.
However, alas, it is very likely that you will (more than once) hear negative statements from close and unfamiliar people regarding your union, especially if in it the wife is 20 years or more older than her husband. You should be prepared for this and not allow other people’s prejudices to affect your relationship.
Inability to have children
The modern level of medicine helps a woman give birth to a healthy child at both 30 and 40 years old, but when the wife is 15 years or more older than her husband, you should discuss the issue of procreation in advance.
- M+F Why doesn't a woman want children, and what should a man do? Main reasons and tips Why does this happen and what can you do?
Do you both want children? Will it be safe for your loved one to go through pregnancy? Are alternative options such as surrogacy or adoption right for you?
Specifics of sexual life after menopause
Menopause or menopause is a period of physiological changes in the body during which a woman loses the ability to have children. As a rule, it occurs at age 50, although there are exceptions and it can happen later or earlier.
In some cases, the onset of menopause can temporarily negatively affect sex life due to decreased libido levels. In addition, the woman begins to experience vaginal dryness, but this problem is easily solved with the help of a lubricant, and with it, the quality of your sexual intercourse should not be reduced.
What are the advantages of such a union for a lady?
We have listed all the benefits related to either living together or having a man. But there are also those that directly affect women.
For example, when a woman is 7 years older than a man, she willy-nilly has to pay attention to her appearance. She starts visiting gyms to get her figure in order.
This cannot but affect her health in the most positive way. She visits beauty salons and maybe even resorts to plastic surgery.
After all, she needs to look great next to her young lover.
conclusions
The most important thing in choosing a wife, of course, is your compatibility: sexual, interpersonal, in values, as well as kindness and attentiveness to each other. And love between you, of course. As you may have noticed, age is not included in this list.
You may be more likely to find a wife you'll be happy with in the long run if you don't limit your interactions to girls your own age or younger. Look at the person and how good you feel with him, and not at the numbers in her passport.
Celebrity couples in which the husband is younger than the wife: 8 examples
Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte Macron
Difference: 24 years
Photo by @emmanuelmacron
Emmanuel Macron is a French politician who became President of France on May 14, 2021. He has been married to Brigitte Tronier since 2007, and she is 24 years older than him. They first met when Macron was 15 years old and Brigitte was his teacher.
In 2006, Brigitte divorced Andre Louis Ozier, with whom she had been married since 1974, and in 2007 married Macron.
Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet
Difference: 12 years
Photo @ prideofgypsies
Jason Momoa, an actor, model and producer, met actress Lisa Bonet in 2005. She is 12 years older than him. In 2007, their daughter Lola Aiolani was born. She was followed in 2008 by their son Nakoa-Wolf Manakoapo Namakaha.
The couple formalized their relationship in 2021, although many believed that they had been married since 2007. This was the second marriage for Lisa Bonet, as she was previously married to Lenny Kravitz from 1987 to 1994.
Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling
Difference: 6 years
View this post on Instagram
Posted by Eva Mendes (@evamendes) Mar 12, 2021 at 10:47 am PDT
Strictly speaking, this couple of famous Hollywood actors is not legally married. However, they are in a long-term relationship and have two children together. Mendes is six years older than Gosling.
Ryan and Eva began dating in 2011 after meeting while filming The Place Beyond the Pines. Since then they have lived together, and they had two daughters: Esmeralda in 2014, and Amada Lee in 2016.
Bart Freundlich and Julianne Moore
Difference: 9 years
Photo by @juliannemoore
Director, screenwriter and producer Bart Freundlich chose a wife who is nine years older than him. He met actress Julianne Moore in 1996 on the set of the film Shadows of the Past. They had a son, Caleb, in 1997, and a daughter, Lice Helen, in 2002. The couple got married on August 23, 2003.
Aaron and Sam Taylor-Johnson
Difference: 24 years
Photo by @samtaylorjohnson
Aaron Johnson and Sam Taylor-Wood have one of the biggest age gaps in Hollywood. The couple met on the set of the film “Becoming John Lennon” in 2009. At that time he was only 18 years old and she was 42 years old.
By November of that year, the couple announced their engagement, marrying at Babington House in Somerset, England on June 21, 2012. After the wedding, both spouses changed their last names to Taylor-Johnson. They now have two children together: Wilda Rey was born in 2010, and Romi Hiro was born in 2012.
Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness
Difference: 13 years
Photo by @thehughjackman
Despite their age difference, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness remain one of the most loyal couples in Hollywood circles. The age difference between them is 13 years. Jackman and Furness first met in 1995 while working on the television show Correlli.
They married a year later in Melbourne, Australia. Furness had several miscarriages, so the couple decided to adopt a child. Now the couple has two adopted children: son Oscar Maximilian was born in 2000, and daughter Ava Eliot was born in 2005.
