It's not about you: 20 phrases on how to politely refuse a man without offending him

Incredible facts

Refusing someone can be difficult and awkward. You don’t want to break his heart with careless words, and at the same time, you don’t want to give him vain hopes.

You've been on one or more dates and realized that you're not too interested in going on more dates. How to explain this to a guy or man politely, without cutting off the connection completely and without offending him?

In matters of the heart, it is important to be honest, but also try to be tactful.

Fortunately, there are several beautiful ways to gracefully refuse a guy.

You can use ready-made phrases or change them at your discretion, and also listen to a few psychological tips.

How to politely blow off a stranger on the street

If a stranger pesters you, you can refuse him in various ways - from polite phrases to a sharp refusal.

Common Phrases

You can refuse a polite young man with simple, soft phrases:

• I have a young man, and he will not like our communication.
• I'm not interested in dating. Let me pass.
• I'm married.

The last phrase should be used if you have a wedding ring or its imitation on your finger.

If the guy turns out to be persistent and continues to impose his company, you should use drier and stricter phrases:

• Sorry, but your company is unpleasant to me.
• I made it clear enough that I did not want to meet.
• Let me pass, otherwise I'll call the police.

Even with a sharp refusal, you need to behave civilly, without shouting or being rude. At the same time, you need to speak dryly and seriously, without using humorous notes in your voice.

Methods of manipulation

To reject a guy, you don’t have to engage in a frank dialogue with him. To do this, you can use some manipulation methods:

• Don't carry on a conversation . Pretend that the interlocutor’s speech does not cause any interest. If he asks questions, it is enough to answer in monosyllables, without going into details. When there is an awkward silence, the guy will most likely wish him a good day and back off.
• Take help from a friend . If your girlfriend doesn’t like the guy, you need to make him feel like a third wheel. To do this, you should talk about your own topics, go to the toilet together and pay a minimum of attention to the fan. Realizing that there is no chance for him, he himself will fall behind.
• Family man . If a man shows unwanted attention, he should unobtrusively talk about his family (real/fictional) or a loved one who should “come pick me up” soon.
• Wrong data . If you don’t want to offend or ignore a person, you can tell him a fake name, age, etc. If he asks for a phone number, you can leave it, but “accidentally” make a mistake. It’s better to write down the number yourself, promising to call him back later.

How to properly refuse a guy and not hurt his feelings, learn from the video below:

Funny

If you want to blow a guy off with humor, use the following techniques:

1. Want to get married

This is a risky method, but it works 90% of the time. Tell the guy directly that it’s time to go to the registry office and have more children. You will live as a large family, with your grandmother, mother, father, sisters and brothers in a 2-room apartment. The future husband is obliged to do everything around the house, tenderly kiss his mother-in-law in the mornings and evenings, and take care of his sick grandfather. If the picture turns out bright, the lover will disappear forever.

1. Hysterical

Throw hysterics, make a scandal for no reason, speak rudely to him, track his appearances online on VK, write nasty things to his friends. A difficult character will be the reason for a sad SMS from a guy saying that you cannot continue communication.

1. I have a lot of problems, let's solve them

“I need money, a lot of it now, I’ll come to your city, but I won’t be able to work - I’m lazy, at the same time I’ll take my mom and dad, they’re retired anyway. We’re leaving tomorrow, will you meet me?” Most guys respond to such SMS by blocking the girl’s account or completely ignoring her. If he almost agrees, but delays the moment of help, you need to write this: “I need a real man, not a rag. Goodbye!".

1. I'm pregnant from my ex, now you'll be our dad

Joyfully write a huge text that you met him on time, together you will overcome all difficulties with your baby. Surely the correspondence will end there.

Important! When sending a guy to four directions in a joking manner, do not use ambiguous hints. Delete phrases similar to flirting and emoticons from messages.

How to correctly refuse a friend or acquaintance who has fallen in love

The guy needs to make it clear that a romantic relationship between you is impossible. To maintain friendly communication at the same time, you should use the following strategies.

