Very often women ask why her man doesn’t call. There were relationships, there were meetings. And then, for no particular reason, I just stopped calling and writing. What should a woman do in such a situation, how should she behave?
Indeed, modern young people quite often do exactly this, that is, for no apparent reason they stop communicating with their beloved. By the way, girls sometimes also sin with this behavior. But now we are talking about men. What is the reason for this behavior?
He got what he wanted
Often young people only need sex and nothing more. Is this news? If he received it, then thank you, nothing else is needed. Of course, it’s strange: there was sex, but maybe more? There is a male truth that is unpleasant for women: “Every girl deserves sex, but not every girl deserves sex twice.”
Perhaps he just needed sex. He got his and left Photo: pixabay.comAnd what about love? He said that he liked me, beautiful, sexy. That's right, without words of love and creating romance, the young man would not have reached the goal, sex itself. A girl just needs an increase in her importance, compliments, words of love, flowers, and then, maybe, sex. He needed just the opposite. The man got what he wanted, perhaps he hoped for greater passion, sexual activity and emancipation, but his expectations were not fully met.
So is it worth organizing courtship, romance a second time, listening to a lot of unnecessary information, spending time and money to get the same thing? He went to look elsewhere. What did you want?
The man has a girlfriend
Timofey, 30 : “I am happy in my relationship with my fiancée. We're getting married soon. But at a corporate party with colleagues, I went to a bar. Anfisa came up to me. She was beautiful and seductive. We left the place in a bad mood and went to the nearest hotel. I cheated on my fiancée. In the morning I came to my senses and ran away from the crime scene while the girl was sleeping. I am tormented by a feeling of guilt, and I want to forget about what I did. Anfisa found me on Facebook and regularly sends me love messages. I'm afraid of exposure. I had to block her account."
Conclusion : An unforgettable night for you may be a guy's stupid mistake. You should not go to bed with an untested man on the first night, even if he promised to call you back or marry you. You don't know the person's marital status or intentions. And you give him the most important trophy, after which you will be of no interest to him.
He's just more expensive than you
In life, we all have our price, including in personal relationships. There is such a market - personal relationships, which is sometimes called the market for marriage relationships. Any girl or young man in this market is somehow valued. Think about it, when they say: “You are my dear,” what is it about? Either you are costing me dearly, or maybe your appearance and personal qualities are of high value. At a minimum, an assessment is given, moreover, in economic terms.
Perhaps he considered that he was “more expensive” than you and put you in line Photo: pixabay.comLet's say there is a girl whose qualities and merits, relatively speaking, are in the top ten. This includes the ability to communicate, earn money, be independent and other valuable qualities. Any person wants to be perceived as positively as possible, that is, to note all the positive things and, if possible, not notice the shortcomings. Therefore, any girl (young man) tries to demonstrate her advantages.
And this is where the fun begins. A girl, of course, can find herself a young man whom she can control. He should have fewer qualities and advantages, about a “six”, i.e., knowledge and skills, valuable personal qualities, opportunities to earn money, etc., objectively less. In this case, he is obliged to pay her extra. How?
What is the universal equivalent of payback in a couple's relationship?
That's right
If she is a “ten”, and he is cheaper - a “six”, then he must pay extra with the absence of rights and the presence of responsibilities. She doesn't have to call him, but he has to call first. She has the right to be late - he is obliged to wait for her because he is interested. Those who ask because they are in need have fewer rights; Accordingly, she has more rights to manage him. On the other hand, the young lady enjoys managing this young man, but she wants a guy who is fifteen. And then the girl begins to understand that the one who is “fifteen” is more expensive than her: he is smarter, more beautiful, more talented. By the way, she is a “10”, and there are also girls at “11”, “12”, etc. It turns out that she is just standing in line. The standard situation is that the one she wants does not pay attention to her: the girl is very “cheap” for him. And whoever she doesn’t need pesters her.
Girls have their own evaluation criteria and potential partners are distributed in the same way. Photo: pixabay.comReal life situation? Nothing new has been invented, it is there.
