How to understand that a man has serious intentions? False signs

At a certain moment in communication with a man, a woman feels that it is time to move to a new level, to take the next step. And she wonders: “How do you know when a man has similar intentions and we both want the same thing?” Women are often misled; they think that a man’s actions are aimed at forming a serious relationship. A woman has already painted a picture of a future together for herself, but a man can see everything differently.

In this article we will look at the false signs that women equate with serious intentions:

• Beautiful courtship;
• Expensive gifts;
• Meeting friends and parents;
• Talking about a future together;
• Manifestation of jealousy;
• Desire to start a family;
• Constant communication.

Do you want to know why these manifestations of a man should not be taken seriously? Watch the video on our YouTube channel:

He looks after you beautifully

A man gives flowers, invites you to a restaurant, organizes romantic dates. All this is very pleasant, but perhaps the man is just used to behaving this way with a woman. By the way, the best suitors are often married men.

Perhaps the man is courting you so that you begin to open up and so that he quickly enters your field of trust. He looks at how much you trust him, what you like, what signs of attention cause delight. The purpose of these actions can be completely different.

And the woman begins to imagine that if he circles around me, pays attention and time to me, spends money, then the man is in the mood for a serious relationship. Courtship is good, but it has nothing to do with responsibility. Courtship is not a sign that the man has made a choice that your communication will continue. Enjoy the process, but be careful and do not create illusions that you are a couple.

Signs of serious intentions

The most important indicator of a relationship is investment. A man should not spare any time, money, imagination, or kind words for his beloved. Investing effort and time in building relationships is the key to their long-term life, because the more you give, the more you value your investment.

Different men may have different priorities and values. And if a wealthy partner wastes his expensive time on meetings and cancels important negotiations, this is a sign of the girl’s higher value for him.

Also, a poor student can invest in his passion with nice gifts of insignificant value, care and attention. You shouldn’t just believe beautiful words, you need to draw conclusions from your actions.

Conversations about a future together, about children, about a house by the sea bring all the girls into emotion. Cynics can take advantage of this to charm a girl and take possession of her. But the majority of men do not start a conversation on such serious topics, having no plans for the future with this particular girl.

He gives expensive things

Expensive gifts indicate that a man has the opportunity to buy and give valuable things. If he does this when a marriage proposal has already been made, then such actions can be regarded as a desire to invest in you and be responsible.

If no offers are received, but the man gives gifts, then perhaps he is counting on sex with you or is interested in other benefits for himself, for example, your intelligence can be used as a business resource.

Maybe the man understands that this is the only way with you - if you don’t give you expensive gifts, then it won’t come down to sex. Expensive gifts are generosity for which you need to be grateful, but not think: “He is so generous because he wants me to become his wife.”

Also, a man may be interested in your connections, which will help him develop his business. He is a gift for you, you are the necessary contacts for him. Therefore, do not rush to “iron the veil.” Generosity is a good quality, which does not mean that a man sees you as a woman to live with.

Do you want to learn how to better understand men in order to build a serious and long-lasting relationship? Sign up for our free 6-day online course: “Men: honest instructions for use. No drama or manipulation."

How to get a serious relationship from a man4

For a guy to be crazy, you need to become the woman of his dreams: an ideal housewife, a stately beauty, a slut. Combining three roles is difficult for girls, and only the wisest do not disdain this recommendation. Psychologists say that in a man’s subconscious there are two ideal women: chaste and depraved. At first glance, these are two incompatible qualities, but this is not so; they can be competently alternated in a relationship. Compatibility in bed is important for a relationship, and if it is not there, then there will not be a happy union.

You can also increase your value for a man by provoking him to perform feats for the sake of his beloved. Being a hero in a girl's eyes is priceless. To do this, you need to ask him to help out in simple situations in which you need male help and support. Choose a moment in which he is strong and can definitely cope, for example, ask:

• pick up guests from an uninhabited place, citing fear;
• select phone;
• set up equipment;
• rearrange the furniture;
• teach the language.

How to understand a man’s intentions if he says one thing in words, but there are no actions. It is necessary to arrange a check with the above points. For the sake of the girl he likes, for whom he has serious plans, a man is not capable of such feats. So, here's a great way to understand that a man is hiding his feelings.

