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“My wife doesn’t respect me” is one of the common thoughts that haunts many men. Is it possible to regain her respect and how to do it? Respect is one of the main things in a relationship.
How to change your attitude towards yourself and regain respect
If you have such thoughts, then this is no longer very good. Most likely, there are several things that need to be fixed. And the very first thing you need to do is admit the mistakes you make.
The situation is complicated by the fact that there are incorrect attitudes circulating in society and even among professional psychologists, and therefore you may hear incorrect advice on how to correct the situation. For example: to regain your wife’s respect, give her even more care and attention. But in fact, this will only make the situation worse.
Respect cannot be bought. No gifts or demonstrative actions will wake him up. Respect the individual. And if you don’t feel this way about yourself, then there’s something wrong with you. Yes, it hurts to hear. But the first step to solving a problem is accepting it.
- Stop seeking her respect. No amount of persuasion will help. Accept the situation (outwardly).
- Start analyzing your relationship with your wife. What are you doing wrong?
- Identify areas you can change. But remember that you only have half of it in your hands.
- Divorce is definitely not the solution. At least until you seriously try to change something. Give yourself at least a year to correct the situation.
Being in a very difficult situation is not scary. You know where to go. The point you are at now is just the beginning.
A wife's disrespect for her husband brings a lot of problems. And as soon as you start to change something, it will worsen, and its manifestations - lack of sexual desire, arrogance, insults - will reach their maximum point. You need to endure and survive all this. By regaining respect, you will get yours back. The relationship will be better than it was at the very beginning.
In general, trying to make a girl respect you is a big mistake! Yes, that's exactly what I said! They are doomed to resounding failure. The fact is that everything comes from within, from yourself. As soon as you truly respect yourself, those around you will begin to feel the same towards you.
1. Get in shape. Many people justify their loss of fitness due to age. Moreover, it is not clear how exactly this is connected, because some people look great at 50, while others have a huge belly already at 28. It is difficult to have respect for a man who has become fat. Anyone can lose weight and get fit.
2. Lose interest in her. Get used to it: many of the tips on how to regain your wife's interest sound counterintuitive. While you are running after her and doing everything to please her, you do not look like a man. More like a pet that is begging for something. The maximum she feels is condescension. Have respect for yourself, as I said above. Become self-sufficient. You have your own life, even if you are married. You can't buy location. No, no. Girls go crazy about men who are unapproachable and stingy with emotions. From now on, you no longer run after your wife and try to please her in every possible way.
3. Gain self-confidence. It is very important for a man to know his own worth - both in life and in relationships. This is a fundamental quality that must be maintained. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who has no self-respect. He is not handsome, not attractive, not sexy. The good news is that the situation can be corrected at any age. The main thing is to focus on your strengths and start developing them. And it’s worth starting with broadcasting this quality. Self-confidence is acquired through habit.
4. Remember your manners. A real man behaves with dignity. His habits and gestures are beautiful and elegant. Once upon a time, gentlemen were in fashion - they are what all girls dream of. Just remember your behavior at the moment when you made her fall in love with you, and compare it with what you do now. You are consumed by routine and everyday life. But most girls still manage - with more or less success - to maintain their attractiveness and sexuality. For some reason guys have problems with this.
5. Gain mastery in sex. If you know how to bring your girlfriend to orgasm and do it regularly, she is unlikely to stop wanting you. Good lovers don't lose respect because they have at least one good quality. Learning the wisdom of sex is not so difficult. And if you didn’t have a partner who could do this, turn to literature.
As you can see, you need to work hard on yourself to regain your wife’s respect. But all this will help you in the rest of your life. So your wife’s attitude is only the first indicator that something is wrong with you. Act quickly before you waste everything you have.
Modern representatives of the fair half of humanity are no longer the weaker sex, as they once thought. Wives try to rise above their husbands, trying to infringe and humiliate them. Some ladies openly cheat on their husbands, showing disrespect and causing pain. Will such persons treat their spouse with due respect? Perhaps, but a man needs to try hard.
This is interesting.
The sensational story of a wife’s disdain for her betrothed made the male population rejoice. The Egyptian lady showed her husband dissatisfaction with his salary and the constant lack of money in the family. The country's authorities have introduced a law that states that a husband has the right to file for divorce if his wife accuses him of insolvency. The Supreme Judge supported the decision in every possible way, considering such a harsh statement groundless.
Method 1. Love your own “I”
The wife will not respect a husband who disdains his own person.
