How to start dating a guy: tips for girls

Love and relationships

What should you do at the beginning of a relationship to strengthen it?
Practical guidance from a children's fairy tale

What should a girl not do at the beginning of a relationship?

The most vibrant and romantic relationships are at the beginning. Passion, intrigue, new impressions – a whole whirlwind of feelings. But at this stage, the connection between the partners is shaky, not yet secured by mutual grinding. That's why many novels end before they even begin. No girl can insure herself against such a result.

But by following some recommendations, she will certainly be able to transform the candy-bouquet period into a long-term relationship

What does it mean

When you started dating a guy, your relationship became serious, and it could later lead to marriage. But at the moment, you need to enjoy communicating with each other and not worry about plans for the future.
Once they start dating, partners try to spend as much time as possible with each other. The girl happily accepts the young man’s offer to go to the cinema, cafe or go to nature.
Over time, a couple in love acquires a common circle of friends, then acquaintance with close relatives follows. The lovers begin to make joint plans.
The girl takes care of her partner, and she also accepts the care of her gentleman.
A couple in love pleases each other with gifts, surprises, and attentive treatment.

In what situations can a girl suggest starting a relationship?

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For a girl to decide to take the first step, a certain situation is necessary:

when a guy cannot declare his intentions himself, but often invites her on dates and shows with all his might his disposition to continue the relationship;
he has no free time - everything is taken up by work or some other type of activity, which is why he fears that he will not be able to pay enough attention to his girlfriend and will not give her full communication;
he cannot imagine that a serious relationship is possible in his case, which is why he shows passivity and simply does not move on, although he should;
the man has not yet had a relationship, or they happened a long time ago, so he is too used to loneliness and has completely stopped worrying about it, and it often happens that such guys have a lot of girlfriends, but they simply do not see them as potential chosen ones.

These are the main reasons that allow a girl to invite a guy to start dating. Of course, in real life everything can be much more diverse. It is only important to understand that the option where only the guy has the right to take the first step towards a serious relationship has long been outdated. And now in this matter gender is not important.

How to start dating

A girl must have an impeccable appearance if she wants to be noticed.
If you are in the same company, try to sometimes make eye contact with the guy you are interested in. But don't be too persistent.
Copy your loved one's poses. This will unite you with an invisible thread.
Find out about the guy's hobbies first. This way, you can invite a guy, for example, to football if he is interested in this sport.
To get a guy to like you, you need to be charming and sweet. Show that you have sympathy for him. Flirt. Men love to be flirted with. Ask the young man's opinion. It is important that he feels important.
Be natural, the same applies to your choice of makeup. There should be a minimum.
When communicating with a young man you are interested in, do not point out your level of intelligence. If your chosen one is a fairly educated guy, then you can remain yourself, but if he is an ordinary man, not erudite enough, then flaunting your knowledge may scare him away. Listen carefully to what the guy you like is saying. It is important that he feels your interest.
You need to understand that the right conversation largely determines the future of the relationship. If a guy shares his personal experiences, be sure to support him. When a young man says something, do not interrupt him.
When communicating with a gentleman, you don’t need to tell too much about yourself. Let him look forward to the next meeting so that he can communicate closer.
Stay calm and confident. If before an upcoming meeting you are overwhelmed with violent emotions, excitement, your stomach or head begins to hurt, then it is better to sit down, try to relax, turn on soothing music, or even take a relaxing bath to put your thoughts in order.
If you have a first date, prepare in advance; it is important not to be late. Think in advance about what you will wear, what hairstyle you will do, what shoes you will wear.

The “taboo” zone, or typical mistakes of girls.

Manipulation.

Jealousy, “double standards”, impulsiveness, uncompromisingness, selfishness, ambition and arrogance push women to such baseness. The desire to manipulate cannot arise from good intentions. Typical manipulator actions :

threats to break off relationships or leave “to stay with mom/dad/aunt from Tambov”;
pressure on pity through tears or lamentations;
setting rigid boundaries in a meaningless choice (“either I or...”);
restriction of intimacy (“Oh so! No sex for a whole week!”);
a promise to harm oneself, another person, or property.

