Family psychology. How to return old feelings to a relationship?

• November 16, 2019
• Psychology of relationships
• Fedorova Victoria

When a relationship between a man and a woman just begins, it is full of passion and tenderness. However, such a period does not last forever. Common life, raising children and many everyday worries leave spouses neither the strength nor the time to show love. People get used to each other, and feelings fade away. However, every person, regardless of age and length of family relationships, wants to feel at least a small share of emotions. Spouses often ask how to bring feelings back into a relationship. After all, this is especially important for the family.

The main reasons for the disappearance of love in relationships

In reality, there are many reasons for a crisis to arise in a family. They are formal and real. The first include: differences in characters, social status, etc. But the real reasons are related to personality characteristics.

These include:

1. Selfishness of a man. He is not ready to give anything to the relationship, but only wants to receive.
2. Lack of separate personal space for spouses. Either one of them does not know how to give it, or the other does not know how to receive it.
3. Lack of skills or desire to negotiate with each other.
4. The desire to build your relationship not like your parents, but vice versa. They are based on the idea of ​​the family of one of the partners.
5. Complete openness of the union, when every third person can intervene in it.
6. Character traits. In this case, upbringing or some childhood trauma plays an important role. They interfere with building relationships.

When spouses ask how to bring love back into a relationship, psychologists answer that many factors influence this. Therefore, you need to work with each family separately. Not everything is always smooth in relationships, so spouses need to behave correctly. At the same time, relationships take a long time to build, but are destroyed instantly.

Men often ask specialists how to return a girl’s feelings to herself. To do this, you need to rethink your union and draw appropriate conclusions.

Talk about your needs

Day-to-day responsibilities or major life events, such as losing a job or caring for children and elderly parents, also have an impact on relationships and can cause feelings to fade.

“In any relationship, there are times when you cannot give your partner as much attention as before because you have other equally important things to do. In such cases, it is useful not to close the communication channel. Often it is enough to spend just a little time to show your partner that he is still important to you, that you love him and care about him. At the same time, your needs must also be clearly defined,” says Major.

Try to set aside time for conversations (don't forget to put your phones aside). You don’t have to devote the whole evening to this and turn the conversation into a full-fledged discussion - you can just take a walk or chat in the car.

“How to regain that precious time for just two? If you can do this, it will be easier for you to tell your partner how important they are to you,” says Major. And Moyle advises figuring out the things you would like to change. “Is it physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, or both? Maybe one of you will say, “I would like a little more help from you. Could you go grocery shopping this week?’ I often give couples this task: first they have to promise to do something, and then ask for help. It is always a matter of mutual agreement; one partner cannot do all the work.”

What contributes to the deterioration of relationships

Before you learn how to bring love back into a relationship, you need to find out why it is deteriorating:

• Constant quarrels. If a couple has scandals and quarrels, this leads to the disappearance of tender feelings. Spouses should not constantly conflict and insist on their own. They need to learn to give in to each other, even if one of them is wrong. It is very useful to do this.
• Changes in family composition. Often quarrels in the family become more frequent when a child is born. Sometimes the problem arises of who will look after the children if the grandmother will not do it. As a result, someone must take on the vacated responsibilities.
• Loss of trust. This can be caused by infidelity, betrayal and other factors. This is one of the main reasons for breaking trust in a couple. It can be returned over time, but both spouses must work for this.
• Destroyed hopes. Joint plans and dreams strengthen the family. Especially when it comes to buying an apartment or traveling. And it’s bad when all hopes are not met.

How to get your feelings back? Spouses must understand that relationships cannot be perfect. If everything in the family is wrong, then it is best to visit a psychologist.

Secret 1. Remember everything!

The easiest way to return the feelings that once made you choose this particular person as your life partner is to go back to the past. Your memories and feelings will help you with this. What you experienced when he first took you by the hand, invited you on a date, kissed you - all these feelings and circumstances serve as so-called psychological “anchors”.

These could be tunes that you both loved, restaurants or public gardens where your first dates took place. Don’t set yourself the task of resurrecting everything, try to observe what feelings you are experiencing now in the same circumstances. On a romantic trip, looking through photos of your first new year or vacation together, stay together, tell each other about your feelings and think about what you both miss.

How to get a man's love back

Women often notice that passion has disappeared. How to return your husband's feelings? To resolve this issue, you need to do the following.

