Surely each of us has had to face shoulder to shoulder with psychological problems. Every person has periods when he becomes indifferent to everything, does not strive for anything, does not have the slightest desire to do anything. Psychologists call this state of deep indifference apathy. “I don’t want to communicate with anyone,” this phrase can often be heard from a person suffering from this psychotic disorder. What are the causes of apathy, how to recognize it and what advice do psychologists give to cope with this problem?
How dangerous is apathy and what could be the consequences?
One of the forms of the protective reaction of the psyche to stressful situations, lack of sleep, emotional distress, physical or moral exhaustion can be indifference not only to everything around us and what is happening, but also to oneself. This depressed state is characterized by a general loss of strength, so staying in it for a long time is dangerous not only for a person’s mental, but also physical health. With apathy, the risk of “paralysis” of the personality increases: due to focusing exclusively on one’s own problems, the patient ceases to find positive aspects in various situations and ceases to see the beauty of the outside world.
A person suffering from apathy has no desire to communicate with people. It is quite difficult to cope with this type of disorder on your own. The patient will need enormous willpower, dedication and determination. With this problem, most patients turn to psychotherapists. In complicated cases, the patient can completely withdraw from society and fall out of the real world. Apathy is often accompanied by depression, and in the absence of treatment, the most dangerous scenario for the development of these disorders is often a person’s attempts to take his own life, which seems worthless and useless to him.
To understand the reasons why there is no desire to communicate, you need to delve into your subconscious and find there a reflection of specific events in your personal or public life that could cause serious damage to the patient’s psyche. The symptoms of this pathology cannot be confused with a bad mood, which is temporary. When looking at a person with apathy, there is always a feeling as if he does not hear or notice anything around him.
If the patient declares: “I don’t want any communication!”, drastic measures must be taken urgently. Apathy is amenable to medication and psychotherapeutic correction, but every step in the treatment of this condition must be competent and clearly weighed.
The main causes of spiritual emptiness
Like any other disease, the appearance of this disorder was preceded by certain factors. Indifference itself cannot arise out of nowhere, without any reason. Most often, apathy, due to which a person does not want to communicate with anyone, is a consequence of harsh self-criticism and dissatisfaction with oneself, which leads to a refusal to implement important plans.
The actual reasons for the appearance of an indifferent state include stress and emotional turmoil. Progressive apathy is accompanied by laziness, lack of emotions and even neglect of appearance and hygiene. Often, people with mental apathy have untidy and very dirty homes.
Reasons for reluctance to communicate
Even if you are an open, friendly person, there may always come a time when you do not want to communicate. It may take a couple of hours, a day, a week to restore strength; For some, even a month is not enough.
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The reasons for such a desire usually lie on the surface:
- Normal fatigue. At work, you talk and interact with colleagues. At home - with family. In your free time, there will always be acquaintances who want to gossip or chat. Sometimes you need a break from all this.
- The desire to communicate disappears during illness. Every action at this time causes tension, and those around you, even if they understand that you feel bad, expect a smile and an optimistic attitude from you.
- A person can withdraw into himself when faced with financial problems. Until you feel confident again, you are unlikely to be able to chat flirtatiously about drinking coffee at a trendy coffee shop or going to the gym. It is also unlikely that there will be a desire to be with people in general.
- Problems in the family - you hardly want to talk to someone if your husband comes home drunk, your child gets only bad marks, and your mother constantly nags you.
But there are also more serious reasons for reluctance to communicate - apathy, despondency, depression. A severe mental condition can develop due to lack of work, long-term illness, addiction, acts of domestic violence, and tragic situations.
What is social phobia?
Tragic events
It happens that strong shocks occur in our lives. The death of loved ones or relatives, betrayal of a loved one or separation from him, serious injuries and disabilities - all this affects the emotional state. Any incidents that can affect the way of life deprive you of strength and force you to give up.
Apathy and a feeling of helplessness fetter a person in all spheres of his life. To accept what happened and come to your senses, a lot of time must pass after experiencing grief.
