What to do if your child steals: advice from a social worker

The roots of all problems are in the family

The main problem that almost all parents face: when children grow up, they want to somehow distinguish themselves, to show themselves in society. How the child will do this, whether these attempts will involve cruelty or criminal acts, depends on the family. The biggest problems arise where parents devote little time and attention to their children. Mom and dad can be wealthy, earn good money and buy a lot of things for the child, take them to tutors, take them on vacation, provide a lot of modern gadgets, but do nothing in terms of education. This is a big problem, because everything listed should be in the second, or even tenth, plane. The first place in the life of every child should be the availability of parents with whom they can communicate and discuss their problems.

Parenting is not asking once a day: “How are you, how is school?” - it is involvement in the lives of children, it is when mom and dad are interested in all aspects of their lives. If this does not happen, then the child gets the feeling that he is not important in the world around him. From here he has a desire to become first in it in any way.

If a teenager does something bad, it is very important to find out what is going on in his family. If he sees that his father offends his mother, says insulting words to her, and the mother does not remain in debt and responds in kind, then what is surprising if he also shows cruelty and disrespect for adults! If dad comes home from work and tells how clever he is - he managed to carry a bag of nails past the master Uncle Vasya unnoticed - then the child will see this and understand that stealing is possible, moreover, it’s good, it’s necessary. The fact is that for every child, his parents are an example of how to live and act. Until children have learned to value the opinions of their friends (which necessarily happens in adolescence), the family is the main authority for them, which they will definitely rely on. If a child is prone to stealing, then first of all you need to pay attention to the family and figure out why he did this.

Don't leave money in plain sight

Elena (38 years old): “I remember how, at the age of 7, I stole money from my mother for the first time. “Soyuzpechat” sold “overflow” calendars for 40 kopecks. I really wanted one like this. I would never dare to get into my mother's wallet. I remember walking around the apartment and collecting small change on the shelves, in pockets, and bags. I didn't think I was stealing. There was a very clear feeling that I was taking unnecessary money. The “necessary” ones, as it seemed to me then, were in my wallet. But I also understood that I was not doing well.”

So, here is the first parental mistake: do not leave money in sight, do not provoke the child.

Why do children who have everything steal?

Thefts are often committed by children from wealthy families who do not need anything. Why is this happening? The child wants to take a special place in the hierarchy of life, wants to stand out from the crowd, to show that he is significant, that he can be a leader. If the theft is a success and the thief is not found, the child feels powerful, “cool” - he has deceived everyone, he is smarter than everyone.

We must also take into account that our criminal world is now very romanticized in popular culture. Although, if you look at the past, you can also find an attitude towards crimes as something valiant. Let's remember the same Robin Hood - he is an ordinary robber, for whom it is normal to come and take away someone else's property. It’s convenient to give it away later and be known as generous! But he didn’t earn all this with sweat and blood, didn’t put in any work - so what right did he have to dispose of?

What can we say about modern culture, where lawbreakers very often become heroes! The child does not yet have a critical eye; he believes what he is told and believes that good at the cost of crime is normal. Moreover, a teenager who needs to find an excuse for his ugly actions, explain to himself and those around him that he is not bad, not a criminal, but a hero. In the criminal world in general there is such a feature: to romanticize what essentially should not be romanticized.

"Four Ages" of Child Theft

1. Unconscious (0-3 years) Example: little Vanechka sees an interesting trinket. He likes it, and the child puts the thing in his pocket so that he can give it to one of the parents for his birthday.
2. Children's (4-11 years old)
   Example: Tanya brings to school a pen with many different colors. Her parents bought it as a gift for her diligent studies. Svetochka doesn’t have one, so she takes the pen for herself and shifts the blame to their third friend.
3. Young teenagers (12-17 years old)
   Example: Dasha’s “advanced” friends steal Kinders from the supermarket and invite her to join. Well, how can you refuse?
4. Real conscious theft (teenagers and 18+)
   There are a million examples, but the most important thing is that it is criminally punishable.

Of course, stealing as a child may seem like a small thing. But if you miss this moment in childhood, it will be more difficult to cope with the problem later! Stealing is a very personal and shameful offense. But how many people stole everything! Everyone, probably at least once, would like to appropriate something that belongs to them, and most likely they have even done it. Parents, remember your childhood - did it ever happen that you or one of your friends stole? What came of it? How did you feel about this? Your child is unlikely to tell you about this, and parents are often uncomfortable raising such a topic in conversation with their child.