Many girls, after a long relationship, believe that the man belongs to them and will not go anywhere. And this is absolutely not true. Any relationship requires constant investment, especially if you want to receive dividends.

How to get a guy's feelings back? It is important that partners have many points of contact. This could be work in the same industry or similar leisure activities. When a man enjoys fishing, a woman does not have to take part in the process itself. She can cook dinner and organize overnight stays.

It is desirable that spouses have similar culinary tastes. A woman needs to learn to cook the dishes her husband loves.

Sexual relationships are an important part of marriage. They are the key to a long and happy life. There should be no complexes in your intimate life. Spouses should receive only positive emotions from her.

How to rekindle the sparkle in his eyes

1. Remember the time when you first met. Try to become the same as before, maybe even better. It is necessary to captivate the man, to give a new twist to the romance. It would be great to recreate your acquaintance by having a date in the same place, but change it a little. Let these be pleasant memories with elements of novelty.
2. Change your image. Take care of your appearance, stop being discouraged. Go shopping, buy clothes, taking into account the tastes of your loved one. Get your hair done, go to the spa, experiment. When going on a date, try to look stunning, he will be pleasantly surprised.
3. Now the exterior is in order, let's start with the internal renovation. It may seem difficult, but the main thing is to have the right attitude. Your task is to learn to manage your emotions. When a guy begins to move away, it may mean that the man is tired of the tension in the relationship, the intensity of passions, and emotions. Be easier in communication so that your loved one feels comfortable with you. We need to achieve harmony in the couple. Correct the shortcomings in your character, change your perception of life, harmonize the space around you. Forgive and let go of the grievances that have accumulated.
4. Don't impose your society. Men are annoyed by annoying girls. There is no need to constantly call or write SMS. Take care of yourself, but accidentally catch his eye, flirt, but in this you also need to observe moderation, if you often walk near his house, it will look comical. Improve your personal life, find an interesting hobby or change your job. Having learned how prettier you are and how wonderfully you live, without his participation, the guy will regret that he broke up.
5. Become happy. Happiness is contagious, it is very pleasant to be around, communicate, and be friends with such people. Smile and laugh more, positive-minded girls always attract the attention of guys. You can easily and naturally start a pleasant conversation with them. He himself will want to meet, he will be drawn to you.
6. When you see that he wants to meet more often, make a game to win your heart. Just don’t throw yourself on his neck right away, stay away, but encourage the young man in trying to get closer. The main goal is to create intrigue. Men by nature are hunters, conquerors; an easily accessible girl quickly becomes boring. Let him make an effort; he needs tone and incentive to conquer new heights.
7. Jealousy is a good technique to increase interest. You need to be careful with this. If you know that a guy is jealous, then it is better not to tempt fate. Still, I decided to take a risk, it would refresh my feelings. It is not necessary to kiss the first person you meet; you can artificially create a situation so that the guy becomes a little jealous. For example, someone sent you flowers and asked you to dance, all of this will increase your status in his eyes.
8. Don't start sorting things out. If you managed to attract his attention again, there is no need to raise the sore subject anymore. Moreover, to repent and demand that he apologize, consider that you are starting from scratch. The new is much more interesting than the old. In addition, any mention can make your efforts in vain, the guy will understand that nothing has changed and will begin to move away again.
9. A pleasant evening will be remembered for a long time if you “accidentally” forget your item. Let it be a hairpin, earring, comb. You shouldn't leave anything important, like your phone, wallet or keys, because he will return them too quickly. Your goal is to make people think about you and miss you. When you come across a hairpin, you will often remember your last meeting, this is another reason to see each other. And you get a little busy, play hide and seek, and then agree to a meeting - this will give him more incentive to meet.
10. Focus on your indispensability, your uniqueness. Become indispensable to him. Start making your dreams come true like no other girl has ever done before. You must be spectacularly different from all previous passions. This will be your highlight that you want to share with your loved one. This could be a joint pursuit of one hobby, some kind of trick in the intimate sphere, or the ability to deliciously cook his favorite dish, you are aware of his preferences. Focus on irreplaceability, uniqueness, surround him with care and affection, this will bear fruit very soon, he will not be able to live a day without you.

Why do men love some people and marry others?

