The signs listed below may indicate either directly or indirectly that the husband has a mistress. You should look at the situation through the prism of complexity; the presence of one sign may not be an indicator of betrayal.
The main and main criterion during the period of analyzing the situation is primacy, the appearance of changes that did not exist before, something that is not characteristic of the partner and has never manifested itself.
HOW TO KNOW THAT A MAN IS CHEATING?
/ HOW TO FIND OUT YOUR HUSBAND’S LOVER? /CHEATING/ ADVICE FROM A PSYCHOLOGIST Video: How to find out that a man is cheating? How to identify your husband's mistress?
Telephone
Nowadays, a smartphone is the first and main source of information. Thanks to the telephone, it is possible to learn a lot about a person’s life, if not everything.
- The man does not let go of the gadget. The phone is next to him always and everywhere. The husband does not forget to take the phone when he moves from room to room, goes to the restroom, bathroom, and puts it next to him on the bed.
- The man turns the gadget over with the screen facing down.
- Sets additional security - passwords, unlocking using facial recognition, etc.
- Turns on silent mode so that you don't hear constantly incoming messages.
Any change related to a gadget should be treated with caution.
Further actions if signs of husband's infidelity are confirmed
Not every woman is able to calmly accept the news that her husband is unfaithful to her, especially if she is psychologically attached to him and depends on him financially. What's the best thing to do if you find out the truth? First of all, do not give in to emotions, try to control yourself. No scandals or hysterics! Now you should calmly think about what happened and what way out of the situation would be best for you. Of course, this advice is unlikely to be followed by a very jealous wife, who finds it difficult to maintain composure even when thinking about another woman. But nevertheless, it is worth paying attention to the recommendations of experts who study the nature of male infidelity.
- Do not forget about the polygamy of representatives of the stronger half of humanity . This is an innate property that ensures procreation. Therefore, there is nothing strange that a man is able to show interest in several women at once; this is normal male behavior. So try to understand the husband who cheated on you: the instincts given to him by nature turned out to be stronger than him.
- Come to terms with betrayal, take it for granted . This has already happened, and it is not in your power to change anything. Don’t reproach yourself, don’t engage in self-flagellation, don’t imagine in detail. Don't think that he wanted to hurt you. Men in general are easily carried away and influenced by impulses; absolutely faithful spouses are extremely rare. And any of us can make a mistake.
- Look for the reason . Think about why your husband did this. Try to be “in his shoes”: maybe you yourself are to blame for his actions? Does he think the same about his family as you do? Do you feel the same way about marriage? Would you say that you know your husband's wishes and respect them? Is his opinion important to you? Of course, this does not stop your spouse from being a bastard in your eyes, but if you yourself are flawed as a wife, the problem will not go away. You will not become happy, and trust will not return to your home.
- Find out the opinion of psychologists . Their books are unlikely to be able to relieve your soul of pain. However, you will have the opportunity to understand yourself, you will take your mind off your troubles and, most likely, you will find out what other ways out of the current situation are. There is no point in reading everything, a couple of books are enough. Find the one that will instill optimism in you and rid you of pessimism. All you need from reading now is to believe in yourself again and begin the fight for your life with renewed vigor. You will be able to find the reason for what happened and figure out how best to cope with the crisis that has occurred in your relationship.
- Be strong . There is no need to make a scandal and throw tantrums, control yourself, especially when you are not alone. Stormy showdowns will not do you any good - they will exhaust you, and besides, those around you and your loved one will see you in an unsightly light. And with hysterical behavior you can scare your children, if you have them. Pull yourself together, be restrained, think about every step you take on the path to happiness and harmony - it should not be the result of emotions.
- Don't force a man to choose . If a spouse feels embarrassed by his betrayal, it seems to him that he is confused, then it is unlikely that he planned to leave the family. If you, succumbing to your resentment, give him an ultimatum, your husband may get angry and take the wrong step, which he did not plan. No matter how unhappy you feel, turn on feminine wisdom, do not put pressure on your companion, otherwise his momentary temptation will turn into a tragedy. Both of you are now passing the test of betrayal, and it is within your power to pass it with dignity.
And most importantly – don’t be humiliated! There is no need to cry, beg, ask to stay if he decides to leave. Each man experiences his betrayal differently and behaves differently. The best way to prevent infidelity is to treat your partner with respect and love. In this case, affection for you will grow, and thoughts of betrayal will occur less and less often. Your husband should feel spiritual closeness with you. Communicate more often and do not forget to tell him that you are glad because he is in your life.
Appearance
The husband begins to carefully monitor his appearance.
- Signs up for the gym;
- Buys new clothes;
- Carefully monitors the change of underwear;
- Takes a shower more often than usual and wears perfume.
An emphasis on appearance is a clear sign of something new in relationships with the opposite sex.
External change
A man’s appearance can speak very eloquently about the emergence of a new passion. If your boyfriend has never taken special care of himself, but suddenly he started shaving every day, bought a new perfume, and began ironing the collars of his shirt, then you should take a closer look at him.
But remember that changes in appearance may be associated with a transition to a new position, for example. Therefore, do not rush at him with accusations if the guy suddenly starts wearing classic suits instead of the usual T-shirt and jeans.
Behavior
New words, expressions and even intonations appear in the partner’s vocabulary. This means the presence of an environment influencing a man.
The partner becomes forgetful, absent-minded, unfocused. Forgot to pay bills, pick up the child from kindergarten, etc.
The newly emerged secrecy and isolation in the husband’s behavior should also raise alarm bells. The life of a double agent requires tension and precautions so as not to screw up.
