Young lover - how to get and how to keep a lover?


Couples in which the woman is older than the man no longer surprise anyone, but many people have different questions. To answer them, psychologists have done a lot of work, considering all the advantages and disadvantages of both the woman and the guy.

Why does a woman need a young lover?

To answer this question, experts had to talk with a large number of representatives of the fair sex who were not used to talking openly about their age. There are a number of reasons why women love young lovers:

  1. Good sex
    . Scientists have proven that representatives of the fair sex reach the peak of their sexuality by the age of 35, and men at 20-25 years. As a result, an unsatisfied woman looks for a good partner.
  2. Romance
    . Many young lovers are not devoid of romanticism, and they create unusual dates for their adult lovers, which older men are no longer capable of.
  3. Appearance
    . There is a widespread belief among people that a woman looks as old as her lover, which acts as a “rejuvenating agent.”
  4. Increased self-esteem
    . A young lover helps a woman understand that she is still beautiful and can compete with younger girls.
  5. Power
    . Many older ladies start relationships with a young guy in order to realize their maternal instinct. Some people have a desire to rule.

Rule No. 4 - “Be yourself”

Life in a “love triangle” is itself dual. It is not surprising that in this state of affairs a woman feels like 2 in 1, but at the same time she is the same as before.

The ability to be true to yourself is not innate. This is rather the result of upbringing and personality development. This quality of character must be constantly developed.

Remember, you are you, there is no one else like you. With every man you should be yourself, if only because they love you, and not a fictional character.

If you give in any slack, that’s it, there’s a threat of exposure. "Love Triangle" is not for the faint of heart.

It is also worth remembering that if the situation becomes confusing, you should not be led by your emotions, they are the worst adviser. In such situations, you should be calm and have a cool mind. This is the only way to make the right decision.

How to make a young lover?

The competition among the fair sex is enormous, so it is important to know how to stand out from the crowd. A woman at any age should look 100%, take care of her figure, the condition of her skin, and also understand modern trends and be an excellent lover. For guys, it is important that the relationship be easy and interesting. It is also worth understanding where women look for young lovers:

  1. Internet
    . There are many dating sites and social networks where you can communicate with different people. It is important to consider that there are many scammers on the Internet.
  2. Public places
    . You can meet people in entertainment venues, at exhibitions, and so on.
  3. A holiday romance
    . According to statistics, more often than usual, women have a young lover during their vacation. In a place where no one knows you, it’s easiest to do whatever you want.

Rule No. 6 - “A friend will not betray you, God will not notice, a good horse will not let you down”

If an intimate relationship outside of marriage has taken place, do not give yourself away, hide your emotions and disguise yourself. Reputation is everything to us. She must be flawless. For strangers, friends, acquaintances, you are an impeccable housewife and wife. Homebody.

In camouflage, indirect evidence is important, accumulated constantly, little by little, methodically. Then no one will be able to even entertain the thought of your infidelity.

If you say that you are going to the gym, then you need to return “as usual” at the same time, without makeup, tired, with a wet T-shirt in your sports bag. If you go to the spa, then exactly the opposite - satisfied and refreshed.

Young lover - pros and cons

Every situation has its own advantages and disadvantages, and when analyzed, one can understand their benefits. First, you should find out what is good for a young lover: romantic relationships, personal freedom, the feeling that a second youth has arrived, interesting communication, increased self-esteem and a chance to start life on a new page. In addition, women who are in love with a younger man look younger and more attractive. As for the shortcomings, these include condemnation from the public and relatives, different views on life and the failure of the partner.

Rule No. 7 - “Live without illusions”

Everything always passes. "Love Triangle" too. Over time, its corners are smoothed out, and it dissolves into Summer.

Eternal love between lovers is a priori impossible. Triple alliances, where all participants lived happily ever after and died on the same day, are a utopia. It should be left to the high art of poets and directors of erotic productions.

In real life, having affairs on the side takes a lot of emotional investment. It is necessary to constantly lie, adjust, play a role. It's tiring. Moreover, you never know how it will end and at what moment. You also need to remember this and not build castles in the air in your imagination.

How to keep a young lover?

To prevent a guy from being tempted to covet other girls, it is necessary to take into account some rules.

  1. Freedom is important for men at any age, so you should give up excessive control, jealousy and reproaches. Various quarrels can negatively affect relationships. Learn to calmly solve problems and seek compromise in different situations.
  2. Sex with a young lover should be passionate, varied and regular. Remember that you need to periodically add variety to your intimate life.
  3. Men are hunters, and you can make your chosen one jealous. It is important not to overdo it in this situation.
  4. A woman should always leave intrigue behind her to keep things interesting, otherwise the relationship will become boring.

How to behave with a young lover?

Psychologists give effective advice to help build a relationship with a guy.

  1. A young lover of a married woman must value his chosen one and be afraid of losing her. To do this, you need to keep him under slight tension, for example, by periodically refusing a date.
  2. When dealing with a young partner, you should avoid predictability, as this is the most common reason for separation in such couples.
  3. One of the important rules of strong relationships is respect and admiration, which is very important for representatives of the stronger sex at any age.
  4. When figuring out how to attract a young lover, it should be noted that for a strong relationship it is important to be a friend and support for a man.