Parents, remember your childhood - did it ever happen that you or one of your friends stole? What came of it? How did you feel about this? Your child is unlikely to tell you about this, and parents are often uncomfortable raising such a topic in conversation with their child.

Stealing is like a drug

Faced with the romanticization of criminals in popular culture, the teenager believes that there is nothing wrong with easily achieving his goals. If you can’t get an iPhone honestly, that means you can take it from someone else. If for the first time everything works out and he gets away with theft, he begins to feel euphoric and feels permissive.

Nowadays there are many people who, in order to tickle their nerves and feel a surge of adrenaline, jump with a parachute, climb steep cliffs, and engage in extreme sports. Theft is akin to all of this. Gradually it becomes a kind of addiction, a disease. A professional thief can be a very wealthy person who has no need to steal, but he still goes and steals - not because he needs money, but to feel the danger, to tickle his nerves. It's like a drug for him, he can't live without it. A child, if not stopped in time, may also become dependent. On the one hand, he asserts himself, shows how cool he is, on the other hand, he feels euphoria from the surge of adrenaline he experienced. This is why it is so dangerous if a child steals with impunity. In such situations, all the bells must be rung, because the person disappears.

Find the reason for the theft

First of all, try to find out the reason that prompted the child to steal. The tactics of influence must be chosen depending on this reason.

And most importantly, be afraid to make mistakes! Even if you are 100% sure that it was your child who stole, simply because there is no one else, remember: if you are not caught, you are not a thief. If you did not witness the theft, never make unfounded accusations. Always give your child the opportunity to confess himself. Help him start talking about this topic, try to prevent the child from experiencing fear of punishment. And especially fear of you!

Germanova Elena consultant: Tabunova Lyubov, psychologist Article provided by the site “Mommies - a site for parents”

A teenager steals: what to do?

If you discover that a teenager is stealing, the first thing you need to do is contact his family. Parents may not even suspect that such a disaster has happened near them. Previously, people around were not so indifferent to other people's children. Parents did not protect the personal boundaries of their children as zealously as they do now, and each neighbor could punish for an offense in the same way as the parents. Nowadays no one wants to get involved with other people’s children, because you might not only not receive support from your parents, but, on the contrary, you might end up in a very unpleasant conflict. Parents, shielding and protecting their children in every possible way, often simply destroy them, because crimes go unpunished, which leads to the exacerbation of the child’s criminal inclinations.

If parents do not react, you need to contact law enforcement agencies, because if a teenager grows up to be a professional thief, nothing good will come of it. What if these thefts lead to him having to defend himself and he injures another person? This is a different article, a different punishment, after which the fate of a teenager can follow a very sad scenario.

Golden mean

When it comes to your child and material goods, try to find a middle ground. Understand that things like clothing and technology are very important to a teenager because they act as a way of demonstrating both individuality and membership in a particular group that is important to him. Don't give your teen everything he asks for, as this can make him feel entitled and lack respect for the property of others. Instead, allow your teen to earn the material goods of their choice through long periods of good behavior, or you can help them find a way to earn money on their own.

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React and find out the reasons

What should Christian parents do if they are faced with the fact that their growing child is stealing? First of all, under no circumstances turn a blind eye to what happened and find out why it happened. In general, I would recommend that you definitely respond to child theft, no matter what age it happens. Even if a child simply took a toy without asking in kindergarten, you need to talk to him and explain that they don’t do that. We need to have conversations with children before they do something bad.

Second: we need to find the reason why the teenager steals. After all, children now see from their peers a lot of things that, for some reason, are inaccessible to them. Therefore, it is important not to lead children to theft. There is no need to demand that your Orthodox children humble themselves and wear something worse. There is no need to dress girls in skirts that reach to their toes, and dress boys in black and old-fashioned trousers. The child should not feel inferior. If theft was a reaction to this, then parents need to pay attention to his clothes and belongings.

Perhaps the child lacks attention in his company, he wants to impress or take the place of a cool guy. Often, such a desire also has roots in the family: he lacked praise there, a sense of self-worth - so he began to look for them outside his home, in the circle of friends.

The child may not understand the significance of what he has and may not realize the value of money. I recently had a case: a boy stole money from his parents. It turned out he needed pocket money. My parents came to me with this problem, and I offered to let him earn money at my temple. We have a construction project going on, and we came up with a job for him to do - move the bricks. The boy worked for a long time, was very tired, and at the end of the job he received his first salary from me. We talked, and since then the problem went away: he realized that money is not given for nothing, that making real money is not at all like receiving money from your parents.