If you see at least one of these phrases in your own words, it’s time to change. And as soon as possible. Feelings do not tolerate boundaries; they prefer freedom. If you take it away, they will begin to go out. And the manipulator himself only causes contempt and reluctance to get involved with him.

Take the jealousy test

Overprotection syndrome.

“No, Lena, I’m sorry, but I won’t come to your bachelorette party. I still need to cook Vasechka’s food, iron his shirts, and wash his trousers.

What? No, no, I'm done with dancing. Vasya said that he was jealous of my coach.

Well, what kind of work, Lena? My Vasenka doesn’t want me to work. So what if I loved my profession?

I'm sorry, what? To the cinema? Today? Oh yes, I haven't been for a long time. But no, Lenochka, I can’t, something went wrong with my Vasily’s project. How can I leave him alone, sad?”

Mystery of the century : men get along just fine in everyday life without women. All you have to do is leave - and they cook Peking duck, easily handle the washing machine and even (incredibly!) take out the trash themselves without prior request.

For overprotection, he had his childhood, his grandmother and his mother. He is now a grown man and deserves to be treated as such.

And a woman who is a grandmother is not sexy, after all!

3. “He will change.”

Or even worse: “My love is enough for two.” No, it won't be enough. No, it won't change. At all. It's no use waiting. Everything is simple here - either a person makes contact or not. “Or maybe, what if...” won’t work.

One of two things remains: either accept his shortcomings and live with them, or do not fool each other.

When did the relationship start?

Don't rush into a more serious relationship right away. Let everything flow by itself.
The girl should continue to remain interested in the guy and carefully choose the right words. It is unacceptable to demonstrate complete readiness and sacrifice. A young man should not think that you will do anything for him.
It is important to be honest and open; you should not put pressure on the young man.
Enjoy your relationship with your guy. Appreciate the time spent together.
A girl should always remain attractive in the eyes of a guy. Learn to change. May you have a serious mood today, a cheerful disposition tomorrow, and a shy disposition the day after tomorrow. The main thing is that the young man gets to know his partner from a new perspective every time.
You should not immediately give out all the information about yourself. A girl should be a mystery in the eyes of her lover.
Try to spend leisure time together as often as possible. If a young man invites you to go out into nature or go to the cinema, do not refuse him.
If a guy invites you to take a walk in the park, you need to think about what topics of conversation you can raise. If he asks something, answer briefly so that the young man has additional questions for you. When communicating, act casual and natural. If you notice that the guy is not interested in the topic you are talking about, change it.

How to present yourself correctly at the first meeting

On the first date, young people get to know each other better, they both learn about each other, but without details.

Guys like interesting companions

With a sweet and feminine girl with whom there is nothing to talk about, a man will get bored and try to end the date as soon as possible.

A woman who picks up a topic, maintains a conversation, knows how to joke and responds to jokes is much more attractive than one who can only remain silent and blush.

But it’s better to talk less and listen, but not be boring.

How to dress

“What should a girl wear on a first date?” 69% of men surveyed suggested a skirt or dress. 16% voted for “sexy jeans”.

Guys at the beginning pay attention to the beauty and manifestation of feminine qualities, which are emphasized by individual details of the image. It is also worth paying attention to highlighting hidden but discreet sexuality.

Do not wear a short skirt, too open blouse or cocktail dress on a first date. There is also no place for a strict business suit with short hair and no jewelry. This image will be balanced by “feminine” behavior.

A man will like it if a girl, instead of a business card, writes her phone number on a piece of napkin in girly handwriting. Stiletto heels will interfere with a long walk, and thin tights look ridiculous in winter.

Conclusion: the clothes are fashionable and elegant; suitable size; giving a feeling of comfort and naturalness.

How to put on makeup

A feminine look can easily be ruined by bright lipstick, multi-layered foundation and multi-colored eye shadow. Traces of lipstick left on a glass do not make a girl look good either.

For a first date, moderate makeup is appropriate, highlighting the most attractive facial features. You can increase male interest with an unobtrusive scent of perfume, a French manicure and a neatly styled hairstyle.

