Why does a married man need a mistress?

What does a married lover look for on the side?
Lost Ideal
Antidepressant
Psychology of a married lover in relation to his mistress
To change or not?
Why does a married man need a mistress in the end?

The most intriguing and discussed topic remains male infidelity. Why do men look for mistresses with whom they then cheat, thereby showing their dislike to their wives, whom they do not divorce, who have to lie and cause mental pain? Men themselves blame women, although in fact they understand that they are committing an unpleasant act. Women blame men for everything, but in most cases they forgive them, maintaining relationships. Why does a married man need a mistress, and the men's site masculino.ru will tell you all about irrational manifestations of love.

Perhaps, any reasonable person will not understand why to have a mistress if there is already one woman whom the man has made his wife. Everything in the house can be cleaned, your favorite sofa and TV can be waiting, and the man continues to conquer women’s hearts. Why does he need this if at the same time he has to negotiate with his own conscience, then come up with various excuses for his wife, why he was late and where he was. Also, relationships on the side require resourcefulness, hassle and a lot of strength, which is sometimes not enough for oneself.

There are even situations when the mistress and wife know about each other’s presence. Here, a man also does not solve the problem in order to break up with someone and stay with one woman. One continues to criticize and insult him, accuse him and demand obedience. The second persuades him to leave his wife, marry her and is offended every time when he does not realize her desires. A man is attacked from different sides - why does he need this hassle?

Every time we consider the issue of male infidelity, which is talked about more and more often, only one thought comes to mind: there is no logic here. Everything is built on emotions, needs and spontaneous desires that will not obey invented logic.

What does a married lover look for on the side?

A married man will not take a mistress unless absolutely necessary. He understands perfectly well that women can be a lot of fun in bed, but very painful in a relationship. If a mistress is acquired, then her appearance should bring more benefit to the man than the harm that also arises. What does a married lover look for on the side?

Often psychologists look at the family relationships of the parents of those men who take on mistresses. They see the first reason in the repetition of the behavior of fathers:

Inability to face and solve problems. If a man was a constant witness to the quarrels of his parents, who ran away from problems into infidelity, then he will adopt their behavior. He does not know how to resolve family conflicts other than by running to his mistress, as his dad did. And if he also finds a mistress who is understanding and calm, then he is generally lucky. A man seeks comfort, which he loses when he quarrels with his wife.
Lack of attention, love and affection from parents. It is in childhood that a child begins to understand what love, loyalty and other emotions are. If a boy was faced with the fact that his parents did not love him, did not pay attention, did not care and did not respect him, then he does not understand these feelings. Already having his own family, he cannot be faithful, caring, devoted, because he does not even know what this is.
Ridicule after the first sexual encounter. If a man comes across a girl who, while depriving him of his virginity, ridicules his shortcomings and lack of skills, then he will automatically begin to assert himself through sexual contacts with women. He may not even understand why he needs this, while he is simply proving to himself that he really is a sex giant. In such a situation, the man’s wife should admire his sexual and masculine virtues in order to keep him near her and promote his fidelity.
Example of a father. There are two types of fathers who develop treacherous qualities in their sons: the first type is cheaters, the second type is weaklings. If a father cheats on his mother, then the son may also begin to cheat on his wife when he grows up. If the father is a weak person who is “under the heel” of the mother, then the son, most likely, also falls under the heel of the mother. Soon he grows up and chooses a woman similar to his mother. Here he finds himself in a familiar environment, where his wife is his mother, and the women with whom he has fun on the side prove his masculinity.

Love separately, work separately

Often lovers meet at work together. The woman in your secret life could be your colleague or even your subordinate. However, here, too, initially you need to dot all the i’s. At work, you must work and not even show that there is some kind of relationship between you. But in bed and during romantic encounters you can enjoy love.

Even if you go on business trips together, other people should not be aware of your common love affairs. This information can be used by ill-wishers who want to harm you.

Lost Ideal

Since all people come from childhood, it is very important with what ideas and desires a person enters the adult world. It is usually said that women have their head in the clouds, wanting to find rich princes. Men are also not devoid of daydreaming. They were also brought up on fairy tales about housewives, princesses and weak young ladies. Every man has his own ideal of the lady he sees next to him. And the problem here is that a person misunderstands the purpose of this ideal.

Many people (both men and women) believe that having their ideal loved one, they need to look for him. There are many problems here, one of which is betrayal.