Tom Kaulitz and Heidi Klum
Difference: 17 years
Photo by @heidiklum
The famous German couple - a model and a guitarist - began dating in 2018, having met on the set of the program “Germany’s Next Top Model.” Heidi is 17 years older than Tom. The lovers got married in 2021 on the Italian island of Capri.
Maxim Galkin and Alla Pugacheva
Difference: 27 years
Photo @maxgalkinru
The Russian showman and diva got married in 2011, but, as Alla Borisovna admitted, they began dating secretly back in 2001. In 2013, the couple gave birth to twins Elizabeth and Harry, who were born thanks to a surrogate mother. After six years of marriage, in 2017 the couple got married in the Archangel Michael Church, located in the Moscow region.
- Author: Maria Minaeva
Women's complexes
According to psychologists, a woman who marries a man much younger than herself seeks to increase her self-esteem. And this is quite natural. After all, it is unlikely that a spouse who is not confident in herself will be a good wife. She will begin to suspect the man of infidelity and will demand any evidence of the sincerity of his feelings. In addition, her grievances will arise literally out of the blue. However, not all women are able to remain confident in themselves at the moment when they begin to show signs of aging, and the husband enters the period of heyday of attractiveness. It is also sad that many young spouses, over time, suddenly begin to realize that their marriage was unsuccessful and “trial”.
Understanding
As you know, sometimes a woman’s mood can change depending on the time of day, PMS, pregnancy and other factors. Young guys don’t understand how this can happen, so they simply don’t know how to react to such manifestations. When there is an age difference of 8 years and the man is older, he understands the woman better. Such a partner will try to smooth out the situation and find the right words that will bring a smile to his beloved’s face.
They want to be your date
0
Source:
Maybe this is due to the greater desire to start a family in older age, but the fact remains that older women want your couple to be a real team. This trait is ideal for those looking for a long-term relationship. Young girls, unfortunately, are more focused on themselves and their feelings in relationships.
They are calm and balanced
0
Source:
Young women are very emotional creatures. They are not yet mature enough to manage their emotions wisely, so their flow can simply sweep away a person who is not prepared for this. Over the years, girls learn to cope with emotions and manage them so as not to inadvertently destroy existing relationships.
Spouses of the same age
Such married couples were common in the last century, especially during the Soviet period. Many young people knew each other since school, and after graduation they started families. The advantages of these alliances were obvious. The partners had common interests, they were surrounded by the same friends and peers.
Horses, ducks and even dragons: what figures were carved on the roof of a Russian hut
Like a rug: Jane decorated an old concrete porch with a stencil and paint
Electronic prescriptions in Russia will allow you to order prescription medications online
Prioritization, the same worldview - all this allowed the partners to become like-minded people. However, there were plenty of disadvantages in these marriages. There was a lack of money and experience; such families could be called infantile, since the parents decided everything for the partners. This went on for quite a long time until the young people themselves got on their feet and began to solve their problems on their own.
Security
Most women instinctively try to choose a partner who is older than themselves, as he seems to be a more reliable gentleman. Such a man will be able to protect and give love that will border on fatherly. Every girl dreams of always remaining a little princess for her chosen one. To get such a relationship, the easiest way is to choose a more experienced boyfriend.
If the age difference is 8 years, the man is older and more experienced. He has already walked around and set his life priorities. He is ready to become a reliable wall for his soulmate and, if necessary, will do everything to ensure that no one offends her.
You can talk to them
0
Source:
You can chat with young girls about this and that, but you can only talk with a woman who has seen a lot in her life. Listening to a young girl chatter about her interests and impressions may well be interesting, but a conversation with a mature lady turns out to be deeper and more intellectual - due to her life experience.
×
They don't play riddles with you
0
Source:
Young girls often tend to expect men to guess their slightest desires and literally read their thoughts. It’s as if men have a microchip built into their brains from birth, responsible for ideal relationships! Older women are not like that: they know what they want, know how to voice it in time, and tend to build relationships based on the principle of reciprocity.
From twenty years old
In past centuries, such marriages were common. Young girls were married off to older men in order to “place” them in reliable hands and even improve the financial situation of her family. Then the situation changed dramatically, and everyone around them began to condemn such unions. Today we also see many examples where girls marry mature men. The first thing that comes to mind is that this is a marriage of convenience.
In the same way, girls are trying to improve their financial situation at the expense of an elderly partner. However, this is not always what motivates people.
Video of a disappearing lake in Oregon captivates from the first minutes of viewing
Doctors who “treat” directly from screens: what they do in real life
Documents created during the Second World War can be classified as book monuments
There are many examples of how happy and harmonious these unions become (for example, celebrity couples Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhardt, Bruce Willis and Emma Heming, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Alec and Hilaria Baldwin).
People live together to a ripe old age and do not regret that they once made such a decision.