Emotional tension
A series of stressful situations experienced will not benefit anyone. Almost always, a person becomes indifferent as a result of prolonged psycho-emotional stress, which leads to exhaustion of the nervous system. At risk are people who endlessly doubt themselves, are in depressing feelings, and are worried. Without noticing it, the patient plunges into a depressed state. If he says: “I don’t want to communicate with people!”, most likely, his apathy has reached a critical point.
The turning point in the course of this mental illness is the stage during which the personality is destroyed. Experiencing negative emotions for a long time, a person subconsciously gets used to them. The result is complete dissatisfaction with life and hopelessness. A once confident person now no longer believes in himself and only focuses on problems.
What is a social block
Experienced psychological consultant Grace McMahon defined the state of social block as a reluctance to go out into society and lead a normal lifestyle. This phenomenon has become familiar to us after the isolation. It cannot be said that the reluctance to return to the previous image gripped everyone. However, there are also those people who are so accustomed to their loneliness that they are simply afraid to start communication. Over time, skills disappear, and it is not surprising that the fear of appearing different from what people are used to seeing you appears.
Physical and mental exhaustion
Excessive workloads and lack of pleasure from work often lead to loss of vitality and deep fatigue. Working hard, every person unconsciously wants to receive in return something that will bring him moral satisfaction. If a business in which you had to invest a lot of energy and labor ultimately does not live up to expectations, after physical exhaustion comes moral exhaustion.
“I don’t want to communicate with friends, go to work and think about the future” - this is a typical behavior pattern for patients with apathy. The duration of treatment depends on the person. Therapy will be long and exhausting if he cannot find a suitable stimulus.
Fatigue is the main enemy of a good mood, positive thoughts and self-confidence. If it becomes chronic, burnout is inevitable. Apathy does not occur where there are no compelling reasons for it, so it is extremely important for people prone to psychotic disorders to avoid stressful situations, not allow themselves to get involved in conflicts and emotional distress.
Life changes
It was unusual for us to get used to a new way of life. Therefore, we tried our best to cope with the situation when nothing is possible and restrictions are everywhere. Many experienced this time very hard, but in the end everyone managed to get used to the new rules. When the opportunity arises to go to a fun party again, sit with friends in a cafe, go to the theater or concert, you need to get used to it again. That is, returning to communication turned out to be the same enormous change that you need to get used to. In addition, many people have found remote jobs and rearranged their schedules to be at home all the time. This also affected some children who were reluctant to return to school.
When self-criticism is not beneficial
Usually, close relatives and family members realize that a person needs the help of specialists. More and more often they hear from him that, they say, I’m tired of everything, nothing makes any sense, I don’t even want to communicate with friends and acquaintances. What to do in this situation?
An apathetic disorder could well lead to fantastic expectations. For example, a person has just started doing what he loves, but at the same time he immediately wanted to get high income. Thus, he places too stringent demands on himself and even deprives himself of the right to make mistakes.
But it is known that success can only be achieved through persistent efforts and trial and error. Anyone can make a mistake by making the wrong decision, but only for a psychologically stable person, wrong steps are a reason to try again or try something else. People prone to apathy perceive their own failures as real drama. Perfectionists often suffer from this disorder. They are too self-critical of personal achievements, considering them small and insignificant. This is what prevents a person from feeling completely happy and achieving their goals.
Psychological dependence
This is one of the reasons why a person refuses to fight the problem and generally make contact with anyone. The phrase “I don’t want to communicate with people” in psychology can be perceived as a consequence of addictive behavior. Addiction is an obsessive need to perform certain actions. This term is often used not only to define drug, drug, alcohol or gambling addiction.
When talking about addiction, psychologists mean a condition in which a person loses his individuality, ceases to control himself, and has no respect for himself and others.
You can understand that apathy was provoked by addiction by the patient’s behavior and his attitude towards others. All thoughts and desires of an addicted person are aimed only at satisfying their needs (take drugs, smoke a cigarette, see the object of their desire, etc.). A person with an addictive disorder is not able to manage his own life and take responsibility for what is happening.
Lend a hand
If you are really close to your friends, then in any conflict you need to be the first to extend your hand to them. You can't throw away your friends. I am always ready to help my friends, just as they certainly come to my aid - leaving their families, worries and affairs. I have a very reverent attitude towards my friends; all these people are extremely dear to me. Yes, there were conflicts between us, there were misunderstandings, but we cooled down, discussed the current situation, found common ground - and continued to be friends. Friendship is a great gift and should certainly be appreciated.