Attention from others for money

Monitor your baby's social life so you don't miss any warning signs. Children often take money and things from home, buying the attention of those around them.

9-year-old Dasha could not make friends with anyone. This is a very common situation when an outcast is “selected” from a group of children with whom no one communicates. Children's desire for self-affirmation and attempts to rise above others can manifest themselves at a very early age. This cannot be called cruelty. This behavior is only one of the stages in the formation of one’s own “I”. So, no one was friends with Dasha, her parents were busy, the girl complained to her grandmother that there was no one to play with, to which the elderly woman reasonably remarked that “she doesn’t go to school to play, but to study.” And as a result, the child solved his problem himself: first, the girl stole an unknown amount from home (this became clear much later, when it came to the trial) and bought candy.

Saying it was her birthday, she treated the children all day and was the center of attention until the candy ran out. The next time she took her father's mobile phone, telling the class that it was given to her. The parents, having decided to carry out educational work, staged a public hearing in the class, as a result of which the girl received severe stress, which subsequently could not be cured for a long time, and the child had to be transferred to another school, since she flatly refused to go to that class. Among other things, due to the child’s nervousness, this also resulted in skin rashes.

Pocket money and the opportunity to earn money

Children, especially teenagers, should have pocket money. It is important for them to be able to buy something, treat friends - this is the custom among them. Not everyone can ask their parents for them; many are simply embarrassed. Lack of pocket money can encourage theft. How to avoid this? Either give the child a small amount, or figure out how he can earn this money. At all times, those who wanted to find a job found one. My family lived modestly, and I started working as a loader at the market to have my own money. Now there is an opportunity to earn money using the Internet.

Parents can also help you find a part-time job. An acquaintance of mine entrusted his daughter, for a fee, with sending out job advertisements on the Internet to a large circle of people. She did this with pleasure, and in the end she helped her father and earned money. This practice seems very true to me: the child gets used to the idea that before he gets something, he has to work hard. If a teenager receives money from his parents just like that, it will seem to him that it is worth nothing - and this attitude will develop not only in relation to his own money, but also in relation to other people’s.

Don't make it public

So, another mistake: never make such incidents public. The child's psyche is too fragile for such tests. Even for an adult it is difficult to survive public shame. Previously, there was even a punishment when the criminal was chained to the “pillory.” Don't do this to your child. All issues should be resolved not by force (and certainly not by physical!) methods in a narrow family circle. Remember, if a child steals, then most likely this has nothing to do with the “bad genes” of his ancestors; most likely, this is evidence that there are problems in your family.

Either this is due to a lack of warmth and understanding on the part of the parents, or you have missed something in the child’s social life. The case of 6-year-old Ivan is noteworthy. The boy regularly stole money from his mother and hid it under the mattress. Mom, remaking the bed, found them every time and everything was repeated again: he stole, mom found. At the reception it turned out that the family was single-parent, there was no father, the mother was at work from morning to evening, the child was with a nanny. When he hid the money, he knew that his mother would find out and scold him. The child explained the situation like this: but my mother sits on my bed, talks, and then kisses me good night. “Talks” is trying to explain why stealing is not good. From further conversation it became clear that the child does not hear these explanations, he is simply provoking his mother to communicate with him.

Provide employment

Crimes are often committed by teenagers who have a lot of free time. Previously, we were all busy all day: school, extra classes or training, then we still had to do homework. Now everything is paid, parents do not always have the opportunity to place their children somewhere, but this needs to be done. Even if teenagers do not go to sections or clubs, we need to provide them with something to do during the day. This could be some kind of household chores, helping neighbors or acquaintances. The main thing is to prevent idleness and teach the child to work. Without this it is difficult to raise a true Christian. After all, a real Christian is not one who lies on the couch all day and says: “Lord, have mercy and give me something to eat!”, but one who works hard all day. What was Adam called to do? - to cultivate and maintain the Garden of Eden. Our task now is to cultivate what surrounds us.

If you catch a child lying, don’t start a scandal

The ability to lie appears in a child simultaneously with the ability to speak correctly and coherently, by the age of 3–4 years. It should be remembered that at this age the child’s lies are associated with testing the boundaries of what is permitted and learning about the world around him. In preschool and adolescence, children consciously resort to untruths if they want to stand out from their classmates, avoid ridicule from their peers, and escape deserved punishment. If a teenager is caught in a lie, the first thing to do is to remain calm. It is necessary to understand what reasons and circumstances motivated him, what fears and problems he experiences. Don’t rush into punishment; review your relationship with your offspring.