So, if you communicated with a man who is very dear to you, then he understands this, so he has no obligation to call first, write SMS, or continue courtship. Now you have this responsibility. If, of course, there is interest.
Afraid to show feelings
Slavik, 20 : “After breaking up, I’m in no hurry to call my girlfriend. As soon as she realizes that I have fallen in love, she begins to act as if I am forever in captivity. Pushes around desires, forbids going out with friends. I don't like a lot of affection and tenderness. One hot night is enough for me. I love from a distance."
Conclusion : After realizing mutual feelings, there is no need to attack a person’s freedom. Realize whether he is ready to sacrifice time, some hobbies, etc. for you. Or he's looking for a one-night stand.
Doesn't want to
Why doesn't a camel eat cotton wool? He doesn't want to. So is the man. This surprises many women, but besides sex, young people have something else to do. They may be passionate, for example, about their business, friends, sports, hobbies, or an interesting new project. If you are not more relevant than all of the above at the moment, then should you be surprised why he doesn’t call, doesn’t write, or has disappeared. The answer is - he’s busy, he can’t, or rather, he just doesn’t want to.
Talented young people are often very enthusiastic people, they simply have no time to call Photo: pixabay.comUnforeseen situation
Ilya, 24 : “I met Vika at a wedding of mutual friends. We had a nice conversation and exchanged phone numbers. The baby's voice captivated me. I would have left earlier, but I stayed until the end and took the girl home. The next day I wanted to dial. Friends suddenly invited me to a picnic and I went out of town. I didn't refuse. For a week I got tired and remembered the call 10 days later. Vika no longer had any hope. She showed disinterest, but agreed to the meeting.”
Conclusion : People are still strangers to each other. But if the girl is interested, then the guy calls the next day. The guy will not be stopped by meeting with friends or football. You still need to try harder to seduce such a male.
Doesn't see the result of his courtship
Guys love beautiful and inaccessible: This is what many girls think and create a mask on their face “don’t interfere, they’ll kill you.” Well, young people don’t “fit in,” but she, in fact, wants attention and communication. How will he understand if she makes it clear with all her appearance and behavior that “closed”?
Of course, young people can remember that “the city takes courage” and bravely rush at the external indifference and coldness of a girl, but why do guys need this, because there are many who are open and friendly. Sometimes a sporting interest kicks in, whether I can do it or not. But you have to pay for communicating with such a young lady, like everything else in this world, for example, time, mental effort, etc. And the result is far from obvious.
The girls are left alone and ask themselves: why? Yes, because no matter how attractive you are, if “unavailable” is written on your face, then for young people this means access has been denied in advance. If the door is closed, don’t break in, persistently look for the open door. So they don’t break. And she was already daydreaming, the guy showed interest, but, faced with apparent inaccessibility, disappeared.
Perhaps you have shown yourself to be too proud and unapproachable Photo: pixabay.comThe winners are girls who may not have the most attractive appearance, but are friendly and sociable. It seems that, at first glance, she is “no good”, but the guys are constantly hanging around her, taking her into their company, courting her. And then the other girls get jealous, but continue to wear a sign on their foreheads that says “don’t interfere, he’ll kill you.” Maybe it's time to change the sign?
Diffidence
Kostya, 27 : “I met Maya in the company of friends. She flirted with me, but spent the entire evening dancing with a mutual friend Misha. I took the number but didn't call back. Misha made it clear that they are only friends and she is free. I didn't have the determination to pick up a girl in the next week. I’m looking forward to the next meeting in the company to make sure she likes me.”
Conclusion : The guy decides not to take responsibility. He likes to go with the flow. He will look closely and listen to feelings. This is not your option.
That’s what men say: she’s “loading.” But he didn’t get hired as a “loader”
Every person has their own fairy tale about what love and love relationships should be like. For example, all little girls know that the most beautiful event in life is a wedding. They look at the happy bride and understand that this is love. And the best doll in the same beautiful dress. This is how fairy tales of love are created.
