How to get your husband to work: instructions, advice from a psychologist

Material wealth plays an important role in family life. Nowadays, both husband and wife are forced to both work to feed their family. But even this kind of income may not be enough, then the head of the family has to look for part-time work. There are often situations when a man does not have a job, the reasons may be different, then the wife has to work hard or rack her brains on how to get her husband to work. There are several methods, some of which you can implement yourself.

There are times when a man does not want or cannot work

Why my husband doesn’t work: objective reasons

How to force your husband to work and earn money if he does not want to do this? First, let's try to find out the reason why a man refuses to take on financial obligations. They can be both objective and subjective. What reasons can be called a truly serious obstacle to ambition?

Low percentage of vacancies in the labor market.
Serious health problems.
Depression and temporary personality crisis.
A recent tragedy has forced the lover to give up looking for work.
The presence of serious contraindications to physical labor.

As you can see, there are no objective reasons for staying at home for a long time. In what cases should a woman sound the alarm? If a man cannot find a job for a long time and does not even try to earn money through various hacks, this is a sure sign of an imminent crisis.

If your significant other constantly goes to interviews and studies vacancies, you should not panic. Sometimes, to find your dream profession you have to wait a little. For some people, the search for a job drags on for a couple of months, and during such periods a woman will have to provide a man not only material, but also moral assistance.

It is important to see that a person is in search and wants to benefit the family. If there is no such feeling, then we are most likely talking about the subjective reasons for male laziness.

Classification of parasites

Before we talk about how to push a man to make money, you should understand what type of slacker he is.

Unsociable

In other words, a misanthrope. Such a person cannot work in a team because he does not get along with his colleagues. Everyone annoys him and drives him crazy. The reason for this behavior may be psychological trauma. The husband feels uncomfortable in the office, is nervous and uncomfortable when surrounded by colleagues, because he suffered a negative experience of being treated in a team. Perhaps he is an introvert and simply does not like to let new people into his personal space. Misanthropes do not try to hide their hostility towards their colleagues; conflicts are not uncommon in teams. Subconsciously, a man begins to want to be fired, or leaves work himself, unable to bear the pressure on his psyche.

Romantic

Melancholic, sentimental type. Painfully experiences all the squabbles and failures in the work sphere. He tries to make friends with colleagues, but finds no response, blames himself and shuts down. Reacts negatively to comments from his superiors, is offended, and beats himself up. Professionalism and quality of work often suffers as a result. Does not stay in one place for several years, or does not strive for career growth. He is not interested in prospects. Approaches the service with the attitude: “I won’t succeed anyway.”

Mom's son

A child at heart, accustomed to breakfast in bed and all-inclusive service. He believes that everyone around him owes him. When getting married, he expects his wife to replace his mother. Why do men grow up so helpless? As children, they are heavily patronized and not given the opportunity to show independence. The man is not ready for a free life. He doesn't know how to turn on the washing machine and fry potatoes. It happens that parents indulge their little capricious child in everything. Such boys grow up to be mama's boys. They believe that they were created for something more than making money. They are satisfied with the position of the kept man, the gigolo. The situation is aggravated by the fact that parents help the young family financially.

Ostrozhny

Lives by the principle: “Measure twice, cut once.” Afraid to take initiative. He occupies one position for years without striving for career growth. If fired, he prefers to sit at home and refuses to go to interviews. The reason for the behavior lies in the method of education. Such boys grow up in families where they often hear the phrase: “Why? Is it dangerous!" The child is constantly scolded, and when good results are achieved, they forget to praise. In such an environment, unambitious, amoebic individuals grow up.

Narcissus

The self-confident handsome man considers himself a high-class professional. He does not intend to “spray himself” on small, “non-monetary” work that brings in a modest income. I am sure that I deserve only the best, for example, to immediately become CEO. Often fails to cope with functionality and loses his job, but blames management. Doesn't know how to soberly assess his skills. He believes that everyone around him is jealous of him and does not appreciate his potential. He may lie on the couch or sit at the computer for years, waiting for a suitable position, while his wife solves financial problems.

narcissists usually overestimate their capabilities and remain inactive, waiting for the weather by the sea (in fact, it is impossible to get to a high position right away, you first need to earn authority and climb the ladder)

Why my husband doesn’t work: subjective reasons

Representatives of the fairer sex encounter this problem much more often. Still, if a man is really looking, sooner or later he will find a suitable vacancy. The same person who simply does not want to work will come up with a whole series of subjective reasons for his laziness. Here are just the main ones:

low level of wages, which does not suit the man;
reluctance to work under someone else's leadership, to serve someone;
creative search for oneself;
the desire to get everything at once, that is, a boss position with a huge salary without experience in the chosen field;
the desire to do something that brings pleasure, but not money;
lack of work ambitions.

It’s worth saying right away that a hack is capable of coming up with a thousand excuses for his laziness. He may claim that he is offended by his boss's attitude, that he is not valued in any job, and that his talents are not fully developed. However, all these are just excuses, not reasons for hackwork.

A decent man who has been unemployed for a long time will go to work in a low-paid job just to bring home at least some money. At the same time, he will continue to look for more suitable vacancies.

But the hack will want to continue to sit at home, talking about how he cannot be appreciated.

My friend's story

I want to share with you the story of my friend Nastya, who knows firsthand how to motivate a man to earn more.

This is not a separate, isolated incident from her life. This is a whole system of views, a lifestyle and a way of thinking.

Nastya never worked. She never worked a single day in her life, can you imagine?

And all because her husband provides for her.

Does this mean that Nastya does nothing about it? Not at all! In fact, she works constantly. Above what? To ensure that my husband earns even more!

You ask - how? How does she manage to motivate her husband to earn even more?

I will tell you what it does and give advice on what exactly you need to do to improve your family’s financial situation.