Make him believe you're not right for him

The guy needs to be convinced that you are completely unsuitable for each other. The following recommendations will help with this:

• remember what things irritate him and constantly do them in front of him;
• write a list of the fan’s interests and, during conversations, provide critical feedback on each item written down;
• without ceasing to convince him that nothing will work out for you.

Find him another girl

A difficult method, but if successful, it will allow you to maintain the same relationship with your friend. To find a replacement, you need to understand what exactly attracts a guy to women. Having dealt with this, all that remains is to find a lonely girl of the right type in the circle of relatives and friends and arrange their “casual” meeting.

If you managed to match friends, in the future you don’t need to constantly get involved in other people’s relationships, so as not to become the “culprit” of an unsuccessful romance.

Confess your love for someone else

A good friend will not be able to lie about a non-existent boyfriend or husband and children, but he can confess his love for another. For him to believe this, he should:

• show him photos of your lover on your phone;
• often talk about your “beloved” and plans to win his heart;
• Spend more time with your lover in front of your unwanted suitor.

This strategy will be more successful if you find a man to play the role of a lover who agrees to play along a little and explain to the “competitor” that he has no chance.

Making excuses for lack of time

You can politely ignore the guy, citing a lack of time due to school or other matters. If he offers to go for a walk once, you need to clearly refuse and explain that there is no time for dates. Needless to say, we can go to the cinema someday. This way he will get false hope and will wait for an answer.

If the guy understands your strategy and triples the showdown with the phrases “Why are you lying to me! I know that you don’t have time just for me!”, there is only one option left - to send him straight away.

Confidential conversation

Having decided not to play around and honestly admit to a guy that you have no romantic feelings towards him, you should use the following tips:

1. Get alone . For a heart-to-heart conversation, you need to choose a convenient place with a minimum number of strangers and especially mutual friends. You can invite a guy for a walk or drink coffee in a calm coffee shop.
2. Be specific but polite . You need to speak seriously and confidently, so as not to create the impression of flirtation or frivolity. There may be notes of sadness and warmth in the voice so as not to offend the guy.
3. Make a compliment . You can start the conversation with a little praise. You shouldn’t praise him as a man, but just give a couple of compliments that he’s a good friend and fun to talk to.
4. Get to the point of the conversation . The most important part of the meeting, for which you need to prepare the correct wording. The refusal should be clear, but not offensive and not hurt male pride. What phrases you can use to turn a friend away, and which ones you can’t, are given in the table:

Strategy and tactics

A delicate breakup requires careful consideration of strategy and tactics. To resolve the issue peacefully, you can try introducing the man to your girlfriend. If he likes her, he won't have to explain anything. When this maneuver does not work, it is worth talking and gently explaining that the relationship did not work out. If none of the approaches have worked and the guy still insists on dating, you can start using the following methods.

I'm not worthy of you

To turn a guy off without offending him, you can flatter him in a conversation by saying something like this: “You are smart, kind (handsome, strong). I can't be the right friend for you. You will still meet a girl worthy of you.”

No vacancies

If your ex-boyfriend persistently seeks a meeting, you need to let him know that the girl has enough men to communicate with. You can draw up and show him a schedule of meetings or tell him verbally: “Sorry, but I have absolutely no time until Monday. Today I’m going to an exhibition with Arthur, tomorrow Zhenya and I are meeting at a club, on Sunday I’m going out of town with Anton.” Young people do not like to stand in line of admirers, so he will most likely stop seeking a meeting. This way you can gently blow off a guy in love without worrying about his reaction.

If a former fan returns

The return of your ex-boyfriend can be very inopportune. Even if a girl was once crazy about him, after a while her personal life gets better, so she no longer needs the returning man. How to politely turn a guy off in this case:

1. Say hello.
2. Tell him that she is not interested in his proposal
3. Say goodbye.
4. Leave without looking back.

In this case, the girl should not look at her ex, especially in his eyes. You also cannot show interest in him and his affairs. The slightest spark of interest - and the admirer will decide that not all is lost. Then other measures will have to be taken.