Meeting friends and parents

Another false sign is that a man introduces you to his friends and maybe even his mom and dad. If you've been dating for about a year and you have plans together, then this is an important factor.

You can find out more about his family. In your family circle and by communicating with his friends, you can find out for sure that he is not married and has no children. But this is not a sign that he is ready to marry you tomorrow.

“Why did you rush?”

The editors of AiF received a letter from an upset 35-year-old Irina N. from Nizhny Novgorod: “Amazing!
Men themselves persuade a woman to have sex almost on the first date, saying: “We are adults, this will end anyway,” “Let’s not think by standards,” “We are so attracted to each other, there is so little good in life, why?” deprive yourself of joy? And then they shed after the first night! And my friend, having achieved closeness from me, now declares: “If you’re like that with me, it means you’ll go to bed with everyone, as soon as you’ve met them!” Why did he rush me into sex so much then?!”

Despite the seeming frivolity of the issue for many couples, it nevertheless became a stumbling block.

— A whole chapter in my book is devoted to the contradictory nature of men’s desires! psychologist Anetta Orlova tells AiF . — Most representatives of the stronger sex believe that they have a clear image in their heads of the ideal woman they are looking for. But in fact these are... two images! Ideal one: a virtuous homemaker, a caring mother, a woman with a lot of moral values ​​who takes care of herself. When a man meets one like this, it would seem that he should quickly marry her! But ah! He quickly becomes bored with such a lady. Because it turns out that another ideal woman “lives” in a man’s head! This is the priestess of love, bright and sexy. Who is devoid of complexes, is in harmony with her body, is ready to give love and is open to sexual pleasures and experiments.

He talks to me about a future together

You can say whatever you want. If you have been dating for a long time, spend a lot of time together, went on vacation, perhaps you have started looking at options for real estate in which you will live, or want to rent an apartment, then you actually have joint plans.

Remember that talking and acting are two different things. No matter what a man tells you, always focus on what he does. When a man starts saying: “We’ll go there”, “We’ll do this”, “I’ll build a house”, “We’ll have everything” - these are just words.

The first two to three months after the start of communication, a man is inclined to promise a lot, and the woman believes what is said. I’m not saying that all men are deceivers; it’s not their fault that women simply believe words. To avoid offending men, be reasonable and adequate.

He wants to propose to you

Source: iStock

This means that he actually wants to propose. This means that marriage is exactly the format of relationship that he has been striving for all his life.

This is where most women go wrong. They choose a guy who clearly doesn't know what he wants. And then they hope that he will somehow change his mind.

Jealousy of other men

When a man shows jealousy, women often perceive it this way: “I am his woman, he cares about me, he cares about me.” It seems to the woman that she is the only, unique object of desire for him.

In fact, jealousy is a negative feeling. This is manipulation to take control of you and limit your actions. People can see this from the outside and say: “Listen, this is somehow abnormal, he put you in a cage.”

This behavior may indicate that a man has a predisposition to tyranny and abuse. Don't take jealousy as someone who wants to protect you. Especially if jealousy manifests itself constantly: “You can’t go there, you can’t wear this either!”

That is, a man wants to change you, forces you to cut off old ties with friends, and then only he remains in your life. Such a relationship is built on dependence, and a relationship with a jealous man is never simple.

Behavior

When a man wants a serious relationship, he strives to spend more time with his chosen one. See her, hear her, touch her. Even if you don’t have time to meet during the week, the young man will be active in calls or correspondence.

If this is a first date, he will definitely get in touch this evening to find out about your mood, plans, thoughts. Ask what you ate delicious or say good night.

Pay attention to how a man behaves in the presence of other people, especially the fair sex. A partner with serious intentions will brag about you and be proud of you. He will not flirt with other women, devour them with his eyes, or admire them. All his energy will be directed exclusively at you.

If a man comes to your house, he will definitely come in a good mood, no matter what troubles happen to him. And a guy with serious intentions will never come empty-handed to your family.

When meeting an interesting lady, a man worries about his appearance - he sucks in his stomach, straightens his hair, becomes cheerful, and straightens his clothes.