Using these tips, you need to understand that each person is individual, situations in life are also different. You should not rush to extremes to try to return a person who has stopped loving you and does not appreciate you. In such cases, it is better to let go not only of the situation, but also of the man. Not all guys deserve to be returned and admired by girls, are you sure that this is really necessary. And if you really want to, you can achieve whatever you want. You will definitely succeed!

And the main rule: you need to value yourself no less than the most wonderful man in the world, you deserve to be happy.

Good luck, love and happiness!

What to do for your spouse

Any woman must follow several rules that will help improve her relationship with her husband:

1. Men also have the right to be upset, disappointed, etc. You should not constantly criticize and scold your husband. You can jointly discuss any undertaking and consider all options for its development. In case of failure, you should not shift responsibility to your spouse. A husband and wife should be friends not only in good times.
2. If a woman marries a man who has achieved success in a certain professional field, then she needs to make every effort to further his development.

After disagreements arise in the family, you need to remove selfishness from the relationship. You should not tie your husband to the house. A man should have his own life, in which he has the right to communicate with friends or pursue his hobbies.

Women should not constantly make comments to their spouse, because there are no ideal people in the world. It is best for them to take care of their appearance or self-development.

The wife should become self-sufficient and not cling to her husband’s hand in any situation. She needs to learn to make decisions without his advice.

A friendly atmosphere should reign in the house so that a man would happily rush there after work. After quarrels and scandals, you should not make family troubles public.

Feelings between husband and wife have cooled. What to do?

• At the very beginning of a relationship between lovers, a river of bliss and understanding flows. They spend a lot of time together, chirp incessantly and it seems to them that the whole world contributes to their happiness. But why then does even very happy couples, after marriage, the birth of a child, or just ordinary problems in everyday life, develop a feeling of cooling and how to overcome it in the struggle for love?
• The first thing you need to do is, of course, talk to your partner and tell everything about your experiences and feelings. If he values ​​the relationship, he will meet you halfway and then all attempts will have a greater chance of success. If, after the conversation, the spouse is not very ready for compromises and wants to be alone or even live separately, you should not restrain him
• For many couples, spending some time alone helps them understand themselves and their feelings and desires. The main thing is not to precipitate a breakup and immediately agree on a time frame. For example, you should live separately for 2-3 weeks and try to meet again and discuss everything

Why does a woman's love fade away?

No matter how attached a woman is to her husband, there are some things that cause her to fade away her previous feelings. To bring romance back into a relationship, you need to find out what led to the rift. And then eliminate the cause.

When a man asks a specialist how to return his wife’s cooled feelings, he needs to understand that a lot of factors influence this. As you know, passion fades over time. Psychologists consider this a natural process. Hot love in normal family relationships is replaced by tenderness, responsibility for each other and affection. Sometimes things happen differently. When love leaves, nothing appears to replace it in a woman’s heart.

The following circumstances are to blame for this:

1. Husband's inattention. After a hard day at work, the spouse wants to relax, and not listen to the problems of others or carry on a conversation. This most often leads to mutual inattention, and over time, to indifference. Therefore, men, despite being tired, should find time for a sincere conversation with their wife.
2. Coarseness. Most often, when various problems arise, men take out their anger and dissatisfaction on their wives. This can seriously worsen family relationships. Some of the women react negatively to this. Others accumulate pain and resentment inside, and then suddenly break off all relations with such a spouse.
3. Lack of care on the part of a man. Quite often in families, a woman carries heavy bags of groceries, negotiates repairs, saves for a vacation for the whole family, and provides for the children they share. As a result, she develops a complete rejection of her husband. A woman often has thoughts: why does she need such a man? After all, she copes with everything very well herself.
4. Lack of common interests between spouses. When a husband and wife like different films, music and books, this gradually alienates them from each other. To get closer, it is important that they have a common cause. This could be joint trips to pick mushrooms, home renovations on our own, etc.

A man often wonders how to return her feelings if they have cooled down. There are many ways to do this. After all, a man knows his wife like no one else. And so he will definitely find something that will please her. Any woman will like attentiveness and care.

Secret 3. Create something new

Walking into the past may not be enough. After all, the evening of memories will end, and you will have to return to everyday life. Everyday life takes away strength, and feelings fade. Years after meeting each other, the feeling of novelty that was so exciting and captivating at the beginning begins to be missed. In addition to memories of the past, you can come up with new traditions for your couple, creating pleasant events for both of you. On weekends, the easiest way is to sit at home; at best, you download a movie and watch it while sitting next to you.