How to communicate with a young lover?

The age difference often becomes the cause of many problems that manifest themselves in communication and this is associated with different interests. It is important to build a relationship with a young lover as an equal, since few are willing to submit to women. It is necessary to understand his interests in order to “be in the know.” Communication should not include any reproaches, much less any hints of age.

Rule No. 2 - “Rule of Life”

Cheating is always painful. Only those novels where there is love, or at least falling in love, are easy and painless.

It’s difficult to negotiate with your own conscience, and it doesn’t always work out. And combined with heightened emotions, it’s simply unbearable. Think about it: are you able to easily and calmly deceive a loved one? Realize that you will never have the opportunity to fall asleep and wake up next to your loved one, endlessly make excuses to your lover, why are you still not divorced from your husband?

And here’s the other side of the coin: put yourself in the place of your lover, just mentally switch roles. Can you live like this? Will it be easy in his place? If “yes,” then there are no reasons or barriers to adultery. If “no”, then you should think about whether this is really necessary?

How to win back a young lover - psychology

In a situation where the relationship has collapsed and the chosen one has left, you should not give up, since there is always a chance to return everything to its place. There are several tips on how to restore relationships in a couple where there is an adult lady and a young lover.

  1. It is not recommended to be in the heat of the moment and it is better to wait for a pause so that the man begins to get bored and realizes that he has lost something important in life.
  2. Don't waste your time and take care of yourself to become better and start improving yourself. You need to work not only on your appearance, but also on your internal qualities and mental abilities.
  3. In order for a young lover to return, you should not pester him with calls and messages, since such behavior only repels him.
  4. Draw a conclusion from the reasons for the separation and correct the situation in your favor.

Rule No. 5 - “Your health is your concern”

A married woman is an adult, mature person who is independently responsible for her life and health. Often she has to take responsibility for others, for example, for her children. So the issue of responsibility for a married lady is not new, rather the opposite.

Everyone knows that sex produces children, even elementary schoolchildren. Is it then worth mentioning contraception once again? Costs. Unprotected sex can cause not only children, but also a whole bunch of sexually transmitted diseases. Many of them are incurable. Always remember this.

Before starting an intimate relationship, it would be justified to ask a potential partner for a certificate about his sexual health. There is nothing inconvenient about this. If a man needs a woman, then a certificate of health will in no way become an obstacle for him to a relationship.

For her part, the lady would also benefit from regular monitoring of the flora, which is documented.

All your men must be ready to take responsibility for you, each in his turn. But practice shows that this is far from the case. In a fit of passion, a man’s brain turns off earlier and faster than a woman’s, so don’t blame me.

If a man is not ready for any responsibility, think about whether you need such an unreliable partner? Will this relationship bring more troubles than happy moments?

How to survive a breakup with a young lover?

In a situation where you have feelings for a man, but the relationship is over, you need to know how to help yourself not to become depressed and return to normal life.

  1. Find something you enjoy that will occupy all your free time and distract you from bad thoughts.
  2. You should try to find inner harmony and there are different ways, for example, resting alone helps some, and meditation helps others.
  3. For an older woman, a young lover can be an excellent proof of attractiveness and sexuality, so it’s worth mentally thanking him and starting a new life.

I love someone else, but I can’t leave my husband: what should I do?

How to choose one?

How to choose between husband and lover?

Be that as it may, if there is a choice between a lover and a husband, then this is a very difficult situation. What to do? How to decide?

  1. Even if your husband has not yet found out about the existence of your lover, understand that this cannot continue for long .
    Sooner or later, either your spouse will find out about everything, or your lover will get tired of his status and he will put you before a choice.
  2. Approach this situation rationally. Just because a man is a good lover, this does not mean that he will be a good partner for you in a long-term and serious relationship. Now you are especially attracted to mystery and passion, but this will pass and what will you be left with? Are you ready to start a new family with this man?
  3. Analyze why you started an affair in the first place. Are you tired of routine and everyday life? And did your lover help add fresh sensations to your life? Besides this, does he attract you in any way? Perhaps you will understand that it is worth working on your relationship with your husband, refreshing it, and not looking for new emotions on the side.
  4. Analyze your relationship with your husband. How do you feel about him now? Do you truly love him or is it just a habit? Maybe the feelings have long passed, but you are afraid to break off the relationship? Talk to him about this, together you will understand whether you can work on the relationship or whether it is better to get a divorce.
  5. It is impossible to love two people at once. Therefore, honestly answer yourself the question: which of these two men do you really have real and sincere feelings for? Let your heart choose.

Is it possible to combine?

Husband and lover - how to combine?

How to combine husband and lover? How to hide intrigue on the side?