• A trusting relationship with a child is the key to success and the most effective way to correct the situation. Introducing the practice of conversations and active listening will help here.
• If a teenager does not want to share personal secrets, respect his choice and do not push. The time will come, he will appreciate it and, perhaps, share his secrets.
• Do not provoke lies with questions with known answers, for example: “Have you prepared your essay?”, “Have you finished your homework?” The teenager will begin to pretend that he has done almost everything, or there is still time for this, or he will simply lie. Replace such questions with phrases that begin with “I noticed...” and offer help. Say: “I noticed that you didn’t finish your essay. Can I help you?"
• Reduce your child's overprotectiveness. Total control can lead to hiding the real picture of life from parents in order to avoid proceedings and accusations from adults. Set rules for each action that all family members must follow. If a teenager, for example, is late and does not have time to return by a certain time, then set a rule - be sure to call home. No one will complete household duties if the child on whom they are assigned is lazy or does not find the time. Don't feel sorry for him, otherwise he will come up with a thousand reasons for refusing to work, knowing that he will be replaced. Knowing the strictness of the established rules, the offspring will not have to resort to lies, because this will not help. Naturally, this does not apply to cases of illness or illness.
• Low self-esteem in a child can also be a reason for lying. Explain that his parents' love for him is unconditional, regardless of his achievements and successes. And take steps to improve his self-esteem. Adolescence is better experienced if you have interests and hobbies.
• Don’t be a hypocrite yourself and don’t lie at home, try to set a personal example of truthfulness. Remember, the child copies the lifestyle of the parents. And if he has already witnessed a lie from your lips, then explain why in this case you are telling a lie.

Without changes in the family, experts will not help

If parents find out that their child is stealing in order to take a certain place in the teenage community, they can seek help from a psychologist. I don’t see anything wrong with this, because if a person has a toothache, he goes to the dentist, if his leg hurts, he goes to the traumatologist. Behavioral problems require professional help, this is normal. In more severe cases, you may need to see a psychotherapist.

I won’t say that you need to see a doctor right away. Sometimes parents need to start devoting more time to their child, and even if they missed it in some way, there is a chance to restore this connection. There is no need to scold and immediately grab the belt - this will not help build a trusting relationship. Many of our children are simply neglected due to parental busyness. Most dads and moms give them the opportunity to sit on gadgets as long as they want or go for walks with anyone, as long as they don’t disturb them, as long as they let them rest. This leads to a loss of communication between them. No matter how confidentially such parents talk to a teenager who has committed a crime, conversations will not change anything. It is necessary to change the forms of communication, often it is even necessary to change the place of residence - because if the child communicates in the same company that led him to the crime, there will be little sense in admonishing him. If nothing changes at all in the family, then even specialists will not help, no matter how good they are.

Plan

If your child steals from a store or another person, plan how you will return the item or pay for it. Make sure your child is involved in the process. In addition to the consequences that the other party outlines, add your own consequences that apply to theft (for example, doing housework for little pay until the child earns the value of the item he stole and then donates the money earned to charity) so that your the child understood how seriously you took this situation.

Correctional institutions do not correct

A child can now go to a juvenile colony from the age of fourteen. Criminals who have turned eighteen end up in a colony for adults. We need to tell children about what actions lead to such sad consequences. You can watch films with them - feature films and documentaries - that honestly talk about the zone, life behind bars, and the fate of prisoners. For example, I always liked the movie “The Boys” - I recommend watching it with your child. There is no need to intimidate, we need to discuss.

Unfortunately, not knowing the real state of things, imagining life in colonies from movies and TV series, teenagers tend to be mistaken about what awaits them there. They think they will be like some hero who ended up in prison due to a misunderstanding and gained authority there thanks to his special character traits. But prisons have their own laws, and so do juvenile colonies. There are their own authorities who demand strict obedience, who will achieve this obedience by any means, the most cruel, perverted and disgusting - those that I don’t even want to talk about. Yes, there will be very young criminals, almost children, but we must not forget that very often children are much more cruel than adults. They don’t yet know how to live, and therefore it seems to them that violence is the best and most effective way to achieve what they want.

Violence will surround a teenager in a colony day and night. He is unlikely to be able to come out of there as a normal person. Not a single human colony has corrected it. There they only break and maim. Our entire system is designed in such a way that correctional institutions do not correct people. If a person has an inner core, his own credo, which he does not agree to cross, then perhaps he has a chance. In the end, not everyone ends up in a colony because of intentional crimes; you can, for example, hit a person with a car and end up there.

