The brutal truth or the white lie: is it always necessary to tell the truth?

Reasons for lying

Why some people choose to lie or why they do it:

• it is more profitable to lie, or the authority of the person who conceals the truth remains intact;
• hearing the truth will make a person nervous or upset;
• lying makes the situation safer or helps avoid a scandal;
• a person is in trouble, that is, he needs strength to cope with it, but the truth will only make everything worse;
• facts will offend someone;
• I want to tell an interesting story or keep up a conversation, but I can’t remember anything relevant.

The latter is perhaps the most harmless reason for lying. Often such stories are very easy to recognize. But if you tell a person that he is lying, he will either be offended or will not agree that he is lying.

In what situations is lying justified?

The most popular reason for lying is to deceive in order to save a relationship. People also lie when it suits them. There are also so-called white lies. It is used in the following situations:

• to save another person from worries, to keep him calm;
• avoid disappointment;
• not to upset someone;
• cheer up another person;
• motivate the individual to fight;
• cheer up a person in a difficult situation;
• avoid scandal;
• prevent mental trauma;
• do not offend;
• keep safe.

The problem is that this type of lie is actually quite close to personal fears or selfishness. There are situations when this fine line is blurred. Probably the most harmless lies that can really be justified are made-up stories to cheer up or motivate a person.

From one extreme to another

Another reason why a person lies is that he is a pathological liar. That is, he does not benefit from lying, but is trying to impress or is simply accustomed to lying. Sometimes such people lie so much that they begin to believe their lies: it becomes the truth for them.

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But there are also individuals who always tell the truth. Even if they weren't asked to speak. Even people they don't know.

They are usually called boors. To tell the truth, sometimes you need to have the courage to offend others. But boors do not need any courage, because they do not care about the feelings of others. For example, you just met a person, and he already managed to tell you how ugly your eyebrows are, and it wouldn’t hurt you to lose weight. You might have gained a couple of pounds during the holidays, but have been grooming your eyebrows every day in an attempt to achieve that Hollywood shape. But the boor thinks so and thinks that he is obliged to say about it.

These types of lies and truths are useless and meaningless, they spoil the mood, and phrases often linger in people’s souls.

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Option 2

(380 words) Hostility destroys not only relationships between people, but also the people themselves. In the heat of quarrels, we lose time, energy and nerves, pushing all really important matters into the background. Therefore, every person should avoid conflicts and make peace at the first opportunity. This is proven by numerous examples from the literature.

So, A.S. Pushkin in his novel in verse “Eugene Onegin” described the conflict between two friends. Eugene wanted to have fun with his friend and take revenge on him for bringing him to an evening that did not meet Onegin’s expectations. As a weapon of revenge, he chose flirting with Olga, Vladimir’s fiancée. The provincial coquette was flattered by the attention of the capital's dandy and devoted the whole evening to him. Lensky was furious, he was jealous of Olga and longed for a duel. Evgeniy accepted the challenge. Although he admitted his guilt, things never came to an apology, because Onegin was afraid of damaging his reputation in the eyes of the world. Asking for forgiveness could be interpreted as cowardice. As a result, a quarrel led the friends to the barrier, and Lensky was killed on the eve of the wedding. The devastating consequences of their enmity are proof that it is best to avoid conflicts, because they are dangerous and unpredictable, and their impact on life is destructive.

An equally instructive example is A.S. Pushkin was portrayed in the novel “Dubrovsky”. Two old friends lived side by side and often communicated, even thought about marrying their children, but one accidental disagreement destroyed their relationship and led to dire consequences. Andrei Gavrilovich, while visiting a friend, noticed that his hunting dogs lived better than serfs. Troekurov's dogger responded by saying that “it would be nice for another master to exchange his estate for a dog kennel.” Dubrovsky was offended and left the estate. He sent Troekurov a letter demanding that Paramoshka be punished for his insolence. Kirila Petrovich was infuriated by the tone of the message and refused. The neighbor caught his men on his territory and ordered them to be flogged for stealing timber. Troekurov decided to punish his comrade and bribed officials in order to illegally appropriate Dubrovsky’s possessions. Andrei Gavrilovich, having lost his home, became very ill from frustration and died prematurely, and his friend never had time to make peace with him and ask for forgiveness. The conflict between two friends, which began with a trifle, led to tragic consequences, which confirms the need to avoid quarrels and disputes.

Thus, conflicts must be eliminated from your life, otherwise they will destroy it. Disputes and squabbles prevent a person from building harmonious and long-term relationships and give rise to clashes that are dangerous to health. It is better to preserve a bad peace than to waste oneself on good quarrels.

Lie or tell the truth?