If a friend suddenly turns out to be

There are times when a young man, whom a girl regards only as a friend, suddenly begins to show love. He invites his girlfriend to parties, gives her gifts, and looks after her. In this case, you should delicately remind the guy that he is just a friend: “Semyon, what are you doing? We're just friends. Sorry, but I never thought you looked at me differently."

Most likely, in this case, the friendship will have to end. Few men are able to be content with simply communicating with the girl they like.

How to get rid of an annoying boyfriend

If a guy doesn’t give way and doesn’t understand a polite refusal, he can be kicked off in harsher ways.

Complete ignoring

This strategy requires compliance with two rules:

• clearly say “no” once under any pretext (not ready for a relationship, I love someone else, I’m in a hurry to meet, etc.);
• imagine complete loneliness - reading, listening to music, talking on the phone or doing other things, not paying any attention to the guy and not reacting to his words.

Ignoring an annoying boyfriend, you should not look him in the face, answer his questions or make any contact.

Scandal girl

This principle is the opposite of the ignoring strategy and involves complete concentration on the stick. You need to constantly demand something from him, throw tantrums and be jealous.

In order to deliberately quarrel, you can come to the meeting earlier and create a scandal due to his lateness. If a fan forgot flowers, you should directly reproach him or say that “queens are not greeted like that.” Afterwards you have to be indignant at everything that happens - bad coffee, bad restaurant, boring movie, etc.

Having secured the image of a demanding brawler, you can be sure that the guy himself will refuse such a relationship.

Materialist

If a guy doesn't show generosity, the best way to turn him off is to become a materialist for him. The following recommendations will help with this:

• order the most expensive dishes in restaurants;
• hint at the need for urgent repairs in the apartment;
• talk about the illness of a grandmother who needs expensive care;
• complain about a small salary and hint at looking for a rich suitor;
• make plans for an expensive wedding and honeymoon in the Maldives;
• talk about a husband who must buy a beauty salon and finance plastic surgery to correct his appearance.

Girlfriend "911"

You need to ask your girlfriend to start actively writing love messages during the date. Another trick is to register her contact in the phone in advance under a man’s name, next to which put a heart.

From the constant messages and your satisfied expression on your face while answering them, the guy himself will understand that nothing will happen to him. If he begins to express dissatisfaction, he can only confess his love for another.

Cramming

Before a date, you need to carefully study your boyfriend’s pages on social networks to find out his political views, preferences in music, cinema, etc. When you come to a meeting, you need to constantly interrupt him and say things that do not coincide with his position, and end each sentence with a quote from Internet.

If the guy is not an intellectual, you should also show maximum pedantry and hang on to his every word, correcting his mistakes. To completely ruin the evening, you can periodically repeat “But my ex said..., and he was absolutely right.”

Even the most persistent boyfriend will not tolerate stupidity and constant comparison with his ex.

Dirty

To turn a guy away from you, you need to show up on a date with a chipped manicure, dirty clothes and a slight smell of sweat. If the meeting takes place in a cafe, you can sip and drink, making different sounds.

To finally “finish off” him, all that remains is to speak out for support of everything natural and against cosmetic procedures such as depilation of armpits, legs and more.

Beautiful

There are many options for how to “blow” a guy so that he doesn’t get offended and do it beautifully, and most of them help to maintain a warm future relationship if both are interested in it. Honesty must come first, so at the first signs of attention you need to inform the man that this format of communication does not suit you or that you are busy. It’s better to always be proactive and say a text like this when a guy is just trying to walk you home or has started calling more often for unimportant reasons. It can be quite difficult to explain your refusal to a person who has been caring for a girl for a month and is currently standing under her house with flowers, because there is a complete misunderstanding of why all the actions were taken before.