A man cheats on his beautiful, kind and gentle wife, with whom he actually has a wonderful relationship, because she does not live up to his ideal. At first she was beautiful, mysterious, wonderful. He admired her. However, it is impossible to eat only one cake, no matter how much you like the taste. Sometimes you want to eat something else. The man realizes that he is actually dating an ordinary woman who has her own shortcomings. Moreover, this woman gets older every year, becomes predictable and understandable. If this does not correspond to his ideal, then he can take mistresses to compensate for his search.

The man continues to search for the ideal, hoping that he will find it. He takes on lovers who are somewhat similar to his ideal. However, after a while he notices that these young ladies seem beautiful only at first glance.

If a man does not understand that one must strive for the ideal, but do not necessarily find it, since it most likely does not exist, then he will constantly be in search of his beloved.

Refuse to have a child

Your mistress may also want to have a child with you, especially if she is single. Under no circumstances should this be done. Understand that when women give birth to children, they will begin to tie you to themselves in various ways. They will first begin to put pressure on your pity, then they will threaten, and at the end they will generally force you to constantly provide them financially. You definitely cannot hide this from your wife if she knows well how much money you earn.

A child should only be born in a family relationship. And don’t even give your mistress any hopes for this.

Antidepressant

Various problems constantly happen in a man's life. The important point here is to remain calm and feel supported in order to be able to cope with any problems. However, understanding and mutual support often disappear between spouses over the years. The wife no longer listens to the man, does not give him advice, and is not interested in his problems. Most men do not belong to the category of successful people at all, which can internally gnaw at them and constantly bother them. And here is a girl who understands, supports, worries - in other words, an antidepressant.

If a man needs moral support, communication with a woman, advice and recommendations, then he will be happy to be carried away by the young lady who will give him this. If, according to his wife, he is a loser, then he will definitely have a mistress who will admire him and call him her hero.

Thus, the man found in his mistress the peace that his wife did not give him.

Material aid

Should I give my mistress money? This issue should not be viewed negatively. Many men provide for their mistresses, even if after this they can be called prostitutes. Commercialism is natural for women. Every woman, even your wife, to some extent builds a relationship with a man in order to receive money from him.

How much money to give to your mistress should be decided by you personally. However, there are mistresses who date men only when they give them money, and in the amount they need.

Psychology of a married lover in relation to his mistress

A married man who takes a mistress begins to develop a certain pattern of behavior as the relationship develops. At first he:

He watches his speech so as not to spill the beans.
He tries to avoid places where he might be caught by his wife when meeting his mistress.
Activates the thought process and attention.
Monitors the location and movements of the new passion.
Plans to anticipate all possible scenarios.

Over time, all these processes are simplified if a man sees that all his predictions are being realized and no one knows about his betrayal.

Another category of men who go to the left are those who were forced to marry. Their ladies “knocked up”, and they, like decent gentlemen, married them, answering for the consequences. However, the wedding does not yet say who the men will love and whether they will remain faithful to their “forced” wives.

When a young lady becomes pregnant, which forces a man to marry her, then in most cases the man begins to cheat. He doesn't love her. He was forced to get married. He created a family for the sake of the child, and not for the sake of the woman. In other words, a man allows himself to do what he wants, since he has sacrificed himself.

A man during a new romance becomes inspired, full of strength and energy. Wives note that their husbands are beginning to take care of themselves. In addition to delays at work, husbands may even bring flowers home or show up in a good mood. All this indicates that the man has taken a mistress, who at first will inspire him and give him joy.

Avoid Questions

It is better to avoid any questions about your family life. Your mistress will probably be interested to know how your relationship with your wife is. However, understand that any information may not pose any danger today, but over time it may be used against you. If your mistress doesn’t like the breakup with you, then she may want to take revenge on you. And here the information that you yourself gave out about your family will come in handy.

Communication between lovers is a must. A woman, even if she is married, needs not only sex, but also communication. She wants to feel desired, interesting, attractive. Here you can communicate not only live, but also by SMS and phone. Of course, make sure that your secret correspondence does not fall into the hands of your wife or your other ill-wishers.

Always take the initiative to hear or write something to your lover. Although she is not your lover, she will be pleased to feel at least some affection from you.

To change or not?

To cheat or not, that is the question for men. For many, the first time happens spontaneously, and when the betrayal was not discovered, the subsequent times follow the pattern. If a man is conscious, then he first wants to decide for himself whether he will cheat, so that later he does not worry, does not feel remorse, etc.