If a person does not want to take the path of crime, he has a chance, but if he chose the path of a criminal, he will no longer return to the path of an honest person, because he has his own rules, his own honor, his own ways of establishing himself. If a teenager is attracted by all this romance, he will go further, to an adult prison, where he will be taught how to live “correctly” and how to earn money. Of course, this is a dead end path. If they say that there is nothing wrong with going to a colony, don’t believe it, it’s not true. It's very scary there. I remember our visit to the guys who, after the trial, were waiting for distribution to the colonies. I can’t forget the look of one guy who realized how scary the place he was in was. It was very difficult to see.

These glass eyes are familiar to many parents.

— Was all this a surprise to you? I often see the opinion: “We need to take care of the child, read books, take him on hikes, and then he will not be dependent on the computer.” Can you say that you did not take care of your son?

— We were engaged, we have good company. An enriched environment was created, the child had a cultural load. On the eve of these events, we rode bikes, bought barbecue, had a picnic in the forest, and chatted. There were all signs of normal contact. At the same time, he coped with the school curriculum easily, and there was time left. These two layers of reality completely coexisted with each other - there were alarming signals, and there were healthy signals.

For some reason I missed the warning signs. For example, I attributed a lot of things to adolescence, all these aggressive outbursts. Now I know that at 11 years old this shouldn’t happen.

“I was kicked out of school twice, but I played 16 hours a day.” Is it possible to quit video games once and for all?

Based on our son’s achievements, we even built a gaming computer. I thought maybe I didn’t understand something, maybe esports was my son’s future. Let then it be a complexly organized activity. I brought in a professional gamer to help with strategy and team. But at this time my son was no longer interested in the game so much as in gambling. He had already become addicted to gambling for money and was involved in more serious things.

— So you took the path not to ban, but to lead the revolution?

- Certainly. Children now dream about eSports. But this is a very difficult job. I wanted him to feel that these are real loads, goal setting, leadership qualities, this is a certain mode of attention.

There was still a signal. He had a simple computer in his room. It seems that we were making sure that he did not sit behind him. It turned out that he watched films there at night and corresponded. And then in the morning for some reason we could not wake up the child. At school, he started sleeping in class.

There must be a regime, because the organism is formed, complex neural structures, neural ensembles - all this greatly influences the formation of attention functions.

— You wrote that you began to communicate with the parents of other children. And they told you about gambling addiction. What exactly?

“For example, when an older brother says: “If you don’t let me play, I will beat my younger sister.” They told how children call names and swear: “You are the worst parents.” Constant outbursts of aggression. Lack of time control. The child wants nothing but games.

Sometimes they say: “Let him play and play enough.” He won't play enough. Dependence is insatiable - no matter how much you play, it’s not enough. Parents understand that they constantly return to talking about the phone, to scandals about the phone, to trying to limit, control.

Father and mother, by and large, have the right to gratitude from the child, to a “thank you,” to a good time. When no matter what you do, you are always at fault - this is not normal.

You try to do one thing, another, another, create an enriched environment, but the child doesn’t like anything. “I don’t like anything, give me the phone and that’s it,” this is already a sign of addiction. Problems arise with motivation, contact, and trust. Everything focuses around one theme.

Usually, if a child’s passion is creative, then discipline improves, he is more successful in other places, composure and maturity appear. And here is a detached face. These glassy eyes are familiar to many parents: “You can’t beat me, you don’t know anything about me, you don’t understand me.”

— Approximately how many children, according to your estimates, are now in this condition?

— According to my feelings, at least 60%.

— Do you know of any creative attempts by parents to combat this? For example, I know the story of a dad who secretly paid money to his son’s gamer friends to ruin his game. He eventually became uninterested and stopped playing.

- Yes, it was in China.

The mother of one girl, who was very interested in YouTube, suggested that her daughter not wash the dishes, but shoot a video of Masha washing the dishes. And the girl joined in: “Now I’ll tell my subscribers how we wash the dishes.” Quite a creative approach.

In general, they usually try to simply ban it. One boy sat on his phone and became interested in betting in bookmakers at the age of 12. Dad even got inspired: “It develops the intellect.” After a month of this activity, the son swore at his dad and threw a tantrum at him, he took the phone away and won’t give it to him anymore.