But this will not resurrect the passion and those emotions that you want to experience again. Undoubtedly, any attempts to refresh the relationship, even perhaps not the most successful ones, are better than inaction. But it’s more important to try to understand what you can give each other here and now. The experience of breakups teaches us to appreciate what we have lost, and this is not just passion. After divorces, former spouses more often regret such simple things as communication, care, and ordinary human warmth. Try to understand what in your partner you would be sad without - this is what can become a solid basis for a relationship of a new order. Stronger, more serious and stable.

How to return your wife's feelings: advice from a psychologist

Women love to talk a lot, it is inherent in them by nature. No matter how tired a man is, he needs to talk to his wife for at least 15 minutes. During the conversation you can find out a lot of interesting things. These may be the reasons why a marriage breaks down. Perhaps the woman has problems with work or health. After all, it’s impossible to understand this without talking.

How to return your wife's cooled feelings?

1. Every woman has her own burden of grievances. If she does not free herself from them, then negative feelings will continue to eat away at her soul. Immediately after a quarrel, the husband should not ask about the reasons for the upset. It should take a little time. As a result, the signs of frustration will go away, and the man can learn about the offense and find the right words for reconciliation. Even if your spouse says unpleasant things, you don’t need to stop her and argue with her. The husband should ask what solutions to the problem she sees.
2. Women are often offended that their spouse rarely gives flowers or gifts. Men should not forget memorable dates. Even a small gift will find a warm response in a woman’s soul. Flowers or chocolate can lift even the worst mood.
3. Women need romance. Typically, warm relationships are present only in the first years of marriage. And then routine and routine lead to the fact that spouses become bored with each other. A man needs to find free time and visit theaters, cinemas, restaurants with his wife, and also travel.
4. Women need to be praised more often. After all, it won’t be difficult for a man to notice his wife’s beautiful hairstyle or her new dress.
5. Action is the best way to show your love. A man must help with housework, repairs and provide for the family financially.

Men often ask how to return their wife's cooled feelings. A good result comes from a joint visit to a psychologist. Perhaps the woman herself has been considering this option for a long time, but does not know how to offer it. Many men are afraid and do not want to go to a psychologist to solve their difficulties. They prefer to get bogged down in their own problems rather than let strangers into their affairs. If you suggest that your wife visit a psychologist together, this can make her happy. This will be seen as an attempt to save the marriage.

Secret 2. Accept each other completely

With all the shortcomings and annoying habits. We know that there are no people without disadvantages. At first we don’t notice them, because falling in love blinds us. But everyday life gradually opens our eyes and turns sweet features into the horrors of living together. Many things no longer cause waves of tenderness, and some things become more and more difficult to put up with over time.

At first we see only the good and love for it. However, those relationships that cannot be destroyed also develop happily because in them we know about the bad and accept it. How to do it? First, talk about it. Do not offend your partner, explain that you value his feelings, are grateful for them, but there are also things that can be changed for the better. This will allow him to show his love without causing discontent. The more compromises you find, the less irritation will remain in your couple. What to fight and what to ignore - you must resolve these issues together, without emotions and mutual accusations.

What is not recommended to do

When psychologists are asked how to get a relationship back, they do not recommend throwing quarrels and tantrums. This is very annoying and can push a man to break up.

Women should not blackmail their spouse with the idea that he will not be able to see their common children. There is no need to involve third parties in clarifying the relationship: parents, relatives or neighbors.

A public showdown of relationships does not help improve them, but leads to a man’s anger and pushing him away from his wife.

What to do if everything happened at a distance

Separation often puts obstacles in the way of lovers.

Separation often puts obstacles in the way of lovers

The lack of constant physical contact, changes in the rhythm of life - this undermines confidence in each other and creates the ground for thoughts of separation.

Adviсe:

• Stay in touch at any convenient time. Share stories, send photos, ask questions that will lead to dialogue. A person determined to maintain a relationship will not refuse to answer his beloved in his free moment, listen to her and tell her how he spends his days apart.
• To prove loyalty, emphasizing that only friends are present in the environment, there is no reason for jealousy. This will reassure your loved one and give a positive example to behave the same way.
• Dedicate the freed time to self-development. The guy will be glad that his beloved is not sad without him all day, but takes time for himself and gains new knowledge.
• If the cooling is felt too strongly, only a frank conversation will help. It is better to find out the truth before the situation becomes hopeless and solve the problem together.