Each man will decide whether to cheat or not. Here we can just give a few thoughts on the topic:

If you want to have a mistress because you are not satisfied with your legal relationship, you can try to fix everything first.
If you love your wife, then do not cheat on her so as not to feel remorse.
There are wives who do not forgive infidelity and immediately leave their husbands who cheated on them. You should remember this.
If the reason for cheating is faded passion in a relationship, then you need to use your imagination to fix everything.
If your wife forgives you, then for many years she will remember your offense and suspect you of yet another betrayal.
If your wife finds out about your infidelity, she will forever lose trust in you.
Be aware of sexually transmitted diseases. You are unlikely to choose a mistress who has a doctor’s certificate stating that she is healthy. And if you infect your wife with a sexual disease, she will definitely leave you.

Give gifts

Even with a mistress you will have to spend money on gifts. After all, all women love surprises, even if they are just lovers. This inflames their love, energy, and positive attitude. Since you cannot see your lover every free minute, you can compensate for this shortcoming with various gifts. It is not necessary to give expensive gifts, especially if your mistress is married.

You can give candies, sets of underwear, cosmetics, perfumes, jewelry, flowers, etc. Sometimes a simple gift in the form of money is suitable for a married woman, if no one has any prejudices.

Even if your lover is married, she also needs to be given gifts to please her. It’s better to discuss with her what kind of surprises she should give so that her husband doesn’t suspect anything.

Actions and deeds

After a man breaks up with his lover and puts an end to the relationship, he is subjected to extreme stress. In order for his wife not to find out about the move to the left, he has to restrain his emotions within himself, and this leads to the fact that the level of adrenaline in the body simply goes off scale. A man can go to great lengths. Often, representatives of the stronger sex go on an alcoholic binge, ending in addiction, go to the gym, drive at high speed and find physical activities that they spend days on end doing. Such men are advised to immediately contact a psychotherapist, otherwise the emergence of a new addiction is possible.

Speaking about how a married man can break up with his mistress, how to survive this without much emotional loss, psychologists note that it is recommended to find a new enjoyable activity to fill the void. You can go on a trip, join a reenactors club, and, ultimately, collect models of airplanes or ships.

Underdeveloped nest3

Yes, this reason is again the fault of the woman. But it goes deeper than the three reasons described above. A woman, by her nature, must create a nest and home comfort. A man should be a breadwinner. For everything to work correctly, she must inspire him, he must achieve his goals. How to inspire a man? Here you need to remember the beginning of the relationship.

For him, the chosen one was a mystery. Like jumping to the bottom of the sea for a shell. And then open it with interest and wonder whether there will be a pearl there or not. A woman’s task is to be a mystery throughout her entire family life. So that a man does not look for her in other women. So that he does not look for inspiration and emotional uplift in others. Why do men have mistresses and leave prosperous families? Why do they leave beautiful wives? Abandoning long-awaited children?

The reason is the loss of its value. This is what some call a midlife crisis. When, after thirty years, a man begins to look back and look at his achievements, comparing them with his dreams and plans. During such a period, you need to pick it up and support it. Praise and show how necessary and important he is to his family and his wife in particular. If not, he will go to assert himself on the side. He will consider his bed affairs as victories and be proud of them.

How does a man feel when he breaks up with his mistress?

Before we answer this question, let us clarify that we are talking about a long-term relationship in which feelings and affection have already appeared. For any normal person, parting with someone he loves will always be unpleasant, associated with pain and melancholy. What stages does a man go through after breaking off a relationship on the side? He will have to go through many emotional and unpleasant stages. The first of them is denial. A man may simply not believe that he has lost his lover; for some time plans will be made in his head about meetings and dates, gifts, and so on. When a man realizes that the relationship is over, the stage of anger begins. A man's behavior when he breaks up with his mistress is completely unpredictable. The cheater may blame his mistress, get angry at her, and then bring the aggression down on himself. By the way, often the legal spouse also becomes a victim, usually this happens when she is aware of everything that happened. At this stage, a cold war or quite open indignation and nagging on the part of the husband is possible.

The next stage is bargaining. The man either bargains with himself or gets in touch with his mistress, trying to set certain deadlines that will be needed to return his beloved or forget her. After this, depression begins: the man realizes that it is too late to do anything, it is simply impossible to deny what happened. His life includes indifference, apathy and sadness. The final stage is a reboot. The man realizes that all this time he did not live, but simply felt sorry for himself, looking for something unattainable and uncertain. At this moment, the man pulls himself together, begins to make new plans, and feels an unprecedented surge of strength to implement them. It is often at this stage that the relationship between spouses improves noticeably. They develop new interests and hobbies and spend more time together.