The man becomes picky: the children make loud noise, the cutlets are too salty, the dress doesn’t fit right. In psychology, this is called transferring blame to the partner. In other words: “It’s your fault that I’m cheating, not me.”
Read How to improve your relationship with your husband and save your family
Your partner often lies. Inconsistencies appear in minor everyday moments.
Cold bed
The man has found another girl for love pleasures and therefore at home he no longer needs your attention in bed. One of the most common signs is that you are not having sex. He no longer likes to lie with you just in an embrace, he began to kiss you less often and show male attention.
But here, too, you shouldn’t ring the bell right away. Perhaps your partner has serious health problems, but he doesn’t want to tell you, he’s embarrassed or afraid. Therefore, before attacking him, try to figure out exactly all the possible options.
Sex
The laws of physics - if it has come somewhere, it means it has gone somewhere - also apply to sexual relationships. The lack of intimate life is another reason to think that the husband has a mistress.
Behavior changes during sex. The man becomes distracted and dreamy. It seems that the partner is absent.
The opposite scenario of intimate behavior described above may also be a sign of betrayal. A man begins to experiment in bed - new positions, games, areas of the body.
Attitude towards your woman5
The cheater stops paying attention to you, your intimate relationship is reduced to zero, he compares you with other women - this is what should definitely make you think about your mistress. The man is dissatisfied with you, because on the other side he sees something better than you, well, at least it seems so to him.
Sometimes men feel truly sorry because they do not understand that their woman at the beginning of the relationship was completely different, as beautiful as a mistress, but it is because of men and their behavior that women become different.
There is also the other side of the coin, when a man, on the contrary, begins to shower his woman with gifts, admire you, arrange some kind of dates, trips to your parents and much more.
Food
Your partner's taste preferences change. As a rule, a man who has a mistress is a well-fed man. The old truism that the way to the heart of the stronger sex is through food works well in reality.
This knowledge is used by women who do not neglect relationships with married men, trying to impress their lover with their personal culinary art.
No one canceled visits to cafes and restaurants. This pastime has been and remains one of the most popular.
A man should come home from work hungry. If the situation looks different, it's worth thinking about.
Read 6 changes in a man’s behavior after cheating
Avoiding lunch snacks is another red flag. Food prepared by the wife is the love and care of the other half. Reluctance to take home-cooked food to work means an internal rejection of the above-mentioned emotional messages.
We recommend reading:
Why does my husband cheat and what to do about it; Crisis in relationships; What kind of women do men like?
The family's financial situation has worsened
If previously the financial side of your life was quite well established, but at some point everything changed for the worse, rest assured that it could not have happened without a woman. Of course, the company where your chosen one works may be experiencing difficult times, but in this case, you would have received this information in advance, that is, even before you had time to spend his last salary.
Everyone knows that keeping a mistress is not a cheap pleasure, even those who have never found themselves in such a situation. Consequently, if your financial situation has worsened for no apparent reason, it means that someone else is managing your family funds. Although, another option cannot be ruled out: your loved one is saving money for a gift for the upcoming holiday.
Emotions
A married couple is, first of all, a man and a woman who tend to naturally show emotions of mutual love:
- kisses;
- hugs;
- compliments.
A man’s refusal of these emotional manifestations towards his wife should raise alarm bells.
Advice from experienced wives
Men are not inclined to cheat on strong and self-sufficient women. Therefore, instead of looking for evidence of infidelity, it is worth understanding the possible reasons and, above all, yourself. By increasing your self-esteem and working on your own development, you can achieve unexpected results. Seeing his transformed wife nearby, the husband will forget the way to the left, if the mistress really took place in the couple. Here you need to act comprehensively:
- work on your appearance - figure, hairstyle, wardrobe, remember what you were like before the wedding and boring life;
- finding a hobby - here it is not necessary to knit openwork napkins, even building a career can be made a favorite pastime;
- internal development - in addition to Turkish TV series, it is worth sitting down to read useful literature, expanding your horizons on any topic, be it psychology, the structure of a washing machine or changing the oil in a car;
- your own life - in addition to children and household chores, find time for friends, walks and cafes.
Generosity
Unplanned gifts, vacation trips, flowers for no reason. From a psychological point of view, such behavior is regarded as unconscious bribery.
Naturally, the man realizes his guilt before the deceived woman. Thus, the partner unconsciously tries to make up for the emotional damage caused to his victim and make amends for his guilt.
You shouldn’t be instantly happy when the husband immediately agrees and approves of separate trips, sending his wife and children to the seaside or to grandma’s, with a smile on his face, having paid for the trip in advance. It is quite possible that a man is buying time together with his mistress.
How can you tell if a man has another woman?
Well, let's start from the very beginning: he constantly starts to sit on his phone, begins to password it and, moreover, changes the password almost every day and hides it, carries it with him all the time, wherever he is, when at work he is constantly online on social networks, accordingly he stops write and call your wife, in the evenings find excuses that you need to stay late at work or help friends, as a rule there are many more of them than before, you don’t really want to sleep with your wife right away, he says that he’s tired, has a headache or something like that, It also happened that a wife in bed with her husband noticed that somehow this began to happen differently, and of course, a woman’s inner feeling almost never fails. Therefore, men, if you haven’t had a good time, then you shouldn’t get married, but go out for your own health, don’t torment the female sex, but if, after all, you got married and go out on the left, then you should think about divorce!” EVERYTHING SECRET EVER BECOMES CLEAR. "
Finance
A relationship with a mistress is always an additional expense. The excuses are varied:
- car maintenance has become more expensive;
- bought expensive tires;
- wages were cut;
- did not pay the promised bonus.
Increased costs are becoming systematic.