Husbands who please their wives in everything need to change their strategy. Do you buy expensive things and perfume for your loved one, but wear faded jeans? Be careful, girls quickly get used to good things. Perhaps this is why your wife stopped respecting you; she got the impression that your husband is unworthy of more.
Don't let yourself be humiliated. Refuse tasteless food if this is actually the case. You are an adult, worthy man who needs high-quality and healthy food. Watch your figure, eat right, join the gym. Ladies love sculpted abs and broad shoulders.
Did your spouse buy a T-shirt on sale that looks terrible on you? Make her a doormat.
A girl dresses in expensive boutiques, spends half her salary on shoes from Botticelli, and at the same time buys her husband cheap T-shirts with crooked prints? Stop allocating money to whims, making it clear that you are the “leader of the pack.”
The situations described are a drop in the ocean of humiliation of male pride. Stand up for your point of view even in petty situations, love yourself and don’t let your wife suppress your man’s ego. Go to a good store, buy an expensive watch and beautiful shoes, after all, the budget is shared.
How intimacy affects relationships
When you and your spouse live together for a long time, you become family and friends, you gradually forget that the other person has his own rhythm and way of life, his own desires or lack thereof, his own views on life and habits. Forgetting this, respect disappears.
And the closer you are to each other, the less respect there is between you.
It turns out that with unfamiliar and not close people we show much more tact and respect.
But why?
But it’s all about the distance, which we have already talked about. Where people are stuck to each other, where there are no personal boundaries, there will always be a perception of the other as an extension of oneself.
Respect can only be born in the presence of a certain distance, in recognizing the territory of another and one’s own. Distance also allows you to look at a person a little from the side and see something in him that may not be visible upon close examination.
Close emotional relationships lead to the fact that the distance with your spouse is reduced, hence you get used to it and stop seeing the qualities for which you can respect your half. There can be no respect in a relationship that is too close, where husband and wife treat each other as their property.
A man with a kind and gentle heart, oddly enough, does not enjoy the respect of his wife. His kindness and complaisance, on the contrary, are a reason for certain humiliations. A woman strives to command a man; if he resists her, resentment arises: “He doesn’t love me, doesn’t respect me, everything must be done the way he wants.”
If a man gives in, then he is soft-bodied, neither fish nor fowl. There is no respect in either case. Neither when a woman controls a man and tries to subjugate him to herself, imposes her will and desire, nor in another case when she does not feel a man in him. A woman wants to be loved and wants to feel masculine strength, but strength will not give her warmth and comfort, but will give her security. There are no pros or cons, you just have to choose all the time, and the most important thing is to understand your choice and live based on your own choice, and not complain that your friend has a cooler car because her husband earns more.
In a relationship where the wife nags and insults her husband, the subtle plan of both is destroyed. With such behavior, a woman destroys male energy, turning a man into “not a man,” and with “not a man” she will not feel like a happy woman.
By humiliating and insulting her husband, feeling in her soul that he does not have the achievements that she would like to see in him, a woman thereby destroys herself and her feminine essence, she destroys her feminine energy.
Method 2: Become self-sufficient
Constantly look for options for additional income. Don't live off your salary and struggle to make ends meet. Most women blame their husbands for material poverty, as a result of which they cease to respect them. It's logical. There are no such ladies eager to marry a man sitting at home watching TV with a bottle of beer in his hand instead of doing business.
The question arises about a small salary? Convince the woman that you are trying to provide for your family. She made a vow at the altar to be with her husband in sorrow and in joy, in wealth and in poverty; reproaches here are extremely inappropriate. However, the advice about additional income remains relevant.
Get rid of laziness, read literature, develop yourself and lead your loved one. The man is the guiding line, the wife is the guided one. Take the initiative and don’t shy away from funny ideas; women love an unconventional approach.
Method 3. Engage in re-education of your spouse
It is generally accepted that a man does not need to complain about his wife and about the car, they say, he chose it himself. But what to do when the situation gets out of control? That's right, re-educate.
Tied the knot with an eccentric lady? You'll have to sweat a lot. Temperamental girls are difficult to “train”; they have already developed a certain character and, by and large, such girls do not want to change anything.
Men who praise their women should reconsider their position. Stop indulging her, learn to say “No!” when a controversial issue arises. Pay attention to what exactly your spouse is unhappy with, then try to convey your own point of view in a calm voice.
Is your wife complaining about your constant absence due to work? Make it clear that making money while at home is quite difficult. If the arguments are unconvincing, invite the girl to start working while sitting on the couch next to you.
