When you first got married, your husband looked at you with a loving gaze, gave you flowers, pampered you in every possible way, and burned with passion.
But a certain number of years have passed and everything has changed. Now he perceives you as something familiar, ordinary, not worthy of special attention.
Of course, no woman wants to put up with this state of affairs. In addition, any wise lady understands that by allowing herself to be treated as a piece of furniture, it is quite possible to wait for her husband to go on a spree and even for him to leave the family.
What to do?
Think about how to attract your husband’s attention so that he again begins to look at you with loving eyes and value his wife.
The ways to do this, by the way, are not so tricky, so any intelligent woman can do it.
Go to a bar
This technique is considered banal, but for some reason many couples ignore it. Alcohol, a cozy place and intimate conversations are the best way to get closer to your partner.
Photo: Pixabay
No matter how strange it may sound, spouses rarely have heart-to-heart conversations and share their emotions.
To bring back romance and understanding, all you have to do is visit a bar and truly relax. Even if there are small children in the family, this step should definitely be taken.
How to attract your spouse
How to survive your husband's betrayal - advice from a psychologist after your partner cheats
If you look at the wife through the eyes of her husband, it is clear where the cooling comes from. Before the wedding, a man perceives his chosen one as a likely prey, trying to win her favor. A woman does the same, trying to lure and interest the desired person. After marriage for both, the partner goes into the category of “earned”, not requiring attraction.
Couple of unkempt people
Answering the question of how to make your husband fall in love with you again, one cannot help but conclude: you need to start with yourself. It is stupid to demand passion from your spouse without making any effort for it.
You need to take time for yourself
Healthy selfishness in relationships greatly helps to establish understanding between partners. As a rule, many women sacrifice themselves or devote most of their time to everyday life. As a result, a man sees a woman next to him who only cleans, washes and cooks.
The situation needs to be corrected, so every woman should take care of herself. For example, you can visit beauty salons more often, sign up for dancing, or start going to the gym. You need to take care of yourself and show the man that you have interesting and useful interests.
How to make your husband fall in love with you again. 8 steps that any woman can do
After several years of marriage, romantic dates, kisses and hugs, as a rule, are replaced by habit. Psychologist Elena Tsedova told AiF.ru how to bring back the “taste” of a relationship and help your husband see you as an attractive woman again
1. Praise your man
Learn to express gratitude to your spouse. Any man wants recognition from his woman, wants to hear: “What a great guy you are. I am proud of you!". There is no need to compare him with others. Your loved one should read the information every day that you have chosen the best man in the world - him.
The spouse simply must provide such emotional support, then she will receive attention in return. The exchange of energies and feelings begins with us, dear women. When a wife does not give her husband joy, happiness, delight, he automatically stops giving her emotions in return. Remember once and for all that the primary source is a woman. If you want to have gifts, flowers, kisses, hugs - pay attention to the man. Never lower the degree of importance of your chosen one.
Looking for the middle. Why do women need feelings, and men need bed?
Read about it
2. Remember the past
A thing called “ours” helps to renew old emotions. All people who have been married for some amount of time definitely have something “ours”: our restaurant, our movie, etc. “Ours” are the moments that unite spouses and which only two people know about. The more such things you remember (visit), the better. Just please don’t confuse “ours” with the first store you walked through together for 8 hours looking for wallpaper. You need to remember pleasant things that gave you good emotions. You drive past a stop under which you once stood and kissed in your youth, remind your husband of this: “Do you remember...”. At this moment, memories may arise in a man of how good he felt then, and he will transfer them to real life.
In the evening, you can watch some movie from the “ours” category and smoothly transfer it from such a pleasant emotion to sex. For many couples, intimacy turns into marital duty. It is not right. It’s good when intimacy occurs on an emotional high. But, of course, you shouldn’t overuse it and use “your movies and places” tricks every day for good sex.
3. Take care of yourself
It's no secret that a man's appearance is very important to him. Looking at her, he understands how the woman treats him. Often wives (especially those with many years of experience) walk around the house in some stretchy clothes, terrible dressing gowns, etc. But when the same woman needs to go out, she spends half a day choosing a wardrobe, doing her hair and preening. A man understands this situation in his own way: for me, she puts on a stretched T-shirt, and for someone else, she dresses like a beauty queen.