If there is a conflict with a friend, there is only one recipe: talk. If it doesn’t want to, you need to give it time to cool. You should never try to make peace based on emotions; it is important to calm down. The moment will come when you will cross each other anyway, and then a conversation cannot be avoided. It happens that the problem is not worth a damn, but emotions are so raging that it is not possible to solve it. Over time, the intensity of passions passes, and then you can try to resolve the conflict. Of course, there is no need to impose your point of view. Anyone can flare up, but later the situation must be corrected. I think if a person is valuable to you, you will look for ways to be together with him, continue to be friends and communicate.
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No matter what happens, a Christian must look at his actions and thoughts, and not judge. Maybe, after all, you made a mistake somewhere, offended, did the wrong thing?
Health problems as a cause of apathy
It is quite possible that the cause of the sudden isolation and depressive mood is a serious illness. It is not surprising that a person who feels bad says, “I don’t want to communicate with people.” What to do? In most cases, patients undergoing complex treatment are prescribed antidepressants. With a protracted illness, which makes adjustments to the usual way of life, a person becomes emotionally depressed. An illness can deprive you of the strength to enjoy even pleasant little things.
All the energy and resources of the body are spent exclusively on fighting the disease, therefore, to overcome the feeling of helplessness and raise the spirit, the patient is prescribed antidepressants. These medications help relieve fatigue and help maintain interest in life and doing things you love.
Public lack of demand
Another reason why a person may say: “I don’t want to communicate with anyone!” may be tense relationships among friends, a team, or family. Not wanting to make contact, on a subconscious level he protects himself from non-acceptance of himself by his environment. In psychology, this phenomenon is called “personality dissatisfaction syndrome.” It takes its roots, as a rule, from unsuccessful relationships with management, colleagues, relatives, etc.
If a person often hears critical statements addressed to himself and is forced to be in a state of constant confrontation, sooner or later he ceases to believe in his own rightness, and self-doubt is the first step towards apathy.
How apathy manifests itself: symptoms
“I don’t want to communicate with people” - these depressing and frightening thoughts are familiar to anyone who has encountered apathy. It manifests itself in a very specific way. People who have experienced the hardships of all manifestations of this psychotic disorder know how difficult it is to cope with this problem and learn to find positivity in life again.
A person in a state of apathy has no desire to communicate with people. He practically does not notice what is happening around him, stops thinking even about his usual needs: he forgets to have dinner on time, take a walk in the fresh air, take a shower, refuses to meet with friends, etc. Those around him get the impression that the patient has forgotten how to experience feelings joy and show emotions, it seems that the person has wandered into a dead end and now does not know what to do next, in which direction to take the course.
People suffering from apathy are emotionally indifferent. Most of the time they are in a bad mood, it is impossible to cheer them up, charge them with positive emotions, give them optimism and instill faith in a bright future. If a person does not want to communicate with people, the diagnosis of “apathy” is not made at the first appointment with a specialist. The patient begins to be monitored to determine other symptoms characteristic of this psychotic disorder.
Indifference to everything around you is an absolute sign of apathy. If a person does not cope with his problem over a period of time, a psychotic disorder will begin to affect his overall health. Along with inspiration and vitality, people, for example, lose their appetite. Against the background of emotional depression, the sensitivity of taste and olfactory receptors is suppressed, so even your favorite dishes cease to please. Sometimes patients refuse food altogether.
In any manifestation, apathy forces you to avoid contact with people. “I don’t want communication, I’d rather be alone,” patients say this almost unanimously. It is much easier and more comfortable for a patient to be alone than to spend time with loved ones. Psychologists explain the lack of a sociable mood by saying that people lose moral strength and self-confidence with this diagnosis. A person does not want to communicate with people, because there is simply no energy left for communication. He deliberately minimizes any conversations. Persons in an apathetic state are not able to show initiative and activity when interacting with other people.