If you conduct the conversation in a calm atmosphere, then an adequate young man will understand and accept your position

The main thing is not to lie, if you don’t have a husband or boyfriend, then you don’t need to refer to the fact that you are busy, it’s better to say that you are not ready for a romantic relationship right now, and it is important to note something good in the youngest person . Don’t tie the person down, express your understanding of the situation if he stops communicating with you completely, because it’s not easy to be friends with someone you like

If your ex-boyfriend returns and he takes active steps towards your return, it is useless to meet with him to explain your own disinterest. It is better to limit yourself to a telephone conversation or message, the meaning of which boils down to gratitude for participating in your destiny, as well as for the fact that your relationship is over.

With all guys, if you want to part with grace, you need to speak politely and pay attention to their dignity

It is important to control emotions, speak confidently, politely, without coquetry (no matter how it breaks through, since attention is pleasant). Show kindness and understanding - a person has the right to know why his advances are not relevant to you, perhaps he can change something or turn his attention to a more suitable girl

You can move on to radical and harsh words only after intelligent communication and respectful treatment have not brought results, and you again observe an obsessive admirer who has not drawn any conclusions

Show kindness and understanding - a person has the right to know why his advances are not relevant to you, perhaps he can change something or turn his attention to a more suitable girl. You can move on to radical and harsh words only after intelligent communication and respectful treatment have not brought results, and you are again observing an obsessive admirer who has not drawn any conclusions.

Sometimes you can get by completely without words, this works especially well in relation to unfamiliar guys or harassment on the street. You can silently ignore any attempts at contact or look in his direction with a seriously judgmental look - the conversation, as well as the duration of communication with such girls, are of little interest to guys at the initial stages. The main thing is not to confuse this with ostentatious indifference, which is part of flirting, which only fuels interest. If the young man is adequate enough, then you can smile, as if apologizing, which will make him understand the impossibility of continuing, but at the same time leave a pleasant aftertaste (in this case, he will come up with a reason why not on his own).

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DmyDl5QmJTk

How to send a guy off via text or text

Refusal via the Internet may offend a man, but it will save time and nerves. To do everything right, you should use one of these strategies:

• Long refusal . You need to pretend to be a busy person, without answering him for a long time (a lot of work, family, various incidents in life). Over time, the guy gets tired of this, and he stops pestering. If he understands that these are excuses, all that remains is to have a confidential conversation with him.
• Quick refusal . While maintaining civility and politeness of communication, you need to quickly and clearly refuse the guy by writing a short message with the following text: I am not in the mood for meetings and relationships. Sorry.
• I already have a boyfriend, and I don’t want to continue our communication.
• I figured myself out and realized that I didn’t need a relationship.
• You are a very good guy and will soon find your soulmate. I'm not interested in a relationship, sorry.

If after refusing via SMS the guy continues to bother you, all you have to do is block his number and completely ignore him in life.

Beautiful

Dumping a guy with one phrase or SMS is very easy. But you need to consider a few points:

• The answer for a delicate refusal must contain words of apology and a guilty tone. The guy will not be so offended to receive it if the girl also experiences discomfort.
• Formulate your thoughts correctly. Tactfully but clearly refuse communication without giving hope.

To formulate a message to a polite boy, it is correct to use the following formula:

For example: You are very good, kind, but I’m busy, I have a boyfriend. We don't need to communicate anymore, sorry!

A normal, smart guy can be offered friendship after being rejected in a relationship. But before that, be sure to make sure that he is adequate and that he is not in love.

Phrases

You can cool the ardor of an persistent suitor with the help of delicate or rude expressions of hostility. Choose the tone and content of the message based on the guy’s behavior:

1. You're so cool, but we're not on the same path, sorry!
2. It’s difficult for me, but I have to say goodbye, don’t be offended.
3. My tastes have changed, we will have to stop communicating without starting it. It's a pity.
4. It was great to correspond with you. You are smart, well-mannered. But I returned to my ex, sorry.
5. Today I realized that I don’t deserve a person like you. Goodbye.
6. A monkey and a doe cannot be a couple! Sorry, go eat some bananas.
7. My mother often told me how to beat a guy off beautifully and politely. But after talking with you, I decided to forget her advice. Go...and don't come back!