Why does a man have a mistress and how to avoid it? Psychologist's advice
Read about it
Question answer
Woman or maid? 5 secrets of survival in the “home cage” There are two simple rules regarding home clothes. First: you can look sexy at home (short robes, light T-shirts and shorts) if the couple lives alone and the situation allows it. Second: the clothes should be such that you could go outside in them right now (purely hypothetically) and you wouldn’t be ashamed. No one says that you need to walk around the apartment wearing makeup, hair, and a dress with a train. No, you just have to look nice and neat. There is no need to wrap any “dulls” of dirty hair around your head. Make a braid, a ponytail. You need to let your man know that you take care of yourself and are doing this for him.
Speaking about appearance, of course, one cannot fail to mention a woman’s weight, which often begins to increase immediately after the wedding. It has been proven that men do not see excess weight if it does not exceed 7 kilograms. If the number is higher, then your husband will notice your new (not always appetizing) forms. Pulling leopard-print underwear onto your 90-kilogram body will not change anything. You will not become attractive to your loved one. So take care of yourself. And under no circumstances should you say or even think along the lines of: “Yes, I weigh 200 kilograms, but my husband weighs even more.” You need to start with yourself, and then, you see, your spouse will catch up.
4. Take a break from children and relatives
You need to take a break from children, close relatives, pets, etc. It is simply impossible to fall in love with your wife again against the backdrop of a large family. People should spend time together and communicate on topics that concern them both, without affecting everything in the world.
And you also need to be able to properly take a break from each other! There is such a thing as “30 minutes of silence.” My husband came, he was tired and didn’t want to talk. No need to touch him. When a man is stressed, he is silent, unlike a woman, first he needs to think. Leave him alone. You can also do your business in different rooms. Such rest is also needed, because people get tired of each other.
Iphigenia syndrome. Should a woman sacrifice herself?
Read about it
5. Take initiative
Many men think that they are loved when they have sex with them. Moreover, in the case when a woman herself invites her husband for intimacy, she takes the initiative. This is very important for representatives of the stronger sex. And then draw your own conclusions...
6. Break up for a while
Separating for a while is a very dangerous thing, although in some cases it is effective, because it is at this moment that a man may (or may not) realize that his wife is really important to him. You should not take such a step at the moment of complete collapse of the relationship, since the man will survive the week, and by the second he will understand how good he is without you. And this means only one thing - divorce. If a wife constantly forbids her loved one everything, then it will be very good for him alone: if he wants, he drinks beer with friends, watches football, etc. And you can always order food, so he won’t grieve for long. Separating for a while will play a cruel joke on you if there is even a fraction of a doubt that your husband will be better off without you than with you.
Dialogue always helps. Advice from a psychologist for those who want to save their family
Read about it
7. Go somewhere new
Oddly enough, vacationing together, rather than separately, as many experts advise, helps renew relationships. A man’s brain is designed in such a way that in another territory he wants his woman much more than in his usual environment. At the same time, it is better to spend a joint vacation not at your favorite dacha (place, hotel). It’s better to change the country, the hotel - everything is radical! This excites a man.
Another important point. The new environment will only be useful if you relax yourself and let your man do it. Vacations should take place in an atmosphere of absolute relaxation. There is no need to discuss children, problems, work and other “pleasant” topics. And when you return home, it’s better not to plunge into the “all the hard stuff” of everyday life from the first day, but to try to prolong the pleasant aftertaste of your vacation.
In the point about rest, I would like to mention such a thing as the ability to leave your comfort zone, it can also be useful. Let's say you're used to going on vacation to five-star hotels, then it's time to think about hiking. There must be something that will “knock” you out of your usual life. You can choose kayaking or a trip to the mountains; overcoming difficulties together brings people together even more.
8. Fight the everyday
Change the concept of dating. Have you been dining by candlelight for ten years? Say goodbye to this habit. For example, prepare sandwiches and go for a picnic in the forest in the morning, exchange a romantic dinner for a romantic breakfast. What doesn’t excite you doesn’t give you new emotions - you need to change it!