Emotional depression not only affects your mood, but also negatively affects your level of performance. Labor productivity drops so much that a person ceases to be confident that he can complete even those tasks that he previously coped with without difficulty. Instead of being cheerful and interested, the patient feels lethargic and drowsy. Makes you feel sleepy even before important meetings, and in your voice you can clearly hear notes of indifference and indifference to what is happening.
Why don’t you want to communicate with anyone, and your favorite activities now don’t bring you pleasure? All patients suffering from apathy come to psychologists with this question. People are also often interested in whether the disorder needs to be treated. Here the answer is obvious: with apathy, every patient needs the help of specialists and the support of those close to them, but to a greater extent, the effectiveness of therapy will depend on whether the person himself realizes that his life is wasted, and he needs urgent treatment.
How to make communication with people more effective
The following rules will help with this:
- Get rid of selfishness . You should think about whether it will be pleasant for others to communicate with a person who always takes the initiative in a conversation, and his manner of communication, in this regard, looks quite aggressive. It would be correct if during the conversation you maintain a friendly tone and allow all participants to speak. People will reach out to such a person for advice, they will always want to see him in any company, and he will have many friends.
- Be a good listener . Sincere interest and the ability to listen to your interlocutor are qualities that will allow you to become a desirable member of society. It is important for people to feel that they are not alone with their problems, and there are those who will listen to you, understand you, and give competent advice.
- Show interest in the subject of conversation . In a conversation, it is important to find common ground. Unfortunately, the topic proposed by the interlocutor is not always interesting for the other person. In this case, you should not show your indifference by all appearances. The effectiveness of such a conversation is zero. You should politely listen to the person and delicately lead him to a topic that will be mutually interesting.
- Avoid negativity towards your interlocutor . Sometimes it seems that only your own opinion is correct, and what others say is absurd. You should not undermine people's trust by proving to them that you are right and ridiculing their theories. It should be remembered that any opinion has the right to exist.
A respectful attitude brings people closer together and makes communication comfortable and enjoyable.
By following these recommendations, you can gradually significantly improve your communication skills. The main thing is not to expect results to appear very quickly, and not to torture yourself with unhealthy criticism.
Which doctor should I contact?
This condition cannot be left to chance. To overcome apathy, you need to step over shame and shyness and turn to a specialist. You can consult a psychologist, a psychiatrist or a psychotherapist.
A psychologist has knowledge in this area and can give basic advice, but this specialist is not competent enough to make a diagnosis and prescribe medication. If the psychologist sees a problem, he refers the patient to a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. It is important to put aside all prejudices and stereotypes, because these specialists are visited not only by mentally ill people, but also by mentally healthy people. In addition, a psychiatrist can treat insomnia, various phobias, epilepsy and other diseases.
If they don't want to talk to you
If you are drawn to communicating with people, but they do not want to communicate with you, then the following tips will help you.
- Be a good listener. In dialogue, it is important not only to speak, but also to listen. If you reduce all your conversations to stories about yourself and don’t listen to your interlocutor, then you will alienate any person.
- Don't complain. Nobody likes a whiner. Look for positive topics to discuss. Forget about your problems and complaints about life, because no one needs negativity.
- Look for common themes. You should not talk about a topic that is not interesting to your interlocutor. But you shouldn’t even try to support a topic that is not interesting to you. To make communication enjoyable for everyone, it is necessary to find common ground.
- Don't criticize. You should not ridicule or criticize the opinions, desires or tastes of another person. Learn to respect other points of view.
Becoming a good conversationalist is not difficult, you just need regular practice.
If you don’t understand why you don’t want to communicate with people as you get older , then don’t worry. For most people, the need for communication decreases with age. At a young age, you often want to have a big company, to constantly be in the spotlight. With age, interests change, and there is a desire to narrow the circle of contacts to close people.
Communication is an integral part of our lives, and if you have problems in this area, then they need to be solved. If you are an introvert, then you shouldn’t break yourself. But, if you want to communicate with people, but are afraid or embarrassed, then you should work on yourself and turn to a specialist.
Practical recommendations from experts
If we analyze the most popular advice from psychologists and psychiatrists regarding the treatment of apathy, we can draw certain conclusions. According to most experts, at the first symptoms of this disorder it is necessary:
- Cope with laziness. By any means you need to force yourself to move. The easiest way is to go to the gym. During training, the patient will involuntarily plunge into a state of languor and relaxation, which will distract from problems and gloomy thoughts.