Don't rush things

The first date doesn’t decide anything yet, so you shouldn’t consider the guy already a groom and ask about his future plans. The final decision about the next meeting is made by the man.

Moreover, the young man, even after several meetings, is not ready to decide about marriage and future fatherhood. Asking about this at the first meeting looks stupid. The beginning of a love relationship is hidden in play, coquetry, the joy of the new and uncertain.

It doesn’t matter where the first date ends, in bed or not, but even an experienced lover will be scared off by impudent questions about earnings and apartment. Men do not like it when they become candidates for the role of husband without their consent.

A suitable option is to offer to go in for sports or travel together.

Be natural, don't cheat

A girl does not have to reveal the smallest details of her personal life to a guy at the first meeting. The deception and embellishment of one’s own achievements will soon be revealed.

Men tend to sense lies in a conversation, so there is no point in pretending that you have common interests.

Guys like to solve a woman's mystery, so it's better to leave some mystery until the next meeting. And yet – attractive girls with individuality.

Guys don't like argumentative women and "commanders"

A man will leave a powerful and independent woman; he will like a docile and gentle girl, but in moderation. All-knowing and confident ladies who love to argue and defend what seems to them to be the truth are not in honor with men. Such “bosses” will appeal to the “subordinate” type.

No one will like an irritable and sarcastic girl - a bitch with angry and aggressive behavior.

Men are afraid and do not like selfish ladies

A gentleman will run away after the first date if he feels that he is being used as a walking wallet. Although they do voluntary spending on an attractive girl with joy.

Don’t bother with questions and requests after the first date

If a guy likes a girl and needs her, he will call first. Even when he has a lot to do or has lost his phone number, he will find time and a way to talk and meet. A woman is allowed to hint about herself with a non-serious, but memorable message.

Possible mistakes

It is unacceptable to be overly intrusive, to demand from the guy an account of where and with whom he was

If a daughter starts dating a young man, parents worry that the relationship will not traumatize their child. It is important to know what mistakes a girl who has begun close communication with a guy can make.

It is unacceptable to dictate your terms to a young man. In fact, there are ways to unobtrusively push a guy to think about what exactly you want. For example, you shouldn’t say “I want to go to the cinema, not the theater”; it’s better to say that you’d really like to go to some movie that’s being shown in a certain cinema hall, and count on the guy himself to figure out how to take you there. Even if he doesn’t think of it, don’t throw a tantrum.
Don't make the guy wait to meet you. A girl shouldn't be late all the time. It is advisable not to linger at all. Otherwise, the young man will get the impression that you do not take him seriously enough or that you are simply an irresponsible person.
There is no need to be overly intrusive, constantly pester the guy with calls, try to control him, ask where and with whom he spent his time, why he didn’t call or come for so long. Such behavior will only scare away the young man and bring the inevitable separation closer.
There is no need to demand more serious commitments, there is no need to hint at starting a family, or planning the birth of children.
It is unacceptable to treat a young man like a child and pretend to be a caring mother. A girl should not decide what a guy can and cannot eat, what he is allowed to do and how he should not behave, especially in the presence of his friends.

Now you know the answer to the question “if you started dating men, how to behave?” The girl must understand that changes have occurred in her life, and relationships are a big responsibility, especially if she wants to maintain them for as long as possible.

How to behave in a relationship with a guy?

Respect his personal space.

The most exciting moments are over, the relationship has begun, you can freely call yourself his girlfriend. The main thing is not to overdo it. He just offered to be together. He probably doesn’t want his freedom, all his previous plans and dreams to be burned by the victims of a pyromaniac.

Therefore, it is advisable to take it immediately:

old hobbies to which he is accustomed to devote specific time;
usual environment - acquaintances, colleagues, friends;
work , especially if he loves and appreciates it;
harmless habits - petting street dogs or buying lottery tickets, for example;
tastes in clothing , cinema and other areas.

Any attempts to control or wean him will have the opposite effect. Of course, it is possible and even recommended to talk about what you don’t like, but calmly, without “pressure” or moralizing.