Recommendations from experts: how to start building relationships

Establishing family relationships is quite difficult, but first the spouses need to understand them. To do this, you need to answer the following questions:

1. What do spouses expect from a relationship - romance or something more serious? If the latter, then the couple must agree on joint actions. After all, it’s not at all difficult for adults to solve this problem.
2. Is your home in good condition? If yes, then this will be the solution to all problems. Therefore, it is especially important that the house is always comfortable.
3. Is each spouse ready to take and give? If not, it will cause big problems in the future.

When women ask specialists whether it is possible to return feelings, they receive an affirmative answer. Only this will require a lot of effort from both spouses.

Secret 4. Realize the changes in yourself

Longing for past feelings for a long time, we remember ourselves as the people we were. Although in reality the dissatisfaction concerns today. It is not always possible to immediately understand how people in a couple have changed, but the important thing is that it was the relationship that made them different. If you had another husband, you would not be the same as you are now. Growing up and wisdom is a necessary stage for a full life, otherwise we would all remain naive and infantile boys and girls. Remember that your luggage is partly the merit of those who are nearby.

How to build renewed relationships

When psychologists advise spouses on how to bring love back into a relationship, they ask them not to allow it to cool down in the future. Women need to maintain high levels of mutual understanding and intimacy.

We should not forget that each partner must have a personal territory. There, each spouse can be alone, thinking about their problems or watching movies.

Partners should have the right to make mistakes. Therefore, there is no point in scolding each other for this.

Get started now

It's never too late to rekindle your feelings, but the sooner you start working on it, the better. If you delay this moment, you will have to deal with more problems, resentments and negativity: “It is always better to take a proactive approach to solving problems in relationships and sex, but this is very difficult for many couples because they do not want to rock the boat.” However, there is a possibility that such conversations will not lead to the desired results. “Couples psychotherapy is not intended to save relationships, but to help people understand their needs and desires. Many relationships exist without intimacy, sex or love, but they can break down at any moment,” says Moyle. It could be a love affair or something more routine like being late at work or being overly involved in your hobby.

Tip #10: Get involved in a common cause

Many couples face a relationship crisis because they stop being interested in each other. Sometimes spouses live side by side for many years and do not even know about their partner’s hobbies. Sooner or later, unions of indifferent people fall apart.

Try to be more attentive to your chosen one and his interests. The ideal option is to create a common business or find a joint hobby.

Here are some tips:

1. If your spouse loves basketball, buy him a ticket to the game and go with him. You might like it and become a basketball fan too.
2. Organize a common business. For example, your spouse works in the IT field, and you are good at drawing. Combine your skills and create a website for selling paintings.
3. Go to a ski resort. Even the most diverse people will find something to their liking here: skiing, snowboarding or just walking and enjoying nature.
4. Buy gym memberships and attend workouts together.

The easiest way to join forces is to cook together. Make it a rule to cook a new dish together every weekend. In the future, you can start a blog and post recipes with photos.

Why did your loved one stop loving you?

In relationships, the law of balance of importance works ironically. The more you invest in building your relationship, the less willingly he invests in it. If you are too romantic, loving, caring and attentive, give gifts and surprises, or try to please him in every possible way, you push him away and move him away from you at a breakneck pace. At the initial stage of a relationship, all these cute things can work as a plus while you are going through the sweet-bouquet period. But over time, MCH will stop showing interest in you and will look for a replacement - to get new emotions, with a new girl. For whose location it will be necessary to fight. What is more difficult to obtain is tastier. This happens for the reason that if a person (in his opinion) owns something completely and completely (in this case, you), the object for his brain becomes gray, boring and unattractive. And the point here is not in your appearance or anything else, but in your behavior pattern. For a relationship to be harmonious, it is necessary to invest approximately equal proportions of moral + physical resources. The type of resource is not important, only the quantity is important. And as soon as one of you begins to “love more,” he thereby creates an imbalance of significance, which leads to exactly the situation in which you are now. It is very difficult to get out of this situation, but it is possible, if you try and put in some effort, with the right vector. I am used to comparing love to a living organism: love is born, formed and progresses into something more, just like all living beings on the planet. From time to time he gets sick. Sometimes very serious. And subsequently dies. Reanimating love after its clinical death is about the same as giving birth to Frankenstein: it is dangerous and difficult, because you can make many different mistakes. However, if you are not afraid of difficulties, then you will be able to return your loved one. And I’ll tell you in detail how this can be done.