For girls , in general terms, beautiful love can look like this: he is courageous, confident, strong, in personal communication he is affectionate and gentle, not like everyone else, he knows how to look after beautifully, you can be reliable, warm and interesting with him. He is successful in business, has a good sense of humor and is only interested in her, while other girls simply make him sick.
For men, it’s simpler : she’s sexy and available to him, and love and relationships can come later, well, or in the process, the main thing is that the young lady doesn’t overwhelm her with tears, claims, whims, and snotty romance. So this is the most urgent expectation of men - that a woman does not “load”: before sex, after sex, instead of sex. Most women do not live up to men's fairy tales and expectations. And rightly so, they have their own needs, young people are ready to put up with it, but when there is no sex or it is bad and the young lady is very “burdened”, then the man simply disappears.
These are a few main reasons and they are not the ultimate truth. However, if you don’t argue with the above, but think about it - how is my life? - then you can draw many useful conclusions for yourself.
Tags: girls, couple relationships, love relationships, sex
I liked you
Oleg, 23 : “I liked Marina from the first minute. She is beautiful in all aspects. Communication in the cafe was easy: we have a lot in common. I was afraid to call her. Marina will think that I have fallen in love. I wanted to call in two weeks, but she probably has another boyfriend. I’ve been thinking about a girl for a month now.”
Conclusion : Waiting for a call from a man who is afraid is ridiculous. It takes him a long time to get ready for a message or call! And then they suffer all their lives with an indecisive husband.
Recommendations from psychologists
The main advice of all psychologists is to focus on yourself. If your boyfriend has disappeared and doesn’t want to continue communicating with you, don’t let depression enter your life. Make every effort, become more attractive, more interesting, so that the next man will be amazed by you.
- Development. Come up with a new hobby for yourself: horse riding, yoga, felting wool toys, massage courses, painting, dancing - do what gives you pleasure.
- Change of image. Most women are sure that a new style will change their lives for the better. Thanks to the change in image, they attract more attention. Brightness, well-groomed, beauty - such a woman is difficult not to notice.
- Wardrobe update. An option not only to enhance attractiveness, but also to lift your spirits. Almost any woman will not refuse shopping. Buying a new dress, bright shoes, a radical change in style - do not deny yourself this.
- Appearance. Maybe your chosen one has become less interested in you because the relationship has affected your appearance, you have become less well-groomed than at the beginning of the affair? Remember, men love it when a beautiful lady is next to them. Be beautiful, whether you've been together for two weeks or ten years.
- Vivid impressions. Give yourself positive emotions - go to Thailand, skydive, go to a car race. Make your old dreams come true. This way you can come to terms with the breakup less painfully and get rid of bad thoughts.
- Going out to people. Don't lock yourself within four walls. Of course, you can allow yourself to burst into tears while listening to a sad love drama, eating away your melancholy with ice cream or cake. But no more than one or two days! This way you can ruin your figure, and this is completely useless. Get off the couch, call your friends and move forward to new adventures!
Sources:
https://www.syl.ru/article/353938/pochemu-on-ne-zvonit-i-ne-pishet-ya-zvonyu-a-on-ne-perezvanivaet https://feelcontrol.net/building-relationships /communication/esli-muzhchina-ne-zvonit-i-ne-pishet-chto-eto-znachit.html https://woplan.net/kak-sebya-vesti-devushke-esli-muzhchina-ne-zvonit-i- ne-pishet-chto-znachit-takoe-povedenie/
There are 1000 things on the wish list:
- Play some sports
- Make it a beauty day
- Take a walk with your friends
- Learn a foreign language
You have something to do during the day.
- Relationship development depends on the woman
- Let feelings develop gradually
- Be forbidden fruit for him.
There's no point in thinking. Whether he calls or not, there is no third choice. Don't invent princes. This is a victim state that some are comfortable being in. Develop yourself and don't waste time. Destiny cannot be missed. Does not call? — mentally thank the person and move on. The prince is waiting for you ahead, and you are wasting time on strangers. If he is your destiny, he will find a way to contact you!