The initial stages of an alliance are the study of each other’s habits , interests, and principles at a new, deeper level. The main task of this period is to learn how to correctly combine your “schedules”. It is important to understand what can be done together and what separately, where it is better to compromise, and where to make reasonable sacrifices. This is the “grinding in” stage. It will not be possible to step onto the next step without completing this stage to the end.

React appropriately to his loved ones.

It's about friends and family. And in this regard, many girls exhibit two opposite extremes.

To speak disparagingly and negatively about his family and friends.
Getting hung up on trying to please those around him.

Both views imply negative consequences. In the first case, the girl deeply offends the feelings of the chosen one, rejecting an important part of his life. These people supported the guy, helped him long before his companion appeared on the horizon. Her “fi” alone will not be enough to break such a connection. But it’s quite enough to break up with her.

Obsession “Will his mom like me?” also poisons relationships. However, this is more of a ticking time bomb. A guy may be flattered that his girlfriend:

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remembered his parents' birthdays;
tries to give gifts to his family;
tries to establish contact with a potential mother-in-law;
behaves politely and decently in the family circle;
interested in the health and affairs of his relatives.

However, sometimes the list may not be limited to this. The idea of arousing sympathy from his loved ones becomes a real mania. It is accompanied by importunity, a refusal to notice anything around, except the reaction of the individuals of interest. If a man is not at all sure that he is ready to introduce the girl to his parents, and she insists on this, the situation worsens.

Getting along with his mother is, of course, good. But still, relationships are built with him, and not with his parent. So it is better not to overdo it with attention to his family, forgetting about the beloved himself.

Take the compatibility test

Don't stop flirting.

Even if it came to marriage. Especially in this case. The opposite situation threatens with two side effects.

A man fell in love with a flirtatious cat who constantly stirs up excitement. And on the way out I received an aunt in a dressing gown, with curlers and a face mask made of sour cream and cucumbers. The contrast is too strong to miss.
The lack of change and “evenness” in relationships become boring. Routine begins to kill feelings. Emotions subside and become insipid.

You don't have to always look your best . And even more so, you don’t need to wake up an hour earlier than him to apply “natural” makeup. However, taking care of yourself is a necessity. Filing your nails, keeping your hair, body, clothes clean, being neat is the simplest hygiene. In addition, you can:

arrange pleasant surprises for him not only in the kitchen, but also in bed;
show tenderness and care (without fanaticism);
flirt with him, “make eyes”, flirt;
plan a joint vacation in a new environment;
use unobtrusive tactile contact - run your palm over his chest barely touching, lightly scratch the skin, gently touch his neck with your lips when hugging, for example;
allow him to constantly see the mystery, feel the unpredictability. To do this, develop, study yourself, try yourself in something new.

Take a sexuality test

Solve problems calmly.

Difficulties in relationships are an inevitable reality. All couples have them. Why do some people break up, while others, despite misunderstandings, live happily for years?

It's a matter of resolving conflicts, or rather, it's a matter of methods. Yes, the pipe in the bathroom has been leaking for a whole week now, and he hasn’t done anything. But is it possible to solve this problem with hysteria? Obviously not.

In any problem, the best solution is conversation. It would be good to build it according to the “I don’t like...” scheme:

What exactly? (“...the fact that you don’t want to fix an obvious breakdown...”);
Why? (“…because this is a man’s job. I would like you to do it, since I do women’s duties around the house”);
How does the problem make you feel? (“When you do nothing, it seems to me that you don’t care about our relationship. It hurts me.”);
what is expected? (“Please fix the pipe or call a specialist”);
what will happen if the decision is made? (“I will be very grateful to you, and we will not quarrel anymore about this.”)

The conversation is conducted in a soft, calm tone, it is better to look into the eyes. Once the difficulty has been overcome, it is very important to thank your partner for his actions.

Applications6

This is an alternative to dating sites. Apps for one-time meetings are very popular abroad. They further reduce the time it takes to find a partner, and also show people in your area who are single and want to spend time with someone. The operating principle of such applications is similar to dating sites, but they usually provide less information. You don’t have to worry about the authenticity of the photo, since the phone is automatically linked to the application.