Are you quarreling with your wife because, in her opinion, you are not paying enough attention to your child? Make a compromise, show the qualities of a caring father. Show that even when you are tired, you care about your family.
When does it make sense to fight for a relationship?
Before you begin the journey of seeking respect from a given man, you need to answer the question: how necessary is this?
There are several relationship options when you shouldn’t waste time:
- a man does not respect and never has respected his wife. He was initially determined to dominate and humiliate, for which he looked for a wife with low self-esteem.
Method 4. Become an attentive lover
You can often hear the phrases from women: “My husband and I have boring and monotonous sex!” or “My husband doesn’t satisfy me!” Become an attentive lover so that your wife will look forward to you coming home from work in the evenings.
Sex for married people often loses its spark and becomes routine. Watch an erotic film together, flirt on the phone, discuss secret fantasies. For every talented lover there is a more experienced male, improve your skills and experiment. Light the wish candle again!
Method 5: Leave room for a riddle
You earn good money, occupy a high position, but your wife has lost respect for you? Stop spoiling her. It is clear that you are ready to fulfill any whims, but in everything you need to know when to stop. It’s not for nothing that Pushkin wrote “The more we love a woman, the less she likes us...”. Don’t run forward to fulfill all your beloved’s wishes, leave room for some mystery, you are not an open book. Let the lady ask for a favor, showing her need. This way you can gradually remove the crown from her.
Did your spouse give you a beautiful (totally unnecessary) writing pen for your birthday? Reciprocate.
Is the girl in no hurry to share family stories? And you shouldn't amuse her with stories about the events that happened last weekend.
As a rule, wives stop respecting their husbands because of their own considerations. Some are dissatisfied with the lack of attention to their person, others want to live like queens, and others do everything themselves without outside support. Identify the true motives of behavior and begin to act. Where the carrot is powerless, try the stick.
Video: how to teach a woman to respect a man
According to statistics, 40% of married couples break up. Women, like men, periodically go “to the left,” so deceived husbands often think about how to punish their unfaithful wife for cheating. There are a huge number of ways to take revenge, but not all of them will bring the desired effect.
Reasons for female infidelity
It is important to understand why the girl took such a desperate step. The guy must eliminate the cause, not the effect. This can be called the only way to save a couple.
Often ladies are not ready for marriage. They didn't have enough time. This happens in young families.
A wedding is an important step. Before getting married, you need to make sure that both partners are ready for this, because family life comes with responsibilities and duties. Not everyone is ready for this.
Another common reason is routine. Love is a chemical reaction in the body. At the beginning of a relationship, hormones are in full swing, causing a person to experience ecstasy. After 3 years the senses become dull.
People begin to live together, constantly flashing before their eyes. Due to the lack of personal space, quarrels and conflicts occur.
To avoid thinking about how to punish a girl for cheating, variety is needed. Passive relaxation in front of the TV will not give you new sensations. It is worth traveling, going to interesting places. This needs to be done together. New joint emotions will ignite faded passion.
Often the cause of betrayal is intimate dissatisfaction. A man often considers a woman a conquered mountain, and since he has achieved her, it means that there is no need to make efforts to maintain the relationship. Such judgments are detrimental to relationships. A guy must fulfill his marital duty both in bed and outside of it.
Often women become victims of abusive relationships. The husband may drink, swear, or do other bad things. The wife wants normal love, so she leaves the family nest.
Inattention
Next method. How to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect? An effective method, the opposite of the one described above, is inattention on your part. If your husband doesn’t see how you try to please him and forgets about important dates, naturally, this is very offensive. However, do not shout or swear. Just keep quiet. He will definitely remember everything he forgot about.
Let's say your husband promised to be back for dinner. Without warning, he goes with friends to a cafe or bar. Do the same to him in revenge. Let him feel like he is in your place.
Has your spouse stopped thanking you for the food you prepared? Think fried potatoes are ordinary? Stop cooking for him altogether. Leave several times without breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Constantly talking about how you are doing nothing while sitting at home? Why endure slander? Sit at the computer or sit in front of the TV. Don't actually do anything. Let him know what it's like.
Do you want to teach your husband a lesson because he claims that you are “resting” on maternity leave? Leave it with your baby all day. Well, have a shopping day with your friends or visit a spa. It is unlikely that after this he will be able to say that caring for a child is simple and easy.
Options for dealing with this situation
There are many options for how to take revenge on your wife for betrayal and painful betrayal.
First of all, it is necessary to determine what revenge will bring. Often men begin to do stupid things in an aggressive state, and then regret it. First you need to determine what you want:
- Is it worth saving such a marriage?