- Don't stop communicating. “I don’t want to meet or talk to anyone,” perhaps this is how a person suffering from apathy will answer. Most likely, he himself does not know what he is giving up: evening gatherings with an old friend and a bottle of light wine are not such a bad cure for apathy and blues. Of course, if you don't abuse it.
- Get plenty of rest and sleep. Apathy often occurs in people who are constantly in an intense rhythm of life. You need to sleep at least 7-8 hours a day.
- Eat properly. The psychological well-being of each of us largely depends on what we eat. The body must receive all the necessary vitamins and microelements. It is better to give up processed foods and fast food forever.
- Listen to classical music. Scientists have repeatedly proven that the works of great authors can charge you with positive energy and give you an uplifting mood, which is so lacking in apathy.
- Do yoga. If a person has lost the desire to communicate with people and engage in any activity, he can be brought back to life with the help of mantra yoga. The essence of the method is the singing of a sacred text, during which a special vibration background is created that has a positive effect on the psycho-emotional state.
- Get out of your stupor. To end apathy, it is necessary to create a surge of emotions. There is no universal recipe here: one person needs extreme sports, even skydiving, while for another, watching their favorite comedy movie or energetic dancing may be enough.
- Stop regularly reading or watching the news. Often the media present information that causes irritation, fear, disappointment, envy, anger and other depressing emotions. Tragic news, shocking talk shows, and television programs about diseases can leave a negative imprint on the subconscious.
- Learn to manage your apathy. It’s better to overcome yourself and start reading literature about psychological problems than to mope and suffer from idleness.
If the patient has no desire to communicate with anyone, this does not mean that he is not inclined to emotional empathy. Each of us, to a greater or lesser extent, can support another person. Therefore, those who suffer from apathy need to communicate more with energetic and cheerful people.
Apathy and exercise
Lack of desire to communicate and indifference to one’s own life are clear signs of a psychotic disorder. But like any other disease, it is much easier to cope with it at the first symptoms. A patient who follows the above recommendations has no chance of losing the fight, but, one way or another, serious willpower will be required. The main thing is not to get hung up on a depressed state. It is most correct to perceive apathy as a short-term phenomenon, a kind of time-out for rest and respite from the busy rhythm of life.
Many psychotherapists are sure that a person who has lost the desire to communicate with people has problems with physical health and poor health. It is no coincidence that the term “mental health”, which means mental balance and well-being. “A healthy mind in a healthy body” - this saying has been familiar to all of us since childhood, so the best prevention of any psychological problems is maintaining optimal physical shape.
Exercising in the morning or light workout in the gym is one of the recipes for improving the condition of the nervous system. A couple of months of constant exercise is enough to see how your mood stabilizes and the desire to live and do what you love appears again. It doesn’t matter at all which sport the patient likes best - cycling or race walking, swimming or weightlifting - the main thing is to get the much-needed emotions and again feel an interest in satisfying your own desires.
Hobby as a way to get out of apathy
When asking yourself: “Why don’t I want to communicate with people?”, you need to first of all pay attention to your sense of self and try to figure out what generally brings joy, a feeling of deep moral satisfaction. By doing something that gives real pleasure, a person blossoms, expands his potential capabilities and paths for self-realization.
Each of us has certain abilities, has an inclination towards one or another type of activity, and our favorite hobby always inspires, charges us with vital energy and gives optimism. Therefore, a hobby can be considered a full-fledged way to combat apathy.
Signs that indicate a closed person
The first thing that comes to mind is that a person communicates little with others or completely avoids communication.
There are other characteristic signs of a closed personality, such as an insecure, quiet voice, shyness, excessive seriousness or even strictness in behavior.
A closed person will never act as an initiator or leader in a team. Most often, he is passive and takes low positions so as not to attract unnecessary attention from others to his person.
Physical signs also give away a shy person: hands in pockets, closed body postures, eyes most often lowered to the floor. A closed person tries not to look into the eyes of his interlocutor during a dialogue.