Love by correspondence

Well, now you are already corresponding:

Don’t try to seem like a sophisticated intellectual, especially if you’re not, write what you think.
There is no need to bombard the guy with dozens of SMS and posts. He will get tired of it, and he will not want to communicate with you at all. Actually, this is ordinary correspondence, albeit by electronic means. This means it should be informative and mutual.
Tell the guy about something, ask his advice, thank him, praise him. Now it's his turn.
Why doesn't he write?
Maybe he really is busy. Or he doesn’t know what to write to you. You can take the initiative two or three times so that he doesn’t have to worry about figuring out what to write to you about. But then let him write it himself at least once.
Don't be intrusive. Still no use. But let's hope this is not your case.

Be careful when dating online

Various dating sites are very popular now, and they will remain so in the near future. This means that you need to become good at understanding the people you interact with online. Always remember that we are talking about the Internet, and here a person can be anyone. Try to get to know the guy well before meeting him in real life. Find him on social media and follow him. If he uses photos other than himself on social networks, you already need to trust him less. Don't meet someone on the first day you meet them online. And if this guy inspires you and seems interesting, then meet him in a public place first just to be on the safe side.

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Chats 3

Some music channels have dating chats. They are created so that people can find each other. For love and just sex. If you are from a big city, it is quite possible to meet a man for one-time meetings there. The only problem is that, apart from the phone number and short information, you know nothing about the person you are going to call. As a result, a call can spoil the insistence, and the man may turn out to be completely different from what he introduced himself to be. When people meet through chats, they usually immediately switch to communicating through instant messengers, which allow them to see the appearance of the interlocutor.

Restaurants 4

Many may have noticed girls sitting alone in expensive restaurants. Usually, they only have a glass of wine on the table, they are wearing a dress with a neckline, and their makeup is in perfect condition. No, for the most part they are not waiting for a late girlfriend or boyfriend, they are waiting for someone to sit next to them. This method of dating will help you not only find a man to date, but also get a wealthy one. Many men don't go to expensive restaurants on Friday night to have dinner. They look around and choose girls. Representatives of the stronger sex are not in the mood to find a soul mate and procreate; they just want to find a girl for a good time, perhaps not for one night.

At what age can you date seriously?

Platonic, friendly relationships can and even should be started at an early age. This way you will get used to communicating with the opposite sex. But society has an extremely negative attitude towards romance and intimacy at the age of 12-14. Those around them are rightly afraid of rape and accidental pregnancy. Parents are worried about their daughter, afraid of public condemnation and the appearance of early grandchildren.

Before you say that this will never happen to you, think about how much you trust your chosen one. Observe the boy’s behavior, listen to see if he boasts about his relationship to his friends. The age difference should also be taken into account. If the guy is 5 years older and has reached or almost reached adulthood, think about whether a romance without sexual intercourse will satisfy him.

Another important factor that argues against early connection is psychological immaturity with an increased desire for independence.

Now you think that you know better than adults how to build your own life. Be rude and argue with your parents, proving your personal worth and defending your rights. But after a couple of months or years, it may turn out that the feeling of being in love was wrong. Physical intimacy with spiritual immaturity often leads to psychological trauma, including the inability to communicate normally with the opposite sex.

The parents of their daughter, having learned about dating a guy, should not immediately panic and impose restrictions.

The situation cannot be changed by being categorical. The girl will only isolate herself from her family or withdraw into herself. Talk openly with your daughter, explaining the possible consequences of an early relationship. You should not exaggerate, focusing on public opinion. Remember, most often those around you rely on their own experience or retell other people’s gossip

Clubs and parties i

These are probably the places that first come to mind when thinking about dating without obligations. Indeed, a very small percentage of people come to the club hoping to find the love of their life. Usually everything is much more trivial. In clubs they have fun, drink and look for easy sex. There are a dime a dozen men there who are ready to spend time with a pretty girl. This method of meeting someone for one-time meetings is more suitable for girls under 35 years old, since meeting an adult man on the dance floor is quite problematic.

This option is unlikely to be suitable if you are looking for a permanent sex partner. Guys who are up for a fun night out aren't always thinking about long-term, no-strings-attached relationships.

Love without loss: How to avoid mistakes at the beginning of a relationship