SMS

You can send a guy in an original way in verse and in a banal way in prose:

• You are acting too cocky, but you are not the macho man of my novel! Good luck, don't forget to delete my number!
• I don’t want to offend you, but I’m no longer in this dialogue. Happy Stay!
• Young man, I repeat once again, your stop. To the exit!!!
• Let's do this, I'll go to my place, and you to yours. We don't stop anymore.
• I don’t understand how you could be married, and even 2 more times! You're definitely not my option! Pah-pah!!!
• I will open my eyes, not to myself, but to you! Move on, I will never give it to you!
• They refused you twice, but they didn’t understand at all. Either I wrote it wrong, or you are a complete fool.

On a note! There are many methods of how to beat a guy beautifully, without rudeness or mutual claims. When choosing the right one, analyze the fan’s behavior, his character and temperament. For rude guys, harsh methods are suitable, for supposedly modest ones - delicate ones.

How to properly send off your ex

If your ex has returned and wants to renew the relationship, you should not give in to emotions and start a scandal. It is important to keep your cool and express your refusal without airing your dirty laundry. This can be done in two ways:

• Via SMS . If you still have feelings for a guy, it’s better not to date him, but to write a short message with a similar text: Sorry, but this relationship is no longer interesting to me. Please don't bother me anymore, otherwise I will block your contact.
• Do not write me anymore. I have a boyfriend and we love each other.

Types of girls and the right way to escape

To answer the question of how to properly send a girl off, you need to understand who exactly the man is dealing with.
There are three types of women: smart; not very smart; stupid.

Smart people prefer to be told right away what the chances are. After all, as Hank Moody said: “A woman knows in the first five minutes after meeting her what she wants from a man.” Believe me, it’s the same story with a man. In this case, you can use “moderate severity” methods; on the contrary, they will be the most accurate and easiest, no one will suffer more than usual.

And if you have met couples who were at first friends, then became lovers, then the point is not at all that their feelings matured for a long time, but that, as La Rochefoucauld said: “One loves, and the other allows himself to be loved.” This kind of relationship is similar to a game of poker; its main principle is who will change their mind and overpower whom. Or maybe it’s simpler: these people just searched and searched and didn’t find anyone, but their friend was always nearby. Typically, these are very strong relationships.

It's more difficult with stupid people. Mild to medium methods are applicable to them. Although the degree of stupidity varies, so one cannot renounce the “heavy artillery.” But we will believe in the best.

But there are girls who are either very thirsty for love, and this desire obscures their eyes, or they sorely lack the intellectual capacity to understand that a man is not the hero of their novel. With them, any means are good, otherwise you can pay for your pity all your life. History knows cases.

How to gently tell the guy you're dating off

To turn your boyfriend off, you will have to have a serious conversation with him and choose the appropriate wording. Here are the options:

• My tastes and needs are constantly changing, but I see that you do not change, you stand in one place. Therefore, we will not be able to develop together as a couple, and we need to separate.
• Let's take a time out and sort out our feelings. Now it’s difficult for me to understand what I want and whether I’m ready to continue maintaining this relationship.
• I am grateful to you for all our wonderful moments and remember only the good things. But now I no longer feel the same way as before, and it’s better for us to leave. Please leave gracefully and live happily.
• My “rose-colored glasses” have fallen off, and I can no longer and do not want to ignore the obvious shortcomings. I've made my final decision and you won't change it. I'm leaving you and I'm no longer interested in communicating with you. Goodbye.

When breaking up with a guy, you don't need to feel guilty or show pity. You need to speak with confidence and calmness in your voice.

“Love is a golden staircase without railings”

Of course, you want to be a kind and gentle person, and it is also desirable that everything is clear the first time. But life is not a fairy tale, it hurts. Love, like life, is diverse. Everyone can interpret the well-known phrase in the title in their own way, but one wisdom that is contained in it is important: feelings are not something that is guaranteed, and you can fall down this ladder at any moment. Therefore, there is no point in asking yourself: “How to leave a girl who loves you?” Parting is part of the lesson that existence teaches us. Imagine a person who doesn't know how to let go. In addition to pain, separation contains the most valuable experience.