- Revenge on your wife for betrayal will be a beautiful final chord of living together.
Guys are rarely willing to forgive something like this. They are owners by nature, because of this they perceive the departure of a loved one for another man as a personal insult. A husband can take revenge on a girl for cheating in two ways:
- physical;
- moral.
Direct violence should be abandoned, since it is punishable by the Criminal Code. The law states that a person has no right to restrict the freedom of other people.
Before teaching your wife a lesson for cheating, you need to think things through. You need to understand what kind of person she is. You will have to hit the painful points to achieve the desired result.
Disrespect for your husband - what will happen?
Relationships at this level are always difficult, because living in the same territory for a long time is already a psychological problem, since everyone should have at least a little personal space. This is the paradox: on the one hand, we are inclined to boundless gratitude and respect for our loved ones, and on the other hand, we completely enslave them, turning them into our second self. Moreover, this formula works in both directions. Surprisingly, sometimes such forced adaptation of a loved one is perceived as disrespect. So what could it lead to?
Ways to punish a woman
You need to take revenge wisely. The guy must follow a number of rules in order to commit an act of revenge:
- Don't cross the line and end up in a prison cell.
- Understand whether he is ready to forgive his unfaithful spouse or not.
- Do not be led by emotions, so as not to regret your actions.
- Do not go beyond your own moral convictions.
Girls are punished for cheating in two ways: by ignoring or publicly disclosing information about the act that occurred.
Punishment using gadgets
Psychologists do not recommend resorting to this method to take revenge on a girl for treason and betrayal. This can hit a man's pride.
A guy can go into his wife’s phone and start conversations with other men. Thanks to this, the girl will be exposed in an unflattering light. Some write insults to their wife’s close friends.
This method does not always give the expected result. Those around him learn about the deception and begin to despise the stupid husband who is not able to accept a woman’s deception with dignity.
At the household level
Anyone who thinks about how to take revenge on the girl who betrayed him for cheating wants to throw away her things. This method should be abandoned. This kind of behavior is typical of wives, not husbands.
Some use sexual manipulation, but in the case of “looking for someone else on the side” this is not the best punishment.
It is worth limiting the unfaithful spouse in finances. Many girls earn less than guys, so this tactic can make them realize how dependent they are on their chosen ones.
Other ways of revenge
If you study the advice of a psychologist, you can understand that the ideal way to punish a wife for cheating is indifference.
The girl realizes that she has done a bad thing. A cold attitude on the part of a guy will make her shudder, which will worsen her inner feeling of discomfort.
Ignore the cheater. This will become real psychological torture for her. She will repent for a long time.
In case of divorce, you can use other methods:
- Tell your friends about your ex's shortcomings. A convenient way to lower her authority in the eyes of others. However, it is rare for a husband to take revenge on his wife for cheating in this way.
- Start a new romance. The girl should be better in all respects. This will bring not only moral satisfaction, but will also cause jealousy in the cheater.
Signs of Lack of Respect
Signs by which a man or woman can understand that their partner no longer respects them :
- outright boredom in the presence of the other half,
- contempt for the interests of the partner,
- accusations of greed
- use of obscene language, offensive statements,
- constant reproaches, humiliation,
- stinginess,
- excessive demands,
- lack of care and attention,
- ignoring needs
- showing interest in other people of the opposite sex (flirting, staring, flirtatiousness, etc.),
- comparison with other women/men.
It should be noted that such behavior signals a lack of respect, not love.
A person may by nature have a complex, contradictory character , to which is added bad manners and the inability to communicate with the opposite sex. As a result, a similar style of behavior is observed even in the presence of strong feelings for a partner.
Advice from psychologists
Experts recommend taking the news of betrayal with dignity. The best way is to help your wife pack her things with an understanding face. For a girl who is accustomed to having to fight for her, such behavior will be a shock. She has suffered a severe blow to her pride, she will begin to doubt her actions and may want to stay.
Also, psychologists do not recommend damaging your wife’s property. It is better to avoid such methods of solving the problem, since such behavior can lead to problems with the law.
The most important question is whether to forgive betrayal. The answer to this must be individual. People are different, so not everyone is able to forgive betrayal. For example, guys with high self-esteem usually get divorced. They understand that they do not want to continue living with a traitor.
A man should not pester his ex-lover's friends. Such methods aimed at hurting the offender look pathetic and repulsive.
A person must be able to forgive. This is difficult to do, but this is the only way to truly teach a cheater a lesson. Men are proud creatures, so they must face difficulties along the way with dignity.