  1. Try to do everything carefully so that your husband does not begin to suspect you. Therefore, if he asks why you came home so late, come up with a plausible and non-trivial reason in advance.
    Do not say “I was late at work” or “I went to visit a friend” - this may arouse suspicion. And it's easy to check.
  2. Be natural. Don't suddenly start giving gifts if you haven't done so before. There is also no need to engage in sycophancy. A sudden change in behavior may alert a spouse.
  3. Meet your lover during the daytime. Your absence from the marital bed will definitely raise questions in your husband.
  4. Do not appear with your lover in crowded places. Your husband's friends or acquaintances may see you. Therefore, going to restaurants or the theater is clearly not for you. Rent a hotel room or meet in an apartment that no one knows about. Just enter and exit the entrance or hotel separately - no one should see you together.
  5. Make sure you don't have any of your lover's things. If he forgets your jacket or, for example, an umbrella, then your husband will definitely be interested in who it belongs to and how you got it.
  6. Study your spouse's schedule. What time does he work, what days does he go to the gym, and when does he visit his parents? The better you know his schedule, the less likely you are to get caught.
  7. Don't bring a lover into your home. Under no circumstances. Even if the husband left for a week and definitely will not return ahead of time. Don't take that risk!
  8. Do not write down your lover's number in your notebook, do not leave his things or photographs as souvenirs . How will you then explain this to your husband if he accidentally finds it?
  9. It is best if your intrigue on the side does not drag on for too long. Otherwise, you will become attached to this guy and then it will bring a lot of problems.
    Moreover, there is a high probability that your lover will want more, will begin to be jealous of you and demand you to make a choice.

I'm pregnant from my lover

It is also possible that an affair on the side will lead you to pregnancy. What to do?

  1. Now you are scared, you may panic and take rash actions. Therefore , the first thing to do is calm down .
  2. Now think carefully about the current situation. Do you want to keep the child? Who will you raise him with? Will you confess all this to your husband or lover?
  3. It's time to decide. This is the moment when you really need to choose who you will continue your life with. But think carefully about this point. If a lover is good in bed, this does not mean that he will be a good husband and father.
  4. Yes, you have already stepped on a slippery slope, deceiving your husband and hiding another man from him. But now is the time to be honest. If you decide to keep the child, then you need to tell your husband everything as it is.
    He has the right to know. Yes, it's hard. Yes, his reaction can be unpredictable. But don’t force him to raise someone else’s child as his own in ignorance.

Is it possible to love two? Clinical psychologist's opinion:

How to break up with a young lover?

Often in such relationships, after a while, women realize that they have had their fill of “young blood” and it’s time to call it a day. Many representatives of the fair sex, comparing who is better than a husband and a young lover, opt for the first, and in this case it is important to separate correctly.

  1. The best solution is to calmly explain yourself to let the man know that there are no more feelings and it is better to separate.
  2. In some cases, an escape plan will help, that is, you can simply disappear from your lover’s life. You can use this scenario if you are sure that the guy will not pursue you.
  3. If there is a very young lover and there are feelings on his part, then it is important to do everything so as not to traumatize his psyche. In such situations, it is necessary to explain to him all the advantages and disadvantages of such unions.

Rule No. 1 - “Rule of Sex”

Adultery always involves lying and acting. In order not to get caught red-handed, if this is of course relevant to you, you need to be able to live a double life so that you are not suspected of lying and betrayal.

You will need remarkable acting talent and the ability to “silence the voice of conscience.”

During moments of sexual intimacy, a woman is especially vulnerable emotionally - the risk of exposure increases at least twice. Therefore, the head should be light, cool, and work like a personal computer. But, Lord, how difficult it can be sometimes!

The unpleasant option must definitely be thought out if the deception is still revealed. A woman should clearly know what she will say and do if her husband accuses her of cheating.

All men, without exception, are owners. This should always be remembered. There will be no “human understanding” of your excuses. Only 1 man in 1000 can calmly respond to your revelations, but even he will not provide the expected support. Russians are not Swedes, they have a different mentality, and approval for sexual life in threesomes will definitely not follow.

So where to look?

  1. If you work, there are probably a couple of cute junior employees nearby. Maybe one of them is the one? Try to get acquainted, what the hell is not joking.
  2. If your husband allows you to rest alone, that's great. On the Cote d'Azur you will definitely meet hot young guys looking for a pleasant pastime in the company of an experienced lady.
  3. Get out more often to the cinema, cafes and other places where young people may gather. Suddenly your future lover will set his sights on you.
  4. Visit fitness clubs and combine business with pleasure. There are a lot of athletic young handsome men there who want to back you up on a deep squat with a barbell.
  5. Take advantage of women's insidious tricks on the street. Find the target with your eyes and completely accidentally twist your leg next to it. Why not get acquainted?
  6. Public transport is popular among young people. Not everyone has money for a car, and city traffic jams make it difficult to get to your destination on time. Take a ride on the metro or bus, don’t forget to dress up - and a meeting with your future object of adoration may not be far off.

Statistics of female infidelity

Women who work in an office are more likely to have affairs than housewives or ladies who work from home. 27% of women who do not work in an office cheated, and 47% of those who work in a team.


57% of office workers met their lover at work.

Ladies who decide on a new romance more often choose married men in order to be on an equal footing. A family lover understands the importance of keeping the affair a secret, and is less likely to suffer from sexually transmitted diseases.

You can get acquainted with the statistics of female infidelity in more detail in the article How often do women cheat.

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