A man wants a family

On a dating site, a man wrote in his profile: “I’m looking for a woman for a serious relationship.” That doesn't mean it's true. When you start communicating with such men, they utter phrases: “I’ve already had my fill,” “I’ve already settled down,” “I’ve already matured, and therefore now I’m ready for a serious relationship.”

Pay attention to such phrases. This turns out to be true very rarely. Normal men who are really mature, who really want a relationship, don’t say it out loud. Because they understand that you both need time to get to know each other better.

A worthy man will never just say the words “I’m ready.” Because if he said it, he will have to do it. Therefore, such men first look at how comfortable or uncomfortable you are together. And only after some time can they say that they are ready for a relationship or propose.

The proposal can sound in different formats: for example, “Let's live together” or “I want you to become my wife.” This indicates seriousness of intentions, and promises that someday this will happen usually remain just words.

To learn how to distinguish worthy men from “storytellers”, sign up for our free 6-day online course: “Man: honest instructions for use. No drama or manipulation."

How to find out a man's intentions: recognizing genuine plans

The first month flew by quickly and dizzyingly after meeting the most charming, strong, kind man. The young body, exhausted from the persistent caresses of well-groomed and strong hands, demands a continuation of the love feast. The fiery heart, vigorously pumping blood at the sight of this beloved and dear man, asks for even more passion. However, the foggy mind, which has quieted down for a while, whispers more and more insistently that it is time to find out the man’s true intentions. The mind, relaxed during the period of romantic courtship, begins to hint more and more boldly that there are some little things and certain circumstances indicating that a man may have other plans for the future that are clearly different from our fantasies. Indeed, such a situation occurs at every step, when a couple is having a great time together, but no declarations of love or proposals to legitimize the relationship are heard from the guy at all. When partners have a wonderful time spending rare hours of divine idyll, however, there is no slightest hint of a serious relationship on the part of the young man. For some period of time, uncertainty can be tolerated, but over time, every self-respecting woman has a logical question: “How to understand the true intentions of the man you like? How do you know if the guy you love so much has serious plans?” Our mothers, grandmothers and distant ancestors knew well that the soul of another person is darkness, and the structure of the male psyche is a completely dense forest. The camouflaged behavior of the guys, their silence and reluctance to show emotions is a natural and natural phenomenon. All this is due to the fact that recognizing the existence of love is much more difficult for a man than conquering the vastness of the Universe and setting up scientific stations in distant galaxies. Absolutely everything scares young people when declaring their love and telling them their plans. And the fear that they won’t be able to find the right words. And the worry that they will be misunderstood. And the fear that they will be ridiculed. And the anticipation that others will know about their plans. However, the most obsessive and all-consuming male fear, which does not allow him to talk out loud about his intentions, is associated with the fact that guys naively believe that as soon as the lady of his heart finds out about serious plans, she will certainly reject him. Stealth is a natural instinct of men, which, in their opinion, allows them to survive and succeed on the love front. We will not reshape male psychology, but will accept this feature of guys as a fact. And we will begin to act like a spy who has penetrated the complex life of a man in order to find out: he is attracted only by a short-term relationship, or he has serious intentions. We take advice from psychologists for guidance. How to tell if a guy has serious intentions: signals of his sympathy