As parents, we are faced with a new phenomenon, and our attitude has not yet been formed. A gadget is not just a toy, it’s like a chainsaw, conditionally, it’s both a useful thing and a dangerous one. To use it, you must first develop certain skills. A child cannot yet develop them on his own; a competent adult is needed.

Other dangers

It is impossible to protect children from all the evils in the world. Danger can come from unexpected places. To prevent trouble, you need to know your children's social circle. However, in the modern world, this is not enough: now children communicate on social networks, on various sites, and monitoring such communication is much more difficult. We all remember the hype around the Blue Whale community, which encouraged teenagers to commit suicide. People influenced children from a distance, and often well-to-do children.

Teenagers are controllable, and skilled psychologists know how to make them either stand “on watch” during a robbery or plant drugs in the right place. Our task is not to be indifferent. We must talk about the dangers, monitor who the child communicates with, and do everything again and again so that the thread of trust does not break. I don't mean asking for secrets, but normal communication. Of course, it will not protect you from everything, but it will give you the opportunity not to get confused in an unexpected situation.

We need to be vigilant. There is a blind love for children, which does not think about the fact that a child cannot grow up without restrictions and boundaries. But without control and restrictions, a child’s life will turn into chaos, and our task is to create these frameworks. And, of course, you need to pray for your children - this is the main weapon of Christian parents.

Archpriest Georgy Tsyganov

Show the consequences of stealing

Another method is not to tell, but to show specific examples of what can happen if a child is caught stealing. If your teenager took money or some things from you, some parents recommend calling the police and making a “mock” arrest so that the police officer explains to the child what the consequences may be and how his whole life will change. This tactic may seem extreme, and it is only suitable if the theft affects you directly, because then it is up to you to decide whether to contact the police. However, there is a plus - this method can frighten a teenager so much that he will never want to steal again. Consider whether this approach is appropriate for your particular situation.

Let's find out his motivation

Statistically, teenage theft is very common. The reasons for this can be very different: from the desire to get the thing you like at any cost to the need for attention and banal boredom. Therefore, your first and main task is to find out the motives for such behavior.

Perhaps, having learned that your precious child is stealing change from his pocket or, even worse, pocketing things in stores, you will be horrified and indignant. This is a completely natural reaction, but psychologists recommend not attacking a child with accusations. Talk to him calmly and kindly and try to find out what makes him do this.

Spend more time with your teenager

If theft is an attempt to attract attention, the situation should under no circumstances be ignored. Try to spend time with your teenager on a regular basis, demonstrate that you care about him. Invite him to do something together - choose something that really interests him, for example, go to a concert of his favorite band. In such a situation, you can discuss awkward questions and topics that cause discomfort. Reassure your teen that there is no reason to be shy and that stealing is not an option. Explain that you can always turn to you for help and that condoms and other types of contraception are not something to start stealing over.

Provide your teenager with alternative sources of income

If your teen steals because he can't afford the same things as his peers, try finding him a part-time job. This will help him become more responsible and learn how to handle money correctly, and will also provide him with the freedom to buy what he wants rather than steal. You can also encourage your child to create their own budget so that they learn how to save and manage money correctly. Such skills will seriously help him in later life.

Some advice from psychologists

Being a parent is a complex science, so any problem should be solved without harming the child.
Try to look for mutually beneficial ways out, focusing on preventing a possible recurrence of the situation. Experts make several recommendations:

• if you do not have evidence of your son or daughter’s guilt, although the suspicions are justified, do not rush to immediately blame the child; if a wrongdoing is proven, do not stoop to splashing out negativity - avoid accusations, insults and humiliation; You should not be frightened by official law enforcement agencies or public censure, as this will only embitter the teenager - he will believe that you think about him only in a negative way; try to help correct the situation, sharing responsibility for what happened; explain all the consequences of the situation, but do not blame him for theft and do not emphasize his responsibility for this; find out the reason for the offense and encourage the child to find an alternative, but legal way, as he should have done in the first place; do not discuss the offense with strangers, do not take the problem outside the family; exclude the possibility of comparison with other peers, especially with those who are popular among teenagers. Such comparison can develop feelings of inferiority; after solving a problem, try not to remember it, but situations that provoke a repetition should be avoided in the future;

Important!

Show that you are upset by such an offense, but that the child himself is not bad at all, that you still love him, and he can trust you.

Find extra activities for your child

Encourage self-development by allowing your teen to use his energy to hone his skills and abilities in productive ways, such as by playing a sport or participating in a hobby group. This will help the child establish communication with peers who have interests other than material values ​​and the latest fashion trends.

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