Ask 30 questions
In relationships, misunderstandings often arise between partners, which results in conflicts.
You can correct the situation by simply asking interesting questions to your husband. Of course, a man should be prepared for questions in advance, and he should take them seriously.
Ideally, a man will make his own list of questions. There should be a conversation through which partners learn better about goals, desires and preferences.
Many will be surprised, but even if the marriage is more than 20 years old, 30 questions will allow you to learn new things.
What psychologists say
A psychologist can help the couple: give advice on how to re-interest the husband and re-attract his attention. The most important thing is to work on overcoming difficulties. I want love to be eternal and simple, to fall in love once and for life. Without recharge, nothing will live forever. It is important that even during periods of exacerbation, partners remain ready to hear each other and engage in dialogue.
Conversation between spouses
You shouldn’t console yourself with the thought that next time everything will definitely be easier. Crises occur in all respects. As psychological practice shows, many times divorced people do not know how to talk constructively - the same problem haunts them in all marriages.
You should work on yourself, make concessions, realize that the person himself is responsible for his own life. With this condition, you need to build relationships so that they are for the benefit of both partners and help them fall in love again.
Which saints should I contact?
The Lord hears the prayers of people, not only addressed to him, but also to his saints. They intercede with the Almighty for the believers.
Matrona of Moscow
This is an effective method to restore harmonious relationships.
Peter and Fevronia
Icon of St. Peter and Fevronia The sacred text will enlighten the husband. His actions will become more deliberate. The main thing is that the wife sincerely believes in the power of prayer words. It may take a long time to get results, because strengthening a family is a long process. It is worth showing patience in this case.
Trust him
Unreasonable jealousy is the worst thing you can do to a relationship. Men have this principle: if I am accused of something, then I must do it so that they are not accused in vain and it is not so offensive.
Do not provoke your chosen one to take sides, do not be jealous of him for every pillar, trust him completely. And then your lover will pay attention only to you and he will not have thoughts of cheating. And if you are sure that he did go over to the side, and this is true, then think carefully about whether you need him after this.
Spell on a thing
In addition to prayers, there are also white magic conspiracies that will help improve relations between spouses.
This thing will allow you to rekindle your feelings more, it will make your partner think about you, not cheat, call and yearn when you are apart. This plot is applicable for both husband and wife.
We invite you to familiarize yourself with Grandmother's conspiracies - Prostatitis
The item for which the prayer will be read can be anything, but it is better to choose something that was in close contact with this person - a comb, a scarf, a ring or chain, a toothbrush, etc.
Here is another conspiracy, so that the husband loves his wife more than life, wants her and is always there.
In addition to prayers, there are also white magic conspiracies that will help improve relationships between spouses.
This spell on a thing will allow you to rekindle your feelings more strongly, it will make your partner think about you, not cheat, call and yearn in separation. This plot is applicable for both husband and wife.
The item for which the prayer will be read can be anything, but it is better to choose something that was in close contact with this person - a comb, a scarf, a ring or chain, a toothbrush, and more.
Arrange surprises, amaze
Over the months or even years of living with you, your spouse has formed a certain opinion about you: you are boring, boring, only think about the child, strict or unromantic. Why the negative opinion? But because we remember bad deeds better than good ones.
Surprise your chosen one, give him a romantic surprise with a pleasant continuation in bed, give him what he has long wanted for himself (and not what he needs, as you think) - a new fishing rod or a radio-controlled car.
Invite him to an extreme attraction, offer to go on a hike together, show a desire to try fishing. Show that you are not boring or boring.
The reason has been found - act!
If you find the reason, then first of all, deal with it:
- Play sports;
- Change your wardrobe;
- Start doing makeup at home (light, natural);
- Take care of your hair (style it, tidy it up even at home);
- Watch your behavior (don’t swear, clean up after yourself, carry out all hygiene procedures behind the closed bathroom door).
The cause has been eliminated, but what now? If you want to speed up the effect, act like a psychologist. What does psychology advise us?