A huge mistake that many women make is passing off sweet dreams as harsh reality. To get rid of the chaos in your head, eliminate the confusion in your soul and determine the guy’s true plans, the main action is to take off your rose-colored glasses, put out the fire in your heart and turn on your mind. We, like sages who have taken the lotus position and observe life from heaven, must look at our relationship with a guy from the outside. To impartially evaluate the essence and quality of our contacts. Analyze your partner’s behavior, his statements about life values ​​and plans. Do not try to embellish his personality, do not justify his actions and do not distort the true meaning of meetings. Attentiveness, observation and prudence will help determine whether a guy’s intentions are serious or whether he craves a short pleasant pastime. We should study very carefully how exactly he treats us: what he says, how he helps, what advice he gives. No matter how funny it may sound, even whether a man opens the car door for you or offers you his jacket on a cool evening can tell a lot about his upbringing and manners. We need to pay attention to what opinion he expresses in general about the female sex, whether he talks about his parents with respect or disdain, and whether he values ​​family traditions. To find out the intentions of a young man, entering his social circle will help us. We must understand how his friends live and breathe. Find out whether he prefers to communicate with established family people or likes to spend time in a cheerful and noisy company of bachelors who dilute their leisure time with fun with women. His statements about his previous relationships can also tell you whether a guy has serious intentions. Does he accuse his previous passion of all mortal sins, brand her with shame, attribute devilish flaws, or respond with warmth. If his previous relationship has resulted in him becoming a father, we must carefully examine how he treats his own child. We remember that if a man speaks cynically and angrily about his previous partner, we cannot be sure that such negative diarrhea will not happen to him after our separation. We take into account that if a man does not help and does not contribute to the upbringing of his existing child, then he is unlikely to become a caring parent in the future. To determine a man's intentions, we must observe how he treats other representatives of the fair sex. It’s one thing to gaze admiringly at a gorgeous beauty and then, as if nothing had happened, continue to compliment us. A completely different indicator is when a man unceremoniously flirts with other ladies, leaving us in splendid isolation. We remember that if a man has serious plans for us, he will not make persistent attempts to meet another young lady: not in reality, not in the virtual world. Moreover, he will not court other ladies, making us nervous and jealous. How to understand a man's plans? We pay attention to his statements. If he tries to convince us that ideal relationships are those that imply complete freedom, absence of responsibilities and personal independence, then, most likely, the guy means exclusively his personal freedom. This is an indication that he does not plan to build a life together and is not going to take on part of the obligations that naturally arise. This is a sign that the man does not accept you as a reliable companion for many years. But he is just content with a fleeting connection that gives him variety in life. How to determine a guy's intentions? We listen to what experiences he shares with you. If a man openly discusses the advantages and disadvantages, charms and defects of other women, then it is unlikely that he has serious plans for you. Surely, he perceives you as a reliable friend with whom he can share his opinion and who is comfortable to cry into his vest. How to find out a man's plans? Pay attention to whether he is trying to introduce you to his circle of friends, how he introduces his companion to his friends. We take into account that a young man with serious intentions tries to “show off” his lovely bride to his friends and therefore is happy to be with her in company. We remember that if a man makes some global plans for you, he will not delay the moment of introducing his chosen one to his relatives. Of course, you can’t expect that after the first date the guy will definitely introduce you to his parents as a bride. However, if a man does not make any attempts to meet his family after a year of dating, then he is unlikely to make serious plans for you. This phenomenon is often observed among married men who lead their mistress by the nose, assuring them that they are single. A sign that a man has serious intentions is trust. If a person boldly trusts you with secrets, openly tells you details of his past, shares his experiences, then, for sure, his plans include your presence in his life. Another sign that indicates a guy’s serious intentions is a conscious choice of topics for conversation regarding the prospects of living together. A guy who talks about how wonderful and happy you will be together is definitely interested in continuing the relationship. A significant signal confirming that you are valuable and dear to a man is his hint about a clear desire to procreate. A man will never discuss the topic of raising children if he does not see his current partner as their mother. Unless, of course, he is a notorious liar and cynic. An important evidence that a guy has serious intentions is his desire to spend as much time with you as possible. A man in love will regularly call you on the phone and write messages on social networks. He will try to meet you after work and offer to spend the evening together. He will definitely want to be close to you on the weekend. Many women believe that if a young man invited them home, this is a guarantee of his serious intentions. However, this is not entirely true. There are guys for whom their native land is a sanctuary, where mere mortals cannot enter. But there is also a large group of guys who simply do not have the opportunity to find another place for intimate meetings with a woman. Their house is like a passageway, where fifty young ladies visit in a month, and not only his girlfriends, but also the chosen ones of his friends. Therefore, you should not draw a conclusion about a man’s plans just because you crossed the threshold of his apartment. But if a guy persistently demands that you pack your bags and move to his paradise in a hut, then this is a serious argument that confirms his interest. When a man feels sympathy for a young lady, he will show care and tenderness. Moreover, he will not demand anything in return for his help. A guy interested in a woman will never ignore her requests and will not refuse to do things that he is capable of doing. He will not shirk cutting down the dead trees in his beloved grandmother's garden. He will courageously carry a rotten sofa from the bedroom to the living room. A man in love will patiently teach your little brother to ride a tricycle. Some ladies believe that if a guy is in love, he will talk non-stop about his feelings. However, young ladies forget that for some young guys, vows of deep love are an empty sound that they repeat every day. That is why most often the silence of men acts as confirmation of their serious intentions. His gestures, facial expressions and movements speak about the guys’ true feelings. A young man in love will strive with his whole body to get closer to his chosen one. He will look the lady of his heart straight in the eyes. How to find out a man's intentions? A serious guy will look for ways to surprise and please his chosen one. Moreover, he will not necessarily arrange surprises if there is an important occasion. It is not necessary that his gifts will be expensive, but you can definitely count on the originality of the ideas of a man in love. Of course, there are also guys who are unable to think beyond sweets and bouquets. Another important point that reveals the essence of a man’s relationship is intimate intimacy. A man in love will not insist on intimacy and rush a woman. At the moment of an intimate meeting, he will not limit himself solely to his own pleasure, but will try with all his might to please his lady. A man in love will not stare at his smartphone immediately after a meeting, nor will he rush to a spontaneously organized business meeting. In the morning after a stormy night, a man in love will offer breakfast or at least make coffee. He will not be indifferent to how the lady of his heart gets home from his apartment: he will take the woman to the entrance by car or order her a taxi. A man interested in a companion will not limit the time she stays in his house, hinting that at eight in the morning there is a conference in his apartment. Moreover, it will not disappear for a month after the first sex. How to find out a man's plans? We remember that a man in love will not:

• talk exclusively about sex;
• avoid meeting with you and look for reasons to cancel the date;
• give ultimatums;
• interrupt you when you talk about your feelings;
• “hide” you from the public;
• disappear for a long time;
• demand the impossible from you.

Remember: if something is really bothering you in your relationship with a man, the best way to find out his plans is to talk to him frankly. If the young man fusses and tries to avoid the conversation, it is quite possible that his intentions are not too serious at all, or that he has another woman.

Waits as long as necessary5

Also an important factor. Surely, you will decide to test your chosen one with time. And here the position of the young man is very important. If he starts acting up or asking a lot of questions, then you should check him again. If he is calm, self-confident and silently agrees to wait for your decision as long as necessary, then you can safely rely on this person, since he has already proven his reliability. This test of time will help you understand that the guy has serious intentions.

Wants to meet parents2

Wow! Further more! Your chosen one suddenly announced that he wants to meet your parents. This is a serious step that will immediately show that your boyfriend is not a coward and that he has serious intentions, because most womanizers are afraid like hell of meeting the girl’s parents.

Therefore, you can trust your partner more if he suddenly expresses a desire to communicate with your father and appear in front of your strict mother. Surely, he is ready for difficult questions and can adequately answer them, simultaneously formalizing his claims to your hand and heart.

Getting to know your boyfriend's parents will be easier after reading our special article.

Calling to himself

No, he doesn’t just invite him over for the evening, but invites him to move in and live with him permanently. This act characterizes the guy as a person capable of being responsible, caring for a loved one and providing for him. This is how a guy shows his masculinity by providing his beloved with shelter, food and full provision, relieving her of financial and domestic problems.

This action suggests that the guy has serious intentions towards you. No one will invite a stranger into the house, just like a partner for one night. The young man is ready to take responsibility for you now, even though you are not his wife yet, and this is a very good indicator of his masculine character.

Passes tests6

Some girls love to test their guys, and in completely different ways. From innocent flirting with other members of the opposite sex to completely radical methods like breaking up a relationship.

Yes, this cannot be called a sincere and good relationship, and even more so one cannot justify such behavior on the part of the girl, however, if, despite the eccentricity of the fairer sex. Despite her whims and uncertainty, the guy is still next to her and solves her problems, this can speak volumes, and definitely in favor of the young man.

Based on these main factors, you can easily understand that the guy has serious intentions.