Common mistakes when refusing a guy

Psychologists note that when refusing a guy, girls make a number of classic mistakes:

• Lack of specifics . To maintain a warm relationship, girls speak politely and sympathetically, but the guy takes these as abstract hints and continues to court.
• Controversial behavior . You can’t blow a guy off and then 5 minutes later wink and smile at him. This makes him understand that the refusal is just a farce.
• Pulling back the moment . Phrases such as “I don’t have time right now” temporarily relieve unnecessary attention, but only complicate a serious conversation that hangs like a gray cloud.
• Rudeness and insults . If the boyfriend does not understand politeness, you can become harsh, but this will only worsen the relationship, which will be impossible to improve during further interaction, for example, at work.

There are many ways to refuse a guy. Having chosen the appropriate option, you need to prepare well and follow your plan. If a guy doesn’t understand well, all he can do is take the help of a friend or even a policeman.

What does "hard" mean?

When people hear the words “tough, opinionated person,” their thoughts usually immediately conjure up images of a rude, ruthless person. Of course, a tough person can be like that, but this is not at all necessary.

Toughness can also be expressed in the ability to be firm, make important decisions, be persistent and not lose composure in critical situations.

Such people can also sometimes be soft, but only in circumstances that do not require firmness. They always know exactly where they can afford to be soft, and strictly control this process.

So, these are often characterized by the following features:

• the ability to abstract from emotions and quickly navigate a difficult situation;
• the ability to concentrate only on significant and useful things, to think rationally;
• the ability to defend one’s point of view, to protect oneself, relatives and friends;
• the ability to quickly put a person in his place in disputes or quarrels;
• willingness to take responsibility;
• composure, endurance, willpower, lack of sentimentality.

Rigidity, as a rule, is formed as a result of frequent exposure to difficult life situations and a stubborn struggle to get out of them. Such circumstances train a person’s psychological immunity, develop the ability to cope with difficulties, withstand psychological discomfort, and show perseverance.

Hardness is very useful in the following cases:

conflict situations at work; various situations of stress, high level of psychological stress; incidents in which it is important to turn off emotions, quickly find your bearings and make a decision; situations of disputes and disagreements where it is important to defend your point of view.

Hard options

No matter how the relationship develops, it is worth trying to part ways peacefully. The use of harsh methods can come back to haunt you in the future, because different situations are possible in life. Many years later, the girl may need the help of a young man and then she may have to regret the past. If a guy stubbornly refuses to part with the lady of his heart, he should take tough measures. Those who don’t know how to properly turn off an annoying guy should try the following methods:

1. Make fun of him in front of his friends.
2. Tell strangers some intimate information about him.
3. Ask friends for help.
4. Start dating someone else.
5. Threaten to report to the police.

Making fun of an annoying admirer gives a good result. You can make a guy laugh gently, then the relationship will remain at the level of friendship. If you make fun of him harshly, even to the point of organizing bullying (if possible), then you should forget about possible communication.

READ How to tactfully inform a girl about an upcoming breakup

By telling something personal about a young man, you can quickly get rid of his feelings and acquire an enemy. To do this, it is enough to tell the world about such things as his virility or behavior after taking large doses of alcohol. His memories can also be included here, because men are very sensitive to stories about childhood problems.

The young man's conversation with other guys works very harshly. As a rule, a girl’s friends have a conversation on the topic: “Why are you following her? Don't you see she doesn't need you? Leave me alone, I say, otherwise I’ll deal with you myself.” After such conversations, a man offended to the core stops all attempts to create a relationship.

There are very few men who are ready to accept a girl after a relationship with another boy. As a rule, having met a friend once with a new boyfriend, guys completely lose interest in her.

The threat of going to the police will allow the man to be sent away forever. Even betrayal is not perceived so painfully by guys.

The use of such methods is highly undesirable and can only be used if all other methods have failed.