How to understand that a guy has cooled off: important signs

1. You began to notice a flirtatious look on his part at other girls, and caught his eye on the open cleavage of a pretty blonde. A man is subconsciously trying to find a potential replacement for you. Discuss with him what attracted him so much attention, beautiful body parts, or male interest. Although it is not a fact that a man will openly conduct a dialogue with you on this topic.
2. A man avoids relaxing with you, locks himself in a room after a hard day, or tries to spend the evening with friends and acquaintances, but not with you. Instead of one-on-one conversations, he prefers to sit in front of the TV or on the Internet. The desire to break free becomes stronger than him.
3. As the day went on, he stopped calling, worrying about his well-being and business. Even despite the real workload, he must make himself known, and if communication is excluded during this period, then the alarm bell has rung.
4. He is completely indifferent to your flirting with other men, without showing any sign or even imagining that you can find a more suitable candidate.
5. You don’t see any compliments, kind words or gifts from him, the relationship has become more strained, the note of romanticism has disappeared. The man is not trying to diversify your relationship, he is satisfied with routine and constancy, the desire to renew feelings on your part leads to nothing.
6. Your attempt to talk about future plans, future trips or purchases will not be successful; the man ignores and does not support you in this.

Any woman with the listed signs thinks, first of all, about the appearance of a mistress and will cause a scandal, but perhaps this is not the case at all.

What is long-term love based on?

Apparently, it is thanks to friendship that science knows people who celebrate a pink wedding in a kind of dopamine euphoria. A group of scientists from the already mentioned Rutgers University studied the Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love of couples who had preserved love and passion almost in their original form over the years, and analyzed their relationships. It turned out that the partners were connected by close friendship and the ability through it to influence each other’s personal growth.

This implies not just a comfortable existence, but the presence of common interests, views, a desire to do something together, to develop in the same direction.

The logic is simple: the release of dopamine, which causes passion, is facilitated by many pleasant, interesting and useful things that you can do together with a like-minded partner. It's also usually fun to be with him.

Make a wish list

To escape the rut, start keeping a list with your loved one of what you want to do in the next few years. Perhaps skydive, go on a road trip, or learn to ride a stand-up paddleboard.

Don't write down your own desires, but add to the list only what you would like to do together. Drawing up such a unique wish map will bring romance and positivity into your life together. This will bring you closer, even if you don't complete all the items on your list.

Will the strategy for getting your beloved guy back work?

The technique has proven itself to be highly effective. The strategy package contains not just invaluable theory, but also practical tasks that bring quick results. Package Contents:

• Detailed strategy for getting your loved one back;
• A clear action plan - all points are described in an extremely accessible manner;
• The practical part, consisting of special, simple but effective tasks;
• E-books + audio materials. After studying them, your behavior pattern will rise to a new level;
• Special feminine techniques that you will have to hone and try in life.

But most importantly, you will get your loved one back

thanks to this package. The same as he was before. You can start taking action right now.

Tip #13: Think and talk about sex more often

Without good and regular sex, marital relationships simply turn into family relationships, leaving only everyday life and formal obligations. As a result, spouses have sex for show or find interests on the side.

To bring back the spark and vivid emotions from sex into a relationship, you first need to talk honestly and openly with your partner about this problem. There is no need to insistently demand tenderness and affection, to find out why he doesn’t pester you, doesn’t kiss or hug you. Instead, try to re-interest and surprise him:

1. Don't be afraid to openly ask your partner about sexual preferences.
2. Tell him honestly what you want in bed.
3. Feel free to suggest new poses and experiments that you have been wanting to try for a long time.
4. Tell us about your wildest sexual fantasies, ask what he fantasizes about. Just the anticipation of such experiments will fuel desire, enhance the sensations of sex and bring a spark into your life.

In the middle of the workday, write your spouse an SMS about how much you want him and that you are looking forward to tonight.