Read this article to the end and start applying what you have learned today.

Laziness, as a principled position and advice from a psychologist on this matter

It is laziness that for the most part makes men slack. Still, it’s much easier to lie on the couch and watch TV than to improve in a certain area.

Of course, dealing with such a character trait is not at all easy, but psychologists still give some advice on this matter. How can you overcome male laziness and send your lover to work?

A man should be loaded with homework so that sitting on his wife’s neck does not seem like heaven to him.
A man should be constantly reminded that it is a woman who brings money into the house, hurting his pride.
It is also recommended to gradually reduce the budget allocated to a man for his daily expenses.
You can persuade mutual friends to make fun of a man over and over again because a woman provides for him.

The psychological moment is very important. A man must feel inferior because he does not have a job. However, you cannot go too far, otherwise you can destroy the relationship. A representative of the stronger sex should feel guilty for staying at home for a long time, but his self-esteem should not be completely destroyed.

You can also involve relatives and friends in the matter, who in a humorous format should hint to the man about the need to look for work.

Psychologists advise regularly communicating with a man, finding out what he wants from life. If your partner has a goal, a dream, then everything is not so bad. Sooner or later, such a person will find an area in which he can realize himself. But if a person is not interested in anything and does not know what he wants to do, he will always have problems with work.

If he also drinks

The first thing you need to understand is that alcoholism is a real disease . And until your husband can handle it, it will be very difficult to change anything else. First you need to deal with addiction, and this is not an easy path.
People usually . Drinking becomes a way to escape from the unsightly reality where a man is unable to find a job, please his family, or be successful. However, do not rush to blame yourself for this. Yes, you may not have been able to properly support your husband at the right time. But his weak character is a completely different topic.
Understand you will not be able to force your husband to stop drinking if he is satisfied with the role of an alcoholic. The man is not stupid and understands perfectly well what is happening to him, he just doesn’t consider it necessary to change anything - it’s so convenient for him.
IMPORTANT! You are not omnipotent and do not have to be responsible for an adult. You should offer help, but nothing more.
Don't be afraid to leave an alcoholic. Why endure constant negative emotions? If your spouse is truly dragging you down, just find the strength to end your marriage and start over with a clean slate. It won't be easy, but you can do it!

How to get your husband to work and earn money: finding the right approach

If a man’s laziness knows no bounds, and a woman is tired of enduring this trash, she needs to take active action. However, you need to put pressure on your significant other wisely, taking into account the characteristics of your partner’s character. Here are just a few methods of influence:

if a man has ambitions, it is necessary to jokingly regularly emphasize that it is the girl who provides for the family, that she brings the bulk of the income to the house;
if the partner is very proud, then influence the man through friends and acquaintances;
a passive man should be helped in searching for vacancies, selected for him in his free time, and helped to call employers;
If a man has some kind of dream, for example, traveling abroad, it is worth constantly reminding him of it in order to spur his lover’s desire to reach his goal.

You can force a man to work in a radical way: quit yourself. If a woman loses her job, the family will still need money to pay expenses. In such a situation, the man will be forced to go to work. However, this drastic technique is not for everyone.

It is much more rational to constantly put pressure on your partner’s ambitions, to emphasize that he needs to move forward, achieve something, and take action. A man must understand that while he stands still, there will be no talk of any achievements or public respect.

Once a partner gets a job, it is important to support him in the first days of service. It is worth sympathizing with a tired man, emphasizing that he is changing his life for the better. Feeling the support of your other half, it will be easier for your partner to work.

How to help your husband find a job

Psychologists emphasize that it is possible to persuade a man to go to work, but he will do it without desire, as if under pressure. That is why at the job search stage you cannot do everything for your partner. If a woman finds a job, calls herself and goes with her husband for an interview, it won’t do any good. A man himself must want to not just work, but work for a promotion.

What kind of help to your partner in finding a job will be correct in terms of long-term results?

It is necessary to sort out his life with a man, piece by piece. You need to understand what a person wants, what he strives for.
It is necessary to constantly awaken ambitions in a man, pointing to stars or acquaintances who have achieved incredible heights at the same age.
You should regularly show a man supposedly randomly found vacancies, but do not insist on them.
You should discuss with your friends whether anyone at work has any vacancies with prospects.
You should praise a man after every interview, even if it was unsuccessful.

Men need praise, and they always feel the sincerity of a woman's attitude. If a lady sends her lover all the vacancies in a row, without thinking about his wishes, this will not lead to anything good. Moreover, going to unnecessary interviews will only delay your job search.

It is also recommended to support your partner in everything. If he doesn’t get a call from the interview, he should not give up and start looking for a new job. During this period, not only the girl’s activity is important, but also her sincere support. If a lady worries about a man’s work as if it were her own, he will definitely find his dream job.

Feminine energy to inspire a man

Undoubtedly, long absence from work is a great stress for a man. Representatives of the fairer sex are taught from childhood that they should be stronger and more successful than their women. However, in modern families, sometimes the situation is different.

It is important here that the woman charges the man with her psychological energy. She must show with all her appearance that work will be found if you look for it. A lady should be ambitious, active, and genuinely enjoy her work. A man will see that a woman comes home from work satisfied and will definitely want to immerse herself in the world of work.

If all the woman’s efforts are in vain, and the man is still sitting without work, you should think about his diligence. It is quite possible that the partner simply does not want to work, and this cannot be done without a serious conversation. A representative of the stronger sex must understand that a family is a machine powered by the energy of both partners, and if this balance is upset, the ship of love can easily fail.

Marina, Rostov-on-Don

The results will not keep you waiting

Now you have incredibly useful information.

Record these tips and write them down so you don’t lose them.

Start applying this knowledge today and you will see for yourself how simple and easy everything works.

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