Sometimes facts cause other people a lot of pain and trouble, and lying no longer seems so evil.

If a lot depends on your decision to tell the truth or lie, think carefully and ask yourself a couple of questions:

1. Will telling the truth bring benefit or only harm?

If the answer is yes, then it’s also worth considering what the benefit is. If the facts do not change anything or cause harm, there is no point in being frank.

1. Would you be pleased to hear the truth if you were this person?

It is important not just to look from your point of view, but to take into account the person’s personality and position. You need to become the person to whom you are going to tell the truth, take into account his situation, his character.

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Who are they lying to?

If we do not consider pathological lies, then in the relationships of healthy people the root cause is the one to whom they lie. He either does not know how to accept the truth, or is dangerous with his reactions.

This doesn't justify lying. But in this case it is as inadequate as the weakness of the one to whom they lie. And the inability to accept the truth is nothing more than weakness. It is better not to communicate with such a person at all, but if an unpleasant topic cannot be avoided, then you can lie.

But this, in my opinion, is more relevant for “unvirtuous” lies. As for white lies, I think it is present in any relationship and depends on the values ​​and attitudes of all participants.

Advantages and disadvantages

When deciding whether to lie or not, it’s a good idea to weigh all the pros and cons that lying will bring.

Arguments against":

• lying will only hide problems. Without knowing the truth about the problem, a person will not be able to deal with it or resolve the difficult situation around it;
• if the truth is hidden so as not to harm the person or the relationship with him, rose-colored glasses are put on him. Because of them, he does not see the difficulties that need to be corrected;
• lies and excuses can drive a person into a dead end, which will lead to consequences, and the author of the lie risks lying.

Arguments for":

• the truth does not and will never affect other people, so it can be hidden;
• facts will not change the present in the future.

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There are fewer arguments for using lies. This means that it must be justified and not affect any person in the future or present except you. Only then is the lie worth it.

Truth and sincerity. Should you always say what you think?

We often repeat that a person is judged by his deeds, but sometimes we forget that a word is also an action. A person’s speech is a mirror of himself. Everything false and deceitful, vulgar and vulgar, no matter how we try to hide it from others, all emptiness, callousness or rudeness breaks through in speech with the same force and obviousness with which sincerity and nobility, the depth and subtlety of thoughts and feelings are manifested.”

L.N. Tolstoy.

“When I despair, I remember that in history, truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers throughout history, and at times they may seem invincible, but in the end they always lose. Remember this - always"

Mahatma Gandhi.

Each person has his own views on when and under what circumstances it is necessary to tell the truth. Perhaps if the world were divided into black and white, it would be much simpler. But would life be interesting in that case?

The issue of truth is controversial and very complex. Everyone chooses the answer to it independently, based on the culture of upbringing, way of thinking, social orientation and personal moral attitudes. However, the question of whether it is always worth telling the truth remains an interesting debate. One cannot but agree that everyone has their own opinion, but all opinions are united by one thing: truth is the antipode of lies. Truth is reliable information, something that corresponds to reality.

In the classification of Ashtanga yoga given by the sage Patanjali, one can find such an aspect as Satya

, which refers to
Yama
(moral principles for self-improvement) and means “sincerity and truthfulness towards oneself and towards other people.” But ask yourself a question: does a person always act in accordance with this principle?

I propose to recall the story of the heroine of the ancient Vedic epic "Mahabharata", the wife of King Pandu of Hastinapura and the mother of the three eldest of the five Pandava brothers, Kunti. When the stern ascetic Durvasa stayed with King Kuntibhoja for a year, Kunti was entrusted with serving the guest. Durvasa was so pleased with Kunti's good behavior that, as a reward, he taught her a mantra from the Atharva Veda, with which she could, at will, summon any god to obtain offspring. Summoning the sun god Surya out of curiosity to try out the mantra, young Kunti gave birth to the hero Karna from Surya. Deciding to maintain her premarital relationship with Surya, Kunti got rid of the baby by floating him in a basket along the river. Kunti did not tell anyone the truth for many years. Why did she hide the truth about Karna's birth, thereby dooming her son to a life of betrayal and humiliation?

Is it possible to always tell the truth? Research shows that any person tells a lie several times a day, even a small, harmless lie. Sometimes, in order to embellish their story, people even lie to themselves. And often we just remain silent. What is this, silence for good? There is also a truth taken out of context, which as a result becomes a lie, since outside the whole picture, any fact can be played out differently. It turns out that partial truth is also a lie. There are so many nuances and everything is so individual that it all depends on the specific situation.