How to fix it

In addition to finding the cause and fixing it, it is helpful to think about each other's needs. We are not talking about the needs for food, water, but about the psychological needs that every person has: security, acceptance, novelty, respect, attention, affection, significance and so on. Do you give this to each other?

For example, do you devalue his achievements with constant reproaches and comparisons with others? Aren't you concentrating all your attention on the children, frustrating his need for this very attention? Do you accept him as he is?

A good way to bring back old feelings is through memories. But just looking at photos or going to the restaurant where you had your first date is not enough.

Remember who he fell in love with

Remember yourself as you were when you first met. Which girl did he fall in love with? And why? How did you dress? How did you behave? What did you talk about, what were you interested in? Was there lightness and openness in you? With what eyes did you look at him? How did you laugh at his jokes? What could you talk about for hours? The best way to bring back his faded feelings is to bring back your past self.

Of course, it is no longer possible to be the same. This is not necessary. But you can remember those character traits and behavior that have always been and will remain in you, they are simply “crushed” by routine and problems.

Remember who you fell in love with

If you want a man to love you again, fall in love with him again. When a woman looks with a loving gaze, it always causes a storm of emotions in a man. And in order to return your feelings, it doesn’t hurt to remember why you fell in love with him, for what qualities. They haven’t disappeared anywhere either, he’s still “the hero of your novel,” you just see his weaknesses more often. But this does not mean that he has lost all his advantages.

Question No. 2. We broke up, but I want him back. Is it possible?

Above we talked about the action of the law of attraction, thanks to which each of us is the creator of our own reality. And it doesn’t matter whether you realize it or not, the law works the same for everyone.

This means that you can influence other people and control their attitude towards you. This is how you will be able to restore the connection with your beloved man, and he will return to you of his own free will, even if he previously said that he did not love you.

Remember: whether you should be together or not depends only on your choice, on your decision.

If you decide that this is the man you need, then you just need to do everything that we discussed when answering the previous question. You must live every day with confidence that this man longs to be with you, that only you he truly loves and only he feels good with you.

And then very soon reality will reflect your new state and your new thoughts. The man will return on his own!

Here's how it happens (from reviews of participants in the course “An Effective Program for Restoring Love Relationships”):

Tip #11: Kiss more often

A kiss is a shot of adrenaline and the easiest way to get closer on a physical and emotional level. Morning kisses charge you with positive energy and guarantee a great mood for the whole day.

Kiss your partner for no reason, showing your interest and passion. Don’t do it automatically and on the run, put your soul and energy into the kiss. Your spouse will certainly feel pleasant sensations during such contact and will not remain indifferent.

Foreplay with long kisses before sex will heighten your senses, increase desire and put you in the right mood.

Tip #14: Trust your partner

Jealousy is another reason for cooling of feelings and discord in family life. Suspicions of infidelity and constant reproaches can destroy even the strongest relationships.

Trust is the key to peace and harmony in the family. If your partner does not give reasons for jealousy, do not deliberately look for them, relax and completely trust your chosen one.

If a woman takes on a leadership role in the family, the man feels uncomfortable and gradually moves away. Let him be at the helm and make his own decisions without doubting their correctness. You will be pleasantly surprised at how your relationship changes if you stop crushing him with reproaches, claims, instructions and constant control.

Tip #5: Do stupid things

Couples who constantly try something new, extraordinary and stupid remain interesting to each other much longer. Stability and planning are good. But at least occasionally you need to add drive to the relationship by doing spontaneous things together. Behave childishly and do little stupid things:

• send each other funny pictures with funny captions by email,
• joke with each other - only good irony is welcome, not evil sarcasm,
• organize a family competition to eat your favorite dishes at speed,
• go on an unplanned trip to another city and spend time walking, holding hands,
• go to the beach at night and swim naked in the sea,
• put together a puzzle, play Twister or Monopoly - during the game you will become closer and have a lot of fun.

Go back in time

Memories of tender, sensual and simply happy moments spent together help bring you closer together. Find on the shelf an old Valentine's card that your partner once gave you. Re-read the correspondence of the first days. Look at photos from your wedding, honeymoon or other travels.

You can do all this together and spend time hugging, remembering interesting stories from your life together. Such an evening will help you get out of the routine and give a second wind to your relationship.