Then you need to understand what gives rise to lies. A lie allows the world around you to be what it wants to be. In every life there comes a time when someone wants to reveal the truth, but is not always able to express it. Some fears grip my heart. We are always afraid of others. We are afraid of ourselves. We are afraid to forgive another for his desires, fearing that he will judge us. The reasons for the birth of lies can also be the desire to assert oneself, to appear better than one actually is, fear of punishment and misunderstanding.

Lies that harm others are born of fear, anger and envy. Such lies can lead to desperate actions. It can destroy lives. She sets traps that both the liar and his victim can fall into. As a result, chaos reigns, both in relationships between individuals and throughout society. Many wars have been caused by harmful lies

L. Ron Hubbard "The Way to Happiness."

If you want there to be fewer lies in your life, and people telling you as much truth as possible, then you should adhere to some rules:

• learn to tell people the truth yourself, even if their expectations do not correspond to the current state of affairs;
• when you are told the truth, accept it as it is;
• Let others know that you prefer the truth to lies.

No matter how paradoxical it may sound, there are good lies and bad truths. Just as there is no black and white in the world, each situation is individual, and sometimes you simply cannot follow your principle of always telling the truth. But a person gets tired of this state of affairs and wants to be honest. But being honest and telling the truth are not the same thing. First of all, you need to be honest with yourself, not be two-faced and not be disingenuous with the people around you. But the truth is, whether it is needed depends on who it is aimed at. Things that are insignificant to us can be taken very seriously by others. No matter how much we logically try to derive a universal rule or weigh the pros and cons, it is definitely impossible to make a decision on this issue. We all make mistakes, we all pay for them later, and there are actions that we are ashamed to admit. The consequences of even a minor mistake can be much more serious than it might seem at first glance.

Next, it’s worth touching on the topic of sincerity. Sincerity is synonymous with truth, but the two are not the same thing. To be truthful means to speak only the truth. And to be sincere means to express outwardly only what we really think and feel. The quality of truthfulness can be attributed to the sphere of the mind and reason. He who knows the truth has some knowledge that he can share with others. The quality of sincerity belongs to the sphere of the soul, the heart, as evidenced by a number of synonymous qualities listed in the dictionary of synonyms for the word “sincerity.” These are openness, simplicity, penetration, frankness, straightforwardness, authenticity, sincerity, sincerity, directness, simple-heartedness, sincerity, cordiality, sincerity, unfeignedness and others.

They say that sincerity is the purity of the soul. Thanks to sincerity, we can remain ourselves, we can speak truthfully, express thoughts and feelings as they really are, without embellishment. If there is sincerity, then there is a place for trust. At the same time, you do not have to say your credit card number; it is important to sincerely express your opinion about a particular situation and at the same time not lose your dignity.

Human sincerity is an irreplaceable quality that is very easy to lose. Sincerity and kindness are the result of upbringing, an indicator of faith, the level of a person’s cultural upbringing. The example of the parents themselves plays a huge role. Communication with the outside world, and necessarily with “good” people, that is, with those who possess these qualities, also has a great influence.

How to achieve sincerity:

• faith. Religiosity awakens the best qualities of a person;
• reading classical and spiritual literature. Truly good literature appeals to the most positive sides of the personality, calling and teaching to sincerity, truthfulness and naturalness;
• interpersonal communication. By communicating with people who are models of honesty and sincerity, a person cultivates these virtues;
• family upbringing. Parents who set an example of sincerity for their children become more sincere themselves;
• self improvement. We need to learn to deal with excessive caution, softness, and indecisiveness.

However, it is worth reflecting on what it means to be sincere. You can say, for example, to your neighbor: “Listen, your coat is funny.” These are my thoughts, I expressed them! Logically, it seems so. But not really. We should tell people what is truly important, regardless of whether it makes us happy, sad, or offensive. How difficult it is to tell the same neighbor: “Please stop listening to music so loud in the evening, my child is sleeping at this time.” In most cases, such requests are respectfully fulfilled. However, we say nothing, endure, get irritated, and at one fine moment we pour out everything we think about him, right down to the color of his slippers.

Therefore, sincerity in communication includes:

• honest expression of your thoughts about what is important to you personally. Hushing up a problem leads to serious conflicts, sometimes this is how relationships collapse and enemies are acquired. It’s better to talk about the problem and find ways to solve it. Perhaps after the conversation it turns out that the problem is fictitious and does not exist at all;
• open expression of one's feelings and positive emotions. By sending love and joy into the world, we receive the same positive energy in return.

Only the truth felt by the heart can help another person. Not to humiliate a person, but to elevate him, direct him to development and improvement. To avoid harm, the truth can only go hand in hand with sincerity. Being sincere, do not worry about your pride - it leads to loneliness, and real dignity is to be able to make a friend of any person. So make sincerity in communication your rule, let your life become brighter and richer!